InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Chogiwa"

annie nikolaev ☆ mary, queen of scots. (ofscots) wrote in dunhavenic,
@ 2018-02-01 19:50:00

Entry tags:

!network, * kit, c: aleksandr nikolaev, c: annie nikolaev, c: denver kingswood, c: sebastian kingswood, r: calla puri

Who wants to come over for a dinner party on Saturday?

ALEX

Feel sorry for me. I've been in my head all day and now my favorite Lush bath bomb is gone from under the sink. I'm not saying Mikhail stole it, but we definitely need to change the locks.

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	ANNIE \| ALEX ofscots 2018-02-02 02:00 am UTC (link)
	That's what I was hoping for. Have you had any more dreams lately? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ANNIE \| ALEX sobachka 2018-02-02 02:24 am UTC (link)
	I'm pretty easy to sway when food, wine, and baths are involved. Nothing too noteworthy. Well, I did have one a handful of days ago, but no one died or had their fingers cut off. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ANNIE \| ALEX ofscots 2018-02-02 02:28 am UTC (link)
	I had no idea. :) What was it about? [...] I've always felt comfortable in my own skin. I've always known who I am and I've never tried to apologize for my strengths or my weaknesses. These dreams, though, they set me off kilter. They make me question who I am and what I'm doing with my life. I don't love it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

ANNIE | ALEX

sobachka
2018-02-02 02:42 am UTC (link)

I was talking to a girl. Young woman. Something like that. Her name was Alina. It was odd, because I -- or the prince, I don't know -- don't open up to many people, but he was comfortable opening up to her about some things. For example, there was gossip about his parentage and whether or not he was the queen's bastard which he had his own suspicions of that he normally acted aloof about, but with her he was a bit more honest. Then he talked about how he had proposed to her, his brother had proposed to her, and how he wanted to kiss her.

I don't love it, either. I didn't like the others, but I especially didn't like this one. The others were violent and made me feel a bit ill, but this? I don't like not having the option to attempt to control my emotions.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

ANNIE | ALEX

ofscots
2018-02-02 02:53 am UTC (link)

I shouldn't feel jealous considering I've had too many dreams about Mary and her relationship with Francis, right? (I know that's not the takeaway here, I'm just saying.)

I think I know what you mean. It doesn't help that, even historically speaking, Mary Stuart was very much charged by her emotions. This strange fictional version of her playing in my head is the same if not even more so.

I wish I knew how to help you with your dreams, Alex. I wish they felt more distant.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ANNIE \| ALEX sobachka 2018-02-02 03:06 am UTC (link)
	You say that as though I haven't been attempting to hide my own jealousy. Nikolai is much the same. He remains in control and is very good at putting on masks, but he's fueled by his emotion more than he lets on. I wish I could do the same for you, radost moya. But I will be here to listen and support you, no matter what dreams plague you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

ANNIE | ALEX

ofscots
2018-02-02 03:20 am UTC (link)

I think the worst part is that neither of us can really say that our dreams and what they contain don't feel as real as what's right here in front of us. I will never doubt us and I will never doubt how we feel about each other, but I can't say that I can't still feel Mary's heart when I wake up. I hate that I do, and not just because of her feelings for someone, but because she just has a lot of feelings, in general. Like I said, I've been in my own head all day.

Your love and your support are all I'll ever need, you know.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ANNIE \| ALEX sobachka 2018-02-02 03:41 am UTC (link)
	That is definitely the worst part. It would be easier if the feelings didn't feel so real. They could be ignored or brushed away if they were, but instead they're so present. I could say the same of you, Ans. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ANNIE \| ALEX ofscots 2018-02-02 03:48 am UTC (link)
	I want to say something because I've been keeping it to myself and I think that's making it worse, but I also don't want to because if I put it out there, it's out there. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ANNIE \| ALEX sobachka 2018-02-02 03:54 am UTC (link)
	What is it? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ANNIE \| ALEX ofscots 2018-02-02 04:01 am UTC (link)
	I am about 98% sure that Lucy's cousin is as much the Francis in these dreams as I am Mary. I asked him about two and a half months ago if he'd been having similar dreams, but I haven't talked to him much since then because the answer would be yes. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ANNIE \| ALEX sobachka 2018-02-02 04:08 am UTC (link)
	[...] I see. ~~I'm~~ ~~I don't~~ I'm sorry that you've had this weighing on you for so long. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ANNIE \| ALEX ofscots 2018-02-02 04:10 am UTC (link)
	[...] Bash has been rather prominent in the dreams, too. He's my brother-in-law, which isn't so different from our relationship now. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ANNIE \| ALEX sobachka 2018-02-02 04:13 am UTC (link)
	Have you talked to Bash about them? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ANNIE \| ALEX ofscots 2018-02-02 04:18 am UTC (link)
	I talked to him on the same evening I messaged Francis. He'd dreamed about Mary, and Francis, and being the king's son, and Mary's dog, Stirling. And the King's Wood. I don't remember if we discussed any other details. I'm 100% sure that our dreams align, though. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ANNIE \| ALEX sobachka 2018-02-02 04:23 am UTC (link)
	So you're having dreams from the same [...] world. I don't know if that's the right word for it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ANNIE \| ALEX ofscots 2018-02-02 04:58 pm UTC (link)
	Yes, and I think Lucy is, too, but I'm not sure I've encountered her in my dreams yet. I know she's dreamed about 16th century France, but I don't know if that means our dreams are of the same context, or not. I feel like I'd know if I'd seen her, though, because Bash and Francis are both totally recognizable. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ANNIE \| ALEX sobachka 2018-02-02 08:07 pm UTC (link)
	It's interesting that so many of you are having a shared experience like that. (Reply to this) (Parent)

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