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remus lupin is not a pawn ([info]atamewerewolf) wrote in [info]flippedrpg,
@ 2012-08-22 01:31:00

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Entry tags:ch: knap: remus lupin, ch: knap: sirius black, p: emmy, p: veetee

Who: Sirius and Remusknap
What: Well, they need to talk about the playground world too.
When: A good while after Remus' talk with colour!Sirius
Where: Sirius' Unit
Warnings: Nah



Things hurt less at the age of sixteen. He didn't have a complete knowledge of how his life had panned out and how people expected it to pan out years later. He didn't have a road map that was supposed to guide his experiences. Expectations were not present and he had been able to just enjoy being young. He was carefree in those few days and genuinely happy, for he had gotten the one thing he wanted at that age. And yet, as soon as his memories were in tact, he had come close to sheer panic, afraid that those few days had destroyed months of joy without someone else. When it was evident this was not the case, and he had calmed to a point, he was able to venture onto the journals.

Hogwarts. Oh, goody.

Still, he knew he couldn't avoid things. Not anymore. There was no avoiding the Sirius of his youth and his world. He had a feeling they were going to have more than a few things to speak about, which was why he did not refuse the proposition of talking. Still, he was anxious, uncertain where this was going to lead. He just hoped Sirius was okay.

He knocked upon the door, taking a step back. No longer did he look like a sixteen year old boy, in second hand clothes that were just slightly too big for him. No, he was back to his ironed slacks and pressed shirts, a hat resting on his head. Suave Moony. An entirely different man, molded by twenty three years of experience and travels. "Sirius," he spoke allowed to indicate whom was awaiting an answer, "it's Remus."



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[info]atamewerewolf
2012-08-23 01:33 am UTC (link)
"No, you didn't," he repeated and it looked as though it pained him to say it. He remembered years of minor hopes. The smallest ones. Where maybe, just maybe, Sirius had known or felt the same, but was biding her time. Or too afraid. Or anything, really. He may have given up the hopes but the feelings they had brought remained laced with the memories, impossible not to fill when he thought back on that age.

"That...those past few days...were a dream come true. A former dream," he whispered before moving to lean up against the wall, arms crossed tight still.

"Things were a lot simpler then." He commented, looking to Sirius, but only for a moment. "Sometimes I hate this place. It...it makes things harder then they every should be," he added before sighing.

But he also loved it. He loved it because of the chances he had at a different happiness then his future would dictate. The friends he was able to make. The life he was getting to live.

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[info]_rebelrebel
2012-08-24 05:25 am UTC (link)
Sirius had no idea what he was supposed to say -- he had never thought -- not Remus. Not Remus who was so much more mature than the rest of them, and he couldn't help but be frustrated with what he couldn't remember again. Sixteen was as far as things were clear, and he'd messed around a bit then, of course, but he hadn't -- He hadn't been serious with anyone, and he didn't know what he was supposed to say to Remus to make this remotely okay. Apologies wouldn't be right.

"I know that things won't ever be that simple again," Sirius said, swallowing unevenly; his mouth suddenly felt dry. But he felt he had to be honest, had to press forward. He'd been honest with James today, and he felt he owed Remus the same -- maybe even more. "And I didn't know where we stood when I came here, and I certainly don't know now... But I miss you all the same; I need you as a friend again."

He looked imploringly up at Remus, waiting to see what he would say. He was feeling far too vulnerable, and he didn't care for the sensation at all -- but he kind of guessed that was also how Remus was feeling at the moment.

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