InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Ain't nothin' but a thang"

loki (loki_doki) wrote in expresslogs,
@ 2012-06-18 21:01:00

Entry tags:

{loki laufeyson, {thor odinson

Characters: Thor and Loki Odinson
When: Slightly backdated to Sunday evening after all of the excitement in Clint's thread
Location: R 106-B, Loki's room
Warnings/Rating: Low. Too much brotherly love.
Summary: Thor comes to visit his little brother. Loki is completely innocent and loveable.
Status: Closed/Ongoing

Loki hadn't been lying when he'd said he'd remained in his room, looking at the monochrome world outside. He had no intention of going wandering around the train, unnecessarily exciting Clint or giving Thor reason to doubt him. No, Loki had every intention of behaving. Every intention of assuring his brother of the story he had provided him with.

It wasn't that Loki enjoyed lying. He didn't enjoy fabricating these tales, but it was the only way he could see to make Thor treat him with some respect, to give him some leeway and some kindness. Had it been known that Loki was no more than a common prisoner he had no doubt he wouldn't stand a chance. That Thor wouldn't listen to a damn word he said, nor allow him any freedom for fear of him killing everyone. Which wasn't, in hindsight, an unfair assumption, but Loki wanted more. He wanted so start off at least attempting some level footing.

So he didn't like lying, because it was Thor and, no matter what, Thor was his brother. The only person in all of the nine realms Loki could honestly say he cared for. It was just necessary to ensure he maintained his brother's love.

Loki sat in his room mulling over this idea. He was still clad in the clothes he had arrived in, though they were not the clothes of a prisoner, just his. He wasn't one to make a show of his emotions, but the truth was he was going to be glad to see Thor.

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

loki_doki
2012-06-22 05:30 pm UTC (link)

Loki's hand dropped as Thor walked away, his expression still pained even as he returned.

"Fine," he agreed without question. It was fine. He didn't want to be here particularly, so it was no hardship to stay in his room. "I have no qualms with that. I have no desire to leave my room even, so there is no issue." Loki rubbed the bridge of his nose sullenly. "Am I that much of a monster, Thor? You will tell me the truth. You can be assured I have no intention of emulating it."

There was a little bit of ego involved in asking, but ultimately he wanted to hear it from his brother. He wanted to hear the whole sorry defeat from the side of the victors. Because Loki knew where he had messed up. It had gone a long way back, the spiralling mistakes. But Loki wanted to hear. It was from that he'd be able to work out whether there was any way back.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

wields_mjolnir
2012-06-23 04:47 am UTC (link)

"Are you a monster? You attacked the innocent, Loki. You killed people for what seemed like nothing more than your own pleasure. You attacked a civilian population with an Alien army against which they stood no chance. And you attacked an entire world that had done you no wrong, because you felt slighted. And you killed my friend in front of my eyes, Loki. Finding forgiveness for that will be difficult indeed."

He crossed his muscular arms across his chest.

"It was cruelty and selfishness I did not know that you had inside you, brother, and it pained me greatly to see you do such things. I saw a side of you I never wished to see, and that cannot be unseen. I do not know a man who could perform such cruelty, and enjoy it."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

loki_doki
2012-06-23 06:17 pm UTC (link)

Loki folding his fingers together, pressing them to his lips as he gazed at his brother.

"So whether I am guilty or whether I am yet to have committed these crimes I am going to be punished for them. I see. There is nothing I can do. You have all made your decision and my innocence does not even come into question. The idea that I have done nothing and could be persuaded out of such a course isn't even up for debate, I see. And yet you judge me. You have the audacity to judge me."

He laughed bitterly, turning away from Thor, staring out at the black and white landscape as it flew by.

"What will you have me do? Remain in here until you can be sure I will not cause harm to anyone? Or will you always harbour this doubt? Is there no part of you that wonders if your brother made a mistake or was lead by necessity? No part of you that wonders if he just needed-" Loki stopped himself, shaking his head as though it were impossible to speak any more.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

wields_mjolnir
2012-06-24 04:52 am UTC (link)

"A great part of me wonders at your reasons for what you did, Loki. But if you are from when you say you are, you cannot tell me the answers I seek. You cannot tell me what led you down the path where you became lost to me. You cannot explain to me the actions that took my dearest brother from me."

He shook his head, the sadness apparent in his eyes and in his bearing.

"I am sorry, Loki, but I cannot erase what I have seen. I cannot erase seeing you murder a dear friend before my eyes, when you knew I could do nothing. I wish that I could. I wish that I could set my hurt aside and look at you without bias, but you have done evil, and these things are not so easily forgotten. It is unfair, yes, and it hurts me that I judge you when you have not yet done the things I judge you for. And I will try to see past these, because despite it all, I love you."

He strode forwards to Loki, putting his hand on his brother's shoulder.

"We must be patient with each other. I promise that I will try to be so, if you will. I will try to realize that the man who caused such hurt is not the one who stands before me."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

loki_doki
2012-06-24 04:20 pm UTC (link)

"Our father lied to me, Thor. Our father kidnapped me and brought me up to use me. I know it matters not to you, and for that I am and will always be incredibly grateful, but do you not think perhaps that had something to do with my downfall? That perhaps I sought only to get his approval, to persuade him to love me as much as he loves you?" Loki bit out. Because that had been true, hadn't it? He had wanted to prove himself to their father. He had wanted to save Asgard, to be the hero rather than Thor.

"Perhaps I had reasons for attacking earth. I don't feel evil in my heart. I don't feel evil, no matter my parentage," he sighed, once more rubbing the bridge of his nose in his frustration. "Perhaps there was no other way. Perhaps-" How far could he go without rousing suspicions?

Loki glanced at the hand on his shoulder. His big brother, so trusting. Always trying to see the good in him, always affirming his love for Loki, tempting him back to the side of good.

He lifted his eyes to meet Thor's, smiling softly, resigned. "If I were evil I don't think I could possibly love you as I do, brother. Granted you are the only one in the nine realms-" Loki nudged the other man gently. "But I will honour your patience. You have my word, King of Asgard," he teased.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

wields_mjolnir
2012-06-25 04:51 am UTC (link)

Thor's face hardened as he looked at his brother, but it was towards their father his disapproval was directed, not towards Loki.

"What father did to you was wrong," he said firmly. "I knew nothing of it, I never did, not until after it was known to you. If I had, I would have told you of it sooner, for you deserved to know. But Loki, did not father do you a great service as well? You had been left to die, and he brought you to Asgard, raised you as his own, we grew as brothers because of what he did. And I cannot regret that, no matter what happened afterwards. You are my dear and beloved brother because father chose to do what he did. Can you not see the good in it? Can you see only evil in his actions?"

He smiled very slightly at his last words.

"Thank you, Loki. You will see that it is for the best."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

loki_doki
2012-06-25 07:45 pm UTC (link)

"I know," Loki nodded. "I know you didn't know. I know you would have said something." Because Thor would have. Thor would have done whatever he thought was best for him. "And yes, brother, I know that too. And I will always be thankful for that, for the opportunities and for this- for this kinship."

He shook his head, his face dropping, his heart breaking a little. "I just wanted him to love me the way he loved you. That's all. I just wanted a chance, Thor. I wanted a chance to prove I could do what you did. I could do it better, even-" Loki laughed sadly. "I wanted a chance to be his son too."

With a sigh, Loki turned fully towards his brother, reaching out to place his hand against Thor's impressively muscled arm. The contrast between the two of them was rather amusing. "I know it is," he nodded. "I know." He moved his hand to the side of Thor's neck, the affectionate touch the other man had used on him so many times when imploring him to come home.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

wields_mjolnir
2012-06-26 04:04 am UTC (link)

"You were his son, Loki. You are his son. Not by birth, perhaps, but by everything that matters. He raised you as his own, did he not? Gave you everything that I had. Were you treated poorly? Did I receive anything you did not? You were his son in every way, Loki. Just as you are my brother."

"We shall have peace then, brother? Here, on this train, there shall be no trouble?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

loki_doki
2012-06-26 08:31 pm UTC (link)

"I don't ask you to understand how it felt for me, Thor. Your shadow was great and I could not step out from beneath it. I believed you to be too hot headed to rule sufficiently. I wanted a chance-" Loki sighed and then let himself laugh. Well, here was his chance. To make everything just a little bit better.

"I had no intention of causing any trouble, Thor. The thought hadn't crossed my mind until everyone else started mentioning my blinding downfall." That was probably not funny. "I want peace, brother. I don't wish to be on my own. I don't wish to be this outcast I feel."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

wields_mjolnir
2012-06-28 02:10 am UTC (link)

"Indeed, there was a time when I would have burned Asgard to the ground with the hotheadedness of which you speak," he said with a sigh. "But that time is in the past. I have learned my lesson, and suffered greatly since then. I am not that foolish boy you remember, Loki."

He sighed, then nodded, putting his hand gently on his brother's arm.

"Then you will do as I say? Things will be simpler if you do not cause trouble, Loki. There are too many here who have been burned by you before, even if you do not remember it."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

loki_doki
2012-06-28 01:47 pm UTC (link)

"For the last time, brother, I have no intention of doing anything unpleasant. I am no fool. If what you have told me is true, why would I wish to anger people who can restrain me with ease?" No, Loki wasn't stupid. He'd learnt the last time that he couldn't win. And the ternal upset of his brothyer was certainly not worth any risk. "Please, be assured I desire nothing ut peace here."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	wields_mjolnir 2012-06-28 10:07 pm UTC (link)
	Thor smiled trustingly, feeling that he and his brother had reached a comfortable consensus on the matter. "I am glad to hear it, brother. I think that your presence here will be an asset to the train, if you are as you say. Would you like to come to my room, perhaps? I have mead there, and we can drink on it." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

sorry for all the typos in the last post! stupid phone

loki_doki
2012-06-28 10:32 pm UTC (link)

"You flatter me, Thor," Loki said, almost beaming at the smile on his brother's face. "I do not know how I could possibly be an asset, but I will not cause any deliberate harm to anyone." He really couldn't keep the grin from his face. Just from his brother's happiness, not the success of his deception. Loki knew it would emerge eventually, but if he could use that time to prove himself to Thor at least then it would hopefully be worth it. If he could redeem himself before the true nature of his person was revealed- It was risky, but risky was the only way.

"Brother, you know I am not as steady a drinker as you," he joked. "You have drunk me under the table every time since I can remember.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

wields_mjolnir
2012-06-29 02:50 am UTC (link)

"So I have," he grinned, knowing such to be the truth long before he asked Loki to join him for a pint. "Still, I should like to drink with you, brother. We do not have to fall into the deepest stages of inebriation if you would prefer not to, but I think I should like a bit to drink, to calm the nerves after all that has happened recently. Does it not sound relaxing to you as well? Come, brother. I shall not embarrass you too badly. Or at least not in public."

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(Read comments) -