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Emma Swan ([info]swanemma) wrote in [info]expresslogs,
@ 2012-08-03 23:52:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:emma swan, {the huntsman

Characters: Emma Swan and the huntsman
When: Late Friday evening
Location: The Huntsman room
Warnings/Rating: None right now but will update this if it changes.
Summary: Emma is trying to get her mind off of almost seeing her father die today and went to one of the few people she trusts.
Status: closed and ongoing.




Emma had sworn off drinking, but when the group came back from their rescue mission, she found that she needed a drink more than anything. The thought of how she almost had the man who might be her father die wasn’t something she wanted to think about. How if he had died that Snow would be a complete mess and all that gave her a headache to where she needed a drink to calm her nerves. All she wanted to do was smack Prince Charming for being stupid enough to go off alone when he probably didn’t know what he was dealing with. Part of her wanted to go check up on him, but she didn’t need people questioning why she cared so much or anything like that. Deep down she knew that none of this was her fault; however, after everything going on in her life she figured it was part of her curse. People who she trusted or allowed to get close to her either tossed her aside or died. Lately the whole issue was people dying on her and the fact her father almost died made her feel like it was her fault. It was stupid, but she couldn’t help herself. This was her reason for avoiding people and keeping them at bay. Not to protect herself. No, it was to protect them.

Only right now she wanted to be with the huntsman because he knew who she was and she trusted him. Drowning another sip from the bottle she left it behind cause she wasn’t sure if she wanted him to know that she had been drinking even if her breath probably smelled like alcohol. Emma had even changed from her jeans and tank top that she went out in earlier and it was dirty, but she really wasn’t in the mood to deal with that shit right now. Moving down to the huntsman door, she thought about just walking in, but she knocked softly. Crossing her arms, she waited for him to open up as she rocked back and forth on the heels of her feet.


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[info]cryoverwildlife
2012-08-05 02:30 am UTC (link)
Once she was seated on the bed, he came and sat beside her. It was not a romantic gesture - he wasn't trying to seduce her. He just hated the way she was looking, so sad, so lost, so tense.

He brushed her hair off of her shoulder.

"I...I'm good at backrubs," he said with a half smile. That's why I wanted you to sit down. I can...I'd be glad to. If you want."

His eyes were gentle and full of emotion, but at the moment, it was gentle and innocent, not seductive or romantic.

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[info]swanemma
2012-08-05 03:08 am UTC (link)
If it had been any other guy trying this crap on her, Emma would have assumed it was them trying to get into her pants. With the huntsman, she really doubt that was his reason for the way he was acting or for what he was offering. Emma knew he was trying to watch out for her even when she didn’t want it or at least she kept telling him that she didn’t. He was the only one who cared about her and knew who she was that she didn’t have to quite lie to him.

Yes, she lied on some parts because she wanted him to see her as a good person, but he knew who her parents were. “No, you don’t need to do that. I’m fine,” she told him, shaking her head slightly as she moved so she had her feet on the ground while lying back on the bed. Moving her hands to pull the bottom of her shirt down to cover her stomach. As sweet as the offer was, she was back to even more thinking that she was one big walking curse and was starting to think about how maybe allowing people to touch her or get close to her was a bad idea. “I don’t get why he was so stupid in going off by himself. He doesn’t know what zombies are probably and he put his own life at risk by doing that,” she blurted out after a moment, turning her head to glance over at the huntsman. Was it fair that she kept making him the person that had to listen to her, the person whose room she kept crashing in, or the person that had some feelings for her when she wasn’t even sure what she wanted to do anymore? Probably not causing her to feel slightly guilty for it.

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[info]cryoverwildlife
2012-08-05 02:15 pm UTC (link)
"Your father is a brave and noble man, Emma. It isn't really surprising that he'd go out there, especially if maybe Snow had indicated she'd like to go out. Maybe he was just checking to see if it was safe. Like you said, he wouldn't know a thing about Zombies...wouldn't know their strength or how dangerous they are. And...he was shot, right? It might not have been a zombie at all. I wasn't aware of them being able to work guns."

He'd been Sheriff for long enough that his mind couldn't help wondering on the question. As far as he knew, Zombies weren't capable of using guns. So how had he been shot? Had it been a stray bullet? Heaven knew that there were enough people out there shooting them, and bullets could travel a long way. It was the way hunting accidents often happened. Or had someone seen the movement and fired out of fear, thinking he was a zombie? Or had it been something far more malicious than either of those things?

He shook his head, looking down at Emma.

"But he's going to be okay, and that's what matters, right?"

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[info]swanemma
2012-08-05 03:26 pm UTC (link)
“Yes, but he was in trouble with a bunch of zombies. I get that he didn’t know what they were so he really wasn’t sure, but common sense says that you go with someone when you don’t know what’s around,” she said. Okay, Emma was one to talk considering she kept going out on her own, but that wasn’t the point. She watched enough zombie movies to know a bit about what she was dealing with. “I get that he’s a brave and noble man, but at the same time he could have been a dead man cause he went off by himself,” she told him, sighing softly as she ran her fingers through her blonde hair.

Emma just kept thinking about what could have happened, how she might be a giant curse, and how she wanted to smack Prince Charming next time she saw him for being so stupid. Though a small smile came over her lips for a very brief moment when the huntsman looked down at her, moving up slightly to rest on her elbows. “I guess, but I don’t even know. I’m hoping he’ll be alright,” she told him, tilting her head back before looking over at him.

“I need to talk to you also. Have you told Snow about Storybrooke at all?” She didn’t need anyone connecting the dots to Graham being the huntsman. It was also a way for her to get off the topic of her father who was hurt in the medical section.

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[info]cryoverwildlife
2012-08-06 02:44 am UTC (link)
"Emma...I know this might sound a bit weird, but why don't you tell him who you are? I mean, he might believe it, right? The train is a strange place. Surely he's learned that by now. And...either way, it might make things easier for you."

He smiled at her, brushing a stray strand of hair out of her face, making the moment last as long as he could.

"No, I haven't. It was kind of...a lot to throw on her when I met her, so I haven't mentioned it to her yet. Why?"

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[info]swanemma
2012-08-06 04:08 am UTC (link)
Emma closed her eyes for a moment at his question, sucking on her bottom lip in thought before opening her eyes. “Because I don’t know if I want to tell them who I am. All I’m good at is getting people hurt who get to know me and I don’t need to get him hurt anymore then he has been hurt. Plus would you believe if a grown woman showed up on this train, said she was your child that you didn’t even realize you had yet, and that she’s older than you?” She asked him with a raised eyebrow. Hell, Emma knew it was true and still saw it as crazy.

A small smile came over her lips at him brushing a stray piece of her hair out of her face. He really was a good guy something she wasn’t used to having in her life. “They asked me a question and I didn’t need weird questions showing up from it so I said Graham instead of the huntsman to the answer,” she told him with a small smile, hoping that he didn’t mind that she used his Storybrooke name.

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[info]cryoverwildlife
2012-08-06 04:25 am UTC (link)
"But perhaps here is a better place than some to do that? I mean, surely they've seen the network, and seen the strange things that can happen here. You're not the only one here with parents younger than you. Just an idea, but..."

He sighed.

"Emma...the things that happen to you, they're not your fault. You need to realize that. It wasn't your fault that I died, or your fault that Henry ate that turnover. It was Regina's, in both cases. Don't blame yourself for things that aren't your fault."

He cocked an eyebrow, curious as to why they had been talking about him at all.

"What question did she ask?"

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[info]swanemma
2012-08-06 04:41 am UTC (link)
“I don’t know. Maybe it’s just easier on them to not know about me or about what ends up happening,” she said softly. Emma had been weighing her options since the day Prince Charming showed up on the train, but she wasn’t sure whether it was a wise idea or not. Every time she thought it would be a good idea, something caused her to rethink the whole thing. “Yes, but I’m sure those people weren’t sure whether they wanted to come clean about them being related,” then again maybe she was wrong and it was just her.

Emma shook her head, “It wasn’t just you two. I lost you, August, and Henry and that’s just the people you know or people in Storybrooke. I trust people or get close to them and either they bail on me or something happens to them cause they knew me.” That was what she believed because she was convinced that she was a walking curse. Maybe it was crazy, but she believed it the more stuff that happened in her life.

She should have known that question would pop up and she wasn’t even sure how to answer that. What would he say to the question being about some person that she cared about? Would he freak, be happy, or think it was weird? “They were asking me questions about me and….Do you really want to know?”

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[info]cryoverwildlife
2012-08-06 04:48 am UTC (link)
As he listened to her words, her fear hit him almost as if it had been his own. His eyes filled with tears and he took her hand, but he said nothing at the moment. The words Lady Belle had told him came to his mind, and he grabbed at them.

Stay. That was how you convinced a girl like Emma that you cared, one so full of fear, one who was afraid that she would lose everyone she ever cared about. You stay.

"I'm not going anywhere, Emma. I'm here, with you, and I'm not going anywhere."

He knew it would take time for her to believe that, but unless the train sent him back to Storybrooke, he wouldn't be leaving her side any time soon.

"Might as well tell me," he said with shrug. "No point in keeping secrets, is there?"

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[info]swanemma
2012-08-06 05:04 am UTC (link)
All she wanted was people to care about her even if she acted like she didn’t but Emma found that it was all wishful thinking. People only cared about themselves and it was pointless to expect people to care about her. That was why she kept herself closed off, guarded, and never allowing people in cause it got her hurt in the end.

Emma knew he was trying to be sweet or try to get her to believe that she wasn’t cursed, but she didn’t believe him. How many times did she hear that saying before? Plenty of times. Then they always left her causing her unable to believe that sentence when he said it t her. “For now,” she said softy because she really didn’t believe when people said that to her anymore. She wasn’t trying to be mean, but she was being honest.

A sigh left her lips as she pulled her hand out of his, lying back to look up as she spoke about the question. It was weird for her to be honest, but she figured she might as well be. “They asked if I cared about anyone and if they were on the train,” she told him, looking up instead of at him.

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[info]cryoverwildlife
2012-08-06 05:09 am UTC (link)
Those two words cut him deeply, but he did not comment. It would have to be something he showed her, rather than something he said. It was like Belle had told him, he would simply have to be there - not go anywhere. And he swore to himself for the thousandth time that that was exactly what was going to happen. But he would not repeat words that meant nothing to Emma.

When she confessed to him the question that she had answered with his name, he just stared at her for a moment in shocked silence. Sure, sure, he knew that they had kissed in the station that terrible night, and that at that time he had felt that she might have something in her heart for him. But to have it confirmed by her in words...that was something different entirely.

He lay on his back on the bed beside her, staring up at the ceiling himself, his hands crossed on his chest.

"Yeah," he said simply. "I feel the same."

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[info]swanemma
2012-08-06 05:26 am UTC (link)
Emma figured it hurt him to hear her say that, but she wasn’t going to pretend to believe it when she didn’t. So many people lied to her and she lied to people causing her have a hard time with believing things like being around for her. Maybe he would prove her wrong or he would be like everyone else, but she wasn’t going to hold her breath.

She could feel his eyes on her and that made her even more glad that she went with looking up instead of at him. Emma wasn’t quite sure if she felt something for him considering the night she wanted to see had ended badly, but the kiss they shared while on the train had her realizing that maybe she did feel something for him. August had started to become someone she also started to trust, but the huntsman was a different feeling and the first person she found herself thinking about letting her guard down with.

When he said how he felt the same, she turned her head slightly with a confused look, “Really?” Part of her wanted to ask why considering he was a good guy where she wasn’t a good person, but she didn’t feel like arguing over that again. “I didn’t want to say the huntsman cause that would bring up so many questions causing me to go with your other name,” she told him trying to figure out how she felt about him saying that he felt the same way.

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[info]cryoverwildlife
2012-08-06 02:36 pm UTC (link)
"Yeah, of course I do," he said with a shrug of his shoulders, still looking at the ceiling. "I don't go around just kissing people, you know."

Turning his eyes to her finally, he just looked at her for a moment.

"But it's okay. We don't have to do anything. I know things are hard for you right now, and that you need your space, and that you're probably not in the mood for any sort of...anything. So...yeah. Just telling you to tell you, really."

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[info]swanemma
2012-08-06 03:00 pm UTC (link)
“And here I thought you were a kissing man whore,” she teased him with a small smile. That was the first smile she had all night since she read the message on the net about Prince Charming in trouble. “Doesn’t always mean you feel something cause you kiss a person so I don’t know,” she told him.

Emma sighed softly at him saying they didn’t have to do anything, but part of her wanted to have something with him. Another part of her though was saying to stay far away from him before he got hurt again. “Things are always hard for me, but I suck it up and move on. I don’t know what I want like I keep telling you,” and she really didn’t since she never really thought about it. “Maybe we should take it slow and see what happens. I don’t want to see you get hurt or anything cause you wanted to get close to me,” she told him softly, turning on her side to look at him.

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[info]cryoverwildlife
2012-08-06 03:23 pm UTC (link)
"We can do whatever you like," he said with a shrug, rolling on his side to face her, too. "I'm not going anywhere, but if you need some time to accept that, that's fine. I know things are hard for you right now, and I don't want to push anything on you. I don't want you to feel obligated, or anything like that."

He shuddered. He certainly didn't want that, after all that Regina had done to him.

"Why don't we just...let things happen as they will, and go from there."

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[info]swanemma
2012-08-06 03:44 pm UTC (link)
“Whatever I like?” She asked with a sigh as she studied his face for a moment. Emma did have some feelings for him, but her worries screamed louder than her feelings. What if her feelings for him ended up with him dead again? Or what if he did bail on her like everyone did? Emma wasn’t sure if she could take anymore people walking out on her. “Lets take it slow and see what happens, okay? I know you are being serious with the whole not going anywhere, but I think actions prove louder than words,” she told him. So many people told her that just for none of them to stick around.

Emma nodded as his idea because maybe it was for the best right now. “I think that idea works. Just take it slow and see what happens,” she moved to rest her head down on her arms, turning once again so she was now lying on her stomach with her head turned towards him. “Is that what you want?”

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[info]cryoverwildlife
2012-08-06 04:07 pm UTC (link)
"They do," he said softly, agreeing with her on that point. "But you know that I've never left you through any choice of mine."

He knew that it wouldn't help, but he felt the need to say it, anyway.

"And yes, that's what I want."

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[info]swanemma
2012-08-07 05:20 am UTC (link)
Emma sighed because she knew that, but it still hurt to have lost him even when it wasn’t his fault. “I know it wasn’t, but that whole thing you just said is something I’ve heard before. It’s to the point where I don’t believe people when they say it,” she told him honestly. If it had been anyone else, she would have made up something but she figured being honest was the best bet right now.

Leaning over, she placed a soft kiss to his forehead before moving back to her side. “Have you gone outside yet?” Emma had a feeling that he had, but she was hoping he didn’t go alone or anything. She watched so many zombies movies that to her this was just a big ball of fun; however, she figured he was like Prince Charming in that he had no idea what these things were.

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[info]cryoverwildlife
2012-08-07 02:23 pm UTC (link)
"Yes, I have," he said, ignoring the rest of it for the moment. "I escorted Lady Belle when she needed some air. We didn't encounter any of the creatures, though. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I kind of would have liked to see them, but in another way, I'm glad that I didn't have to fight them, and that the Lady faced no danger."

He turned to look at her.

"Have you been out?"

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[info]swanemma
2012-08-07 03:14 pm UTC (link)
Emma really wasn’t that shocked about him going out considering he had been going slightly crazy while stuck on a train. He needed to get off this stupid train like she needed it. Only she found part of herself not enjoying the fact he went outside in this. Not cause he didn’t know how to take care of himself because she knew he could but more the fact he probably wasn’t even sure of what to make of the things outside. “You want to see them? Do you even know how to kill them?” She asked with a smirk before shaking her head, “Yeah, they are a little fast so probably a little better if you don’t need to fight them when trying to protect someone.”

Then again Emma was probably one to talk considering she kept going out to kill some for the target practice. They were helping with her emotions as she thought of them as every single person who she really didn’t like. “Yeah, quite a few times,” she left off the part how a few times it was by herself or how she caught up with someone while out killing the things. Emma had a feeling he wouldn’t have liked knowing she was off by herself even if she could take care of herself.

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[info]cryoverwildlife
2012-08-07 03:57 pm UTC (link)
He couldn't really say that he liked the idea of her going out among the zombies. It made him feel...rather protective, actually. Which didn't really surprise him, considering how he felt about her in general. Still, he couldn't hide the little frown that crossed his lips at the thought.

"Is there a special way to kill them? Chop off their heads, I suppose?"

After all, he had seen a zombie movie or two in Storybrooke.

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[info]swanemma
2012-08-07 04:27 pm UTC (link)
Emma saw the frown and it didn’t really surprise her. She figured he wasn’t going to like the idea of her going outside, but she didn’t think it would be because he liked her. Then again she didn’t like people feeling like she couldn’t take care of herself and he was needed more for the people that couldn’t. Emma hadn’t met this other girl who seemed to be from fairy tale world, but she figured maybe fighting wasn’t her thing. Fighting was what Emma grew up on causing her able to hold her own. “Why the frown?” She found herself asking without much thought.

To say she was a little surprised that he knew that would have been a lie, but she hid the surprise. He didn’t seem the type that knew that and only reason she did was all the horror movies she watched on her nights alone when she wasn’t on some job back in her apartment before Henry showed up. “Pretty much damage to the head is the way to kill them. Bullet in the head, cutting and smashing the head in, and things like that anything to destroy the head is the way to go,” Emma really needed to watch movies that didn’t have zombies in them.

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[info]cryoverwildlife
2012-08-07 08:06 pm UTC (link)
"I don't like the idea of you putting yourself at risk like that," he said with a shrug. "You could have at least messaged me or something. I mean, it would have been better than going alone. Unless you went with someone else?"

Half of him hoped that she had, while the other half bristled at the very idea.

"Yeah, that's what I thought. We do have movies in Storybrooke, you know."

He grinned a little, and winked at her playfully.

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[info]swanemma
2012-08-07 10:35 pm UTC (link)
Emma sighed at his comment since she had a feeling that she would get that even if she was hoping that he kept it to himself. “You should know I can take care of myself,” she commented before moving to sit up and look down at him. “I could have, but I don’t need a babysitter. I get that you don’t want anything happening to me and at the same time I’m good at watching my own back,” she ignored the question about going with someone else for a few moments. Did it really matter? “A few times I went out with other people, other times I went out alone and ended up meeting with someone,” and she left out the few times that she was out on her own.

Right now she didn’t need him lecturing her or something about going out alone. Emma could take care of herself and zombies weren’t a huge deal. Though she smirked at his comment and wink. “Really? See I would never have guessed you watched movies. Like I said I took you for the eating doughnuts all day, drinking all night, and playing darts at Granny’s while avoiding work,” she smiled to show that she was kidding.

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[info]cryoverwildlife
2012-08-07 10:44 pm UTC (link)
"Hey now, I never avoided work," he said with a grin. "Not my fault Storybrooke didn't have much crime before you showed up. Then I heard the Sheriff even had to hire a deputy."

He grinned at her with a warm smile.

"Wanna get something to eat?"

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[info]swanemma
2012-08-07 11:06 pm UTC (link)
“That isn’t what I heard,” she told him with a small shrug before shaking her head as she kept a serious face for a moment like maybe people had been really saying it. After a moment though, she loved at the whole idea. “I know how to shake up a place when I come to town, that’s for sure,” she said with a small laugh. “Between being arrested, cutting down some of Regina’s apple tree, pissing her off, and so much more I’m surprised she didn’t try to have me thrown out of town,” she commented with a small laugh. “He only hired a deputy so he could give her all the work and give him more time with his dart game.” He was going to give her a hard time about how many times he had to arrest her then she was going to make her jokes.

It was nice to joke with him and this was why she kept coming here because he could cheer her up whether he knew it or not. “Sure we can go do that,” she said with a nod before moving from his bed to stand up.

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