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loki ([info]loki_doki) wrote in [info]expresslogs,
@ 2012-06-18 21:01:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:{loki laufeyson, {thor odinson

Characters: Thor and Loki Odinson
When: Slightly backdated to Sunday evening after all of the excitement in Clint's thread
Location: R 106-B, Loki's room
Warnings/Rating: Low. Too much brotherly love.
Summary: Thor comes to visit his little brother. Loki is completely innocent and loveable.
Status: Closed/Ongoing



Loki hadn't been lying when he'd said he'd remained in his room, looking at the monochrome world outside. He had no intention of going wandering around the train, unnecessarily exciting Clint or giving Thor reason to doubt him. No, Loki had every intention of behaving. Every intention of assuring his brother of the story he had provided him with.

It wasn't that Loki enjoyed lying. He didn't enjoy fabricating these tales, but it was the only way he could see to make Thor treat him with some respect, to give him some leeway and some kindness. Had it been known that Loki was no more than a common prisoner he had no doubt he wouldn't stand a chance. That Thor wouldn't listen to a damn word he said, nor allow him any freedom for fear of him killing everyone. Which wasn't, in hindsight, an unfair assumption, but Loki wanted more. He wanted so start off at least attempting some level footing.

So he didn't like lying, because it was Thor and, no matter what, Thor was his brother. The only person in all of the nine realms Loki could honestly say he cared for. It was just necessary to ensure he maintained his brother's love.

Loki sat in his room mulling over this idea. He was still clad in the clothes he had arrived in, though they were not the clothes of a prisoner, just his. He wasn't one to make a show of his emotions, but the truth was he was going to be glad to see Thor.


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[info]wields_mjolnir
2012-06-19 10:13 pm UTC (link)
To say that Thor was troubled would be a vast understatement. He loved his brother, dearly, but the words he spoke acted like salt in a wound, bringing a great deal more pain to a situation that was already nearly unbearable.

Loki had done nothing yet, if he was telling the truth. But the things that he would do were unforgivable, and the seed of that was in him, no matter when he came from. So he needed to be careful, very careful, about every word he said, careful not to give his brother the reasons he needed to change into the monster that would attack Manhattan and destroy all those innocent lives.

It still made him ill, what Loki had done. He could not understand what would drive someone to such evil, to such destruction. Such things were not in his heart, and he was glad of it. He only wished desperately that they were not in his brother's.

When he reached the door, he took a deep breath, centering himself as best he could before knocking.

"Loki, brother, are you within?"

[Sorry I took so long to reply, IJ has been a pain!]

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[info]loki_doki
2012-06-20 05:16 pm UTC (link)
[that's okay! it is being a pain at the moment D=]

Loki turned his head towards the door, hearing his brother's voice on the other side of it. He looked around him, checking his room for- well, he didn't know. He didn't have anything.

He'd come empty handed and remained as such in the few days he had been here.

Loki wandered to the door, opening it a crack and peering out at his brother, checking that he was alone. Not that he didn't trust Thor. Of all of the people in all of the worlds Thor was the one he trusted.

"Brother," he greeted, pulling the door open fully to allow him in. "It's good to see you. I have to say, it's been a little lonely in here," Loki laughed weakly.

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[info]wields_mjolnir
2012-06-21 03:17 am UTC (link)
"I am truly sorry for that, Loki. I am sure that it has been unpleasant. But it must be so, both for your sake, and the sake of those who your presence makes uncomfortable. I do not want anything happening that could endanger anyone's safety, including yours, Loki."

Thor came in to the room, waiting until Loki closed the door behind him.

"There is much we should talk about, Brother. So that you understand."

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[info]loki_doki
2012-06-21 08:58 am UTC (link)
"I understand," Loki closed the door, leaning back against it for a moment before he approached his brother. "I understand. It is just- forgive me, I respect your decisions, brother. I will not go against you- I appeared here seeking you. I appeared here because I needed you to come home. You know what father did to me and yes, I'm a mess right now, Thor. I have a million thoughts pounding through my head but with none of them do I mean you harm."

He moved around to face Thor, standing in front of him. "I've heard that I've killed many humans. I've heard of a lot of things I've done, brother, but I don't understand what you will have me do. Even if that had been my intention and even if I were lying what would you have me do? We are trapped here, brother. I have obeyed you and remained in this one room and I will continue to do so if it'll mean you don't leave me because I have no one else in the world, Thor."

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[info]wields_mjolnir
2012-06-22 01:14 am UTC (link)
"I have...not yet decided what I would have you do, brother. I have not been on this train long yet myself, and I do not know it and its ways well enough to predict or presume what would be most advantageous - for you, and for the innocent citizens of the train."

He took a few steps, not quite pacing, but obviously struggling with his thoughts.

"I wish to trust you, Loki. I wish to trust you because of our love, and because you have promised that there is no reason that I should not. And yet...yet I have learned that trusting you can put innocent people in danger, and I have sworn to protect the people of Midgard, who are for the most part the people of this train. So I am...cautious, brother, although it pains me to be so. How will you prove to me that you are not a threat?"

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[info]loki_doki
2012-06-22 09:20 am UTC (link)
Loki waited patiently for Thor to gather his thoughts or come to whatever conclusions he needed to come to. Whatever he decided, Loki would comply with. He had more to lose than the simple freedom of walking around a train.

"I will do as you bid of me, brother. Whatever you ask. I wish to have your trust, for you to believe that whatever it is you think of me can change, or be proved false. You believe me to be this unlawful creature who will cause destruction on a whim-" there had been so many factors. So many things. Slipping from his control. He didn't want to be so alone.

"You may be as cautious as you wish-" Loki moved around his brother, always facing him. He placed a hand against Thor's solid chest. "You may ask anything of me. If you wish me to remain in my room I shall. If you desire that I accompany you everywhere then I shall."

It was a dangerous line to walk down. Because one day, no doubt, Thor would find out that he was lying. But if he could have a month, two months of showing compliance, amending silently for his previous actions, perhaps he would be show some just treatment.

"You are so full of distrust, brother, like everyone else. I admit- I admit that father's deceit sparked something inside me that I did not feel before. I feel like a homeless creature, Thor." Loki didn't need to act the pain that crept across his features as he balled his fist and feebly hit Thor's chest. As though he could make any impact.

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[info]wields_mjolnir
2012-06-22 05:15 pm UTC (link)
"It was not right of father to keep it from you," he agreed. "But you are not homeless, Loki. You are still my brother - I care not what blood may run in your veins."

He paced the length of the room, then back again, before stopping to face his brother.

"I think it best that you do not leave this room unaccompanied. You do not have to follow me wherever I go, nor do you have to remain here at all times. But I ask that if you wish to leave, you have me accompany you. I think it would make the others aboard whom you have injured more comfortable, and it shall also ensure that you yourself are not in more danger than necessary. Is this acceptable to you?"

His eyes were soft, and full of pain as he looked at his brother, his heart torn as to how he should act. Loki had done wrong, it could not be denied, but he did not wish to punish him for actions that had not yet come to pass. And the truth was that even despite the evil he had committed, Thor was loathe to give up on his brother completely.

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[info]loki_doki
2012-06-22 05:30 pm UTC (link)
Loki's hand dropped as Thor walked away, his expression still pained even as he returned.

"Fine," he agreed without question. It was fine. He didn't want to be here particularly, so it was no hardship to stay in his room. "I have no qualms with that. I have no desire to leave my room even, so there is no issue." Loki rubbed the bridge of his nose sullenly. "Am I that much of a monster, Thor? You will tell me the truth. You can be assured I have no intention of emulating it."

There was a little bit of ego involved in asking, but ultimately he wanted to hear it from his brother. He wanted to hear the whole sorry defeat from the side of the victors. Because Loki knew where he had messed up. It had gone a long way back, the spiralling mistakes. But Loki wanted to hear. It was from that he'd be able to work out whether there was any way back.

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[info]wields_mjolnir
2012-06-23 04:47 am UTC (link)
"Are you a monster? You attacked the innocent, Loki. You killed people for what seemed like nothing more than your own pleasure. You attacked a civilian population with an Alien army against which they stood no chance. And you attacked an entire world that had done you no wrong, because you felt slighted. And you killed my friend in front of my eyes, Loki. Finding forgiveness for that will be difficult indeed."

He crossed his muscular arms across his chest.

"It was cruelty and selfishness I did not know that you had inside you, brother, and it pained me greatly to see you do such things. I saw a side of you I never wished to see, and that cannot be unseen. I do not know a man who could perform such cruelty, and enjoy it."

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[info]loki_doki
2012-06-23 06:17 pm UTC (link)
Loki folding his fingers together, pressing them to his lips as he gazed at his brother.

"So whether I am guilty or whether I am yet to have committed these crimes I am going to be punished for them. I see. There is nothing I can do. You have all made your decision and my innocence does not even come into question. The idea that I have done nothing and could be persuaded out of such a course isn't even up for debate, I see. And yet you judge me. You have the audacity to judge me."

He laughed bitterly, turning away from Thor, staring out at the black and white landscape as it flew by.

"What will you have me do? Remain in here until you can be sure I will not cause harm to anyone? Or will you always harbour this doubt? Is there no part of you that wonders if your brother made a mistake or was lead by necessity? No part of you that wonders if he just needed-" Loki stopped himself, shaking his head as though it were impossible to speak any more.

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[info]wields_mjolnir
2012-06-24 04:52 am UTC (link)
"A great part of me wonders at your reasons for what you did, Loki. But if you are from when you say you are, you cannot tell me the answers I seek. You cannot tell me what led you down the path where you became lost to me. You cannot explain to me the actions that took my dearest brother from me."

He shook his head, the sadness apparent in his eyes and in his bearing.

"I am sorry, Loki, but I cannot erase what I have seen. I cannot erase seeing you murder a dear friend before my eyes, when you knew I could do nothing. I wish that I could. I wish that I could set my hurt aside and look at you without bias, but you have done evil, and these things are not so easily forgotten. It is unfair, yes, and it hurts me that I judge you when you have not yet done the things I judge you for. And I will try to see past these, because despite it all, I love you."

He strode forwards to Loki, putting his hand on his brother's shoulder.

"We must be patient with each other. I promise that I will try to be so, if you will. I will try to realize that the man who caused such hurt is not the one who stands before me."

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[info]loki_doki
2012-06-24 04:20 pm UTC (link)
"Our father lied to me, Thor. Our father kidnapped me and brought me up to use me. I know it matters not to you, and for that I am and will always be incredibly grateful, but do you not think perhaps that had something to do with my downfall? That perhaps I sought only to get his approval, to persuade him to love me as much as he loves you?" Loki bit out. Because that had been true, hadn't it? He had wanted to prove himself to their father. He had wanted to save Asgard, to be the hero rather than Thor.

"Perhaps I had reasons for attacking earth. I don't feel evil in my heart. I don't feel evil, no matter my parentage," he sighed, once more rubbing the bridge of his nose in his frustration. "Perhaps there was no other way. Perhaps-" How far could he go without rousing suspicions?

Loki glanced at the hand on his shoulder. His big brother, so trusting. Always trying to see the good in him, always affirming his love for Loki, tempting him back to the side of good.

He lifted his eyes to meet Thor's, smiling softly, resigned. "If I were evil I don't think I could possibly love you as I do, brother. Granted you are the only one in the nine realms-" Loki nudged the other man gently. "But I will honour your patience. You have my word, King of Asgard," he teased.

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[info]wields_mjolnir
2012-06-25 04:51 am UTC (link)
Thor's face hardened as he looked at his brother, but it was towards their father his disapproval was directed, not towards Loki.

"What father did to you was wrong," he said firmly. "I knew nothing of it, I never did, not until after it was known to you. If I had, I would have told you of it sooner, for you deserved to know. But Loki, did not father do you a great service as well? You had been left to die, and he brought you to Asgard, raised you as his own, we grew as brothers because of what he did. And I cannot regret that, no matter what happened afterwards. You are my dear and beloved brother because father chose to do what he did. Can you not see the good in it? Can you see only evil in his actions?"

He smiled very slightly at his last words.

"Thank you, Loki. You will see that it is for the best."

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[info]loki_doki
2012-06-25 07:45 pm UTC (link)
"I know," Loki nodded. "I know you didn't know. I know you would have said something." Because Thor would have. Thor would have done whatever he thought was best for him. "And yes, brother, I know that too. And I will always be thankful for that, for the opportunities and for this- for this kinship."

He shook his head, his face dropping, his heart breaking a little. "I just wanted him to love me the way he loved you. That's all. I just wanted a chance, Thor. I wanted a chance to prove I could do what you did. I could do it better, even-" Loki laughed sadly. "I wanted a chance to be his son too."

With a sigh, Loki turned fully towards his brother, reaching out to place his hand against Thor's impressively muscled arm. The contrast between the two of them was rather amusing. "I know it is," he nodded. "I know." He moved his hand to the side of Thor's neck, the affectionate touch the other man had used on him so many times when imploring him to come home.

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[info]wields_mjolnir
2012-06-26 04:04 am UTC (link)
"You were his son, Loki. You are his son. Not by birth, perhaps, but by everything that matters. He raised you as his own, did he not? Gave you everything that I had. Were you treated poorly? Did I receive anything you did not? You were his son in every way, Loki. Just as you are my brother."

"We shall have peace then, brother? Here, on this train, there shall be no trouble?"

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[info]loki_doki
2012-06-26 08:31 pm UTC (link)
"I don't ask you to understand how it felt for me, Thor. Your shadow was great and I could not step out from beneath it. I believed you to be too hot headed to rule sufficiently. I wanted a chance-" Loki sighed and then let himself laugh. Well, here was his chance. To make everything just a little bit better.

"I had no intention of causing any trouble, Thor. The thought hadn't crossed my mind until everyone else started mentioning my blinding downfall." That was probably not funny. "I want peace, brother. I don't wish to be on my own. I don't wish to be this outcast I feel."

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[info]wields_mjolnir
2012-06-28 02:10 am UTC (link)
"Indeed, there was a time when I would have burned Asgard to the ground with the hotheadedness of which you speak," he said with a sigh. "But that time is in the past. I have learned my lesson, and suffered greatly since then. I am not that foolish boy you remember, Loki."

He sighed, then nodded, putting his hand gently on his brother's arm.

"Then you will do as I say? Things will be simpler if you do not cause trouble, Loki. There are too many here who have been burned by you before, even if you do not remember it."

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[info]loki_doki
2012-06-28 01:47 pm UTC (link)
"For the last time, brother, I have no intention of doing anything unpleasant. I am no fool. If what you have told me is true, why would I wish to anger people who can restrain me with ease?" No, Loki wasn't stupid. He'd learnt the last time that he couldn't win. And the ternal upset of his brothyer was certainly not worth any risk. "Please, be assured I desire nothing ut peace here."

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[info]wields_mjolnir
2012-06-28 10:07 pm UTC (link)
Thor smiled trustingly, feeling that he and his brother had reached a comfortable consensus on the matter.

"I am glad to hear it, brother. I think that your presence here will be an asset to the train, if you are as you say. Would you like to come to my room, perhaps? I have mead there, and we can drink on it."

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sorry for all the typos in the last post! stupid phone
[info]loki_doki
2012-06-28 10:32 pm UTC (link)
"You flatter me, Thor," Loki said, almost beaming at the smile on his brother's face. "I do not know how I could possibly be an asset, but I will not cause any deliberate harm to anyone." He really couldn't keep the grin from his face. Just from his brother's happiness, not the success of his deception. Loki knew it would emerge eventually, but if he could use that time to prove himself to Thor at least then it would hopefully be worth it. If he could redeem himself before the true nature of his person was revealed- It was risky, but risky was the only way.

"Brother, you know I am not as steady a drinker as you," he joked. "You have drunk me under the table every time since I can remember.

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[info]wields_mjolnir
2012-06-29 02:50 am UTC (link)
"So I have," he grinned, knowing such to be the truth long before he asked Loki to join him for a pint. "Still, I should like to drink with you, brother. We do not have to fall into the deepest stages of inebriation if you would prefer not to, but I think I should like a bit to drink, to calm the nerves after all that has happened recently. Does it not sound relaxing to you as well? Come, brother. I shall not embarrass you too badly. Or at least not in public."

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