Adrian Ivashkov đ§đź (ivashkinator) wrote in dunhavenic, @ 2019-02-23 00:23:00 |
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Entry tags: | !narrative, * emily, c: connor reed |
Who: Connor Reed --> Adrian Ivashkov
When: February 23, 2019
Where: His living room --> San Diego
What: Male bonding.
Rating: Verbally abusive parent.
This was not going well, not that Adrian had expected it to. The tension kept building with each snide remark that was thrown back and forth between father and son. Adrian felt bad that Sage was caught in the middle of it, and he could see how uncomfortable she looked out of the corner of his eye. Of course, he hadnât invited her for that very reason--it had been Adrianâs father whoâd made a grand show of insisting that she join them. And now that he had her cornered in a lunch she never wanted to be a part of, heâd just gone and ordered a bunch of food that Adrian kenw Sage would hate, but attempt to eat anyway just to keep the peace. âLunch will be fine,â Sage blurted out after Adrian had called his father out for his heavy-handed ordering and decision-making, âI need to try more things anyway,â she said, though Adrian knew she didnât mean it. âDonât give in to him, Sydney,â warned Adrian. âThatâs how he gets away with walking all over people--especially women. Heâs done it to my mom for years.â The bartender silently appeared and replaced the empty martini glass with a full one. âPlease,â said Nathan, with a heavy sigh. âLetâs leave your mother out of this.â âShould be easy enough, seeing as you always do,â said Adrian, his temper rising as all the frustration and hurt that he felt after losing contact with his mom rushed to the surface. He missed talking to her, and he didnât want her to think that his silence meant that he didnât care about her or what she was going through, since he thought about her often since sheâd been sent away. âIâve been trying to get an answer out of your for weeks on how sheâs doing! Hell, Iâve just been trying to figure out where sheâs even at. Is that so hard for you to give up? She canât be in maximum security. They must let her get letters.â âItâs better that you donât have contact with her while sheâs incarcerated,â said Nathan. Adrian sneered and took a sip of his new martini as he collected himself and his thoughts. âThere we are again: you knowing whatâs best for everyone. You know, Iâd really like to think youâre keeping this avoidance attitude with her because it hurts too much. I know that if the woman I loved was locked away, Iâd be doing everything in my power to reach her. For you? Maybe itâs too hard. Maybe the only way you can cope without her is to block her out--and by keeping me away too. I could almost understand that.â âAdrian--â began Nathan, but Adrian wasnât even half-way done and cut his father off without hesitation. âBut thatâs not it, is it? You donât want me to have contact--and you probably arenât having contact--because youâre embarrassed,â he spat, feeling his pulse quicken, âYou want to distance us and pretend that she doesnât exist. Sheâs ruined the family reputation.â As he finished, Adrian realized he could have been talking about himself just as easily as his mom. Nathan met Adrianâs eyes with a steely look, and Adrian knew his father was utterly unmoved by what heâd said, âConsidering your own reputation, Iâd think you would see the wisdom in not associating with someone who has done what sheâs done.â âWhat, screw up?â Adrian demanded. âWe all screw up. Everyone makes mistakes. Thatâs what she did. It was bad judgement, thatâs all. You donât cut off the people you love for mistakes like that.â âShe did it because of you,â said Nathan. His tone left no question about what he thought of that decision. âBecause you couldnât leave well enough alone with that dhampir girl. You had to flaunt your relationship with her, nearly getting yourself in as much trouble as her in your auntâs murder. Thatâs why your mother did what she did--to protect you. Because of your irresponsibility, sheâs in prison now. Itâs all your fault.â Adrian felt the color drain from his face; he was unable to come up with a retort to that, because he knew his father was right, and thatâs what left him feeling suddenly nauseated. His mother would do that to protect him, Adrian knew she would do just about anything for him, and that was the only logical explanation as to why she would take such a big risk. And now she was suffering the consequences in Adrianâs place. It was his fault. Words failing him, Adrian reached out a shaking hand for his martini glass. The waiter set the food down, but Adrian stared right past it, lost in his guilt. âMr. Ivashkov,â Sage began, finally breaking the heavy silence that had settled over the table. âItâs unfair to blame Adrian for her choices, especially when he didnât even realize what she was doing. I know he would do anything for her. If heâd been able to stop this--or take her place--he would have.â Adrian turned to Sydney with a look of surprise; it wasnât like her to question authority figures or to flatter someone when she didnât mean it, and that was the really remarkable thing--from looking at her, Adrian could tell she meant what she said. She was sure of him. âYouâre sure of that, huh?â Nathan retorted, piling his plate with food and seemed quite excited about it, âWell, Miss Sage, Iâm sorry to shatter your illusions, but it seems you--like so many other young women--have been fooled by my sonâs fast-talking ways. I can assure you, he has never done anything that didnât serve his own interests first. He has no initiative, no ambition, no follow-through. From a very early age, he was constantly breaking rules, never listening to what others had to say if it didnât suit what he wanted. Iâm not really surprised his college attempts have failed--and I assure you, this one will too--because he barely made it out of high school. It wasnât even about the drinking, the girls, and the stunts he pulled...he just didnât care. He ignored his work. It was only through our influence and checkbook that he managed to graduate. Since then, itâs been a constant downward spiral.â Adrian felt as if heâd been slapped. All he could do was sit there, stunned and humiliated. It wasnât just that his father had dismissed everything heâd been trying to do to turn his life around--going back to school, making new friends, contributing to the study of spirit--but he had cut to the core of Adrianâs deepest insecurities. He was lazy, things did feel like a constant downward spiral, and it often seemed to him more likely than not that he would fail again at college, especially when he listened to his fatherâs cold logic. Nathan, apparently, wasnât done yet. âHonestly, I donât even mind the drinking so much, so long as it knocks him out and keeps him quiet,â continued Nathan, through a mouth full of goat cheese. âYou think his mother suffers now? I assure you, sheâs far better off. She was up countless nights, crying over whatever trouble heâd gotten himself into. Keeping him away from her now isnât about me or him. Itâs for her. At least now, she doesnât have to hear about his latest antics or worry about him. Ignorance is bliss. Sheâs in a better place not having contact with him, and I intend to keep it that way,â he said, speaking directly to Sydney as if Adrian wasnât even there at all. He offered the scallops to her, âYou really should try this. Proteinâs good for you, you know.â Adrian took a deep breath, âReally, Dad? I come all the way here to see you, to ask you to give me some way to contact her...and this is all I get? That sheâs better off not talking to me?â Nathan looked startled. âIs that the only reason you came here?â It was clear from his tone that he thought it was a foolish reason. Adrian bit his lip, uncertain whether or not there was even any point in bringing this up, âI also thought...well, that maybe youâd want to hear how I was doing. I thought you might be glad to know I was doing something useful,â he said in an attempt to speak up for himself and salvage at least one of the reasons theyâd come all this way. For a moment, his dad just stared at him. Then he laughed, âAh. Youâre joking. I was puzzled for a moment.â âIâm done with this,â said Adrian. In a flash, he downed his martini and was out of his seat. Adrian couldnât even bring himself to look at Sydney as he left. Turning out of the restaurant, Adrian found the nearest smoking pavilion and lit a cigarette. His humiliation was compounded by the fact that not only had Sydney witnessed all of it, heâd actually been stupid enough to drag her all the way out here for this. Adrian should have known this was how it would go, and he shouldnât have wasted her time. Taking another drag on his cigarette, Adrian cringed as he considered what she must think of him now. One of the most refreshing things about Sydney was that she didnât have too many preconceived notions about him; she hadnât already had her mind made up about him like most people at Court did, an unfortunate consequence of knowing mostly everyone there for his entire life. And what amazed Adrian the most was that Sydney seemed to have mostly positive things to say about him, and she was one of the most frank people heâd ever met. Adrian couldnât stand to think about how she would look at him differently now. Connor woke with a jolt from a nap heâd taken at his parents' house, his art history textbook sprawled on his chest. His heart was racing and he was sweating; no doubt a physical manifestation that this dream wasnât quite like an ordinary dream. The vivid detail made that clear as well; Connor could remember every word, and it was not only difficult to ascertain his own feelings from Adrianâs, but it was becoming a challenge to differentiate between their lives writ large. No initiative, no ambition, no follow-through, Connor thought. Didnât that describe him as well? Throat dry, Connor stumbled up, letting the book fall, and made his way into the kitchen. There, he found his own father grading a stack of lab reports. He looked up and smiled fondly at Connor. âHey, kiddo,â he greeted. âEverything alright?â he asked, a flicker of worry flashing across his face as he undoubtedly saw the distress in Connorâs expression, but those words helped ease it. Even if someone could call Connor unambitious, lazy, and selfish, Connor knew without a doubt that it wouldnât be his dad. His dad believed in him tirelessly and against all odds, sometimes. Walking over to him, Connor succumbed to his emotions and hugged him. His dad chuckled uncertainly, but hugged him back, âWhatâs that for?â he asked. âNothing,â Connor said into his shoulder. âJust...I love you. Iâm sorry I donât say it enough.â His dad was silent for a moment, then clasped his back in that manly, end-of-hug sort of way, âI love you, too.â |