InsaneJournal

Who: Ernie and Theodore
What: Bonfire night redux leaves Theodore a nervous wreck
Where: Ernie's place
When: Saturday evening
Warnings: PTSD, mentions of past child abuse, heavy potions use (is that something I should be warning for? warning for it anyway), panic attacks
Status: Closed/Ongoing



Monday night had been nice for Theo - for someone who had lost his virginity at nine, going on his first date at 24 had been a frightening concept but it had also almost marked off something new for him, that he might not be the broken thing he thought he was and that he might even be able to take some steps towards being normal. He was holding down some jobs and his brain was happy for something new to learn, picking things up with Ravenclaw sharpness the way his mind had usually done. He was happy to be getting some money in so that he could funnel something toward Draco at the end of the week as some kind of rent for being allowed to stay.

And then Wednesday had happened and he'd cowered in that room like a dog to scared to come out from behind the couch, or under the bed as he had eventually had to resort to. It had been embarassing and had almost undone all the progress he'd felt he'd made, but reaching out had actually helped (who was he kidding, talking to Ernie had helped and how strange had that been to discover) and he'd made it to the end of the week with minimal fuss. He'd been sure that he could hold off the panic with the help of potions and some thick curtains over the weekend, but the fireworks were even worse on Saturday, the weather a little better and no one thinking about work the next day.

It didn't take long for Theo to have a panic attack, despite having taken the maximum dose of the strongest potions he was allowed to have, nothing that was actually very strong because of concerns over self-harm should he be given anything that could actually have any real impact. He had flashbacks that went far before the Battle of Hogwarts and he was left jumping at every bang and flinching from every too bright light, a shivering end piece of what he had been just the day before.

Strung out on potions and shaking, he knew the one place where he'd felt safe before, where he'd felt safer even than this sanctuary given to him by one of his best friends and he'd Apparated out of Malfoy Manor with the tell-tale noise of his Apparation, a cut off scream that was more than uncomfortable to hear. He reappeared somewhere close to Ernie's place, unseen, and drew himself up to Ernie's front door, knocking at it restlessly and without rhythm, hidden away under a grey cloak and dressed all in over-large soft clothing, trying to soothe him as much as possible and clearly not doing a very good job. His hair was a mess and he still started at every percussive noise. Shaking and semi-high, there was nothing composed about this Theo at all.