lucas marlow đź’µ alexander hamilton (unsatisfied) wrote in dunhavenic, @ 2019-07-12 20:30:00 |
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Entry tags: | !log, * jamie, * jeanne, * kit, c: bridget marlow, c: kesi freeman, c: lucas marlow |
WHO: Luke Marlow, Kesi Freeman, Bridget Grant
WHEN: July 11, 2019
WHERE: Bridget and Kesi's House
SUMMARY: Kesi and Luke poke at old wounds, and Bridget is caught in the middle.
WARNINGS: Fisticuffs, language.
Finding Bridget had been like gulping in fresh air after existing in a state of perpetual near-drowning for so long that not breathing had started to feel normal. Luke hadn’t expected to find her; he hadn’t even been looking for someone like her. He’d learned in the course of dating her, though, that Bridget wasn’t the kind of person that needed to be found because once you saw her, there was no unseeing her. And there was no trying to hang onto the feeling that he didn’t deserve her, that he didn’t deserve how happy she made him, because she also wasn’t the kind of person who wasted time on something, on someone, who wasn’t worthy of her. At every turn, she had shown him the parts of himself that could be redeemed, and could be loved. Even in the too short amount of time that he had known her, Luke found that falling for her was the most uncomplicated thing he had ever done. For as uncomplicated as his relationship with Bridget was, though, the world around them tried so hard to complicate it. The dreams, themselves, were the biggest complication. His own were a constant reminder of the mistakes he had made, the lessons he didn’t know how to learn, and the way both of those things hurt the people he cared about the most. Hers, he thought, may have even been more complicated than that. They traversed the lines between those lives and this one, though, and made it work. But there was another complication, and one that felt much harder to navigate than anything else. Kesi. Things hadn’t always been complicated with Kesi. In fact, they’d once been friends in the way that one inevitably becomes friends with one’s spouse’s friends. He and Beth had Kesi over to dinner at least once a week, they’d bonded over shared interests that had nothing to do with their shared fondness for Beth, and Luke had even gone so far as to learn conversational American sign language to better communicate with the man he’d called a friend. But then Luke had lost too much, too soon, and he’d sped downward in a vicious spiral of self-assured, grief-driven destruction, effectively insuring as much collateral damage as possible in the process. He’d ruined his marriage, his reputation, his friendships and, worst of all, he’d hurt and betrayed the one person he’d vowed to never do either of those things to. It was no wonder, really, that Kesi hated him. After Beth had packed her things and left Dunhaven, he hadn’t blamed Kesi in the slightest for how much the man hated him. He might have even continued on accepting Kesi’s particular brand of loathing had it not been for the simple fact that Kesi was Bridget’s roommate. He couldn’t control how the other man felt about him, though, so he’d put great effort into simply avoiding him. Bridget usually came to his house instead of the other way around, unless they both knew Kesi was out and Luke would not run into him. This was one of those evenings. He’d heard from Bridget that Kesi was planning on being out with Lyra that evening and he and Bridget were planning on driving into DC to catch a show and grab dinner. She’d texted him to let him know that she was jumping in the shower and getting ready, but that the front door was unlocked and he could let himself in. The pattern of avoidance had been working well thus far and Luke had no reason to question it. That was, until he let himself in and, instead of finding an empty living room where he could sit and wait for his girlfriend, he found Kesi and, in front of the man, an open laptop with his ex-wife’s face front and center. “I don’t know. I know you like her, but I still have to question the character of anyone who could know the kind of person he is and still stay with him,” Beth said, her hands signing along with her words. “I knew him better than anyone, and I know he’ll never change. He’ll never be satisfied with what he has but if she can’t see that, then maybe she deserves the way this will inevitably end.” Luke stepped into view of the screen and cleared his throat, Beth immediately glancing up to where he stood just behind Kesi. -- Beth had been one of the first friends that Kesi had made in Dunhaven. She'd already known some ASL before his arrival- which had been enough to endear him to her, of course- but their friendship had deepened over the years. They'd never dated- never considered it, really- and had laughed at those who did. Kesi had been supportive of her relationship with Luke, and he'd even once counted himself among the man's friends. Not that it had ever been a question who he would support when the marriage came crashing down. Kesi had made his feelings known to Luke then- and more than once, too. He'd been more than willing to seal shut the door that had once been open between them, never regretting the decision to turn his back on someone who could make such callous and self-serving decisions as Luke had done. But then Bridget had found him. And though Kesi had told her, too, what he thought of Luke, what he was sure Luke would do to her in the end, all those words had (and there was the irony) fallen on deaf ears. So Kesi made himself scarce when he could. (Lyra helped with that.) Luckily, at least, both Bridget and Luke (in what Kesi was sure was the latter's only shred of self-awareness or decency) seemed keenly aware of the needed separation. Kesi knew, too, that it wasn't really fair- it was Bridget's house, after all- but, for now, he would keep to the path of least resistance. Kesi shook his head. "I know he won't, either," he spoke aloud as he signed. Of course, he knew that Beth was speaking aloud- he could see her lips move- but the actual volume on his laptop was something he rarely paid any attention to, unless Lyra told him he'd accidentally left it too loud. "She just won't see it. And I can't make her. Believe me, I wish I could." He wouldn't go so far as to say that Bridget deserved that inevitable end, no, but neither did he refute Beth's words. When Beth looked up, Kesi followed her gaze and glanced around, though he didn't bother refraining from rolling his eyes at the sight of Luke now standing behind him. Kesi just turned back to his laptop screen, and this time he signed, but didn't speak aloud. "We said his name too many times and he showed up. What luck." -- It hurt, of course, to hear people still talking about the mistakes he’d made in his past. If it had been anyone other than Beth and Kesi discussing his mistakes, he may have even said something. After all, Luke did have an insatiable tendency to need to defend himself and his reputation. But he’d decided as soon as everything had happened that he would never fault Beth for how she needed to handle what he’d done to her. If she wanted to rage at him, take everything he had, whatever she’d needed to do, he would have let her. In the end, she’d just left, and Luke had never thought that had been enough. These words, though, they weren’t about him, not directly. And maybe that was why they bothered him so much more than passing whispers that never died. “And I have to question the character of anyone who has to tear down someone they don’t even know to satisfy some sense of indignation,” he said, barely even sparing Kesi a glance as he took in Beth’s face, though he was aware enough of his presence to sign his words. “I honestly thought you were better than that, but maybe we both misjudged each other.” Looking at her still tore him apart, still stoked an aching chasm that was too slowly healing, but he was too mad at what she’d said when she thought no one else was listening to pay that ache much mind. Finally, he glanced over at Kesi, nostrils flaring as his brow furrowed. “And you. You’re not even going to defend someone you call your friend? Say whatever the hell you want about me, I know I deserve it, but you know Bridget’s character and you’re just going to let another friend say she deserves to get hurt? What the hell, man?” -- Kesi was… mildly surprised, actually, when Luke signed the words that he also spoke aloud to Beth. The two of them could have it out over any number of subjects, no doubt, and Kesi would have been the last one to stop it. "You do not get the moral high ground here, Lucas Marlow," Beth all but spat her words, glaring through the screen at her ex-husband. In her haste (and unexpected anger) she'd forgotten to sign, but she did so with her next statement- this to Kesi. "Call me later. When he's gone." And with that, she signed off. Frown deepening, Kesi reached forward and shut his laptop (a bit too hard), then stood back to face Luke. "I'm not going to change Beth's mind," he replied, "and I shouldn't have to. She's never going to meet Bridget. I didn't agree with her, which you'd know if you were paying one damn bit of attention to a conversation that- oh, that had nothing to do with you." -- For the first time since she had left him, Luke felt less like he owed Beth her anger, and more like he was angry with her. It was a new feeling, and not exactly pleasant, but feeling something other than the incessant sense that he deserved whatever he got was…new. And maybe a little refreshing, if surprising. Tempering his frustration with her, he turned on Kesi the moment Beth signed off. “Oh, please,” he signed back, voice raising without him even thinking about it. “It doesn’t matter whether she’s ever going to meet her or not, she has no right to judge her character of all things. Whatever Bridget deserves, it’s better than that. And you just sitting there letting Beth carry on without stopping her when she crossed the line is not the same thing as not agreeing with her. You’ve both spent all this time convincing me that I’m still the same asshole I was then, but honestly I’m not sure it isn’t a whole lot like the pot calling the kettle black.” -- Kesi just stared. Though Luke had been signing along, he still almost doubted that he'd actually attempted this argument. "What? What?" And then he just laughed. When he spoke next, Kesi just signed. He didn't much care if Luke couldn't keep up. "You're saying we're equals now because I didn't- in the exact same moment- interrupt my best friend expressing her emotions? And that- that is somehow the same as some alcoholic cheating on his wife- the love of your goddamn life- with a random bar whore? Fuck off, Luke." -- “No, you do not get to put words in my mouth,” Luke shot back, almost immediately, almost craving this fight now that he was in it. “Yes, I was an alcoholic who cheated on his wife. I own that, man, and I always have. I have never pretended like I didn’t deserve every single goddamn ounce of anger I got for it. But an asshole is an asshole without having to hash out the reasons why, and what I did to earn that title doesn’t change the fact that you both just sit here shit-talking someone who wasn’t even fucking involved in the situation while you’re in her house. Shit, Kesi, really? No, how about you fuck off?” -- "You did the same damn thing to me!" Exasperation in every sign. "I got, what, two sentences out when Beth went too far, but they weren't good enough for you so now I'm an ass? Get the fuck over yourself, Marlow." Kesi stepped forward, a hand up to push past Luke- which he did, much more roughly than was necessary. A hand pushed Luke's shoulder, and Kesi didn't much care if he'd been unnecessary. "And it's my house too." This aloud, with his back to Luke. -- Luke stumbled back a step, not having anticipated the shove as Kesi moved past him. Incensed, he dropped his hands and grabbed the other man’s arm. “I’m real fucking done with dancing around your impression of me, and I’m not about to start letting you lay your hands on me, either,” he growled. -- Kesi wheeled around as Luke grabbed his arm, and in time enough to catch most of what he'd said. But no matter what the words had been, his next action was set in mind and irrefutable. Pulling his arm free from Luke's grasp, Kesi took one easy step back toward him and, with his free hand, struck out with a closed fist. The swift movement made contact with Luke's jaw. -- “What the fuck, dude,” Luke cried, hand flying to his jaw as he flexed it. It was going to bruise and that just pissed him off even more. He advanced on Kesi, shoving at his shoulders twice as he said, “Fucking try that again.” It was like years of bottling up all of his frustration, and every desire to defend himself against Beth and her friends, was bubbling violently to the surface, ready to overflow. He was tired, exhausted, of being the villain when he’d spent the past few years turning his life around and trying to at least make sure he never made the same mistakes again. How long was he going to have to pay for it? And was he just supposed to let people punch him for it in the meantime? -- Kesi stumbled back when Luke shoved his shoulders, but he didn't fall. His hand stung from the hit, but it had been so damn satisfying that Kesi didn't much care. He only regretted that Beth had signed off the video call and hadn't seen him do it. "Gladly," Kesi all but rolled his eyes at the would-be challenge, as it was issued, and he curled his fingers into a fist once more. -- The anger that had been boiling inside of Luke burst forth and, without even stopping to consider it, his own fist formed, his elbow pulled back in preparation, he swung-- And stopped at the last second. This wasn't him. Or, it was, and had been, but he'd been trying so hard to not be that person. And he'd be damned if he let Kesi Freeman make him be that person, again. -- He'd been anticipating the hit- almost, perhaps in some odd way, ready for it. Eager. But it didn't come. Kesi knocked Luke's hand away as if it was nothing more than an errant little bug, and he turned away. That was a physical cue, and a clear one, that he was done with all of this. "That's what I thought." -- It wasn't until Bridget had stepped out of the bathroom that she sensed something was wrong. In the months since she had met Luke and their relationship had grown more serious, she had gotten very good about making sure her roommate and boyfriend didn't mix. She knew the history, of course. Luke had been honest with her from the start and Kesi had let his feelings be known very soon after. In the hopes that she could continue her life with both men in it, she had just taken strides to make sure they didn't cross paths. It wasn't very hard; neither of them wanted to see one another anyway, so Bridget just made sure that she knew of Kesi's schedule and, if there was any question, she would simply go to Luke's. Somewhere inside, she'd known that they couldn't continue on like this forever. Eventually, the two were going to end up in the same room together. And as she stood in her bedroom, hair wet around her shoulders, Bridget realized that the sound making its way through the house meant that were in the same room together. Right now. Bridget sighed. So much for that. Dressing quickly in the nearest pair of pajama shorts and tank top she could find, Bridget hurried out of her room before her steps turned cautious as she reached the living room. Her eyes darted between Luke and Kesi, surveying the situation. Having had knowledge of ASL before coming to Dunhaven, and then going through a few online courses since then just to make sure she wasn't rusty, it was easy for her to sign along as she asked out loud, "What's going on?" -- Of course, it was only a matter of time before Bridget heard them and came to investigate. Really, they were almost sort of lucky that she hadn't witnessed anything else here tonight. "I was just leaving," Kesi spoke and signed, the former for Bridget's benefit, not Luke's. "I'm going to go stay with my sister for... a few days." Probably best to leave that open-ended. And, really, even if he did tell Bridget what had happened, Luke was going to come back in with his own version of things. And who was she more likely to believe? That was her choice, but if Kesi was going to be painted as the villain in all of this, well, best just to make himself scarce before that happened. -- Luke stood away from Kesi, nursing his sore jaw where Kesi had landed the blow. He was torn between staying and leaving and unsure which was the best option. After a moment, he decided maybe it was better for him to go--Kesi had been right in that he was the one who actually lived here, after all. He wasn’t exactly in the fun night out mood anymore, either, no matter how much he just wanted to be with Bridget in that moment. “No, it’s fine. I’ll go,” he replied, then turned to look at his girlfriend. “If you want to call or come by later…?” He let the words trail off, not sure if she’d want to take him up on either of those offers and honestly not sure his pride could take another hit that night if she told him that she didn’t. -- Bridget's gaze continued to dart between Luke and Kesi, assessing the situation and slowly putting things together. Her eyes lingered on Luke, watching how he handled his jaw; she didn't need Helene's extensive background in brawls, both as a participant and a spectator, to realize that he was hurt. She frowned, looking back to Kesi once before stepping in towards Luke. "Wait," she said, holding up a hand in an attempt to get either of them to follow that order, before she lifted it to gingerly brush over Luke's uninjured cheek. She looked back to Kesi, brow furrowed in a mixture of concern and disbelief as she signed, "Did you hit him?" It wasn't meant to be accusatory, but more a question of simply trying to understand what situation she had found herself in before one or both of them left and she had no more answers then than she did now. -- With his back to Luke, Kesi hadn't seen him offer to leave as well. But Bridget signaled for him to turn around, and he did, now facing them both. He question was a simple one, and he signed just one word in response. Yes. Kesi wasn't typically violent. He couldn't remember the last time he'd hit anyone, come to that. But he just repeated his earlier assertion. "Like I said, I'm going." -- Luke didn’t bother talking to Kesi again. It had become very clear that night that neither of them likely should be talking to the other. His hand instinctively brushed over Bridget’s hip, his eyes closed as he tried to bring himself back down from the anger that had erupted inside him. “I guess if he’s going, anyway, I’m just going to go wait in your room. Probably for the best if I’m out of his way until he’s gone,” he said, reopening his eyes to meet hers. He wasn’t entirely confident, as the ache in his jaw became gradually more pronounced, that this wouldn’t escalate again. -- "I'll bring you some ice," Bridget promised, finding one of Luke's hands to squeeze it once before she let him retreat out of the living room and toward her bedroom. Hesitating just a few seconds as she let her fingers press gently to her temple, she looked up to Kesi. She didn't bother speaking out loud, instead simply signing to him. "I'm sorry. If I'd known you were going to be here, I wouldn't have told him to come over." She wasn't entirely convinced that this was actually her fault or that she should be apologizing at all, but she could at least take ownership of that. -- "It's not your job to keep us apart," Kesi offered in sign, grateful for the opportunity to speak to her in relative privacy. "You have, but today just got…" He shook his head. "I was Skyping with Beth." Which wasn't really an unusual thing. "She… has lingering bitterness, which I don't fault her for in the least. But she said some… uncharitable things about you, and I didn't… Look, I didn't encourage her, but I didn't jump up to your immaculate defense, either. He didn't like that." Kesi ran his fingers through his short hair. -- Bridget fought to keep the sudden and immediate hurt she felt off her face, which she only was somewhat successful in doing. She knew about Beth, of course. How could she not, given the role that the woman played in the lives of both Kesi and Luke. Part of her wasn't surprised at the thought that the other woman might not think charitably on her, given her position in her ex-husband's life and the events that brought an end to their marriage, but it didn't stop her from being hurt at the thought of someone she didn't even know talking about her at all, let alone like that. Not that she was unused to being talked about; she'd caught a couple lingering stares followed by hushed conversations by some of the other people that lived in Dunhaven and she knew right where it was coming from. That was easy for her to brush aside. They were just small town gossips and eventually it would blow over. This, though, struck an unexpected nerve in her. Maybe it was because it was the first time she'd had some kind of confirmation that Beth knew she not only existed, but who she was to Luke. Maybe it was knowing that Kesi had been talking about her at all. Whatever it was, she had to swallow hard before even attempting to respond. "Okay." Bridget drew in a breath. "You were talking about me. He didn't like what you didn't say. Why did you hit him?" -- Why, indeed? Kesi had been ready to leave the conversation then, but he'd pushed roughly past Luke on his way. And then… "He said we were the same. That my lack of defense of you was somehow the same as his betrayal of Beth. I… disagreed." The reasoning, such as it was, felt almost pitiful said aloud, now that those heated emotions had passed. -- Bridget considered that for a moment, before asking. "What was she saying about me?" Almost immediately, Bridget closed her eyes tight, waving her hands in front of her as though erasing what she'd just signed seconds before. Opening her eyes again to look at Kesi, she shook her head. "Don't answer that. It's not any of my business and I don't really want to know." It actually did feel a bit like it was her business, but that was fine. She could let that one go. "Look," she started, breathing in deeply and feeling more tired than she had in awhile, "I don't expect you to defend me to anyone, least of all someone you've known longer and are better friends with than me, but…" She shrugged, sighing again. "I wasn't here when it all happened. All I know is who Luke is now and that he's been trying really hard to be better than his mistakes. I know how you feel about him and that you're not thrilled with me dating him. I'm not asking you to be. I just would really appreciate it if you wouldn't hit my boyfriend for saying something you might not like." -- Kesi wasn't- and likely never would be- convinced that Luke was really any different now than he had been, before. Superficial changes, perhaps, but the same man at the core of it all. Those things didn't just go away. But- at least in the count of people currently under this roof- he was alone in that thinking. "If he doesn't eavesdrop on my conversations and insult me, sure." He was, perhaps, not really in any place to be making demands of anyone, least of all Bridget. "I'm more than happy to pretend he doesn't exist, Bridget. But doing that will be easier if I give the two of you… more space." -- "A conversation that was about me." Bridget's lips tightened into a line, a hint at the frustration she was feeling over this situation that she was trying very hard to hide -- if only because she felt that she was at fault for their being in this situation in the first place. "I'm sorry, but I can't be too upset at him eavesdropping when you were talking about me." But then the rest of what he'd said sunk in. "I've been trying to make sure there was space in the first place. Maybe this was going to happen eventually, but I was trying to prevent it." -- googleThe conversation had been about how bored they both were with summer break, and Lyra, and Beth's boyfriend, and when Kesi was going to get out to see her. And yes, Beth had complained about Luke, in her comparison to her current partner. And yes, Bridget had been mentioned. But none of that mattered now. As he'd known they would, lines and conclusions had been drawn. "It won't again. I'm going to go, yeah? I'm past my welcome." Even if it was his own home. Some things just broke that feeling all the same. -- Bridget stood still, lines of confusion drawn on her face, even with her hands lifted and waiting for her to respond. What it sounded like what that he was leaving and not just to stay with his sister for a few days. The thought made her insides twist. She had thought that she could juggle her life better. She could have her boyfriend and keep her friend, too. Maybe that had been naive of her. Before she settled down that path too far, she willed her hands to move. "This is your house first, Kesi. If anyone should go, it should be me." -- Kesi held his hands up, palms out, toward Bridget. (He wouldn't reach for her hands, directly, if only because he hated if people did the same to him.) Instead, he leaned over and pressed a fond kiss to her forehead. "Let me do this, Bridget. Please." The words were spoken aloud, but quietly. It was, perhaps, something akin to an apology- to her, anyway, not to Luke. "If space is going to help, I owe you that much." -- Bridget wasn't sure she could put a name to how she felt in that moment. It wasn't guilt, because she refused to feel guilty about any of this; she couldn't have helped who her heart had attached itself to and she wouldn't have changed it even if she could. The bad history between her roommate and boyfriend had nothing to do with her. But, she did feel a vague sense of disappointment, less in herself and more at the situation in general. There wasn't much to be done with those sorts of feelings now, though. It was about more than what she wanted. And so, with a sad sort of smile and a nod, she simply signed, okay. -- Luke waited quietly in Bridget’s room, preparing a dozen apologies for having ruined their date night while taking in the various details of the room he’d only been in a time or two before. For the most part, he tried to avoid her house and it helped that he lived on his own making it easier for her to come to him. This whole run-in with Kesi had been proof enough as to why it had been a good idea to keep his distance and he only wished he’d kept that up. Well, no, that wasn’t entirely true. For as much as Luke continued to feel guilty for the ways in which he’d wronged the people in his past, he was also just utterly exhausted to continue being defined by his mistakes. It was like it didn’t matter how hard he tried to learn from his past and move forward a better man, he always wound up right back in this position and he was honestly getting so beyond tired of walking on eggshells. He was tired of apologizing for his existence. When the door finally opened, Luke looked up to see Bridget stepping in, closing the door behind her and clutching a bag of frozen peas in her hand. He tried to smile, but it both failed to reach his eyes, and hurt to pull at the muscles that ached. Moving to the side to make room for Bridget beside him, he shrugged in an apologetically defeated sort of way. “I’m sorry, Bridge.” -- Bridget didn't know how long the bag of frozen peas had been sitting in the freezer, but she'd been thankful to find them there; people always seemed to think that frozen vegetables were better at helping a bruise or injury than actual ice and who was she to argue? She was especially glad to have it when she sat next to Luke, tucking one of her legs under her as she pressed the bag gingerly to his jaw, holding it there for him while her other hand came to gently land on his shoulder. "I know," she replied, giving him a sad smile that echoed the one she'd given Kesi in the living room. "I honestly had no idea he'd be here, Luke. I must have gotten times messed up." -- Luke gave another half shrug, his hand coming to rest on her knee as she settled in next to him. “It’s not your fault,” he said, even though he was confident that she already knew that. “And, I mean, obviously I should have just avoided this place altogether, myself, but I guess I just thought there’d finally be a day when I could pick up my girlfriend at her own place without it being a big deal.” He glanced up at her, the uninjured corner of his lips curving upward, though not in a necessarily happy way. “I don’t know what I did right for you to know what you were getting yourself into yet still choose to be with me anyway, but I need you to know how much I don’t take that for granted, Bridge. I just wish I knew how to make it easier to be with me.” -- "Being with you isn't hard." Bridget lifted her hand at his shoulder, her fingers brushing along his uninjured cheek. "Being with you is the easiest decision I've ever made. It's just... other people that want to try and make it hard." Bridget's relationship history was a storied sort of past, filled with cautionary tale Tinder dates and horror story blind dates. There had been a couple men that had seemed like a possible match with a real connection, but they hadn't lasted. They also hadn't felt anything like the spark she'd felt with Luke that first dinner date they'd shared. Even with finding out his history, that spark had made her curious enough to want to explore their potential and she was very glad that they had -- even if it had led them here, to one of their more bumpy of moments. "When you first told me about what happened with your ex-wife, you told me that you weren't that person. That you'd hoped that I would see who you are now, before you had to tell me about who you were," Bridget said, tipping her head to the side as she looked at Luke. "I've always seen that, you know. I know you've changed, Luke. You're not defined by your mistakes." Her hand shifted, fingers trailing into his hair. "I'm sorry that not everyone sees that, too." -- Luke lifted a hand to cover hers, lifting her palm to press a kiss to it. “I will never be proud of my collateral damage, but everything I’ve come through after it has been worth it, if it led me to you, you know,” he said, voice quiet. He couldn’t pretend that he hadn’t thought Beth would be his forever, and he couldn’t pretend like he hadn’t loved her with all that he had. He knew better than most that life didn’t always go the way you planned, though, that life could change irreparably in a second. He could no more deny that, as what he’d shared with Beth faded to something unrecognizable, the feelings he felt for Bridget were their own brand of indescribable and wonderful. And though Luke knew better than to hang his hopes on a future that was always too far away, he was pretty confident that there was nowhere he wanted to be but here with her. “Are you okay?” he asked, looking back up at her. -- Bridget lifted one of her shoulders at the question, a motion that could have been nonchalant had they been talking about anything else. "I think so," she said, because it was about as true of an answer as any. She didn't feel that confusion or the anxiety in the pit of her stomach like before, which seemed like a start. Pausing, she considered if she wanted to say anything else before deciding to go for it. "He said that you were upset because he didn't come to my defense over something Beth said to him." --- Luke blew a heavy breath out, hesitating only a moment before nodding. He hadn’t necessarily been planning on extrapolating on the details surrounding the brief altercation, but it was what it was. And if Kesi had already admitted to what had caused the whole thing, then he supposed it didn’t hurt anything to confirm it. “She’s still just hurt, Bridge. And you got caught in the crossfire of that hurt,” he said, giving his ex-wife the benefit of the doubt, even though he wasn’t entirely sure he was convinced that it hadn’t been more born out of pettiness. “I guess I just walked in on the worst of it and expected him to correct her and, when he didn’t, I kind of lost it. I mean, it’s one thing to keep dragging me through it, you know? I made choices and those choices hurt people,” he said, “and I can’t dictate how or when they decide I’ve paid enough for those choices. You didn’t make those choices, though, and I just can’t stand the idea of you paying for my choices, too.” He shifted where he sat, twisting his body to face her. “And I guess I just also can’t stand the idea of continuing to be painted as the asshole when I’ve worked so hard to be different, and yet my past is used to excuse someone else acting like and asshole now.” It was difficult to reconcile the Beth he’d once known and loved with this person who felt vindicated in tearing down another woman for nothing she’d done to begin with. He wasn’t the only one who’d changed, it seemed. -- Bridget was quiet for a moment, her eyes catching on the bag of peas. "People talking about me doesn't bother me, you know," she said, voice quiet as she paused, hesitating before adding, "Well, no. Sometimes it does. But with her, I guess... I understand that she's hurt and that hurt probably makes it easy for her to see me a certain way. I'm sure that I've said uncharitable things about people too, because of hurt." She met his gaze again before she continued, her heart squeezing a bit in her chest. At her very core, Bridget wanted nothing more than to help people and to help ease their troubles -- especially the people in her life that she cared for as much as she did Luke. This was a trouble that she feared she could only help but so far with, though. "I guess all you can do is just keep doing what you've been doing." The corner of her mouth lifted in a shadow of a smile. "Just keep being the man that I know you are." -- "You know," Luke started, trying to find some semblance of humor in the whole thing, "all of this could have been avoided if If just been given these ridiculous dreams early enough for me to actually learn from them. As it is, 'history repeats itself' is my least favorite turn of phrase." He lowered the bag peas, letting them fall quietly to the comforter as he idly took her hands in his. With a sudden, short laugh, he glanced up. "Actually, it's kind of ironic, isn't it? This day is historically a bad day for getting my ass handed to me. I should really avoid running into people who hate me in July next year." -- Despite herself, Bridget smiled. If he was going to try to find some humor in the situation, she could at least meet him halfway. It seemed like it would make it easier for the both of them. "Maybe July should just be a long, extended vacation month for you. Find a nice beach. Avoid all the people." -- Luke shrugged, again, though this time there was no evidence of defeat in the gesture. A small grin began spreading across his lips at the idea. "Maybe July should be a long, extended vacation month for the both of us," he said. "You, and me, and the beach. I'm not sure I could avoid you even if I wanted to. Which I don't, for the record." -- Bridget found her smile growing as Luke's did. It wasn't just the thought of lounging on a beach with him that appealed to her, but the thought that they would be together the following July. She liked that feeling of permanence, especially with him. Leaning forward, she pressed a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth that was opposite his injured jaw. "I wouldn't let you avoid me anyway." |