To be fair, I have nearly set the kitchen on fire making French fries. I learned the hard way that the broiler must be watched very closely.
(I tried for the June-Cleaver-cum-Martha-Stewart level of being a stay at home mom for a while and it just did not work for me. Pinterest just fuels my sense of inadequacy, really.)
If it's any help, I've found kids have a tougher time getting zippos to light?