InsaneJournal

Journal: And Carry On

[Warded for privacy and set with a trio of very strong hexes.]

I never want to be a devotee of Ares if this is how he thrives.

I can't sleep through the night now. I think Lucy suspects. Rich almost certainly does. Gods help me if the sound wards fail, because then Theo will hear, and I can't bear putting him through this too. I can't ask for more Dreamless Sleep so soon after my last order. Dora's breathing techniques help a little, but not enough. All I can see when I close my eyes is blood. And green. No one can hear me, everything's slow. I see Rich and Lucy and Alicia now, too, besides the others, and I never did before. I keep dreaming I'm caught underground, surrounded by angry Fire and Earth spirits, and they always scream in languages I've never heard before. Keep telling me I should have made different choices, or that I can't save them now. Who is "them?" I'm so afraid it's the boys. Or Adi. I couldn't save Draco, or Theo, or Dora. I didn't choose to be Marked, but there's still a snake on my forehead other people can see, and that's half the same, isn't it? Not a traitor, but close. House of the Snake. I know more than one of the volunteers down at the Muggle office from our world, and that they're waiting for me to show my scales. Some cultures think snakes can be good things. Why isn't ours one of them?

I don't remember half of what I told Dora the day of the attack, and it worries me.


Do not forget:
Wednesday
0930 Meeting with Lucille -- Montmartre -- contract for the new vineyard -- bring the cerulean folders
1045 Meeting with Marc -- Le Havre -- updates on the new housing development -- bring roses for his wife and the new baby
1630 Tea with Jeanne -- Neuwiller-lès-Saverne -- report on the new strain of mandrakes
1800 Family dinner -- Yellow Room -- wear the purple dress

[End ward.]


[Warded to Adrian and Rich.]

I have a strange favour to ask. Can you make me a list of Muggle music artists I should know if I'm going to keep from sticking out like a cabbage on a rose bush?

[End ward.]


[Warded to Dora.]

I'm thinking of growing my hair out. What do you think?

[End ward.]