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friendlyjustin ([info]friendlyjustin) wrote in [info]finnigans_rpg,
@ 2014-11-08 00:41:00

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Entry tags:character: justin finch-fletchley, character: wayne hopkins

Wayne and Justin
WHO: Justin and Wayne
WHEN: Saturday afternoon
WHERE: Cinema, then some dinner and maybe Justin's place?
WHAT: Just going out as friends.
RATING: R. Of course there will be swearing.
STATUS:


Justin sat down beside Wayne and grinned. This was going to be an amazing movie, he thought. He looked at his friend and wished Rhys could be there with them to see this, but maybe they could come back later? Or at least, maybe he could get the dvd to watch it with the kid. They seemed to be getting along and he wondered if he should ask Wayne about it.

"Hey," He started lamely. They'd been talking since they had met up at the cinema, but for some reason he was starting to feel uncomfortable about asking this to his friend. "How did Rhys like his Halloween?" He asked innocently enough. "Was it his first Halloween in our community?" He wasn't stupid, he was surrounded by Muggles, he couldn't really talk about magic there.



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[info]friendlyjustin
2014-11-08 07:18 am UTC (link)
"I remember enough." He repressed a shudder at the idea of being 8 again with all the pressure to be the best and the most perfect all the time. He ate some popcorn, burying those thoughts as deep as he could, not wanting Wayne to know about any of it.

"It was so much fun, we definitely should do it again." He said with a nod. "Maybe next time we get Hannah and Susan to come around, he'll probably have a blast with Suze. She's an Auror and everything. And have you taken him to the Leaky Cauldron yet?" He asked.

"Ah well, I wouldn't know if mine's better, I haven't seen yours." his eyebrow rose and he shifted on his seat, facing Wayne slightly. "How are you doing?" He asked. Wayne probably didn't to hear congratulations or something like it, but Justin wanted to know how his friend was handling this.

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[info]waynecymraeg
2014-11-08 07:41 am UTC (link)
"Fine," Wayne replied reflexively, and a little too soon. He cleared his throat to start again. "Okay," he told Justin. "I'm doing okay." Mostly coping with sleeping more, or talking to Dora, or working out.

"Maybe just not ready for a trip to the Leaky Cauldron quite yet. I don't think it's going anywhere. How old is it, anyway? Eight hundred or something?" Everything magical was old as hell.

"And you know, because I've told you, that my flat is a shithole. It's bad enough Rhys has to see it. I try and keep it neat, but...when you've got the place because of two bargains, there's not a lot of choosing you can do."

Wayne looked at Justin, knowing he'd changed the subject quickly. He hadn't even thought about it, it'd just...happened.

"I'm really doing okay. I have someone to talk to, now, who knows exactly what it's like. We're in the same boat. And I know you want to help, but, God help me, I'm glad you don't have to understand."

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[info]friendlyjustin
2014-11-08 08:18 am UTC (link)
Justin didn't quite believe Wayne when he said 'fine', but then he rectified by saying okay and he found it more believable. "I'm glad you found someone to help, you know." He said softly. "I do understand that it's okay if it's not me." Sometimes, he was afraid that Wayne might feel guilty for not keeping him into the loop more closely, but he understood that he was probably not the best help there could be.

"But please keep in mind that.. that if you.." He sighed and tilted his head. "If you need to ride it out, you can come over anytime, okay?" He still wanted to make sure that Wayne would know he could trust him and Justin would be there for him, not judgments on his part.

"I have extra rooms too, if you'd be interested." It would be better than living all alone.

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[info]waynecymraeg
2014-11-09 05:03 am UTC (link)
Wayne's heart warmed at Justin's kindness. He'd forgotten that people like Justin existed. There certainly weren't any people like him where Wayne had come from, and Dora...well, Dora was different.

Despite that, he still snorted a half-laugh at Justin's word choice. "Why Justin, if you wanted in my pants, all you had to do was ask." He rolled his eyes and tilted the popcorn bucket toward Justin, offering it.

Not that Wayne would be opposed to the idea, but...well...even if he weren't in recovery, (and relationships aren't encouraged in early stages of recovery), that wasn't something he wanted right now. He was pretty sure, anyway. Mostly sure.

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[info]friendlyjustin
2014-11-09 06:17 pm UTC (link)
Justin laughed and reached out for the popcorn. "Well, I didn't know you were open to the idea, so I had to ask!" He knew better than pout and remind Wayne that he was serious. His friend knew that his offer would stand no matter what and he smiled. "We both know I'm not exclusive with Seamus, barely anything is stopping us."

Yes, there was the recovery thing and it would definitely be a terrible idea to be in a relationship right now, but they were just talking about sex, weren't they? "Ah well, had I known back in the days.." He shifted and settled into his seat, chuckling while he had no idea why the heck he had said something like that.

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[info]waynecymraeg
2014-11-10 01:49 am UTC (link)
Wayne chuckled, still not buying that Justin and Seamus weren't in a relationship.

"Sorry to burst your little playing-the-field bubble, but friends who fuck?" he told Justin, "Friends who fuck - that's a relationship. Exclusive or not." And Wayne knew that there were people who could juggle more than one relationship at once, and knew it was a thing...it wasn't his thing.

Not that he was considering a relationship with Justin. Or sleeping with Justin. Much. It would just be...a bad idea. On like a zillion levels.

"Back in the day?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "Justin. My lovely musketeer. When did I ever give the impression I ruled anyone out?" Even as a teen, he'd been a tremendous flirt, even without realizing he was doing it. Especially when he was teasing and not looking for anything to come of his flirting. "Then again, at fourteen-fifteen I was probably so backed up I would've come in my pants at a really meaningful glance."

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[info]friendlyjustin
2014-11-10 03:26 am UTC (link)
Justin shook his head. "No, no, no." he said quickly. "I told you, it's not like that." He said, then sighed. "I'm never going to be able to change your mind." Justin might have had a few hopes that he and Seamus could be more, but Seamus didn't seem to want that so he was pretty sure he'd be fine trying to get closer to someone else.

"And we never really talked about it, you know." He said with a sigh. "I wasn't even sure it was okay to be gay back then, let alone tell one of my best mate I wished he'd crawl into bed with me." His cheeks flushed at the realization that he was talking about how he had felt about Wayne all these years and there was no backing out now. He cleared his throat and looked ahead, trying not to look at Wayne at all. "And besides, 5th Year was a busy year. With.. with Umbridge and the OWLs and.." He shrugged, trying to not let the whole discussion become some really heavy matter.

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[info]waynecymraeg
2014-11-10 03:36 am UTC (link)
Wayne slowly stopped chewing. Swallowed dryly. Didn't reach for the soda.

Justin what?

He...what?

Wayne's brain shorted out.

Was Justin talking about Wayne? Wayne was the friend he wanted to crawl in bed with, fifth year?

Something about Umbridge and OWLs, but his brain was still hung up on that...tiny detail about HIS FRIEND WANTING TO SLEEP WITH HIM IN FIFTH YEAR.

"Um."

Wayne was fairly certain he wouldn't have said no, back then.

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[info]friendlyjustin
2014-11-10 03:43 am UTC (link)
Justin opened the bag of candy and ate some of it, wishing the movie would just bloody start already. "No need to say anything. I shouldn't have told you." He said softly.

He hadn't meant for the evening to be ruined by his admission mostly because he had thought it would be okay. It had been years after. "We were kids. It was ages ago." He said.

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[info]waynecymraeg
2014-11-10 03:51 am UTC (link)
Wayne blinked, realizing he'd been staring.

"You complete clot," he told Justin, swatting him jokingly on the shoulder.

"You should've bloody said something, plonker. I would've said yes. You really have no idea the effect..." Did Justin not realize how fucking sexy he was? Or he had been, back then, to a queer boy his age?

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[info]friendlyjustin
2014-11-10 04:11 am UTC (link)
He refused to look at Wayne for a moment, then he shrugged. At this moment, it felt like it hadn't been such a long time after all. He could still feel the heartache of not having Wayne come back to school. He bit his lower lip.

"Like I said.. I was trying to figure out if it was okay to be gay at all.. or if it was okay to feel like that about you." He shrugged again. "It was a long time ago." Justin didn't question the last of Wayne's statement for a while, trying to compose himself.

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[info]waynecymraeg
2014-11-10 04:27 am UTC (link)
Wayne's brain sailed right over the "if it's okay to be gay" part of the statement because of course it was, and they both knew that...and instead landed square on "feeling like that about Wayne."

When he was that age, Wayne would've messed around with anyone who showed vague interest. In fact, he had. With multiple people. Most notably, Llinos. And that was one for the books, to be sure. But sloppy hand jobs and snogging in corners hadn't been foreign to him.

Not that he made a big deal of it. Not that he was that keen on discretion, but his partners had been, so he'd kept a lid on it. Well. Until Rhys.

"Well, yeah, it was a while back," Wayne reasoned, "and some things change, but." He cleared his throat, conscious that he should not be coming on to Justin.

"Well. You know." Not everything changes.

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[info]friendlyjustin
2014-11-10 04:47 am UTC (link)
Justin, blushing, looked at Wayne briefly. "Well, yeah." Things did change, but some things didn't. "It's like that for a lot of things. Some things change and some don't." He shrugged and looked again at Wayne.

"Yeah, I know." Justin knew that Wayne's life had changed pretty drastically and pouting about how things might have been if he had been able to tell Wayne how he felt back then would not change anything about it. "But hey, can't change the past, huh?"

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[info]waynecymraeg
2014-11-10 05:05 am UTC (link)
He only felt comfortable conversing with the popcorn, so he did. "Nope," Wayne agreed, not sure he'd want to change the past. Sure, things had got quite pear-shaped for a while, but the decisions he'd made were what led him to how things were now. And the way things were right now were pretty good.

Apart from the addiction issues and regular crime.

"We can only move forward," he continued, echoing something he'd heard from a million places. He was trying not to think about moving forward...with Justin.

He couldn't look at him. He didn't trust himself.

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[info]friendlyjustin
2014-11-10 05:17 am UTC (link)
Justin nodded, fishing into his bag for candy. "Forward it is." He answered as if he had been needing to make a decision right at the moment. It was as if Justin had been indecisive about how he felt, when really he knew. Wayne had been the love of his past and now he had Seamus.

Even though he kept telling everyone that it wasn't a relationship with Seamus, it didn't mean he didn't have feelings for him. No matter how loudly he claimed it wasn't anything serious with Seamus, it didn't change how he felt and he was only recently accepting it.

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[info]waynecymraeg
2014-11-10 05:39 am UTC (link)
Wayne took a moment before daring a glance at Justin, and just looking at him was enough to make him blush. Thank God the lights were low enough in the theatre to disguise him...he hoped.

Thinking back to their night a few weeks ago, when Wayne nearly drank the entire stock of beer, and, feeling warm and fuzzy, ruminated on how attractive Justin was. Not just because he was hot or sexy (though he was both), but he was genuinely attractive. Attractive in the sense of...Wayne couldn't help but feel drawn toward him.

He knew avoiding Justin wasn't going to be an option, at least for Wayne.

"We're okay, right?" he asked, nervously making eye contact with Justin for the first time since...probably the beginning of the conversation.

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[info]friendlyjustin
2014-11-10 05:47 am UTC (link)
Justin looked at Wayne and made eye contact with his mate for the first time in a while. "Yeah. Of course we're okay why wouldn't we be?" He asked because really, his admission was no longer valid and it wasn't like Wayne had rejected him.

After a few minutes, the movie started and he settled into his seat, biting his lower lip. Thank goodness, Justin thought, it was dark and Wayne wouldn't be able to see how uncomfortable he felt at this moment. He felt as if he had lied to Wayne, but couldn't understand why he felt that way since he was being truthful.

"We're really okay." He whispered to no one in particular. But am I? he asked himself.

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[info]waynecymraeg
2014-11-10 05:52 am UTC (link)
Naturally, the moment he wanted to be as unaware of Justin as possible, Wayne was hyper-tuned to him, hearing every breath, shift in his seat - he could nearly hear his heartbeat.

"You really should have told me," Wayne replied, having heard Justin's whisper.

"I really would have said yes." Wayne's empty hands couldn't stop fidgeting, fingers flexing and fists opening and closing. The popcorn bucket wasn't enough to keep his hands still.

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[info]friendlyjustin
2014-11-10 06:05 am UTC (link)
It was afternoon so the cinema wasn't as full as it could have been and both of them had decided on a spot where there were as few people as possible. Wayne's voice was soft, but not soft enough for him not to hear what he said next and it hit him too hard to say anything except a faint, "Don't.."

Wayne really didn't say that, had he? No.. no certainly not.

All these years ago he had managed to get through the heartache the first time, there was no way he could manage what was going on right now. Because above all, not only did he have a pit in his stomach, but he wondered why since he was clearly over Wayne now.

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[info]waynecymraeg
2014-11-10 06:09 am UTC (link)
Wayne took the cue, and didn't.

Instead, he wedged the popcorn bucket between them so they could share it, hoping he hadn't ruined everything for the night. God, he was such a clod. He never should have addressed it.

He wanted a drink, but had a coke, so he drank that instead.

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[info]friendlyjustin
2014-11-10 06:30 am UTC (link)
There was a tension that didn't quit until the movie was over. He hadn't been able to focus on the movie at all and was pretty sure that the tightness in his chest had very little to do with the really nice story in front of him.

Now he surely wished he wasn't so stupid about his own emotions. First he had noticed how he felt about Seamus only when he misinterpreted his attentions as being romantic and now.. Now Justin thought he was absolutely ridiculous because he had only wanted to come clean with Wayne and it had backfired.

"It was nice." He said as they made their way out. The air was a little cold and crisp as they walked to the nearby restaurant in silence.

"Wayne," He said as they sat across each other. "I'm sorry." Justin was calm, which was usually an indicator that things were getting serious a little. And if he couldn't have a serious conversation with one of his best mate, then maybe they were nearly as close as he thought they were.

And Justin hadn't let anyone this close to him in a long time, except for Susan, Hannah and Ernie.

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[info]waynecymraeg
2014-11-11 05:27 am UTC (link)
Wayne shifted, making himself comfortable in the seat across from Justin. He could still feel a bit of tension between them, but hopefully he hadn't mucked things up too badly.

"Justin," he sighed, "What on God's green earth do you have to be sorry for?" If anyone should be sorry, it was Wayne, though he wasn't quite sure how to articulate that either.

Wait.

Was this a date?

Was this a date, and that's why Justin was so glum? Because he thought Wayne had blown him off? Blown him OFF, not blown...oh for fuck's sake.

"I'm sorry I bugge--bugged you into talking about our school days. Everyone has crushes from their teens - hell, I had a crush on almost everyone at one point. But don't think that'll make me not be your mate, Justin."

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[info]friendlyjustin
2014-11-11 06:12 am UTC (link)
Sometimes, it seemed like 'I'm sorry' was Justin's default setting. He relaxed slightly and chewed his lower lip a little. "I hadn't really talked about it to anyone except.." He shrugged. "Ernie, Susan and Hannah." He winced, realizing that it sounded terrible that so many people knew, but to be fair though, it would have been hard to hide from those closest to him.

He didn't have the heart to tell Wayne that it had really been more than a matter of having a crush on anything with a pulse. Justin had never had feelings for anyone before Wayne and since then.. there was Seamus. "It's not just that. It's very complicated."

Justin looked at Wayne and gave him a small smile. He was very close to a few friends, but Wayne was special. There was an intensity between them that had made all these years apart disappear. "I missed you."

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[info]waynecymraeg
2014-11-11 05:28 pm UTC (link)
Wayne's heart swelled when he heard the people Justin had been able to talk to - it was great that he had so many people he could open up to without judgement. Wayne was glad Justin counted him in that group...that is, if he did. Wayne wasn't sure.

"Well, I'm always here to listen, now, too," he assured Justin. Even though they missed out on a wealth of shared life experiences, that wouldn't stop Wayne from empathizing.

"I missed you too, mate," he responded sincerely. And he had. Well - he had and hadn't. Wayne figured it was one of those things where you don't know what you're missing until you have it again.

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[info]friendlyjustin
2014-11-11 05:58 pm UTC (link)
Justin, before his brain could tell him that it was a terrible idea, reached out and took Wayne's hand. "Don't shut me out." He whispered, hoping Wayne would understand what he meant. After Wayne didn't come back, he had hoped his friend would at least contact them, but he hadn't.

He chewed on his lower lip, begging with his eyes for Wayne to please, please not to this again. "I will always be there for you and I wish.. I really want you to know that I never abandoned you." A tightness took his chest and his breath felt heavy and laborious.

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[info]waynecymraeg
2014-11-13 07:54 am UTC (link)
"Justin." Wayne breathed his mate's name in a sigh, and paused, not sure what to say, or how to say it.

He'd figure it out as he went.

"I didn't mean to abandon you," he confessed. "I just got...bogged down. But I'm not going anywhere this time. At least," he forced a chuckle, "not on purpose."

So much for attempting levity.

He had wronged Justin, though. It was a step.

"Please know that I'm not perfect." He laughed that time -- it was almost hilarious how obvious that statement was. "But I'm trying. I'm trying to make up for all the times I...was somewhere else. Amends."

Justin, he believed, would know.

"So don't go posting ads in the paper for new friends, kay? 'Cause I'm not going anywhere."

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