InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "...Then you mean it."

Emma Swan (swanemma) wrote in expresslogs,
@ 2012-08-03 23:52:00

Entry tags:

emma swan, {the huntsman

Characters: Emma Swan and the huntsman
When: Late Friday evening
Location: The Huntsman room
Warnings/Rating: None right now but will update this if it changes.
Summary: Emma is trying to get her mind off of almost seeing her father die today and went to one of the few people she trusts.
Status: closed and ongoing.

Emma had sworn off drinking, but when the group came back from their rescue mission, she found that she needed a drink more than anything. The thought of how she almost had the man who might be her father die wasn’t something she wanted to think about. How if he had died that Snow would be a complete mess and all that gave her a headache to where she needed a drink to calm her nerves. All she wanted to do was smack Prince Charming for being stupid enough to go off alone when he probably didn’t know what he was dealing with. Part of her wanted to go check up on him, but she didn’t need people questioning why she cared so much or anything like that. Deep down she knew that none of this was her fault; however, after everything going on in her life she figured it was part of her curse. People who she trusted or allowed to get close to her either tossed her aside or died. Lately the whole issue was people dying on her and the fact her father almost died made her feel like it was her fault. It was stupid, but she couldn’t help herself. This was her reason for avoiding people and keeping them at bay. Not to protect herself. No, it was to protect them.

Only right now she wanted to be with the huntsman because he knew who she was and she trusted him. Drowning another sip from the bottle she left it behind cause she wasn’t sure if she wanted him to know that she had been drinking even if her breath probably smelled like alcohol. Emma had even changed from her jeans and tank top that she went out in earlier and it was dirty, but she really wasn’t in the mood to deal with that shit right now. Moving down to the huntsman door, she thought about just walking in, but she knocked softly. Crossing her arms, she waited for him to open up as she rocked back and forth on the heels of her feet.

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cryoverwildlife
2012-08-06 05:09 am UTC (link)

Those two words cut him deeply, but he did not comment. It would have to be something he showed her, rather than something he said. It was like Belle had told him, he would simply have to be there - not go anywhere. And he swore to himself for the thousandth time that that was exactly what was going to happen. But he would not repeat words that meant nothing to Emma.

When she confessed to him the question that she had answered with his name, he just stared at her for a moment in shocked silence. Sure, sure, he knew that they had kissed in the station that terrible night, and that at that time he had felt that she might have something in her heart for him. But to have it confirmed by her in words...that was something different entirely.

He lay on his back on the bed beside her, staring up at the ceiling himself, his hands crossed on his chest.

"Yeah," he said simply. "I feel the same."

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swanemma
2012-08-06 05:26 am UTC (link)

Emma figured it hurt him to hear her say that, but she wasn’t going to pretend to believe it when she didn’t. So many people lied to her and she lied to people causing her have a hard time with believing things like being around for her. Maybe he would prove her wrong or he would be like everyone else, but she wasn’t going to hold her breath.

She could feel his eyes on her and that made her even more glad that she went with looking up instead of at him. Emma wasn’t quite sure if she felt something for him considering the night she wanted to see had ended badly, but the kiss they shared while on the train had her realizing that maybe she did feel something for him. August had started to become someone she also started to trust, but the huntsman was a different feeling and the first person she found herself thinking about letting her guard down with.

When he said how he felt the same, she turned her head slightly with a confused look, “Really?” Part of her wanted to ask why considering he was a good guy where she wasn’t a good person, but she didn’t feel like arguing over that again. “I didn’t want to say the huntsman cause that would bring up so many questions causing me to go with your other name,” she told him trying to figure out how she felt about him saying that he felt the same way.

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cryoverwildlife
2012-08-06 02:36 pm UTC (link)

"Yeah, of course I do," he said with a shrug of his shoulders, still looking at the ceiling. "I don't go around just kissing people, you know."

Turning his eyes to her finally, he just looked at her for a moment.

"But it's okay. We don't have to do anything. I know things are hard for you right now, and that you need your space, and that you're probably not in the mood for any sort of...anything. So...yeah. Just telling you to tell you, really."

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swanemma
2012-08-06 03:00 pm UTC (link)

“And here I thought you were a kissing man whore,” she teased him with a small smile. That was the first smile she had all night since she read the message on the net about Prince Charming in trouble. “Doesn’t always mean you feel something cause you kiss a person so I don’t know,” she told him.

Emma sighed softly at him saying they didn’t have to do anything, but part of her wanted to have something with him. Another part of her though was saying to stay far away from him before he got hurt again. “Things are always hard for me, but I suck it up and move on. I don’t know what I want like I keep telling you,” and she really didn’t since she never really thought about it. “Maybe we should take it slow and see what happens. I don’t want to see you get hurt or anything cause you wanted to get close to me,” she told him softly, turning on her side to look at him.

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cryoverwildlife
2012-08-06 03:23 pm UTC (link)

"We can do whatever you like," he said with a shrug, rolling on his side to face her, too. "I'm not going anywhere, but if you need some time to accept that, that's fine. I know things are hard for you right now, and I don't want to push anything on you. I don't want you to feel obligated, or anything like that."

He shuddered. He certainly didn't want that, after all that Regina had done to him.

"Why don't we just...let things happen as they will, and go from there."

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swanemma
2012-08-06 03:44 pm UTC (link)

“Whatever I like?” She asked with a sigh as she studied his face for a moment. Emma did have some feelings for him, but her worries screamed louder than her feelings. What if her feelings for him ended up with him dead again? Or what if he did bail on her like everyone did? Emma wasn’t sure if she could take anymore people walking out on her. “Lets take it slow and see what happens, okay? I know you are being serious with the whole not going anywhere, but I think actions prove louder than words,” she told him. So many people told her that just for none of them to stick around.

Emma nodded as his idea because maybe it was for the best right now. “I think that idea works. Just take it slow and see what happens,” she moved to rest her head down on her arms, turning once again so she was now lying on her stomach with her head turned towards him. “Is that what you want?”

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	cryoverwildlife 2012-08-06 04:07 pm UTC (link)
	"They do," he said softly, agreeing with her on that point. "But you know that I've never left you through any choice of mine." He knew that it wouldn't help, but he felt the need to say it, anyway. "And yes, that's what I want." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

swanemma
2012-08-07 05:20 am UTC (link)

Emma sighed because she knew that, but it still hurt to have lost him even when it wasn’t his fault. “I know it wasn’t, but that whole thing you just said is something I’ve heard before. It’s to the point where I don’t believe people when they say it,” she told him honestly. If it had been anyone else, she would have made up something but she figured being honest was the best bet right now.

Leaning over, she placed a soft kiss to his forehead before moving back to her side. “Have you gone outside yet?” Emma had a feeling that he had, but she was hoping he didn’t go alone or anything. She watched so many zombies movies that to her this was just a big ball of fun; however, she figured he was like Prince Charming in that he had no idea what these things were.

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cryoverwildlife
2012-08-07 02:23 pm UTC (link)

"Yes, I have," he said, ignoring the rest of it for the moment. "I escorted Lady Belle when she needed some air. We didn't encounter any of the creatures, though. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I kind of would have liked to see them, but in another way, I'm glad that I didn't have to fight them, and that the Lady faced no danger."

He turned to look at her.

"Have you been out?"

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swanemma
2012-08-07 03:14 pm UTC (link)

Emma really wasn’t that shocked about him going out considering he had been going slightly crazy while stuck on a train. He needed to get off this stupid train like she needed it. Only she found part of herself not enjoying the fact he went outside in this. Not cause he didn’t know how to take care of himself because she knew he could but more the fact he probably wasn’t even sure of what to make of the things outside. “You want to see them? Do you even know how to kill them?” She asked with a smirk before shaking her head, “Yeah, they are a little fast so probably a little better if you don’t need to fight them when trying to protect someone.”

Then again Emma was probably one to talk considering she kept going out to kill some for the target practice. They were helping with her emotions as she thought of them as every single person who she really didn’t like. “Yeah, quite a few times,” she left off the part how a few times it was by herself or how she caught up with someone while out killing the things. Emma had a feeling he wouldn’t have liked knowing she was off by herself even if she could take care of herself.

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cryoverwildlife
2012-08-07 03:57 pm UTC (link)

He couldn't really say that he liked the idea of her going out among the zombies. It made him feel...rather protective, actually. Which didn't really surprise him, considering how he felt about her in general. Still, he couldn't hide the little frown that crossed his lips at the thought.

"Is there a special way to kill them? Chop off their heads, I suppose?"

After all, he had seen a zombie movie or two in Storybrooke.

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swanemma
2012-08-07 04:27 pm UTC (link)

Emma saw the frown and it didn’t really surprise her. She figured he wasn’t going to like the idea of her going outside, but she didn’t think it would be because he liked her. Then again she didn’t like people feeling like she couldn’t take care of herself and he was needed more for the people that couldn’t. Emma hadn’t met this other girl who seemed to be from fairy tale world, but she figured maybe fighting wasn’t her thing. Fighting was what Emma grew up on causing her able to hold her own. “Why the frown?” She found herself asking without much thought.

To say she was a little surprised that he knew that would have been a lie, but she hid the surprise. He didn’t seem the type that knew that and only reason she did was all the horror movies she watched on her nights alone when she wasn’t on some job back in her apartment before Henry showed up. “Pretty much damage to the head is the way to kill them. Bullet in the head, cutting and smashing the head in, and things like that anything to destroy the head is the way to go,” Emma really needed to watch movies that didn’t have zombies in them.

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cryoverwildlife
2012-08-07 08:06 pm UTC (link)

"I don't like the idea of you putting yourself at risk like that," he said with a shrug. "You could have at least messaged me or something. I mean, it would have been better than going alone. Unless you went with someone else?"

Half of him hoped that she had, while the other half bristled at the very idea.

"Yeah, that's what I thought. We do have movies in Storybrooke, you know."

He grinned a little, and winked at her playfully.

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swanemma
2012-08-07 10:35 pm UTC (link)

Emma sighed at his comment since she had a feeling that she would get that even if she was hoping that he kept it to himself. “You should know I can take care of myself,” she commented before moving to sit up and look down at him. “I could have, but I don’t need a babysitter. I get that you don’t want anything happening to me and at the same time I’m good at watching my own back,” she ignored the question about going with someone else for a few moments. Did it really matter? “A few times I went out with other people, other times I went out alone and ended up meeting with someone,” and she left out the few times that she was out on her own.

Right now she didn’t need him lecturing her or something about going out alone. Emma could take care of herself and zombies weren’t a huge deal. Though she smirked at his comment and wink. “Really? See I would never have guessed you watched movies. Like I said I took you for the eating doughnuts all day, drinking all night, and playing darts at Granny’s while avoiding work,” she smiled to show that she was kidding.

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	cryoverwildlife 2012-08-07 10:44 pm UTC (link)
	"Hey now, I never avoided work," he said with a grin. "Not my fault Storybrooke didn't have much crime before you showed up. Then I heard the Sheriff even had to hire a deputy." He grinned at her with a warm smile. "Wanna get something to eat?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

swanemma
2012-08-07 11:06 pm UTC (link)

“That isn’t what I heard,” she told him with a small shrug before shaking her head as she kept a serious face for a moment like maybe people had been really saying it. After a moment though, she loved at the whole idea. “I know how to shake up a place when I come to town, that’s for sure,” she said with a small laugh. “Between being arrested, cutting down some of Regina’s apple tree, pissing her off, and so much more I’m surprised she didn’t try to have me thrown out of town,” she commented with a small laugh. “He only hired a deputy so he could give her all the work and give him more time with his dart game.” He was going to give her a hard time about how many times he had to arrest her then she was going to make her jokes.

It was nice to joke with him and this was why she kept coming here because he could cheer her up whether he knew it or not. “Sure we can go do that,” she said with a nod before moving from his bed to stand up.

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