remus lupin is not a pawn (![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} atamewerewolf) wrote in ![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small} flippedrpg,@ 2012-08-19 12:43:00 |
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| Entry tags: | ch: knap: remus lupin, ch: knap: sirius black, p: emmy, p: veetee |
Who: Sirius and Remusknap
What: Discussing teenage emotions
When: Yesterday
Where: A treehouse
Warnings: Nah
It was difficult to wrap his mind around everything that the pamphlet said, and even harder to try to figure out which world was his properly. There was so little information in the pamphlet that could identify it. All of the pamphlets seemed to be identifying on core points in a life he didn't know and people he didn't know. It made figuring out which of the Marauders were his proper difficult and he wondered how James had come to an understanding that he wasn't his Remus. Perhaps because that James was from the world with factions? He knew he didn't have those. No, he had Hogwarts and lessons with Albus. But there was no mention of any of that.
Discussion had brought him to figuring out which Sirius was his at least. He had quietly mentioned missing out on one of his private lectures, with a solemn face, and the Sirius he was now sitting with had seemed to at least understand that. He wondered if that was something the other worlds had. Did he get these types of special lessons outside of the classroom elsewhere? It wasn't always with Albus, in fact rarely was it, which was why he was sort of disappointed that he had missed one by coming here. Still, it wasn't so bad, though it was highly confusing.
One of the Sirius' seemed far more outgoing then Remus was ever used to. There was no secret that Remus hated his own apperance. The scars and gashes that lined his body from youth were not something he found attractive; nor were they something he wished for people to see. And then...he knew precisely what Sirius was implying. And though he had many, many fantasies of situations where he was being caressed by the man...fantasies he didn't dare speak outloud...he got the impression that it would have been just another shag to that Sirius. A Sirius whom was not his own. He knew that immediately from the manner of his words.
He wanted more then that. He wanted it to mean something.
Maybe that was silly.
He was sitting now in one of the treehouses, having stolen a plate heaping with slices of pizza, with his back against the walls. His leg was dangling down the entrance and he was staring out ahead, listening to the sound of laughter in the distance.
He didnt' think that he'd ever been accused of being the honorable one out of the four of them. Petey was cautious and Remus was obviously responsible. James had his own code of morals that he adhered to, which let him retain some sense of honor. But he was Sirius Black. He was the reckless one. The one that didn't gave a damn, readily labeled hooligan and rebel. The one who had been called a slag by girls. And yet, something irked about him the way another Sirius was speaking to Moony. You just couldn't proposition a Moony like that -- it wasn't them. Moony couldn't be some experiment, some one night stand. He was their Moony.
He couldn't even precisely say why it irked him. But it did. He was pissed about it, the more he thought about it.
He also had no idea what world he came from. Perhaps it should have concerned him more, but it didn't. It did mean that there was the potential that a lot of horrific futures were waiting for him (he didn't seem to get a lot of happy endings in the pamphlets) but he had pushed that to the side for the time being.
At the moment, he was merely enjoying being with what he was pretty sure was his Moony. The moment he'd seen him, he'd sort of just thought that it was his Moony, which was maybe silly, because maybe all the Moonies looked exactly the same.
He grinned as he reached over and stole a slice of pizza before leaning back in the treehouse again.
"You look like you're thinking serious thoughts," Sirius teased wryly with a grin, nudging Remus' hip with the heel of his foot.
He gave a light huff that could have posed for a hint of laughter or just an acknowledgement of the statement, but he meant it to be a sense of amusement. Or an attempt. He was having Sirius thoughts, though he wasn't going to mention that allowed. Once the huff had been released, his shoulders shrugged, and he turned his head to glance back to his friend.
"Does jealousy of not having this good of pizza back at school count as a serious thought?" He asked, which of course was not at all the problem, but it made him smile as he leaned forward and grabbed another slice.
"I don't know, Pads, I'm just...wrapping my mind around all of this, you know? It isn't every week you get to see yourself talking to three other versions of yet again yourself."
"Pizza is always a serious thought, Moony," Sirius answered, managing to keep his voice entirely flat as he answered. As soon as he was finished though, he couldn't help but break out into another grin. Because while he might have spent his hours lamenting over the pizza that was served at Hogwarts, he didn't believe for a second that Remus would be doing the same.
"Try five of yourself," Sirius teased when Remus mentioned three. He'd seen a few of the others Moonies -- although he hadn't met any in person yet. He was a bit curious about them, as curious as he was about the other Jameses and Siriusi. There was only one Peter as far as he could tell. (And he couldn't help but wonder what the hell Peter would look like as a woman. Strange, he betted.) But he made a great woman, and he would have loved the opportunity to get to meet other versions of Remus.
"It's not so bad though, is it?" Sirius asked as he took a bite of pizza.
"Is it now?" He asked with a raised eyebrow, though the answer wasn't important to him. He believed it was true and it was not really a debate. Hogwarts needed pizza more often, certainly, and more to this caliber.
"I think there is at least five of me. But the room I'm in has two, at the very least," he mused out loud before shifting to press his back further up against the wall.
Another shrug was given. "No. It's...odd, but not bad, well..." he cut off after the well. He didn't know where to lead the sentence and it was likely going into territory he didn't know how to express.
"I just don't know," he decided to finish with, though it didn't sound entirely true.
"Of course," Sirius answered, continuing to grin. "When is pizza not a serious issue?" SIrius asked cheekily. He knew that no Moony would probably ever see the food that was served at Hogwarts as a serious business -- but he rather suspected that it would be a good way of distracting Remus from whatever was really bothering him at the moment.
"Does it bother you?" Sirius asked, figuring he might as well cut to the heart of the subject. It seemed as if Remus was dancing around it. There was clearly something about multiple thems that was leaving him ill at ease. Sirius didn't exactly know how else to go about asking Remus what was wrong; Remus was good at being subtle. Sirius never was.
"Not being able to read some of them the way I can read you, Prongsy, and Petey bothers me," he admitted as he picked at a lose thread on his sleeve. He yanked at it, his eyes focused down, until it tugged free and he let it fall to the ground.
"You think that other Sirius was having a laugh at me?" He finally asked, quietly, because it seemed as though it were a delicate subject for him. "Or...well, he seemed serious. It didn't seem like a joke," he clarified, his eyes still averted, his frown etching in fully.