InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Luke, I am your father."

Theodore Nott (nottfinished) wrote in finnigans_rpg,
@ 2015-08-01 15:38:00

Current mood:	guilty
Entry tags:	journal: battlescars, journal: seamus, journal: theodore, journal: tristan

Battlescars Journal: Anonymous
When will we finally be punished?

If nightmares are my punishment then should I even try to stop them?

Some people lost their lives, their whole families, watched their houses burned and their children mutilated in front of them while all I do is struggle to sleep at night?

(Post a new comment)

	Anonymous Comment alliterative 2015-08-02 12:44 am UTC (link)
	~~We?~~ Do something to get sent to Azkaban if you want to be punished and make whatever it is you're wanting to be punished for known to the other inmates. I imagine they'd be happy to punish you if that's what you want. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	Anonymous Comment nottfinished 2015-08-02 12:19 pm UTC (link)
	I don't want to commit more crimes. I don't think they'd punish me for what I did anyway. I don't think that's the kind of thing they frown upon. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Anonymous Comment alliterative 2015-08-03 09:52 pm UTC (link)
	I'd think that'd depend on what you did. For instance, most people frown upon crimes to children and will take it upon themselves to dispense their own brand of justice. You should speak with a therapist. It helps with a lot of things. And who is "we"? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Anonymous Comment nottfinished 2015-08-04 09:21 pm UTC (link)
	Most people who aren't deservedly in Azkaban. I ~~had a~~ have a therapist; I'm sorry. And thank you, for your help The people who deserve to be (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Anonymous Comment

alliterative
2015-08-04 09:34 pm UTC (link)

~~What? How does that have to do with what you did or didn't do? Or is this about the "we," and you just skip around, making no sense? Because I do not~~

Why are you sorry about having or having had a therapist?

And who is supposed to judge who deserves and who does not deserve to be punished? ~~You, who, by the sound of it, would have me thrown back in despite~~ If you personally think you need to atone for something, look into doing something productive and proactive. Do your penance with a charity or give back to the community in some way. You'll be giving up your own time and putting forth your own energy, possibly even by hand if you do something that involves physical work and go magicless with it, to do something good for someone you may have hurt or even someone who may have been hurt by others who you don't know (such as helping out with that foundation or helping to build houses or helping landscape public areas in the Wizarding World or any other means you can think of to help out our community). If you're feeling penitent, that's probably the best course of action if you're not wanting to go to the extreme of being imprisoned.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Anonymous Comment

nottfinished
2015-08-04 09:50 pm UTC (link)

You sounded like you're speaking from experience. I'm sorry that you had to go through something that required it.

Some people need it. I need it. It's not enough, building something, creating or helping now, it's too late, it's too late for all that now. I should have said something when I had the chance. I should have done something that would have stopped people being hurt. I should have done something. Nothing is going to erase the fact that it happened.

I should be torn apart by- That said, you're right; giving something is better than nothing. Better than this, definitely.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Anonymous Comment alliterative 2015-08-06 12:03 am UTC (link)
	Based on what I can glean from what you've marked out, I'll say it's never too late, and anything you can do is better than doing nothing when it comes to helping people. Something is better than nothing in this case. (Reply to this) (Parent)

openbottle
2015-08-03 04:12 pm UTC (link)

I know it seems like it should work that way, but I don't think it does.

You deal with you, and let other people deal with themselves. You continuing to suffer doesn't take away any of their suffering. It's not transferable. If they're good people, they don't want there to be more suffering in the world so they wouldn't begrudge you doing what you can to stop the nightmares.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	Anonymous Comment nottfinished 2015-08-03 08:20 pm UTC (link)
	I feel like I deserve it. I feel like I deserve more than just bad dreams. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

openbottle
2015-08-04 08:19 am UTC (link)

Then you probably don't. If you feel that way, you probably regret what you did - you either didn't want to do it or you've since realised it was wrong and you wouldn't do it again.

The people who really deserve it are the people who destroyed lives and families just for fun, because they thought they were above our laws and morals. Those people would do it again, if they knew they wouldn't be caught, and they don't feel like they deserve punishment.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Anonymous Comment nottfinished 2015-08-04 09:23 pm UTC (link)
	I feel like I need it. What if you ~~could have~~ should have stopped those people, but didn't. Could have tried harder. What if you were a coward and people died because of it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

openbottle
2015-08-05 07:05 am UTC (link)

[Added some time later]

Would you being punished change anything? It wouldn't bring back those who died, so the only thing it could change is you. Would you act or think differently if you were punished? Do you think it would take away the guilt?

We all did things we regret, and made choices we wish we could go back and change. It was a war - not the best decision making circumstances. Even something as small as going left or right changed the battle, could have meant different people died or lived. ~~I was, and they did, do I deserve~~

Could anyone have stopped the war earlier, except Voldemort?

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	Anonymous Comment nottfinished 2015-08-05 10:56 pm UTC (link)
	No, you're right. I don't know. It would restore some kind of cosmic balance that I don't really believe in? I feel like I should be hurting more than I am now. It doesn't feel right that I'm not. Is it worse to do bad because you believe you're doing the right thing or to do nothing and let what you know is bad happen? I'm sorry. It just doesn't feel like enough. (Reply to this) (Parent)