Adrian Ivashkov 🧛🏼 (ivashkinator) wrote in dunhavenic, @ 2019-02-23 00:23:00 |
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This was not going well, not that Adrian had expected it to. The tension kept building with each snide remark that was thrown back and forth between father and son. Adrian felt bad that Sage was caught in the middle of it, and he could see how uncomfortable she looked out of the corner of his eye. Of course, he hadn’t invited her for that very reason--it had been Adrian’s father who’d made a grand show of insisting that she join them. And now that he had her cornered in a lunch she never wanted to be a part of, he’d just gone and ordered a bunch of food that Adrian kenw Sage would hate, but attempt to eat anyway just to keep the peace. “Lunch will be fine,” Sage blurted out after Adrian had called his father out for his heavy-handed ordering and decision-making, “I need to try more things anyway,” she said, though Adrian knew she didn’t mean it. “Don’t give in to him, Sydney,” warned Adrian. “That’s how he gets away with walking all over people--especially women. He’s done it to my mom for years.” The bartender silently appeared and replaced the empty martini glass with a full one. “Please,” said Nathan, with a heavy sigh. “Let’s leave your mother out of this.” “Should be easy enough, seeing as you always do,” said Adrian, his temper rising as all the frustration and hurt that he felt after losing contact with his mom rushed to the surface. He missed talking to her, and he didn’t want her to think that his silence meant that he didn’t care about her or what she was going through, since he thought about her often since she’d been sent away. “I’ve been trying to get an answer out of your for weeks on how she’s doing! Hell, I’ve just been trying to figure out where she’s even at. Is that so hard for you to give up? She can’t be in maximum security. They must let her get letters.” “It’s better that you don’t have contact with her while she’s incarcerated,” said Nathan. Adrian sneered and took a sip of his new martini as he collected himself and his thoughts. “There we are again: you knowing what’s best for everyone. You know, I’d really like to think you’re keeping this avoidance attitude with her because it hurts too much. I know that if the woman I loved was locked away, I’d be doing everything in my power to reach her. For you? Maybe it’s too hard. Maybe the only way you can cope without her is to block her out--and by keeping me away too. I could almost understand that.” “Adrian--” began Nathan, but Adrian wasn’t even half-way done and cut his father off without hesitation. “But that’s not it, is it? You don’t want me to have contact--and you probably aren’t having contact--because you’re embarrassed,” he spat, feeling his pulse quicken, “You want to distance us and pretend that she doesn’t exist. She’s ruined the family reputation.” As he finished, Adrian realized he could have been talking about himself just as easily as his mom. Nathan met Adrian’s eyes with a steely look, and Adrian knew his father was utterly unmoved by what he’d said, “Considering your own reputation, I’d think you would see the wisdom in not associating with someone who has done what she’s done.” “What, screw up?” Adrian demanded. “We all screw up. Everyone makes mistakes. That’s what she did. It was bad judgement, that’s all. You don’t cut off the people you love for mistakes like that.” “She did it because of you,” said Nathan. His tone left no question about what he thought of that decision. “Because you couldn’t leave well enough alone with that dhampir girl. You had to flaunt your relationship with her, nearly getting yourself in as much trouble as her in your aunt’s murder. That’s why your mother did what she did--to protect you. Because of your irresponsibility, she’s in prison now. It’s all your fault.” Adrian felt the color drain from his face; he was unable to come up with a retort to that, because he knew his father was right, and that’s what left him feeling suddenly nauseated. His mother would do that to protect him, Adrian knew she would do just about anything for him, and that was the only logical explanation as to why she would take such a big risk. And now she was suffering the consequences in Adrian’s place. It was his fault. Words failing him, Adrian reached out a shaking hand for his martini glass. The waiter set the food down, but Adrian stared right past it, lost in his guilt. “Mr. Ivashkov,” Sage began, finally breaking the heavy silence that had settled over the table. “It’s unfair to blame Adrian for her choices, especially when he didn’t even realize what she was doing. I know he would do anything for her. If he’d been able to stop this--or take her place--he would have.” Adrian turned to Sydney with a look of surprise; it wasn’t like her to question authority figures or to flatter someone when she didn’t mean it, and that was the really remarkable thing--from looking at her, Adrian could tell she meant what she said. She was sure of him. “You’re sure of that, huh?” Nathan retorted, piling his plate with food and seemed quite excited about it, “Well, Miss Sage, I’m sorry to shatter your illusions, but it seems you--like so many other young women--have been fooled by my son’s fast-talking ways. I can assure you, he has never done anything that didn’t serve his own interests first. He has no initiative, no ambition, no follow-through. From a very early age, he was constantly breaking rules, never listening to what others had to say if it didn’t suit what he wanted. I’m not really surprised his college attempts have failed--and I assure you, this one will too--because he barely made it out of high school. It wasn’t even about the drinking, the girls, and the stunts he pulled...he just didn’t care. He ignored his work. It was only through our influence and checkbook that he managed to graduate. Since then, it’s been a constant downward spiral.” Adrian felt as if he’d been slapped. All he could do was sit there, stunned and humiliated. It wasn’t just that his father had dismissed everything he’d been trying to do to turn his life around--going back to school, making new friends, contributing to the study of spirit--but he had cut to the core of Adrian’s deepest insecurities. He was lazy, things did feel like a constant downward spiral, and it often seemed to him more likely than not that he would fail again at college, especially when he listened to his father’s cold logic. Nathan, apparently, wasn’t done yet. “Honestly, I don’t even mind the drinking so much, so long as it knocks him out and keeps him quiet,” continued Nathan, through a mouth full of goat cheese. “You think his mother suffers now? I assure you, she’s far better off. She was up countless nights, crying over whatever trouble he’d gotten himself into. Keeping him away from her now isn’t about me or him. It’s for her. At least now, she doesn’t have to hear about his latest antics or worry about him. Ignorance is bliss. She’s in a better place not having contact with him, and I intend to keep it that way,” he said, speaking directly to Sydney as if Adrian wasn’t even there at all. He offered the scallops to her, “You really should try this. Protein’s good for you, you know.” Adrian took a deep breath, “Really, Dad? I come all the way here to see you, to ask you to give me some way to contact her...and this is all I get? That she’s better off not talking to me?” Nathan looked startled. “Is that the only reason you came here?” It was clear from his tone that he thought it was a foolish reason. Adrian bit his lip, uncertain whether or not there was even any point in bringing this up, “I also thought...well, that maybe you’d want to hear how I was doing. I thought you might be glad to know I was doing something useful,” he said in an attempt to speak up for himself and salvage at least one of the reasons they’d come all this way. For a moment, his dad just stared at him. Then he laughed, “Ah. You’re joking. I was puzzled for a moment.” “I’m done with this,” said Adrian. In a flash, he downed his martini and was out of his seat. Adrian couldn’t even bring himself to look at Sydney as he left. Turning out of the restaurant, Adrian found the nearest smoking pavilion and lit a cigarette. His humiliation was compounded by the fact that not only had Sydney witnessed all of it, he’d actually been stupid enough to drag her all the way out here for this. Adrian should have known this was how it would go, and he shouldn’t have wasted her time. Taking another drag on his cigarette, Adrian cringed as he considered what she must think of him now. One of the most refreshing things about Sydney was that she didn’t have too many preconceived notions about him; she hadn’t already had her mind made up about him like most people at Court did, an unfortunate consequence of knowing mostly everyone there for his entire life. And what amazed Adrian the most was that Sydney seemed to have mostly positive things to say about him, and she was one of the most frank people he’d ever met. Adrian couldn’t stand to think about how she would look at him differently now. Connor woke with a jolt from a nap he’d taken at his parents' house, his art history textbook sprawled on his chest. His heart was racing and he was sweating; no doubt a physical manifestation that this dream wasn’t quite like an ordinary dream. The vivid detail made that clear as well; Connor could remember every word, and it was not only difficult to ascertain his own feelings from Adrian’s, but it was becoming a challenge to differentiate between their lives writ large. No initiative, no ambition, no follow-through, Connor thought. Didn’t that describe him as well? Throat dry, Connor stumbled up, letting the book fall, and made his way into the kitchen. There, he found his own father grading a stack of lab reports. He looked up and smiled fondly at Connor. “Hey, kiddo,” he greeted. “Everything alright?” he asked, a flicker of worry flashing across his face as he undoubtedly saw the distress in Connor’s expression, but those words helped ease it. Even if someone could call Connor unambitious, lazy, and selfish, Connor knew without a doubt that it wouldn’t be his dad. His dad believed in him tirelessly and against all odds, sometimes. Walking over to him, Connor succumbed to his emotions and hugged him. His dad chuckled uncertainly, but hugged him back, “What’s that for?” he asked. “Nothing,” Connor said into his shoulder. “Just...I love you. I’m sorry I don’t say it enough.” His dad was silent for a moment, then clasped his back in that manly, end-of-hug sort of way, “I love you, too.” |