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Theodore Nott ([info]nottfinished) wrote in [info]finnigans_rpg,
@ 2014-11-09 00:21:00

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Entry tags:character: ernie macmillan, character: theodore nott

Who: Ernie and Theodore
What: Bonfire night redux leaves Theodore a nervous wreck
Where: Ernie's place
When: Saturday evening
Warnings: PTSD, mentions of past child abuse, heavy potions use (is that something I should be warning for? warning for it anyway), panic attacks
Status: Closed/Ongoing



Monday night had been nice for Theo - for someone who had lost his virginity at nine, going on his first date at 24 had been a frightening concept but it had also almost marked off something new for him, that he might not be the broken thing he thought he was and that he might even be able to take some steps towards being normal. He was holding down some jobs and his brain was happy for something new to learn, picking things up with Ravenclaw sharpness the way his mind had usually done. He was happy to be getting some money in so that he could funnel something toward Draco at the end of the week as some kind of rent for being allowed to stay.

And then Wednesday had happened and he'd cowered in that room like a dog to scared to come out from behind the couch, or under the bed as he had eventually had to resort to. It had been embarassing and had almost undone all the progress he'd felt he'd made, but reaching out had actually helped (who was he kidding, talking to Ernie had helped and how strange had that been to discover) and he'd made it to the end of the week with minimal fuss. He'd been sure that he could hold off the panic with the help of potions and some thick curtains over the weekend, but the fireworks were even worse on Saturday, the weather a little better and no one thinking about work the next day.

It didn't take long for Theo to have a panic attack, despite having taken the maximum dose of the strongest potions he was allowed to have, nothing that was actually very strong because of concerns over self-harm should he be given anything that could actually have any real impact. He had flashbacks that went far before the Battle of Hogwarts and he was left jumping at every bang and flinching from every too bright light, a shivering end piece of what he had been just the day before.

Strung out on potions and shaking, he knew the one place where he'd felt safe before, where he'd felt safer even than this sanctuary given to him by one of his best friends and he'd Apparated out of Malfoy Manor with the tell-tale noise of his Apparation, a cut off scream that was more than uncomfortable to hear. He reappeared somewhere close to Ernie's place, unseen, and drew himself up to Ernie's front door, knocking at it restlessly and without rhythm, hidden away under a grey cloak and dressed all in over-large soft clothing, trying to soothe him as much as possible and clearly not doing a very good job. His hair was a mess and he still started at every percussive noise. Shaking and semi-high, there was nothing composed about this Theo at all.


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[info]erniedtmac
2014-11-09 01:39 am UTC (link)
Ernie'd had an excellent week. First was the date with Theodore, which had seemed to go rather well, and with any luck would be repeated, then there was the night out with Zacharias to listen to some good music, and finally he'd gotten ahold of the head of his ward to approach him about the research he'd been doing about a new spell to help the patients - the meeting was scheduled for Monday.

Today was Saturday, his relaxed day, and he'd decided to spend the evening baking. He was more of a cook than a baker, to be honest, but he wanted something sweet to enjoy as he read the lastes Muggle fantasy novel he'd bought. Since he didn't want to take overly long, he'd simply looked up a quick recipe for brownies and mixed them together in no time. Now, they were in the oven baking, and he had the wireless on to a nice station. He danced around his flat as he waited for the oven to chime.

His moment was shaken by a knock on the door and, still dancing to the music, he made his way there and opened it. Even after the last war, he still opened doors without checking to see who was on the other side. Who would want to hurt him, after all?

"Hey!" He said with a surprised grin as he recognized Theodore, a grin that quickly slid off his face as he realized there was something wrong. His friend was shaking and his hair was messy, definitely a different Theodore than he'd seen on Monday.

"Hey," he said again, more softly this time. "Come on in. Can I take your cloak?"

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[info]nottfinished
2014-11-09 05:59 pm UTC (link)
Theo took a moment staring at Ernie before he could respond to anything he was asked, finding it hard to absorb what he was being told. He visibly started at a sudden sound on the street and didn't recover from the startle as quickly as he should have done. He'd half turned towards the sound and his attention was still drawn that way when he turned to speak to Ernie. The world swam a little as he turned his head making him temporarily dizzy, leaving him reaching out to grab at the doorframe.

"I, I-" he stammered, shivering and then stumbled in towards Ernie, making for his door and just about avoiding crashing into the man himself. "Can you hear that, can you, can you hear that?" he asked, his eyes wide and the whites showing like a dog backed into a corner. "He get's so angry." he said in a hushed voice and it sounded scared but young.

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[info]erniedtmac
2014-11-09 06:39 pm UTC (link)
Ernie was worried when he saw Theodore stumble, and then the things he was saying - it was all setting off alarms in Ernie's mind.

"I can't hear it," he said, always honest with patients and friends alike. "But it looks like it's got you scared. Whoever he is, he's not here. Nobody's here except you and me."

Once Theodore was inside, Ernie closed the door behind him, and then warded it just in case. If someone was coming after his friend, they would have to get through him first. He then turned to Theodore and held out a hand, not touching, simply offering - actually touching his friend in the condition he was in would likely not have a positive outcome. "Come on, let's have a seat on the sofa. Do you want to talk about it?"

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[info]nottfinished
2014-11-09 11:14 pm UTC (link)
Whether or not Theo was actually hearing what Ernie was saying was touch and go, but he came in properly and twitched visibly at even the sound of the door closing behind him. He shivered, his bad hand especially trembling, as Ernie warded the door, looking about not entirely seeing his surroundings, scoping out any exits and any areas that he could be trapped in. He jumped a little to the side when Ernie held his hand out as though it would bit him, chewing on his lip and flicking his eyes from the harmlessly outstretched hand to Ernie's face and back again anxiously while Ernie asked him to take a seat, which he did.

He perched on the very edge of the cushions, clearly ready to leap away at a moment's notice, tense as a mousetrap and shaking still, although it was beginning to look as though some of the trembling might have been from the potions he'd taken. He was somewhere between flashbacks and the present, hyped up and oversedated at once on potions and scraped down to a raw nerve on the fireworks outside which had pushed him to the edge of coping. He seemed to come back to himself for a little bit and he swallowed and seemed to relax, looking at Ernie and seeing him this time, his expression apologetic but still framed with wild helplessness. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry to do this Ernie, I just, all these fireworks-" he shrugged and waved a hand. "It's just a bit, a bit difficult to-" he stopped and turned his head at some sound, noises that he'd become hyperattuned to and just like that his grip on lucidity wavered again. "Ya nenavizhu prikhodit' domoy na leto , pochemu my ne mozhem prosto ostat'sya v shkole" He said, quiet and hushed but calm in a way that was chilling. He was still but his breathing came fast and thready like a small mammal waiting for the hawk to come down.

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[info]erniedtmac
2014-11-10 03:22 am UTC (link)
Ernie wanted to get some tea going but first he wanted to make sure that Theodore was calm and settled. He tried to focus on his friend, checking his awareness of what was around him and his reaction to any stimulus. He couldn't help the healer in him coming to the fore, but he tried to temper it with the man who'd come to care for Theodore as a friend, and maybe more.

"It's all right, I'm glad you came." That was the moment the oven decided to ring to announce the brownies were done. He groaned then winced as Theodore's voice changed and started speaking in something that sounded slavic (he'd heard some of the languages spoken by the boys from Durmstrang, one in particular...). Shkole sounded familiar, something about school?

He quickly ran for the kitchen and opened the oven, pulling out the pan and placing it on the stove-top to cool. He shut the whole thing off, making sure the alarm was definitely over with, before returning to the sofa and sitting down this time.

"Theo, I'm sorry about that. There won't be anymore noise from the kitchen, I swear. What were you saying? I don't speak that language." Please, talk to me.

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[info]nottfinished
2014-11-14 12:55 am UTC (link)
Theo had been looking at the corner of the room like something might emerge and come for him, but when Ernie re-entered and took a seat on the sofa he jumped again. He slid down off the couch with his eyes pinned to Ernie as though he was scared of him, inching slowly backwards until he was able to take some kind of refuge against the sofa arm, pressed bodily against it like he'd disappear into it if he could, his gaze unbroken but not really seeing. He was pale and shaking and then he turned his face away against the sofa arm and huddled in like he was bracing himself for an attack, a thin keening and then babbling - "Pas plus, pas plus , juste pour aujourd'hui pas plus , juste pour aujourd'hui papa se il vous plaît , pas plus" - in French, pleas that expected to fall on deaf ears, sounded more tired than anything else.

Theo whimpered again but quietened down as the smell of brownies, slinking in from the kitchen and now thick in the air hit him. It seemed to confuse Theo's already confused mind; that smell didn't belong in any of the nightmarish memories he had of his home, early childhood or school years, nothing about any sadistic punishment he'd received and it didn't really halt his panic but it did seem to quell the flashbacks. He looked up at Ernie and then to the wall, back again and then to the wall, seemingly agitated, chewing at the bed of his thumbnail until it bled. "Y-you need to paint over it." he said, almost rational as though the last minute hadn't happened.

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[info]erniedtmac
2014-11-14 03:31 am UTC (link)
The other language - this time French, which Ernie recognized from another particular boy from Beauxbatons, but still didn't know the meaning of the words.

"Paint over the wall?" he asked gently, having seen the way the other man looked between him and the wall. "How come? What's on the wall that needs painting, or do you not like yellow?"

Yes, that last was a small attempt at humour, but Ernie had to try. He recognized the disconnection with reality from years of experience in the ward and if he could break through somehow, then maybe he could help. At the least he wanted his Theodore back.

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[info]nottfinished
2014-11-14 04:16 pm UTC (link)
Theo turned his head to Ernie but he didn't take his eyes off the wall, moving his hand from his mouth only to run his fingers up into his hair and clutch in it, curled up to make himself as small a target as possible. "It hasn't helped." he said, in response to Ernie, but only just. "It hasn't helped, it needs another coat, can still hear it. Still hear the screaming through it." he cut himself off and rubbed at the side of his head like it hurt, and it probably did after all those potions and the tension he was holding himself under.

He shook his head and curled his fingers into his mess of hair again, the next noise from him a sob. "There's no point trying, there's no point in being good, it just happens anyway. He gets so angry." He hiccupped and leant against the couch, exhausted. He turned his head and looked up at Ernie, his face damp, wetly blinking a little. "I-I'm sorry, just... today, it..." he seemed confused about where he was but didn't move from his place on the floor. "...it's difficult." he ended, his irregular heartrate slow, drunk, his confusion tangible.

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[info]erniedtmac
2014-11-15 06:29 pm UTC (link)
Bloody hell, what had happened to Theodore to traumatize him like this? He gets angry. Ernie added that with the familiarity of the word papa that had been said before, as well as a few other clues over the last few weeks. In the end, it was all he could do not to go out to find Nott Sr and cast an Unforgivable on him. He tried to bank the rage that grew inside him and pushed it down, knowing it wouldn't help at a time like this. Theodore needed support, not an avenger.

He slowly moved himself from the sofa cushion to the floor, trying to meet Theodore where he was at. What in Merlin's name could he say? Screaming, 'it just happens anyway'... No wonder Theodore didn't trust easily. "Things can be difficult sometimes, it's all right when it happens. I promise, I have silencing spells up so you can't hear anything from the neighbours, and he won't get you here. He'd have to get through me first, and I fought in the Battle of Hogwarts."

He was a little at a loss, but in the end, the person who knew best what he needed was Theodore. "What can I do for you? What can I do to help? If you need me to just sit here, I can do that. If you want me to hold your hand or hold you, I'd love to do that too. You don't have to face this alone. Nothing you say can make me abandon you." He tried for a gentle, tentative smile. "Not even if you told me you were Frank from the book."

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[info]nottfinished
2014-11-15 08:08 pm UTC (link)
Theo's mind was trying to hang on to lucid thought but the potions and his terror and his own misfiring brain was making it difficult. He sank back against the sofa again when Ernie came down to his level, his hand moving down to anchor on his thigh and curl in there, his bad band still shaking. He tried listening to what Ernie was saying but it was so hard to hear with all that screaming bouncing off the wall and into his head, ricocheting in his skull.

He was panting to catch his breath, trying gamely to keep up with Ernie. "B-book, the book, I..." he looked confused, nothing coming back to him at all. "I didn't-" he shook his head and rubbed at it again with it aching. "Help? Help me, you want to, to help me?" he asked Ernie, grabbing hold of that thread and not letting go. "I don't want to go back." he said, hushed and then reaching out to grab hold of Ernie's sleeve, a distance still between them. "Let me stay, here, at school. Let me stay at school, please, for the summer, please, I don't, I don't want to go back." he begged, in his tone and his eyes and his behaviour, everything. He'd slipped again, for all his trying.

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[info]erniedtmac
2014-11-15 11:25 pm UTC (link)
Theodore sounded so young to Ernie's ears, but so lost as well. He had to do whatever he could to help his friend find his way back home. He took heart in the hand that grabbed onto his sleeve, hoping it was a sign that Theodore was trying to grab onto something to anchor him. Ernie would be that if he could.

"It's all right, you can stay." He placed his other hand next to Theodore's on his arm and used his finger to touch him, gently and tentatively. It was similar to Hallowe'en when he'd taken the risk and Theodore had responded. He hoped he did this time as well because all Ernie wanted was to hold him in his arms and hide him away from all this pain. "You never have to go back if you don't want to. Never."

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[info]nottfinished
2014-11-15 11:45 pm UTC (link)
Later on, once the potions had drained out of his system and the fireworks had silenced and his heartbeat had dropped back to it's usual abnormal off key tune Theo would be mortified, not only that he'd disturbed Ernie so thoroughly but also because he'd let slip some of the dark parts he'd wanted to keep inside. He'd never felt like this about anyone, not the sense of security he had, not the odd sensation of trust or the stability that Ernie made him feel and, most quiet of all in the deepest part of him, those little blooms of warmth that he cut and carried and cherished that were growing into something else entirely. Theo had never known anyone who made him feel a little better about the world when he thought about them and that alone frightened him a little, but it had condemned him now too.

He'd fled here out of his mind because even in the midst of whatever drug-induced breakdown he'd had Ernie had been a beacon, a dry dock for him, but at the same time this thing between them was so fragile and undefined that he would feel sure that he'd broken it. He didn't know who he'd been kidding when he thought he could hide the damaged parts from Ernie - telling him he had them was one thing but showing him even the edge of the septic mass of poisons locked away in his head was another altogether. He had to fight to stay around himself, who the hell else would stay around that? Should stay around that, even, especially Ernie who gave so much of himself that Theo had to wonder how much he had left in him in case he needed it.

Those thoughts would come later on. Right then, Theo's mind was in tatters and as much as he started at the touch of Ernie's hand against his arm he curled in towards Ernie when Ernie told him the little lie that whoever he was right then had needed to hear. He was trembling hard and hadn't really leant in against the other boy, not really. He had his arms around himself, trying to hold himself together, and he was biting his lip so hard it bled where he'd bitten at the skin there before. "Th-thank you." he stammered, shivering, pathetically grateful and holding still while Theo's mind paused itself for a moment, teetering on some edge between the past and present.

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[info]erniedtmac
2014-11-16 01:14 am UTC (link)
Ernie didn't know what was going on in Theodore's mind right now, but he almsot wished he knew legilimency so he could find out. Though he'd never invade his friend's thoughts like that, not without permission.

For a brief moment, Ernie worried he'd done the wrong thing when Theodore reacted to the touch, but then he moved closer. Ernie sighed in relief. Whatever was going on inside of Theodore, he at least recognized that Ernie was safe, and the significance of that wasn't lost on him. He only hoped he was worthy of it.

"You're welcome," he said softly. He lifted one arm onto the sofa cushion, moving around Theodore but not touching as if making a nest available that his friend could turn to if he so chose. His other hand moved up, taking a chance and brushing back some of Theodore's hair before gently touching his cheek. "I meant what I said. You're safe here. Nobody can hurt you when I'm here, all right? It's a promise."

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[info]nottfinished
2014-11-16 05:50 pm UTC (link)
Theo watched Ernie's arm move over the sofa but he didn't leap away. He cringed back when Ernie's lifted hand came towards him, but while he didn't lean into Ernie's hand he didn't move away any further when Ernie pushed his hair back, or touched his face. He didn't move his head but flicked his gaze over to the wall again in a wary, uneasy glance as Ernie reassured him of his safety, but he seemed to believe what his friend said, for now.

He was still shaking compulsively but how much of that was still fear and how much the potions was difficult to know. "Safe here." he said, more copying what Ernie had said than anything else, repeating it under his breath. "Safe, safe here, safe here, for now, safe for now-" he didn't seem convinced of this on the long term but stayed where he was nonetheless. His body leaned in towards the curve of Ernie's arm like some part of him wanted the comfort but he'd straighten back and hold himself away in the next moment, the most of him unable to let his guard down, at least anymore than it already was. He was twitchy and still looked like he wasn't quite aware of where he was or what was going on, scouting the room, his eyes skittering over everything until, finally, it landed on Ernie and stayed there. He still wasn't back but at least he was focusing now. "I.. I'm sorry to do this." he said, like he had at the beginning. "It's just, it's been a bad day." He didn't look like he was going to be able to hold it together much more and even then, vulnerable as he was, he put more trust in Ernie; he leaned in and semi-tucked himself into the crook of Ernie's elbow, the nesty nook Ernie had made there. "I'm sorry."

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[info]erniedtmac
2014-11-17 03:46 am UTC (link)
Ernie dropped his hand from Theodore's face after a moment of comfort, not knowing whether it did any help or harm, but at least Theodore didn't shy away from him. He ached for his friend, for the obvious inner battle that raged within him. His breath cought when, after a few moments of weaving, Theodore tucked into his arm. That one small gesture meant the world to him.

"Did you want to tell me about your bad day?" he asked gently. "It can help to talk about it. It's okay if you don't want to, though. Everything is okay in here. You don't have to apologize for anything, especially not for being you. I'll still like you in the morning."

It took all the strength he had not to wrap his arms around Theodore, and instead settled for looking at him, watching his face and hoping for something more.

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[info]nottfinished
2014-11-19 12:45 pm UTC (link)
Theo bit at his lip but stayed where he was, too exhausted and wrung out to move (and maybe a little of it was his trust in Ernie). He didn't think the apologies he'd given were enough, but then he didn't think he'd ever be able to apologise enough; there was something unhappy inside him that needed to beg and beg for forgiveness but he didn't know why or what for. He quenched that need, but he still felt terrible for imposing on Ernie like this.

He shook his head and brought his hands up over his head, curling into himself again but still nuzzled in against Ernie, so close to a cuddle. "It's so loud." he said fretfully. "The explosions and... the voices. The screaming. Telling me things that can't, can't be real but..." he shook his head again. "It's difficult to put them all straight. I can't shout as loud as they can right now." he tried to explain, and then, "I just, I don't know if I can do it. I can't be here... I don't want to be here when he comes." The lucidity was receding a little and he began to look worried again, gripping hold of Ernie's upper arm, firm but gentle. "We should, we should go, we should go, you can't be here when he gets home."

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[info]erniedtmac
2014-11-23 03:05 am UTC (link)
He wished he could tell Theodore that everything would be all right, but he couldn't lie to him. He didn't know if it would, but he could support his friend through it all. He brushed his fingers over Theo's hair again, lingers over Theodore's hands and patting them as if he could add some sort of protection or comfort, before settling it on his friend's shoulder.

"We're not at home, Theo, we're at my flat." He didn't know how many times he would have to say it before it got through, but he'd keep trying until it happened. "He's not coming here. He doesn't know where we are, so he can't find you here."

He leaned forward, pressing his forehead to the hands protecting Theodore's head. He sighed, but was determined to see this through. "I can't shut the voices out completely, but if you want to try to sleep, I've got some Dreamless Sleep you can have. It should keep them at bay until you wake up, and maybe we can work on getting better control then, all right?"

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[info]nottfinished
2014-11-24 01:40 pm UTC (link)
Theo let Ernie touch him, all those little not-holds that could have been more had Theo not had so many walls up, albeit put there in some failed attempt to keep himself protected. That hadn't worked, all he'd done was trap the poison inside those walls with him. He made fitful unhappy noises as Ernie tried to tell him reality while his mind kept trying to convince itself of a present that was now the past.

He grabbed at Ernie's suggestion with a desperation that showed how exhausted even one evening of this mind-fuckery had made him. "Yes, shut it off." he said immediately. "Please, shut it off, please." He begged, knowing that Dreamless sleep would stop all this confusion and explosion in his mind, desperate for silence.

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[info]erniedtmac
2014-11-25 07:09 pm UTC (link)
Ernie nodded. "All right. It's just in the drawer over there."

He didn't want to let go of Theodore, as if the moment he took his hands away, his friend would shatter, but he forced himself to do so. He slowly pulled his arms away, smoothing back Theodore's hair again before standing up. He went to the drawer to the left of the sofa and tapped it with his wand to open it, then looked inside at his own personal stash of potions. He picked out the Dreamless Sleep and closed the drawer, turning back toward Theodore.

"So, did you want the bed again? This should put you to sleep pretty quickly."

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[info]nottfinished
2014-11-25 10:42 pm UTC (link)
Theo trembled, shivers running through him like he'd been electrocuted and was still working it through his system, like he'd just been under Cruciatus. He managed to hold himself together when Ernie pulled away from him, but he noticed the lack of warmth at his side and burrowed against the sofa a little more, keening quietly under his breath at some new nightmare shadow that had flickered through his brain.

"No! No." he yelped and then pleaded, not quite connecting to what Ernie was really asking him and panicked at the mention of a bed. "I, I don't, I don't know." he stammered, quieter than before. He tugged at his hair and then let it go, leaning against the sofa arm looking wrung out. "Please." he begged; at that point he would have begged for a bullet to the brain just to make it stop, just for a minute.

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[info]erniedtmac
2014-11-26 05:06 am UTC (link)
"Hey, it's okay," Ernie said, moving to Theodore's side again and lowering down onto his knees. He reached out with his free hand to touch Theodore's, trying to reach through the inner demons to let him know he was back and right next to him. "You don't have to lay in the bed if you don't want to. You can sleep on the sofa, or on the floor even. I can make you a nest with some pillows and blankets."

He took the vial of Dreamless Sleep and slid it between Theodore's fingers, leaving the cork in as if to show that it hadn't been tampered with. "Just drink. I'll be here the whole time, and we'll wake up together in the morning."

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[info]nottfinished
2014-11-26 10:15 am UTC (link)
Theo jumped when Ernie touched him, but it wasn't away and it wasn't towards Ernie either, just startled that something from outside had reached into his unsteady reality. He didn't reach for Ernie again but he looked at him like he was the promise of death after hours of Crucio. He flicked the cork out of the vial he was handed with his thumb and swallowed the purple potion down almost desperately, like he'd have run into unconsciousness if he could have. He put the vial down with a sigh for air and then leaned in against the couch again with a sob.

"I don't want to go back." he said, gone somewhere again and barely there, but despite all that still sitting beside Ernie. The potion was making him groggy already though and he wavered, slumping forward drunkenly headfirst towards Ernie, blinking heavily. "The wolves are prowling. The wolves. Tearing at me." he tried to sit up but couldn't manage it, his eyes closing. "Teeth meeting in me." he mumbled.

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[info]erniedtmac
2014-11-26 11:24 pm UTC (link)
Ernie exhaled in relief when Theodore drank, thankful his friend wasn't resisting, in fact looked almost desperate for a few hours of blissful nothingness. He shifted to sit instead of kneeling and waited for the potion to take effect.

There was nothing he could say to comfort, nothing that could chase away the nightmarish visions inside Theodore's mind. He remained at his side, and when Theodore slumped toward him, Ernie caught him and kept him from falling.

"I've got you," he muttered, shifting Theodore in his arms, his friend's head falling onto his shoulder. "I'll protect you." He wrapped his arms around him, cradling him as if he could keep away the nightmares with the power of his own will. His cheek pressed against the top of Theodore's head and Ernie sighed, hoping that sleep would bring his friend some degree of peace.

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[info]nottfinished
2014-11-28 04:42 pm UTC (link)
Theo couldn't stop himself from lying in Ernie's arms but he felt comfortable there despite the close contact with another person and the way he was still twitching. His bad hand was trembling like he'd just gotten through the Crucio, even his muscle memory having nightmares.

He was slipping into a dark and thoughtless sleep, growing heavier against Ernie's chest as the potion took hold, but he still managed to find some speech. "Don't stay. Leave when he gets here. Leave me and go." he wanted to make Ernie promise but he didn't have the time as the potion dragged him down and he slipped away into what was a mercifully peaceful sleep.

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[info]erniedtmac
2014-12-01 04:50 pm UTC (link)
Ernie wouldn't have made the promise even if Theodore hadn't fallen asleep at that moment. He closed his eyes, thankful that at least Theodore would be free for the next few hours.

He would eventually levitate Theodore to the couch and settle him in with a pillow and some blankets, but for now, he felt an overpowering need to hold him and protect him. Maybe it wasn't just in Theodore's head and maybe there was someone that would be coming after him. Whatever the case, Ernie wouldn't leave his side unless he had to, and for now, that meant holding him and guarding his sleep.

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