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The Huntsman ([info]cryoverwildlife) wrote in [info]expresslogs,
@ 2012-07-19 18:48:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:emma swan, {the huntsman

WHO: Emma Swan and the Huntsman
WHAT: Drinking, talking, etc.
WHEN: Thursday afernoon
WHERE: The Huntsman's Room (F506-B)
WARNINGS: None expected, will update if necessary
STATUS: Closed, ongoing

Having spent most of the day in his room, watching the never-ending expanse of cows outside the window had been starting to wear on his nerves. He wasn't used to being trapped in such a confined space - not in his life before Storybrooke, or as Sheriff. Not even the Queen's castle, and his imprisonment there as a guard had been so physically restrictive.

He could have left his room of course, wandered the train, risked running into Regina, or one of the other people on the train who thought he was certifiable. Hell, he would have thought so himself if he'd been on the listening side of his story. Or even worse, he could have run into one of the witches that were swarming this train. He'd never seemed to have good luck with witches, and was quite alright with ignoring magic all together.

So he'd sent a message to Emma - one of the few people on the train he was perfectly okay with seeing (who he, in fact, very much wanted to see), and much to his delight, she'd been willing to come over and have a drink. She needed it. He needed it. And it would hopefully get his mind off of things for at least the length of his intoxication, even though he might regret it in the morning.

Of course, he was being dishonest if he claimed he just needed a drink and a drinking buddy. His feelings for Emma hadn't changed since the day he'd kissed her in the station, even if things likely had for her. And the kiss he had given her in her room the day she'd arrived here had proven his feelings to himself. Maybe it wasn't the 'kiss of true love,' but this was the real world, and true love didn't just happen. You had to work for it. And in this world, Happy Endings rarely happened. Who knew who else she'd met in town, who'd caught her fancy in the months since he'd been gone. Even if they'd had more than a stolen kiss, he'd not have expected her to stay single, not a pretty girl like her. Not now that he was gone forever.

But the train...this was his chance. His chance to see if something could maybe have happened. And if the train brought Henry here...maybe she wouldn't even want to leave. Maybe this train could be his happy ending...

He'd straightened his room (it wasn't like he had enough with him to really get it messy in the first place), and was standing with his hands in the pockets of his dark jeans as he looked out the window at the cows, Wolf at his side, waiting for her to arrive.


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[info]swanemma
2012-07-19 11:48 pm UTC (link)
The whole stuck on a train was driving Emma slightly mad. Staying in one place for a long period of time was not her cup of tea, she enjoyed moving around or having it where she could pick up and move without much though. Emma didn’t get connected to people or keep much in terms of important stuff just in case she had to move quickly. A box was all she ever needed. Only reason she stayed in Storybrooke was because Regina had told her to leave, which that alone caused her to stick around. Now she was stuck on a train with no way to get off and she was losing her mind.

Emma had resulted to drinking as a way to deal with all her emotions because easier to not think about how she might feel about the huntsman or about Henry when she had alcohol in her system. The message from the huntsman caused her to smile even more so when he said about her lovely self. She figured it might be a bad idea to go to his room when she was unsure how she felt about him and where they would be drinking. Emma was going to need to remember to keep herself in check. After he passed away, she buried herself in things to keep herself busy so she didn’t think about how she had started to feel something for him. Then August came to town and where she was unsure of him, she found the man to be good looking. Only Emma wasn’t looking for a relationship when she didn’t need that connection. With Graham, she wanted to maybe see where things would go but after losing him, she figured being single was for the best. All those feelings came rushing back with that kiss he gave her the night she arrived on the train causing her to become even more of a wreck, especially with knowing what really happened to him.

Leaving her room, she went in search for a few bottles of alcohol for them to share. After about ten minutes, she made her way down to his door with the plans of getting herself drunk even if she would end up with a headache from hell come morning. Standing near his door, she thought about heading back to her room and coming up with an excuse as to why she wasn’t coming, but she knew that wasn’t right. Emma was great at keeping her walls up, hiding her feelings, and keeping herself safe so she could do this, right? On the other hand, she wanted to see if maybe she could be happy for once without Regina screwing it all up. After a moment, she knocked on the door with her knuckles as she held two different types of alcohol in her hands. “You’re moving slower than a princess probably does,” she called through the door with a teasing tone. Emma wasn’t even sure if princesses in fairy tale world were slow, but she couldn’t help herself with the comment.

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[info]cryoverwildlife
2012-07-20 12:15 am UTC (link)
He opened the door with a grin, taking one of the bottles from her hand as he stepped out of the way to let her in.

"Oh? And what makes you think princesses are slow? Your mother surely wasn't. Especially after she knocked me flat. Oh, aye, she had spirit."

He grinned, putting the bottle on the table. Wolf trotted up to her, sniffed her quickly, then nuzzled her free hand before going back to the couch and making herself at home. She had obviously judged Emma worthy.

"I was sorry to hear that you've not had any luck in finding a way back to Storybrooke," he said, and he was even half-honest when he said it. His own feelings cried out for her to stay, but he understood that saving Henry had to be her topmost priority. It was honorable that it should be so, that the child came first. And so few humans had honor anymore.

He opened the bottle of...whatever it was she brought, and took a swig of it, enjoying the burn as it hit his throat.

"Don't have any glasses, sorry," he said with a shrug, handing the bottle over to her.

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[info]swanemma
2012-07-20 12:42 am UTC (link)
A smile slipped over her lips the second he opened his door. Emma found it weird how she missed him in a way considering back in their world he had been gone for a bit. Maybe it was the fact that she was now seeing him again that caused her to open up that wound again. Moving into the car, she turned around though at his comment about her mother.

“My mother knocked you down?” She asked with a laugh. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t laugh but….oh who am I kidding, that’s great,” she said before biting her lip for a moment. “So my mom was a tough woman?” Maybe that was where that whole thing came with Jefferson because both had been confused on how Mary had kicked him out the window. “Why did she knock you down?” Emma had never been big on fairytales expect for one that she read all the time, but it wasn’t the one her mother came from.

Her eyes turned downward when she saw Wolf come over to her, smiling at the beautiful animal. “Hey,” she said softly as she moved her hand to rub her head, watching as she went back to the couch. “She must enjoy having the couch all to herself,” she said with a small laugh before returning to look at him. “Yeah, well I was told I don’t get to return until the train decides to send me back so I could be here till tomorrow or I could be here for a while,” part of her didn’t mind that but another part did. Here she had the huntsman, but she wanted to save her son and destroy Regina for everything she had done. Only now she figured it was pointless because if she didn’t do what Gold said then she might not be able to change things causing her to lose Henry still. The thought caused her to feel sick at the thought of losing her little boy.

Emma shrugged at the whole no glasses thing because it wasn’t like she was drinking with some stranger. Hell, she had kissed him so the whole sharing a drink wasn’t a huge deal to her. “I didn’t think to grab any. I just grabbed the first two bottles I could find of alcohol and came over,” she left out how she had been slightly excited to see him again. “So why are you drinking?” She remembered the last time he had been drinking or at least the last time she had seen him drunk so she wasn’t quite sure what his reason this time was. Moving to take the bottle from him before moving to sit on the bed, taking a swig of the drink before looking back over at him. “Or is it a secret?” She teased slightly with the last bit.

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[info]cryoverwildlife
2012-07-20 02:22 am UTC (link)
"You don't know the story, then?" he asked with a raised eyebrow. "You didn't read it in Henry's book? Ah, well. See, Regina hired me to kill your mother. She felt she couldn't do it herself, that she needed someone who lacked human emotion, who could do the deed coldly. I...had something of a reputation of brutality, of mercilessness...and she brought me to the castle and set the task before me. I agreed, if in return she would protect the wolves, who I had always considered my family, from slaughter. She agreed to that, so a few days later, disguised as one of her guards, she sent me out with your mother, asking me to return with her heart. Well, your mother discovered the deception shortly enough, and fought at first - taking advantage of my armor and her small size to make her get away. I caught up with her soon enough, though, writing a letter to Regina. It surprised me that she would do such a thing - writing a letter instead of running, but she said that she knew I would catch her (which was true) and that she'd rather Regina know how she felt. She gave the letter to me, and I read it..."

He looked away for a moment, the memory making his eyes tear up even then.

"It was then I realized that I could not do the deed I was given. I could not kill your mother. I had killed many times in my life, animals and men, but there had always been a reason. They had always been deserving, or it had been necessary for my own survival. Your mother...was an innocent. She had done no wrong, and her heart was pure - there was no doubt of that in my mind after reading the letter. I told her to run, to run far and fast, and I took the Queen - Regina - the heart of a stag instead. I did not understand magic - I knew it existed, but it had never been part of my life. I did not know how easy it would be to tell the difference. It took her no time at all, and in her fury, she took my heart in recompense. It was locked away in her vault, and with it in her possession, I was forever in her thrall, at her mercy. She made me her slave in all ways...some of which she continued in Storybrooke."

He reddened, breaking eye contact with her and taking a deep drink of the alcohol, trying to break those feelings of vulnerabilty and helplessness before they began. He didn't realize that the more he spoke of those times, the more he remembered, the more he fell back into that persona. His language became more formal, his posture more upright, his eyes distant and colder - except when he looked back at her.

He did however, realize more and more that he could never choose between the two personalities. They would have to reach a compromise. He could never fully be the Huntsman again - he had lived twenty-eight years as Sheriff Graham, and there were things he'd liked of the man he had become. He liked having a sense of humor, he'd liked protecting people. He'd liked having a place in a community - something he had never had before.

And yet, he could never fully be Graham again, either. Not knowing who he truly was, knowing that Graham had been created by Regina as a way to trap him, as a way to make him permanently her pet. He shuddered at that thought - he couldn't hep it. He was the Huntsman. And there were parts of him that were Graham. But he didn't know...he couldn't...

He took another long drink, closing his eyes.

"Drinking because I don't really know who I am anymore. Maybe drunk, I can just be nobody."

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[info]swanemma
2012-07-20 02:47 am UTC (link)
Emma had never really been into the fairytales because she felt they were a bunch of crap. Happy endings? They were a load of shit that someone made up to fill the heads of little girls or at least that was how Emma saw it. Her life had never been a happy ending and no way was she going to pretend it was. Only story that had ever been of interest to her was Alice in Wonderland for some reason, but she had read that book more times than anything. Listening to the story of her mother caused her to shift slightly at how Regina really had it out for her, which now that she knew who her mother was made sense on why Mary had been in jail on murder charges or everything else that went down. Regina was also the reason that Emma grew up with no family or feeling all alone in the world.

Her eyes were on him as he told Emma the story, but that just made her have a few questions, especially the one that was bugging her since Regina made the comment to her only she didn’t think the huntsman would be up for answering it. Moving off the bed, she moved over to him as she bit her bottom lip before rubbing his arm in hopes of comforting him in a sense. The whole emotions thing wasn’t something she found herself good at, but she was trying. “Yes, but I’m thankful for letting my mother live and I’m sorry you became her pet. I figured maybe you saw a different side to her that was why you had something behind closed doors with her,” she admitted. Emma was a little jealous of that because she just couldn’t open up then to see him leaving her place it had hurt more than she had been expecting.

Emma couldn’t even begin to imagine how he felt now that he remembered everything and she wished that she could do something for him. Part of her just wanted to comfort him and another part of her wanted to go track Regina down to kick her ass for everything. His reason for drinking though caused her to frown because she knew what that felt like only he really had been two people where she usually when feeling like that was because she was torn. “Hey, you’re never going to be a nobody. As much as you hate that whole Graham name you’ll always be both the huntsman and Graham. Regina may have had you under her control for the most part, but you were also your own person. If she had complete control, do you think she would have allowed you to hire me? Do you think she would have allowed you to be a pain in the ass sheriff who had a kind side to him?” She added part of that to give him a hard time. “No, you decided that so no matter how much you hate Graham that will always be with you.” Emma saw him as a great man and she just wished he saw that. For once, she had a decent human being in her life and though she felt she wasn’t the best person around, she believed he was.

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[info]cryoverwildlife
2012-07-20 03:22 am UTC (link)
He looked down at her, dropping his hands to her waist as he looked in her eyes, his own full of deep and confused emotion.

"I'm glad I let your mother live, too. I've never regretted that, never regretted that I spared an innocent woman who did not deserve to die. Who, even after everything Regina had done to her, was able to find forgiveness in her heart. To forfeit my life for that...for one so pure...is not something I am ashamed of."

He paused for a moment when she spoke of catching him leaving Regina's, one of the most mortifying moments of his life. He hadn't wanted her to know about that, not when his feelings for her had been in their infancy and he had wanted her to see him as a good and moral person. And he had been so ashamed of what had happened with himself and Regina. He hadn't understood the spell at the time, he hadn't understood that what was happening was rather out of his control. That it was a compulsion that she had created, and that he had no choice in the matter. All that he had known was that he felt...shame. He was ashamed to be carrying on a relationship with Regina, and each time had made him feel...dirty. Like he was doing something wrong. And yet somehow it always happened again, despite his resolution each time that he was going to tell her...that he was going to end it. It just never happened. And now that he understood the spell, he knew why.

"I don't think there is a different side to her," he said, shaking his head. "I think with her, what you see is what you get. Selfish, self-serving, willing to do anything and hurt anyone to get her own way. That's the way she's always been, since I've known her. In both of my lifetimes."

His lips quirked into a bit of a smile as she asserted he'd never be a nobody.

"It did feel good to tell her that I'd chosen you as my deputy. And it felt good when I helped free your father from the castle. Anything I ever did to defy her...felt good. And I guess that was me, showing my freedom, wasn't it? Showing that she'd never have me completely. That she could control my actions, and my body, but never my thoughts."

He traced her jaw softly with his fingers, looking at her with a surprisingly tender expression that broke into a gentle laugh.

"Pain in the ass Sheriff, eh? Well, if it helps, I think I arrested you more times than I'd ever arrested anyone else in Storybrooke."

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[info]swanemma
2012-07-20 03:48 am UTC (link)
In a weird way his hands on her waist was rather comforting and part of her didn’t want him to remove his hands from her waist, but she knew that she couldn’t go down that path. Not right now when she was still unsure what she was feeling or what she wanted. How was that fair to him? “Do you mind if I ask you a question about Mary and Regina? Or Snow and Regina is more like it? I know she’s my mother but I guess it’s still weird for me to use that term. You probably don’t know the answer and if the topic is one that makes you uncomfortable then forget it, but I figured I can see if maybe you know.” No matter what Mary did or her mom as she should call her, but the whole thing still felt weird in her mind the woman was a good person. She didn’t think her mother could do anything that bad that had her deserving everything Regina had done.

Emma always made sure that she came off as strong since she had to be in the world that she grew up in. The life she grew up with was the reason she was so damn afraid of counting on anyone or trusting people. Henry deserved the best chance he could get, which was why she had to give him up even if part of her wanted to keep him. Though she knew the night that she found him leaving Regina’s had hurt her in a sense, but she had never wanted to let people see that. Mary picked up on something being wrong and even Graham had caught on that something was up with Emma, but she didn’t need the emotions. “I just wasn’t sure if maybe she had a different side. She’s a heartless bitch as I told her straight out who can’t stand to see anyone happy unless she’s the one happy.” Emma hated the bitch for everything that she had done. Emma had never wanted to stay in Storybrooke, but Regina had made her with saying the wrong thing to her.

When he started to smile a bit, she allowed herself to smile slightly before nodding, “You helped David as well? Just have a thing for helping my family, huh?” She teased. “Yes, because I doubt Regina would have wanted you doing any of that so you still had control in some sense.” For a moment, she allowed him to trace her jaw before pulling back slowly as she moved to have another sip from the bottle in her hand. It was her way of moving away before she did something stupid like kiss him when she wasn’t sure what he felt or what she felt. A laugh left her lips on the comment about arresting her. “Yes, pain in the ass sheriff. Really? I feel like that should get me a treat or something. What can I say I had to shake up the town somehow? Plus I felt you weren’t working enough so might as well give you something to do,” she said, laughing softly.

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[info]cryoverwildlife
2012-07-20 04:17 am UTC (link)
"You can ask me anything," he said with a shrug. "But I can't promise you I'll know the answer. Regina didn't tell me much as sheriff, and she certainly didn't confide in me while I was a prisoner in her castle. But I heard some things. So I can try?" He had no idea what it was she wanted to know, but there was very little he wouldn't tell Emma, if he could.

"No, she didn't. And I'm...sorry you had to see that. Me, I mean. Leaving her place. Jesus, I'm sorry you had to see that. At least...Henry never knew." Honestly, he couldn't remember a worse...or more humiliating moment in his entire life, and he shook his head, taking a hand from her waist and running it through his dark, rather fluffy hair, mussing it more than it was to start with.

"Your father was trying to escape. I wanted nothing more than to go with him, but it was...impossible. I couldn't leave the castle because of her power over me. But I did what I could. I'm sorry it couldn't have been more."

He wasn't surprised that she'd pulled away, although he wished that she hadn't. He'd known people like her before - afraid of what they were feeling, unable to open up in the fear that they'd be hurt. He'd been that way himself at one point, although never, perhaps, to the extent that she was.

He sighed, and took a step back, leaning against the wall, giving her the bed to sit on without feeling as if she had to share it with him.

"I was raised by wolves, you know. From rumors I've heard, my parents were very poor and couldn't afford a baby, so after I was born, they put me out in the woods to die. So I...know what it's like to feel abandoned."

Maybe telling her a bit about what he remembered about his childhood would convince her that she wasn't alone.

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[info]swanemma
2012-07-20 04:30 am UTC (link)
Emma really didn’t think anyone would have an answer and that was why Regina wanted Emma to ask her mother. Maybe it was Regina’s sick way of trying to turn mother and daughter against one another, but Emma had done so much in her past from messing around with a married man to so much that she doubt her mother did anything that bad. “Why does Regina want Snow or Mary depending on which world you’re in dead so bad? Regina made a comment to me that I wanted to see if maybe you knew,” she asked, tilting her head slightly to the side as she looked at him. “Yeah, I think if Henry knew that would have been awkward. No, it’s fine. I get it now so don’t need to apologize. I’m just glad Henry didn’t know much about any of the things that were going on in the type of stuff,” she didn’t think Henry knew about Emma and him kissing or if he did then he never said anything to her.

Watching him run his hand through his dark hair had her almost do it just for a brief moment, but she stopped herself as she listened about her father. “You did more than you realize. Think of it this way if you did what you should have, I wouldn’t have been around,” and that thought alone was a little weird for her. Emma found her way was easier, but she looked over at him when he spoke about his childhood. It was a little comforting to know that she wasn’t the only one who never really had family, but he had the wolves. Emma felt alone and like she had to take care of herself and that was why she was always more closed off than most.

“You can sit, you know?” She motioned to the bed before sighing softly. “I was found on the side of a road as a newborn and raised in the system. I didn’t really have a great life and only got worse as I got older because I was watching out for myself. Then I find out from someone who showed up in Storybrooke other details about my life when I came here that I never knew about,” she admitted to him and as she thought about August, she found her taking another drink from the bottle. If she believed him, she probably could have stopped him from turning into a wooden man. “Yes, but you still turned out to be a good person in the end,” she was really needing to be drunk right now as this was the most she opened up about herself with anyone.

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[info]cryoverwildlife
2012-07-20 04:45 am UTC (link)
"It's good that he didn't," he said adamantly, in reference to Henry. He's just a little kid. Not that there's a thing wrong with adults doing whatever they please, as long as they're all consenting, but I think kids get wrapped up in all of that too soon. They need to be kids. They need to enjoy being kids before they have to worry about being adults. Although..."

He swallowed, grinning a little, embarrassed, but feeling the need to tell her the truth.

"I think he knows...we kissed. He asked how I remembered...what I remembered, and I wasn't going to lie to him. I think his reaction was "eww, you kissed my mom?" He laughed a little, shaking his head affectionately at the memory. "It's a good boy you have there. I don't know how he turned out as good as he did, with Regina as his mother all that time."

"You're right. And it was all worth it, because of that. Because it brought you to this world. Which is...odd to think about in a sense, but...I really don't care."

He grinned a little, impishly, looking at the bed beside her as she said he could sit. He...had a lot of feelings about sitting on a bed beside her, feelings he wasn't certain he actually wanted to recognize at the moment. It wasn't the time for that, not now, no matter how often his mind had wandered there in the days since she had arrived on the train.

"Nah, I'll stand, I'm fine."

Her words took his mind in a completely different direction, though, and as he listened, his face fell into sadness.

"I'm sorry for that," he said sincerely, his eyes wide and sympathetic as he looked at her with a great deal of emotion. "But...you turned out to be a good person too, you know that, right? A great person."

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[info]swanemma
2012-07-20 05:00 am UTC (link)
“No, I think he was more focused on trying to break the curse that he really didn’t notice that type of stuff. I’m glad because he’s too young to be worrying about the whole thing. Plus I think he was more interested in trying to get Mary and David together that he didn’t care about anything else,” she said with a small laugh. Emma kept having to ask Mary for weird favors like going to read to David when he was in the hospital because Henry believed that would help them. Emma was just trying to humor Henry, but she couldn’t believe how right he was.

Her eyes widened when he said about how Henry knew about her and him kissing, but that look changed into laughing at what her son said. “Did he really? Oh I’m sure that would have pissed Regina off if she heard. He never said a word to me,” she admitted. When the huntsman said about Henry being a good boy, she nodded because he really was. “Yeah, well I guess Regina did something right. I can’t take credit for how he turned out, but I agree he’s a smart and good kid,” and she was proud of that.

It was odd to think about how she felt something for a man that had been around before she was and kept both her parents alive. “A little, but yeah, if you had killed either one of them then I probably would have never made it,” she said, which was a little scary to think about how different her world could have been if everything had been different. Would she have trust issues if she had been around her mom? Would she be able to let people in?

Emma figured that he was standing because of how she had pulled away, but she just wasn’t sure what she wanted. He was the last person she wanted to hurt in the world. “No need to be sorry,” she said with a shake of her head. It wasn’t his fault that she had to be sent to the real world or how she was raised. Or that the no one wanted to take her in, but she figured it just made her stronger. Only Emma didn’t want to talk about those depressing moments not right now or maybe ever. “Yeah, I guess,” Emma didn’t want to seem like she was searching for nice words, but she believed that she wasn’t a good person. But she could claim she was better than Regina and that was what mattered. “What have you and Wolf been up to?” She asked as she tried to change the subject, moving to push a piece of her hair behind her ear.

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[info]cryoverwildlife
2012-07-20 05:14 am UTC (link)
"I know it's not my fault," he said with a one-shouldered shrug. "But I'm still sorry. I'm sorry you had to suffer, and be unhappy, even if it did make you into the woman you are now. And I like that woman. I like her a good bit. And she was a damned good deputy, if I do say so myself."

He crossed his arms across his chest and smiled at her from across the room, then sighed, and went to sit beside her, taking the bottle as he did, and taking a long drink before offering it to her. His leg touched hers as he sat, but he did nothing. Nor would he do anything. It just felt good to be close to her, to be near someone who was his own choice.

"Not much," he said honestly. "I met a...well, she said she was a Goddess. Goddess of the Hunt. She said she'd take me hunting next time we stop, which sounds wonderful to me. Wolf would like to stretch her legs too, I'm sure. Then Rump-Mr. Gold asked me to watch over his lady, make sure that Regina didn't bother her, so the night before last I sat outside her door all night, keeping guard. Other than that...I've been playing darts in the entertainment car, and just...watching the scenery. Not much else to do, is there?"

It wasn't an exciting life, that was for sure, but it was better than no life at all, or a life that had Regina dictating every aspect.

"You?"

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[info]swanemma
2012-07-20 05:34 am UTC (link)
“What doesn’t kill you just ends up making you stronger,” she didn’t want to go into about how she thought about why her parents gave her up or how she had been looking for them even when she was an adult. No, she didn’t want to show how lonely she had been before Henry showed up on her doorstep or how she was happy he found her because it showed her what good she could do by having that smart boy. Or the fact he didn’t hate her for giving him up, but that he still considered her his mother. “Oh do you? I’m glad you like this woman and yeah, that I did. You would be so proud I took over as Sheriff even though Regina wasn’t happy about that and I stopped getting arrested. No point in going to jail if you weren’t the one arresting me,” she told him with a smirk.

The real reason she was always in jail was because of Regina, but she could joke it was only to see him. A small smile slipped over her lips when he sat down next to her, turning her head to look at him as she rejected the drink he offered to her. No, she was quite happy with the bottle in her hand that was starting to numb her pain. At this rate she was probably going to end up with a drinking problem, but she didn’t care. As he explained what he had been up to, she nodded until the part about Gold. “He has a lady? Never thought I would hear that. So she’s from the fairytale world?” She asked. Was that the person Gold said how someone was from that world but Emma didn’t know her. “Another person who has been screwed over by Regina?” She asked before shaking her head, “That was kind of you but I’m sure you’ll enjoy hunting. If you play darts anything like you hunt that is,” she said since she remembered how she wanted to kill him the night he threw a dart near her.

As Emma looked at him, she kept hearing the advice Mary gave her about how Emma worked so hard to keep her walls up that she would miss out on something great. The last time she listened, she lost Graham because Regina killed him, but maybe she could try again. Glancing away from him, she shook her head. “Not much I’ve been pretty much in my room drinking and thinking about a lot of things,” she really had gone back to her loner ways rather quickly, but she knew she had to snap out of it sooner or later. “But I did meet my roommate so that’s something,” she said as she looked back over at him. Only this time she decided to go with her gut for once as she turned his head slightly, leaning forward she kissed him softly, resting her hand on his cheek for a moment before pulling back. Emma really wasn’t sure how he was going to react to that, but she took a chance as stupid as it might have been.

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[info]cryoverwildlife
2012-07-20 05:51 am UTC (link)
"You took over as Sheriff?" he asked, looking at her with surprised eyes. "Really? Well...that...wow, how? How did she let you do that? Not that I'm not thrilled - I am, but...how did you manage that? I thought she'd just appoint one of her flunkies in my place."

He shook his head, looking at her, deeply impressed, no matter how she had managed to do that.

"Ah, is that why you kept getting arrested? Wanted to keep being a pain in my butt?"

His grin was bright, his eyes twinkling with inner laughter. Arresting her as many times as he had became ridiculous by the end, but he still had enjoyed the chances it had given him to see her. And to get to know her. A gift that Regina had never known she was giving, and probably wouldn't have if she'd known.

"I know - crazy, right? I always thought he was more than a little creepy, even before my memories came back. But...maybe the fairytales are true, and there really is someone out there for everyone. I...remembered Belle from her Majesty's castle, when I was a guard there, after she imprisoned me. I didn't speak to her, and I don't know her crime, but I doubt it was worth what she paid for it. She seemed a sweet girl to me. Still does. Very sweet and delicate and pretty - not the kind of girl I can see with that sinister man. But who am I to say? I would...really rather just not think about it, to be honest."

He was caught off guard when she kissed him, not expecting that. But he certainly didn't resist. When she pulled away, he leaned in himself to kiss her again. Wrapping his arms around her, he pulled her closer, deepening the kiss, and feeling a pleasant warmth spread through him as he did.

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[info]swanemma
2012-07-20 06:12 am UTC (link)
“Yes, I know it’s a surprise, huh? I didn’t even want to touch your office for the longest time because that was your office,” and she didn’t want to mess that up. Emma finally moved into the office, but that had taken a while because she couldn’t stop thinking about him. “Mr. Gold was the one that convinced me to run and Regina was going to put someone else in charge, but I won out in the sheriff election,” she left out about what Mr. Gold did or the things that happened while trying to win. All that mattered was how she won.

Emma looked shocked, “I was never a pain! Plus kept you on your toes considering it seemed all you did was enjoy doughnuts and sat around.” If he was going to give her a hard time then she would do it right back. Emma wasn’t a huge fan of being arrested, but she had to admit the company wasn’t bad plus he never treated her like a criminal. “You probably enjoyed getting me behind bars so I had to listen to you talk up a storm,” she teased once again, smiling as she said it.

“I don’t know what he was like in the other world, but I know he wasn’t my favorite person in Storybrooke,” she stated before shaking her head. “Yes, but she might see a different side to him and we might see him one way, but she sees him a different way,” Emma left that alone because he didn’t want to think about it so she was going to respect that. Part of her felt like maybe she should stop this, but she didn’t want to. Maybe listening to her mother would work out without ending up with him dead. Her hands rested on his face, kissing him deeply as she found him pulling her closer. She only broke the kiss to put the drink down on the ground before going back to kissing him. Her hands moved down to his arms as if she was afraid that he was going to fall down again like he did that night in the station.

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[info]cryoverwildlife
2012-07-20 02:37 pm UTC (link)
"Well, I can't imagine anyone doing a better job than you would. I'm glad you're the one who replaced me."

It was strange to be thinking of being replaced at all, actually. It had been only a few days ago to him that he'd been alive and well, carrying out his job as Sheriff as he had for...however many years it had been. He was dead; he knew that logically and rationally, but it wasn't goin to be the easiest thing to accept emotionally. He wasn't ready to die yet.

Changing the subject quickly, he let out a loud guffaw at her accusations.

"That is not true! I did more than eat doughnuts and sit around! Being Sheriff of Storybrooke was a tough job. Leroy was always getting drunk..and...and...well, there was work to do. Plenty."

He grinned and kissed her, again, grateful when she put down her drink and seemed to be getting more serious about it. There was something about kissing her that was incredibly appealing; she was warm and soft, and - this shouldn't have been as novel as it was - his choice. He didn't fall down this time, but gently laid her back on the bed, pulling her to him and continuing to kiss her. It didn't have to go any further than is, but he felt like he could kiss her like this for a very, very long time.

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[info]swanemma
2012-07-20 06:14 pm UTC (link)
His words about him being glad that she replaced him made her feel a bit better about how she had the job. Emma really didn’t like taking his place as sheriff, but the fact he said that made things a little easier. “I didn’t want to take the job because no one can replace you. I just didn’t want the person she wanted to put in as sheriff,” she told him.

Emma had been just fine with her being an officer, but she wasn’t going to let Regina have control over the place. No, then she could have kissed her job goodbye and everything in that town would have gone to hell. When he changed the subject she let it go because the whole talking about Graham being dead was harder than she thought causing her to figure it must have been even harder on him.

“Did you? Could have fooled me?” She asked with a smirk. “I figured you stalked me just because you knew at some point you would have to arrest me,” she teased. It was nice to have a tiny bit of fun without wondering whether Regina was going to attack someone or worry about the curse right now.

On the inside, she was fighting with herself on whether she should stop or not, but she was allowing her to be happy for once. All she wanted was to feel him close to her again without the worry of Regina or wondering if he was going to die on her. Moving a bit back on the bed when he moved her back, she pulled him down slightly so she could kiss him deeply. Her hands moved slowly over his chest and back up to rest on his face before slowly pulling away. “Sorry about that,” she wasn’t sorry about kissing him, but more sorry that she didn’t follow their agreement on taking it slow.

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[info]cryoverwildlife
2012-07-20 09:38 pm UTC (link)
"Stalking you? Really? You definitely should have gone to te Sheriff and filed a restraining order for something as bad as all that."

There was a mischievous twinkle in his eye as he looked over at her. It was good to have her here, even if that was a selfish thought. It was nice to have someone he both knew and trusted. Someone he knew for sure wasn't in Regina's pocket. With Gold and his Lady...well, she at least seemed sweet enough, but he had learned in his years as Sheriff that people could always surprise you, especially if you pushed them far enough.

When she stopped kissing him, he poured slightly, but it turned into a gentle smile soon enough.

"What are you apologizing to me for? For kissing me? I'm more than fine with that, really. Thought you'd've known that already."

He flopped down on his back on the bed beside her, staring at the ceiling as Wolf padded over and jumped up on the bed with them, snuggling in between them, her head on his chest.

"Think she's jealous of you," he teased, scratching the wolf's ears.

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[info]swanemma
2012-07-21 02:45 am UTC (link)
Emma threw on a surprised face before shaking her head, “Yes, really and I can’t believe I never thought of that. I heard my stalker knew all the right people though so I had to be careful.” This was what she missed more than anything. Yes, the kissing him was nice and something she enjoyed quite a bit, but she enjoyed that they could goof off. He wasn’t all that serious and he could make her laugh, which was important to her.

To be honest, she had trusted Graham for the most part, but after seeing him with Regina she lost a bit of trust in him. The fact he was messing around with the evil bitch had hurt along with the fact that the bitch was always trying to take Emma down. Part of her wasn’t sure where Graham stood because she just knew Regina was always out to get her. The night when he died when he had stood up to Regina was a surprise to her just as much as it seemed to surprise Regina, but Emma was even more surprised that he left with her. Though she pushed all that away when she saw his pout causing her to shake her head, “That crap doesn’t work on me, Graham….I mean, huntsman.”

She shook her head at that being the reason, “No, I’m not sorry about that. I’m sorry because we both agreed to take it slow and figure things out. Well, we see how well that’s working,” she said with a small shrug. “I just feel bad since we both agreed to take things slow.” Moving to sit up slightly on the bed, she looked over at him as he relaxed on the bed. When Wolf jumped up, she was a little surprised, but Emma moved to pet Wolf as she watched her put her head on his chest.

“I would say so. I guess she didn’t like me touching you,” she said with a small laugh. “Should I be a little worried about her being jealous? Should I back off, Wolf?” She asked the wolf with a smirk.

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[info]cryoverwildlife
2012-07-21 03:54 pm UTC (link)
"Oh, a stalker with connections - that's rough. But at least you're free of that now," he grinned, smiling at her playfully.

He sighed when she started speaking about moving slow. Honestly, it didn't matter to him. He wasn't sure how much time they had on the train - if moving slow was an option, or if moving slow was writing them off and would be the same thing as not moving at all. It was true that he didn't want to rush things - that's why he'd said it in the first place - but if they were both comfortable with moving faster, well, he wasn't opposed to that, either.

"I'm happy with whatever you're comfortable with," he said with a shrug. "If you want to go slow...we'll go slow. If you don't...well, we're both adults, after all. But whatever."

Wolf looked over at Emma, cocking her red eye at her.

"I think you'll be okay," he laughed, scratching her ears. "We've been together for a long time, and I suppose you could say she's sort of like my sister. Just be...good to me," he winked.

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[info]swanemma
2012-07-21 04:30 pm UTC (link)
Emma fought back a smirk and instead put on a sad face for a brief moment, “Oh yes, it was very rough. I felt like a damsel in distress.” If anyone knew how far off Emma was as a damsel in distress it was the huntsman, but he also had no idea about the stuff that happened to her after he left. He had no idea about what happen to her and that sick man Jefferson or about her slaying a dragon or even about Mary being in jail. Though right now she was just joking about her feeling so helpless.

Where part of her wanted the huntsman another part of her was telling her to figure things out. Emma was so torn on what she wanted and with no one around to be the smart one in terms of feelings like Mary had been, she was a small mess. Her three biggest fears was getting hurt, losing him again, and that Regina would do something to ruin anything that the huntsman and her might start to have. At his saying that it was pretty much her choice, she groaned and covered her hands with her face as she fell back on the bed. “I don’t know what I want, huntsman. Only reason I did anything back in Storybrooke or allowed anything to happen was because of some advice my mom gave me,” she admitted to him before sighing. “And what do you want?” She asked not even looking over at him because right now she would probably end up kissing him again.

She did turn her head slightly to look at the wolf, giving the wolf a small smile before petting the middle of her back. “I never did well with jealous females,” which showed quite well as Regina seemed to want to crush everything Emma had making it seem like it was out of being jealous along with anger. “So no hurting you? I think I can manage that,” she said with a smile, shaking her head at his wink.

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[info]cryoverwildlife
2012-07-22 02:47 am UTC (link)
"I'm sure you did. You're quite the Damsel in Distress, ever since I met you."

He laughed at that, unable to keep a straight face as he said such a ridiculous thing. Emma was one of the strongest women he knew - it was one of the things that had attracted him to her in the first place.

He sighed when she threw his question back at him, staring up at the ceiling.

"I don't know. I've never really had a...relationship before. I'm not quite sure how they work. With Regina...well, it wasn't exactly romance."

He pinched the bridge of his nose, realizing a bit too late that he shouldn't have brought that up. Truth was, Emma had him a bit off guard at the moment. "What advice did your mother give you?" he asked - curious, as well as wanting to get the attention off himself and to procrastinate answering her question for a moment.

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[info]swanemma
2012-07-22 03:19 am UTC (link)
Emma fought the urge to smirk and shrugged her shoulders all innocent like, “I’m sorry that I attract danger. People should just put a tracking device on me for when they need to rescue the damsel. Then again if you did that, you would have been kept very busy.” The idea of her as a damsel was one that made her laugh. Emma couldn’t remember a time when she was ever the damsel type considering she watched out for herself from a young age because she felt no one wanted or even cared about her. “Hey, don’t laugh I could be a damsel in distress and your laughing might hurt my feeling,” she sniffled like she really was ready to cry but she refused to look at him because she knew if she did, she would probably start laughing.

When he brought Regina up, she shut her eyes for a moment because that bitch was the last person she wanted to think about at the moment. “Yeah, well I’m not the best with relationships. I’ve had plenty but none worth talking about,” she said as she didn’t even touch the comment about Regina. No, she wanted to not think about how those two had been hooking up for however long before the night he died when he ended it.

Biting her bottom lip for a moment, she turned her head to look at him, “Mary Margaret I think figured out I had some feelings for you. At this point, I was thinking that she was just a nice woman who allowed me to crash in her place and was a friend. But anyways, she told me that I keep walls up from other people and that’s to keep out the pain, but if I keep doing that I would end up keeping out love and other things.” Part of that was true on the reason Emma kept the walls up and it annoyed her how right her mother was without even knowing Emma.

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[info]cryoverwildlife
2012-07-22 03:52 am UTC (link)
"Sounds like a smart woman, your mother. She's right, you know. If you put up walls to keep some feelings out - you keep all of them out. And not feeling...Emma, that's the worst thing in the world. Trust me. I know."

He covered his face with his hand as he lay back on the bed, his mind running through the twenty-eight years (how old did that make him actually? he didn't want to know) he had been stuck as Regina's lover in Storybrooke. He wanted more than anything to believe that it had just been a terrible choice...that he had been mistaken about Regina. Anything that would have made it his choice.

But he knew now that the choice had not been his at all - everything he had done with Regina had been because she wanted it; because she took everything she wanted and consent was unimportant. It wouldn't have mattered to her in the least whether he wanted it. He had...she had - used him for thirty years. And it made him feel sick. Dirty. Vulnerable in ways he never wanted to be.

He felt the tears burn his eyes, but he had never been one to hide his feelings.

"I...think we should go slow, too," he said, looking over at her. "I want...to be with you. But I don't want to ruin things by doing anything before we're both ready. And we've both been through a lot."

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[info]swanemma
2012-07-22 04:17 am UTC (link)
Emma knew he was right about her mother being a smart woman, but at the time she figured it was a friend who was making sure that Emma didn’t go down a bad path. “Yeah, it’s weird to think she still was giving me motherly type of advice without either of us knowing that we are related. But keeping the walls up is what comes easy for me. Everyone seems to think letting them down is so easy, but the walls have been building for twenty eight years that they are easier to put back up than they are to take down.” Then again part of her wasn’t sure if she was ready to allow her walls to come down because that made her defenseless and easier to hurt something she didn’t want. No, she could work on taking some down, but she knew that would take time. When she started to let them down, she lost Graham causing them to go back up quickly.

Watching him with a sign of worry because she couldn’t imagine what was going through his head at the moment. She didn’t know about him before coming to Storybrooke or what happened to him while in Storybrooke so she couldn’t even imagine what was going on in that head of his. After a moment, she rested her head back to look up as if waiting for him to say something once he was done dealing with whatever was going on in his head. It was weird to hear that anyone wanted to be with her. Henry was the first person that wanted to be in her life or have her around, but she figured it was because he considered her his mother even when she gave him up. Graham didn’t have to want her, but he did for some reason. “No, I agree about us not ruining anything. I think we should go with what we are both comfortable with because we have both been through a whole lot of shit that we should just take it at our own pace,” she said with a nod. Though she knew it could end badly if Regina got wind cause she was sure that Regina would screw with things.

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[info]cryoverwildlife
2012-07-22 04:31 am UTC (link)
"What do you want?" he asked softly, realizing very clearly that while he had told her that he was interested in being with her, she had never said the same thing. Maybe she was trying to let him down softly, although her kisses didn't taste like pity.

"I'm fine with going slow. But I...I'd like to know if we're on the same page. Or if I'm hoping for something that you're not interested in."

Wolf let out her breath, relaxing and snuggling between them, seeming happy to be close to them both. He turned his attention to the creature, as he feared Emma's response to those questions more than he dared to admit.

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[info]swanemma
2012-07-22 04:41 am UTC (link)
That question was one that Emma had been hoping to avoid because she didn’t know what she wanted. Lying was one answer but that would just end badly because she was an honest person even if the truth sucked. “Honestly? I don’t know. A huge part of me does want to see where things could go with us while taking it slow. If I didn’t want the same thing, I never would have kissed you tonight. On the other hand, the other side is telling me to just stick to the way I always am. To keep that guard up because emotions are not something I need to be dealing with,” she knew it probably wasn’t the answer he was hoping for but she was being honest. “I’m letting the bigger half win on taking it slow and seeing where things go,” she finally said after a few moments.

Emma knew it was still a half ass answer, but hey, it was an answer as far as she was concerned. Drinking had been her way to avoid thinking about what she wanted only that wasn’t helping. No, all this talk about what she wanted had her needing that bottle again as she moved to sit up and picking up the bottle from the floor to have another sip of the drink. Made sense why so many people had drinking problems because it helped take away the pain of life sucking the big one. “So we are on the same page for the most part,” she said, glancing back at him before taking another sip of her drink.

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[info]cryoverwildlife
2012-07-22 04:48 am UTC (link)
He nodded, but said nothing for a moment, just stared at the ceiling, getting his mind into the right place. It wasn't rally a surprise, what she said, even if it wasn't exactly what he had hoped for. It still wasn't a rejection, or a plea for him to back off. And that was something.

When she sat up, he did too after a moment, putting a hand on the small of her back. It was a friendly, supportive gesture more than any sort of romantic one. After a moment, he began rubbing using that hand to rub her back in gentle circles. It was impossible not to feel the tension in her back, and he raised an eyebrow in surprise, raising his other hand to gently work the knots.

"That's fine. That's grand," he said softly, wanting her to know that her choices were fine by him. That he wasn't going to push.

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[info]swanemma
2012-07-22 04:57 am UTC (link)
Her eyes rested on him for the moment as she tried to see how he felt about her answer. Emma figured he wasn’t going to be all that happy or something, but she wasn’t rejecting him just trying to figure it out. He seemed more in touch with his emotions than she was causing it harder for her to be more open about what she was feeling. The only time feelings really came out anymore that weren’t anger was with Mary Margaret and Henry. Most of the time her emotions as of late was anger and frustration with the world, especially when August told her how the whole town needed her. Emma didn’t want to be needed by anyone because she wasn’t a hero like people wanted.

Emma enjoyed feeling his hand on her body since it made her think that maybe he was fine with her choice. She ignored the way he was touching her back because she knew she was tense from everything that had been going on before she showed up here and then everything she was dealing with now. “You sure you’re okay? You wanted an answer so I gave you an honest one,” she told him before leaning over Wolf to kiss him again slightly. The whole thing was more of her way to show that she did want him, but she needed them to move at a pace that was comfortable for them both. Last thing she needed was them to rush or do anything to ruin something that could be good for the both of them.

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[info]cryoverwildlife
2012-07-22 05:15 am UTC (link)
"It's fine," he said softly, returning her kiss tenderly, but not pushing it further than she had already taken it. "Perfectly fine. It's a lot to take in...being here, me being alive...everything you've told me about with Henry. Me being a fairy tale character."

He grinned at the last part, his eyes twinkling as they usually did when a sincere smile reached them.

"You take your time, Emma. I'd never force anything on you that you didn't want. Never. And if you decide you don't want to be friends, all you have to do is say. I'm happy with that too."

He brushed her hair out of her face and kissed her temple softly, then took the drink from her hand, and took a big swig of it himself.

"Wish we had that book of Henry's. We could read it together. Been quite a while since I read all those stories. Or, well, lived them."

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[info]swanemma
2012-07-22 05:35 am UTC (link)
Her fingertips moved slowly over his jaw, pulling back only slightly so that her lips were still close to his as they talked. Though when he said about a lot to take in, she moved a little more away as she nodded. “Yeah, I mean it would be nice to see if maybe I could be happy for once which is why I want to see what happens. I knew I felt something when we kissed in your office, but that went to hell on anything happening between us,” she admitted to him.

The fact he was fine with her taking her time meant more than he even knew because this was something she had to take her time with. “I know you wouldn’t but I also don’t want you to think I’m trying to hurt you or rejecting you,” she told him. Emma gave him a look like he was nuts, “No matter what happens we will be friends since you helped me out quite a bit while I was in Storybrooke. If it wasn’t for you offering me that job, I probably would have left sooner or helped deal with my cuts when Regina and I had that fight,” she told him with a small smile. “No matter what we will be friends.” That much she knew for sure no matter what.

Her smile only got bigger when he brushed her hair out of her face and kissed her temple softly. “Yeah, it would be nice to get a better idea of what I’m dealing with or the story about my parents,” she figured she might as well read about her parents in case they never really knew who she was. How weird would it be trying to explain to them that she’s their daughter? No, she couldn’t do that to them even if she wanted them to accept her. “That book is what caused me to remember my past so it would be nice to see it again.”

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[info]cryoverwildlife
2012-07-22 05:49 am UTC (link)
"I bet they'll have fairytales here, in the library. Or...I'd be glad to tell you what I remember. Although granted, I was never as 'up' on the gossip as some. Before I was captured, I really preferred to stay to myself, in the woods. In my world. But I'd be glad to tell you my part of your mother' story, and what I know of the others. But I'm sure you'd do better with a book."

He pulled his hands from her, looking quietly out the window for a moment.

"I'm glad to tell you that your parents were both good people. I met your mother only the once, when I spared her life, and ended up giving my heart for hers. I don't regret that, Emma, not one bit. Your father I knew very little, but he impressed me with how very much he loved your mother. He wanted me to go with them, to leave the castle, but I couldn't. Regina's spell had me trapped there. Her slave and pet."

He shuddered.

"But that's all over now. And that's good. And...I know Henry's going to be okay, because...well, you brought back the Happy Endings."

Maybe his wasn't the happiest, but he was free. And there were far worse things than Death.

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[info]swanemma
2012-07-22 06:12 am UTC (link)
“They probably do, but I would feel better to have my son’s book,” it was weird to say that word considering she never wanted him to become attached to her, but she found herself just as attached to him. Emma had surprised herself when she decided to fight for him and go for custody to get her son back only that was all shot to hell now. “You don’t need to do that considering I’m sure you really don’t want to think about your time with Regina,” she told him. Emma wasn’t even sure if she wanted to know the story about her parents. No, she kept hoping that her parents would remember and maybe they could tell her everything, especially her mother in terms of why Regina hated her so much.

Emma remembered how her father almost gave up his life just to make sure she went to the real world and how the blanket she had always kept was from her mother. “Hey, you need to just remind yourself that it’s all over,” she moved off the spot that she was in and in front of him, moving her fingers over his cheek slightly. “Regina doesn’t have you under her control and I would hurt her before I allowed her to do anything to you again. I don’t really want to talk about happy endings and stuff like that,” she said softly. Graham had no idea about how Emma didn’t want to be their hero or how she only kept losing lives because she didn’t want him to think badly of her or saw her the way she saw herself.

Slowly she pulled her hand away from his face, moving to lean against the wall so that she could watch him. “But the stuff you did for my parents prove you’re a good man and the thing for my father proves you weren’t in her complete control.” She knew that was his biggest worry, but that alone showed he had some control.

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[info]cryoverwildlife
2012-07-22 02:24 pm UTC (link)
"No, she doesn't anymore," he said softly, very happy that it did indeed seem like her opinions held no sway over him here. Perhaps her spell had been broken when she had crushed his heart - it would be a small blessing.

He closed his eyes as her fingers traced his cheek, sighing softly at the feel of it. He loved her touch, and hoped that there would be...more of it in the days and weeks to come. He took her hand and brought those fingers to his lips, kissing them one at a time before letting her go.

"You're right," he said softly. "At least I could rebel from her in small ways. Saving your father. Hiring you as my deputy. She was not happy about that, by the way. I heard about it repeatedly."

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[info]swanemma
2012-07-22 04:26 pm UTC (link)
“I know it was hard, Graham,” she slipped with the name she knew him as but she didn’t correct herself this time because she wanted to say what she had to say, “But you need to believe that it made you stronger in the end. You now remember and I swear I won’t let her hurt you.” She was also thinking about how she wasn’t going to let Regina take him away from her again when things seemed to be going well. Then again did she really have a place to say she wouldn’t let Regina hurt him? Emma couldn’t even protect her own son from the evil witch. She also knew that he could take care of himself.

A small smile came over her lips as he kissed her fingers. For once, she seemed to have a nice guy that was interested in her instead of the jerks that she usually went for. Though that just raised more worries like whether she was going to hurt him or not, but she pushed that aside for now.

“Yes, so you had some power if not that much,” she knew he would have past sexual encounters because she knew she did, but the fact it was Regina made it weird for her. Only she was determined not to think about it or it would drive her mad. “Did you really?” She asked with a laugh. “I figured she gave you an earful about how you hired you, but I also didn’t know it would have been after hours as well,” she said the last bit softly. “Since she kept trying to get me out of town and I was going to leave until she opened her mouth causing me to stick around.”

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[info]cryoverwildlife
2012-07-23 04:12 am UTC (link)
"Oh, no, it was certainly 'after hours' as well. Now that I...know what happened to me, what happened...before Storybrooke, I know that was the beginning of the end. Nothing could ever be the same after I...did that. But I'm glad I did. I'm glad I got to know you, I'm glad I got to work with you, even if it was for a short time."

He wasn't sure why, but there was something about having her say she'd protect him, that she'd look after him...that seemed to touch something deep inside of him. Perhaps the fact that no human had ever said that to him before; that he'd spent all of his life on his own, hating humanity...that the idea of another human taking care of him sounded precious indeed. He didn't know what to say, but his eyes teared up a bit, and a single tear slid down his cheek.

"You will?"

He might not physically need her protection, but it was something...very precious that someone even cared enough to offer.

"Nobody's ever...said that to me before. Nobody's ever..."

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[info]swanemma
2012-07-23 04:42 am UTC (link)
“I didn’t know you two were hanging out after hours, but once I knew that I figured you were hearing about me on those times too,” she didn’t want to say hooking up cause she hated the thought of them. Hanging out didn’t make her feel so awkward considering part of her wanted something with him and thinking about him with Regina made her sick. “You just enjoyed arresting me so I was stuck listening to you talk and talk all day long,” she teased before nodding, “Well, thanks for believing in me enough to give me the job.” Emma didn’t even believe in herself that the job offer had been a bit of a shock.

A small smile slipped over her lips when she saw the tear causing her to shake her head slightly. “Yes, I won’t let her hurt you again. I don’t want her to take you from me twice so I refuse to let her do anything to you again,” and she meant that. Emma could hold her own just like she knew the huntsman could, but she was going to watch out for him. Hard to believe that she was willing to do that considering she didn’t want people counting on her, but she didn’t want anything happening to him. “Seriously? Well, I’m saying it to you.” Emma had heard it before only the person screwed her over causing her not to trust when people said it. That was the reason she watched out for herself.

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[info]cryoverwildlife
2012-07-23 05:50 am UTC (link)
"It wasn't my choice, Emma," he said, feeling rather sick at the memories himself. "Once she had my heart...it was part of being her pet. And that was all I ever was to her. She was less than that to me."

She had been his captor, the one who abused him. Never more than that, although he had sought for more a great deal of the time he had been in Storybrooke, never quite understanding why he could feel nothing when he was with her. Of course, he knew that it couldn't have been entirely the curse that had done that - because even without his heart he had certainly felt something for Emma.

"Who would have?" he asked softly. "You know Regina wouldn't, and in Storybrooke everybody assumed I was perfectly capable of taking care of myself. I was Sheriff, after all. And in my other world...well, my parents left me to die when I was just a babe, and I never had a lot of faith in humans after that."

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[info]swanemma
2012-07-23 06:13 am UTC (link)
“I know it wasn’t your choice. She was able to get you to do what she wanted for the most part and I understand that now,” she told him with a small sigh. Emma knew she thought maybe they had feelings for one another because the whole talk of fairytales was crazy even the whole heart thing was a little nuts, but she wanted to believe Graham. It was why she helped him search for it even when she knew they wouldn’t find anything. Now she felt like an idiot for not believing him or trying to find his heart because maybe she would have been able to keep him safe and alive.

Emma shrugged at his question, moving her hand to rest on his knee slightly as she moved to sit on the other side of him so that she was back to being near him. “Just because you can take care of yourself doesn’t mean that you don’t need people watching out for you. I know you can watch out for yourself, but I’ll also be making sure nothing happens to you if I have any say,” she told him with a small smile. “Well, I mean it that I won’t let anything happen to you,” Emma was trying to work on the whole letting her guard down or at least with him because she did want to try to have something special with him.

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[info]cryoverwildlife
2012-07-24 03:15 am UTC (link)
"You must have thought I was mad that day, running around town out of my mind, confused, ranting about how I didn't have a heart. It was...true. All of it...but it's not exactly easy to convince people of that."

He covered her hand with his, stroking her fingers tenderly, that tiny touch doing a great deal to warm his heat, in a way Regina never had.

"I...like that idea. Having someone watching out for me. It's...something I've never known, but the idea...of having someone there looking out for me, of...knowing someone cares. I like that. And I hope you know the reverse is true. I'm looking out for you, too, Emma."

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[info]swanemma
2012-07-24 03:55 am UTC (link)
Emma made a face because she felt a little bad about admitting that she thought he was losing his mind, but he was right. “Just a tiny bit. I couldn’t understand how you couldn’t have a heart or how a person could take it without you being dead. I figured you just weren’t feeling well or something and that was why you died that night,” she said the last bit softly. It had to be weird for him to hear about his death, but she really had no idea how else to say it.

A small smile slipped over her lips when his hand covered hers, enjoying this nice moment because deep down she had a feeling it wouldn’t end up lasting. How could they be happy when Regina was on board somewhere? Emma was learning that bitch wasn’t one that would back down and she really hated people happy causing her to wonder how she would ruin this. “Least I can do,” because she knew she couldn’t stand to lose him again though she didn’t need to voice all that aloud. “You should know a bunch of people cared about you in town and I was one of them,” she figured people did care about him even if no one really knew who they were. “Yeah, I figured as much, but I really don’t need you looking out for me,” she said before wanting to kick herself. Why was it so hard to let someone care for her without having to turn them down? For most, easy as pie but she had a hard time with allowing someone to watch out for her

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[info]cryoverwildlife
2012-07-24 04:12 am UTC (link)
"Oh, I know you don't need me looking out for you, Emma. I know that. You're smart and strong and independent, and I'm sure you could live the rest of your life without anyone ever looking after you. It was one of the things that attracted me to you, you know. I like a girl who can take care of herself; who doesn't need a lover to make her complete. I like a woman who can demand respect while wearing a cute red jacket. I like a woman willing go stand up for the things that matter. And you're all that."

He paused, surprised he had said so much. But it was all true and he wasn't about to take a word of if back.

"So, yes. I know you can take care of yourself. But why would you want to? Isn't if a lonely life?"

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[info]swanemma
2012-07-24 04:22 am UTC (link)
It was weird to hear someone say that aloud considering most people never really got that close to her or more she didn’t allow people to get that close. Keeping them at bay was good enough for her even if most never realized that she was doing just that. Though hearing someone say what they thought of her and it be in a good light was a little different for her, but she had to admit she liked it. “Is that what attracted you? I thought it was my love for trouble,” she teased slightly because the emotional stuff wasn’t her cup of tea. Though she couldn’t help but laugh about her jacket, “And this is a big step coming from the man who tried to get me to wear a tie. I think I might go into shock at hearing you say that.”

Most guys who were this sweet really never had her interest because she went for the men all wrong for her. Maybe part of that was because she felt that was what she deserved, but she found this side of a man rather cute on Graham. “Because it’s all I know and how I’ve always been,” she admitted to him before leaning forward to kiss him. Now that she was doing it without the fear of him going down, she found herself wanting to do it a little more and she just didn’t want to get into how screwed up she was at the moment. Emma was broken causing her to have no idea why he would want to mess with someone broken, but she didn’t want to say she was broken or people would think she was nuts.

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[info]cryoverwildlife
2012-07-24 04:37 am UTC (link)
"You would have looked cute in the tie, too," he grinned. "Or we could have worn vests together. Matched."

He kissed her back very softly, glad that she seemed to be losing her fear of it. He didn't think she was afraid of him, but rather the intimacy of letting someone get close enough to hurt you. And he felt terribly guilty that he had hurt her, even if if had never been intentional. Still...

"I'm sorry I probably made that worse. But my death had nothing to do with you. It was something I'd had coming for a long time. But she can't hurt me anymore. She can't kill me again. So...if you feel the same, we can have something. You don't have to be alone anymore."

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[info]swanemma
2012-07-24 04:57 am UTC (link)
“Oh god, are you one of those that enjoys matching with people? Cause seriously? Just no,” she said, laughing at the idea but so not going to happen. “Like I said that day I can get respect without it and I did,” she told him with a smile.

Emma still had the fear back in her mind, but she knew deep down that her mother was right and Emma did feel something for Graham. He gave her a chance when Regina kept trying to get her out of town, she felt something the night he kissed her even if she hated him for doing it when he had something with Regina, and he was important to her even if she wasn’t admitting it. “You can’t apologize for dying because it wasn’t your fault,” she told him softly. “Though right now I don’t really want to talk about that stuff,” she didn’t want to think about how she lost other people after him.

“I know she can’t but doesn’t mean she won’t try,” she pointed out to him because Regina seemed to make it a sport to see how she could break Emma or so it seemed. “Like I said we will go at our own pace and see what happens. I like you, but I don’t want to rush it. Rushing things never ends well, trust me,” she told him before kissing him again softly. “Maybe I should head back to my room for the night,” though she wasn’t even sure if she would end up going back to her room for bed.

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[info]cryoverwildlife
2012-07-24 04:12 pm UTC (link)
He laughed out loud at that.

"No, I'm most definitely not one of those people. Seriously? Do I look like one of those people?"

He'd honestly never cared all that much about what people wore, he just tried to look as nice as he could at work; professional. But he'd not grown up with much importance attached to fashion, and that had carried over to Storybrooke.

His face fell a bit when she mentioned leaving, even though he realized it was probably for the best.

"Right, yeah, okay," he said with a shrug, trying to seem nonchalant. "You'll message me if you need anything? Or...just because?"

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[info]swanemma
2012-07-24 05:47 pm UTC (link)
“No, but sometimes how a person can look isn’t exactly going to tell how a person might act,” she told him with a smirk. “Maybe you had me all fooled and you’re showing your true colors of one who enjoys matching.” The thought of that was so not one she even wanted to think about. Emma always found it weird when people matched or when a woman had to wear clothes to match her dog. The whole thing was just a disturbing thought.

Emma could tell he didn’t seem to like the idea, but she figured it was the best thing right now. If she stayed, she probably would have done something she wasn’t ready for. Leaning over she kissed him softly on the cheek before moving to stand up after grabbing one of the bottles. “I promise to message you later or if I need anything. Don’t go getting into trouble, alright?” She asked with a smile before moving over to the door to head back to her room.

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