WHAT: robbie comes back after the scarecrow incident WHERE: outside pickman WHEN: after this WARNINGS: memory loss, paranoia, claustrophobia, violence STATUS: completed
Robbie really wasn’t sure what happened still. Was it even real? He’d been hours under that tree, it was some… obscene hour in the morning now and he didn’t even know how that had happened. He’d lost his phone, his clothes were gone. He didn’t even shift back when he was found, simply ran as a wolf back to Pickman with the pack.
It didn’t take long to get back, and Robbie was calmed only by the scent of Isaac wafting through the air as they approached Pickman. Still refusing to shift back, he sauntered up to Isaac as a wolf, whining a little as he pushed his head against Isaac’s knees, setting his head in his lap.
He looked up, apologetic, whimpering a little and shaking, the big gray wolf with the black stripes running along his face looking a little worse for wear than he usually did.
Isaac couldn't wait inside. He knew he needed to stay at Pickman in case Robbie came back, since he wasn't as good at tracking as the other wolves would be, but it felt like the walls were all closing in on him. He sat on the steps instead, wringing his hands, waiting.
He didn't know where Robbie could be. Carter said he didn't think he was gone, but here didn't mean safe. He felt helpless until he saw the wolf padding up to him.
He leaned forward with a soft sob, wrapping his arms around Robbie, his face pressed into his fur. “You're late for dinner,” he told him.
Robbie whined again at the hug, letting his head press hard into Isaac's neck as they hugged. Robbie wanted to explain, so he wiggled out of Isaac's arms and tugged on his pants with his teeth, urging him to follow as he made his way to his room.
When both of them were safely inside Robbie shifted back to himself, his skin showing what the fur had been hiding. He was streaked with blood and dirt, and before he could do anything else he broke out into tears.
Robbie was a horrible sight, and Isaac felt his stomach drop into his feet as he looked at him, gaze darting up and down, trying to find an injury.
“What happened?” he took him into his arms, trying to be careful but also needing so badly to hold onto him for a minute. He was a mess. Isaac didn't know what to do; his hands were shaking, and he hated that a part of it was from being inside. Now wasn't the time for the claustrophobe, he had more to worry about right now.
He'd already healed from the injuries, no bruises or trace of cuts left behind, just the telling blood and dirt mixed together. He wasn't so gentle with Isaac, once he felt his arms around him he held him tight, finding comfort in the action.
“I - I don't even know. I found an orchard. There was a…” He hesitated, because it seemed so ridiculous now but he was shaking too, more as he thought about it and he quieted, pulling away from Isaac.
He remembered, some things. Bad things. “I heard him. Ezra… Robert.”
Isaac was sure his blood froze in his veins. “He's here?” His arms tightened and he held Robbie closer, and he took a slow deep breath. His heart was pounding in his chest, part anger and the threat of danger, wanting to go and find Robert and rip him limb from limb. And part because that room was too small.
“Tell me where he is, I'll - the pack and me, we'll, everybody, we'll take care of him. He'll pay.”
“I don't know, I didn't see him.” He panicked a little, wanting to hold Isaac in place. “We don't - I saw him take Kelly’s wolf. The whole pack almost… No, it's - something must have been mimicking his voice, maybe, I don't know if he's here but we can't go after him not now not like this not -” Ever, maybe, because Robbie missed Ezra and the words died in his throat, in confusion.
He kissed Isaac's cheek gently. “Let me- I need to shower and get dressed and then can we.. Can we go somewhere? Anywhere. I don't want to be here.” He was feeling anxious, stuck, and something else from Isaac, assuming they were both just a bit high strung right now.
“There's more people here, if they can fight a Sea God they can fight him,” Isaac told Robbie, shaking his head a little. “If it's him, we'll find someone who can make sure that asshole never hurts anyone again.”
He nodded, and he was keyed up, a nervous energy in him that made him want to pace like a caged animal. “Yeah, okay. Outside, let's - we'll go somewhere outside?” He didn't want to be inside. The thought of spending any time in a place so tiny made his skin crawl.
“I was so worried,” he told him, looking down at him. “I'm so glad you're okay.”
“Not yet. I don't - let me think.” He said, huffing a little in exhaustion and confusion all mixed up. He smelled like dirt and blood and not enough like pack, like Isaac, and it was stressing him out.
He nodded, agreeing that outside was alright, thought he'd prefer to be inside. “I'm just gonna shower real quick and - and then I'll, we can talk about it.” Not that he wanted to. He was going to sound crazy. “Just don't leave me.” He added, the pleading obvious in his voice.
He kissed Isaac gently, before grabbing a towel and some clothes. He didn't bother shutting the bathroom door.
Isaac nodded at the question, that little plea that broke his heart. He wouldn't leave him. Isaac kissed him back just as soft and moved toward the bathroom after him.
He sat on the floor just inside the bathroom, with his hand on the door frame. It helped, sometimes, it told him that it was open. Not closed. Not trapped.
He sat and waited, still so worried.
The hot shower felt nice, and if Isaac wasn't out there waiting for him he thought he might have just stayed there. Maybe let himself drown a little. So he didn't think about the thing he was remembering.
He didn't, though, because Isaac was waiting and so he showered very quickly, moving just as fast to dry himself off and put some clothes on. Taking Isaac by the hand, he led them both wordlessly outside until they were behind Pickman, and he leaned against the back of the house, sliding down to sit.
“There was a… for lack of a better word, scarecrow.”
Isaac tried to ignore the relief that washed over him the moment they were outside. He didn't want to be having a bad day with his claustrophobia, not now. He knew it had to be stress-related but still. It was just getting in the way.
He sat next to Robbie, reaching over for his hand. “A scarecrow?” he asked him.
He frowned a little. “Sounds creepy,” he added. An orchard, a scarecrow, the voice of an evil witch. Not at all a good day.
“It moved.” He wasn't even sure it was a scarecrow, if he was being honest. “Literally ran after me. That's how I lost my phone and my clothes, I turned into a wolf to get away.”
With his hand firmly in Isaac's, he felt a little stronger. Robbie rested his head on Isaac's shoulder, unsure of how to tell him exactly what happened. “I don't know if it was that thing or… something else but I heard him, he was talking to me.”
And after some hesitation, “And I remembered some things.”
He'd been totally right. It sounded completely creepy. Isaac shivered at the thought of a scarecrow chasing him, chasing Robbie, and he tilted his head to rest it in Robbie's.
He switched which hand was holding Robbie's so he could wrap his arm around his shoulders too, keeping him close.
“What did you remember?” he asked him, his voice quiet like he was afraid of being too loud.
God it felt nice here, in his arms like that. Comforting. It felt like home. The closest he'd felt to that since he was a kid. Closest to feeling all he'd ever wanted to feel.
It was terrifying. What if he wasn't real, either?
“I… thought it was a dream, it wasn't real but… I attacked two of the pack, the one in my world, my pack. I remember doing it.”
He held Isaac's hand harder, hoping it didn't send him running.
Isaac turned his head to press a kiss to the side of Robbie's, nuzzling closer. Robbie needed to smell like him again, even if Isaac couldn't really smell it that well. He knew Robbie could.
“I know you,” he told him quietly but firmly. “ I know what you'd do if you were in control of yourself and attacking your own pack isn't it. Your head’s been screwed around with.”
He squeezed his shoulders, squeezed his hand. Wished they could get closer but they were already pressed tight together. “It's not your fault.”
He did need that, and the reassurance that Isaac wasn't going anywhere. It helped, too, that Isaac smelled so much like him. So much like pack. He rubbed his face along Isaac’s shoulder, his nose softly hitting Isaac’s jaw.
“It could be, though. I don't remember how Ezra got ahold of me. Maybe I went willingly. Maybe that was before he even…” If he even did anything. Modified his memories. It could still all be a lie.
Robbie felt his heart starting to race, unsure about everything now. Maybe he was bad, and shouldn't be around Isaac. Or anyone. Maybe Isaac was Ezra, and that's why he felt so at home. Maybe, maybe, maybe.
He froze, stuck in his thoughts.
“No,” Isaac shook his head. “No way. Robbie,” he looked down at him, brow furrowing, frown on his face. He looked like he was a mile away. He could hear his heart racing.
“Hey. Can you hear me?” he asked him. “You wouldn't do that. I know you wouldn't. Please,” he reached down to stroke his cheek, just wanting him to look him in the eye so he'd hear him, maybe listen to what he was saying.
“Please don't. Please don't think that about yourself, okay? You wouldn't do that willingly.”
Robbie flinched when he heard that - can you hear me?. He looked at Isaac, almost terrified for a second until he blinked, focusing his eyes. Could he trust his eyes? It looked like Isaac.
Then again, Ezra had looked like Ezra until he didn't.
Then the pleading, and it wasn't Isaac’s voice he was hearing anymore and Robbie stood up, pulling away from Isaac, choking back a sob. “Don't - don't do that don't say that. Why are you doing this?”
Isaac looked up at him, completely stunned. He didn't know what he'd done, what he'd said wrong. Was there something going on with Robbie, did someone get in his head?
Was it Ezra? Or Robert? Or the scarecrow?
He got to his feet, reaching out to take his hands. “What's going on? It's okay, Robbie, whatever it is, we can figure it out. Please,” he pleaded with him softly.
“Tell me what's going on.”
Robbie almost pulled his hands away, but let Isaac take them again. “Nothing, nothing is going on. I - I'm just still a little fucked from what happened.” He was being paranoid, but he knew Isaac, didn't he?
Wouldn't he be able to smell if it was Ezra?
He went back into Isaac's arms and held him there, shaking from head to toe. “I'm scared, Isaac. What if he is here?”
Robbie was terrified. Isaac wrapped his arms around him and held him close. He could feel him shaking. “It's going to be okay. I'm here for you, whatever happens. It's going to be okay,” he repeated.
He knew better than to promise that but he did he anyway.
“If he's here then we'll deal with him. We'll make sure he pays for what he did to you,” he added, fiercely. He wanted to make that bastard hurt.
Breathing deep, he held onto Isaac like his life depended on it. Maybe it did, or maybe just his sanity. He felt like he was going to lose it any minute.
In a whisper, he heard can you hear me, dear? and his mind went blank, claws extending from his fingers, fangs forming in his mouth.
“What did you just say?” He asked, releasing Isaac, little indentations where his claws has sunk in. “Did you just say something?”
hr>
A breath caught in his throat, in a hiss, at the sudden little burst of pain. Claws sank into him, reminded him of Derek or Peter or Deucalion. He'd heal in just a second, it wasn't like Robbie’s were alpha’s claws.
“I didn't say anything,” he told him, blinking away the confusion. “Robbie,” his voice went soft, concerned.
“Are you okay?”
“But I heard… I heard…” Did he? Did he hear anything? He looked around, sniffing, trying to find him. There was no smell of ozone in the air, no sign of anyone else around. Just Isaac and Robbie.
He looked at Isaac, his expression crumpled, distressed.
“I don't know. I don't think so. I - I need… I need Gordo and Mark and Carter.” He finally said, still shaking. “And you. I think he's here and it's not safe and I'm not safe if he is here.”
“Then we'll get them here, or - or go to them, or something, whatever you think. We'll keep you safe.” Isaac promised him. He didn't know what to do if he really was here. But the pack needed to know about it.
He tried not to let it sting, that Robbie needed the rest of the pack first. They could protect him better, better than Isaac could. He was just a beta, practically an omega wolf. Without a pack, weak. He couldn't blame Robbie for needing Gordo and Mark and Carter first. They were his real pack. Robbie wasn't Isaac's.
“We'll tell them what's going on, they'll know what to do,” he promised.
“It's not what you're thinking.” He could feel the blue, and while he wasn't exactly sure what Isaac was upset about, he could guess. Robbie would have felt the same way, if Isaac needed someone else.
“Ezra - he's - sorry, it's Robert. Gordo’s father. Mark knows him, Carter does too. And they can… trap me.” Gordo could, at least. “I can't ask you to do that.”
He pulled Isaac forward enough so that he could kiss him, hard and needy and so blue and he left his forehead pressed against Isaac's when he was ended the kiss.
“You don't have to,” Isaac insisted softly, weakly. “Explain or make me feel better or anything. Whatever you need, if it's the pack then they're what you need,” he told him.
He kissed him back, trying to be there and okay and strong for Robbie. He rested his forehead against his and smoothed his hands down his arms, up to his shoulders again.
“Whatever you need.”
He knew it was risky, what he wanted to do now, but Robbie wasn't sure what sort of time he even had left before… who knew what happened next. He forgot more? He remembered and it changed everything? Robert killed him? The pack killed him?
Or… Or worse. Isaac was Robert.
So for now, just for right now he wanted to pretend nothing was happening, everything would be fine and okay. “Before we do that will you… can we just be together, tonight? I need to sleep, I'm so tired, and I just want you tonight.”
Isaac nodded at that, wrapping his arms around Robbie tight again, squeezing him gently. “Yeah, of course. We'll get some rest,” he agreed, and pulled back to take his hand, glancing over his shoulder at the building and repressing a shudder.
“My claustrophobia is kind of bad tonight, so I… I'm sorry if I feel anxious,” he told him. He hadn't had a bad day like this since he'd gotten to Dunwich. Actually, he hadn't had a bad day like this since before he'd gone to France. It'd been such a long time.
“Come on. Rest will help. And Pickman is safe,” he added.
“We can go somewhere else. Pack house is bigger, and safe. Luke and Carter’s, maybe? Or we could go to MIST, and just knock out on the couches in one of their bigger rooms they got.” Robbie could tell something was wrong, but he hadn’t realized it was the claustrophobia. He didn’t want Isaac to be uncomfortable.
Or any more stressed than he already was. Than Robbie had already made him.
“Rest will help. I know. I feel like I’m gonna lose it and I just need to be safe, with you, and rest tonight. We’ll figure out the rest in the morning.”
Isaac thought about it. He didn't know about MIST, sleeping around that many people they didn't know sounded a little hard but he thought maybe he had an Idea.
“Carter and Luke, they've got that big room with all the windows,” he mentioned. “And that couch. Think maybe they'd let us sleep there?” The windows might be easier, give the illusion of being outside.
“We'll figure everything out in the morning,” he agreed.
“Oh that’s right, they do. Yeah I think - I think they probably would.” He felt bad even asking, knowing how things had been for the both of them - but Isaac was uncomfortable, and Robbie didn’t want that. Besides, Robbie knew what he as going to do tomorrow, what he was going to ask them all to do.
So he’d suck it up and text Carter and Luke to see if it was alright, if they stayed just the one night. To feel safe. With pack nearby, even if the bonds weren’t there just yet, they were building.
“I’m sorry you’re having a bad day with that. Did something else happen?”
Isaac slipped his hand into Robbie's, even if he needed one hand to text Carter.
“Maybe it's just anxiety,” Isaac thought. “I came back to start dinner and you weren't here and just… it started to feel cramped.”
That was putting it mildly. His room felt like he was locked in a coffin. “But it could just be a bad day, too, who knows. There isn't always a reason.”
“I don’t have a phone.” He said, after checking his pockets and remember it was lost somewhere in the woods, with the remnants of his other clothes and shoes. “Oh no.” His face fell, realizing that he’d had his mother’s glasses on him when he was there. “I lost my glasses. Shit, I left them there - they were in my pocket, and I - fuck, fuck!”
Robbie covered his face with his hands, about ready to have a panic attack. Not only had he stressed Isaac out and probably a few others, he’d lost some of the few clothes he had, his cell phone, and worst of all - his mother’s glasses.
He started to hyperventilate a little because he couldn’t go back there, he didn’t - he wasn’t sure where he’d even been and he didn’t want to run into Robert, or the thing he’d run into. He couldn’t stay away, though. He couldn’t lose those glasses.
“It's okay,” Isaac could feel the tension in him, the panic. He reached up to touch his face and tucked his hair back a little, touched his ears. “Do you want to come with me to find them or do you want to go wait with Luke and Carter?”
He didn't want to leave Robbie but he didn't know if he'd want to go back out there, where it had happened, so soon either.
“We'll get it back. It's going to be really easy to find, they're in your clothes. Even a half wolf like me can do it.”
Robbie felt a little like he was at war with himself. Feeling Isaac’s fingers brushing his face, tucking his hair behind his ear - it was calm and comforting and he wanted nothing more than to melt into Isaac, where he felt safe.
Then, there was this part of him that was becoming increasingly intense, thinking what if Isaac is Robert?. It was too easy, how they fit together. How they had become what they were now. The way it felt like they belonged.
“I don’t want you to go alone.” He admitted, biting his lip before finally meeting Isaac’s gaze. Looking into his eyes was briefly able to alleviate the feeling that Isaac wasn’t really Isaac. His eyes were so honest, like this. “It’s not safe, especially not right now. We can - we’ll go in the morning.”
Isaac nodded a little. He was sure Robbie's things would be safe until the morning, but he hated that he had to worry about them all night, on top of everything else.
“Okay,” he agreed softly. “You can use my phone as much as you want.” He didn't have anything to hide. Robbie knew pretty much everything Isaac did, anyway. His Google search history might embarrass him a little but there was nothing bad in there.
“It's gonna be okay,” he told him. “The pack, us, we'll figure everything out and deal with it if we have to.”
“Dunwich will probably give me another phone if we don’t find it.” He said, with a bit of a sigh. That was both a good and bad thing. Dunwich was weird like that, and he wasn’t sure he liked it. But it had given him a phone in the first place, with the network on it.
Robbie had no desire to go through Isaac’s phone, trusting him entirely and he really just wanted to cuddle and sleep anyway. He was exhausted, still on edge. “We’ll find them in the morning… Together. Promise?”
He pushed himself into Isaac, head nestled underneath Isaac’s chin, arms wrapped around him, breathing in his smell.
Isaac wasn't sure how it worked, if Dunwich gave replacements, but maybe Robbie was right. He'd been there longer, after all.
He wrapped his arms around him tight, held him close, his head tipped back enough to allow Robbie's head to nestle in under his chin. “I promise,” he agreed. “I promise. Let's go rest.”
He pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “I'm sorry about - we could go in Pickman, it's okay, I can deal with it. It's closest and you need to rest.” Isaac was sure he'd get past the claustrophobia. He could push himself. “You've been through too much not to get your own bed tonight.”
If he wasn't so tired, Robbie would have stayed like that all night, just holding on to Isaac. His familiar feel and smell was the only thing keeping Robbie together.
“Nah, Luke and Carter’s place is a good idea.” He admitted a bit reluctantly. Carter would know what to do if anything were to go wrong, and Robbie was pretty sure he'd never forgive himself of he hurt Isaac, especially if no one was around to help.
“Let's go. Maybe a bit of a walk will help us both.”