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Tweak says, "It is known."

Eleanor Rex-Wood is (arrowette) wrote in doors,
@ 2012-03-12 01:16:00

Entry tags:

alfred pennyworth, arthur, arya stark, mary jane watson, tinker bell

Public (as Eleanor M)
I guess it's time to come to terms with the fact that my birthday weekend is over. Tell me, sage strangers, what does 24 hold for me to look forward to?

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	Re: Eleanor M / Iris R arrowette 2012-03-12 05:31 pm UTC (link)
	Iris! I didn't know you were in town too. Anton is great, even though the two of them are still in denial about their undying love. How have you been? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: Eleanor M / Iris R

soundofwings
2012-03-12 05:45 pm UTC (link)

I arrived recently. Recently enough to still be settling in, though I've already found two people I know. You being one, of course. Our lives are full of strangeness, yes?

I'm glad to hear that they are good, even if they remain in denial. As long as they are happy with each other, that's all that matters, yes? And I'm well. Strange, as you must expect since your words are appearing here too. A bit unsettled at times. But well enough. Yourself? Last I heard, there were aspirations of global corporate domination, but now you are here?

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Re: Eleanor M / Iris R

arrowette
2012-03-12 05:53 pm UTC (link)

I just got in at the end of the last week, and already found quite a few people who were around in Seattle. You think this another gathering place like Seattle was? I don't think I'm staying long. Well, I don't have any plans at the moment, but I'd like to continue traveling if I can.

Yes, they are. Other people come and go, but at the end of the day they both know exactly what they're coming home to. Yeah, this whole sharing headspace thing has been pretty strange. I'm glad to have familiar faces around to help out though. I'm still slated to pick up at Monarch Industries, but after the year I've had, we all thought it'd be a good idea if I traveled and [...] figured things out before settling in.

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Re: Eleanor M / Iris R

soundofwings
2012-03-12 06:14 pm UTC (link)

It does seem to be that way, yes. The other person I know was in Seattle as well. Among other places, but that was where I met him first. Another coincidence that leads me to worry, but I do my best to not let it get to me too much. I thought about traveling as well, but I think something stable is good for the moment. Alfred seems to think so as well.

I must say that I'm very glad they have each other. We joke, but it does seem to work well for them, from what I was able to see.

[...] Strange is a good word for it. I was more that a bit concerned at first. As I'm sure you can imagine. And it's definitely not something I'm discussing with my doctor here, which is difficult at times, but I feel it's for the best, all told. Questioning reality is a pretty regular thing for me, but this seems [...] real. Or at least different than breaks in reality I've dealt with before. To be brutally frank.

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Re: Eleanor M / Iris R

arrowette
2012-03-12 06:32 pm UTC (link)

Whatever is going on here, I just hope it doesn't out to be as exciting as Seattle was. I don't think I could handle going through something like that again. I'm glad you've found some stability here. I just feel restless all the time, and I don't think that's entirely because of the kid in my head.

Alfred?

It does, and I love them for it. I finally got to learn what it was like to have a home, some place I belonged.

I haven't been to see anyone in a few years, but I doubt this would be something I could bring up either. I mean hell, I couldn't even tell them about the whole vigilante thing. A living, breathing, fictional person inside my head? No way. I thought I was taking after my mom and losing my marbles at first, but you're right, this is just too real. In the past, I've gotten stuck in my own loops. There was never anyone else there, not like this.

And there seem to be a lot of us going through the same thing, so that helps.

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Re: Eleanor M / Iris R

soundofwings
2012-03-12 07:16 pm UTC (link)

Nothing can be as exciting as Seattle was. At least I hope not. I don't feel that would end well for me. As for the restlessness, that might be in your blood, not in your head. Your dad moved around a bit, from what I recall. Until he settled down into domestic bliss, that is.

Alfred, yes. My companion that travels in my mind. And that sounds crazier than usual lately on my part, but I hope you'll forgive me this once. And I do know what you mean, this is quite different. The voice is something new, but he's so self contained. With his own life and mind. Though my perceptions aren't usually to be trusted. I'm hoping to defer to others on this matter though, and hope it's not a complete fabrication in my own mind. If so, there are larger problems in store for me.

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Re: Eleanor M / Iris R

arrowette
2012-03-12 09:43 pm UTC (link)

Me neither. You might be right. I try to drown Orin out when he starts talking about the good old days, because honestly? That man has no filter. Maybe an Anton is just what I need too.

Not at all. I have a teenager named Arya in my head, so either we're both fine or not. Arya's much the same way. She has a life full of experiences and troubles I could never have dreamed up. I had never read the books until she came to me, so I don't think even my darker moments could have helped me conjure her up out of thin air.

Do you find yourself talking to Alfred out loud, as in a dialog? Or is he just his own presence somewhere?

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Re: Eleanor M / Iris R

soundofwings
2012-03-12 10:59 pm UTC (link)

Don't let Anton hear that. It'll go right to his head.

Alfred is older. Very proper. He knows what's going on for the most part, about everything, but he's always pretty calm about it even if he isn't 100% sure what's happening. He worries sometimes, but not in a way that makes me nervous or uneasy. He deals with a lot of stuff, and I think being in my crazy brain isn't the worst of it.

I try not to talk out loud much to him, even at home when I'm alone, because I'm afraid I'll get into the habit and then it'll slip out when I'm around others. The last thing I need is someone thinking I've gone completely off my head again. But I think he at least knows what I'm thinking. He talks, even if I don't respond out loud.

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Re: Eleanor M / Iris R

arrowette
2012-03-13 05:32 am UTC (link)

Spoiler alert: I think Anton already knows.

He sounds nice. Does he have friends in... other people's minds around here?

That's fair. I keep most of my conversation with Arya in my mind for pretty much the same reason. It's bad enough my inner monolog has turned into a dialog. I don't need for the rest of the world (or the media) to catch wind.

So, Iris, we both know why I have the M after the Eleanor. What does the R stand for?

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Re: Eleanor M / Iris R

soundofwings
2012-03-13 01:23 pm UTC (link)

[She actually laughs at that.] I think you might be right.

I suppose you could call them friends? He has the man he works for, and they're quite close. I know there are other people through that door, just from reading the journals, but I haven't actually met any of them. Even he's not certain of them, because they're from a different version of his story? It all seems overly complicated, but I believe that's how it goes. Have you found anyone else that your girl knows?

I can understand you not wanting people to find out. I don't imagine it would be very good for corporate confidence. Though I'm sure Orin could give you a few pointers on how to keep a company successful while you're balancing a tabloid social life. Avoiding that altogether does seem to be the most desirable, though.

[A pause of several minutes. She hadn't expected to run into people she knew, much less have to explain anything. She goes with the simplest answer.] Russell. I changed it after I left the hospital.

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Re: Eleanor M / Iris R

arrowette
2012-03-13 07:47 pm UTC (link)

That does seem complicated. My girl has a lot of craziness in her past, but I don't think there are multiple versions of her story running around. If there are, I at least haven't heard of it yet. I did run into [...] the man who has her father (who she had essentially watched die), but we weren't able to go through the door and so they still haven't been able to talk in person.

Yeah. The board looked the other way during Orin's hayday, but I doubt they'd be so kind to me. Orin seems to encourage my living my life, so I'm glad to have at least that. I don't know how I would have handled all of this when I was 18.

[The hospital. Right. Nell remembers all that.] Oh, I see. But why Russell?

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Re: Eleanor M / Iris R

soundofwings
2012-03-13 08:47 pm UTC (link)

I started looking around at all the different versions of his stories (though he claims they're not technically his, but his employer's). And there appears to be more than I can even count or keep track of. In different formats! They've already had problems with people being from different versions, and it's just all sorts of a mess. That's one of the things he worries about.

But I hope you get to sort things out on your end soon. I think everyone has their own problems, from what I've been able to tell.

It's good that you didn't have to handle that. It'll be enough when you do end up taking over. [...] And to be fair, he didn't always handle it the best either. I wouldn't put it past him that he gets that and that's why he's wanting you to get out there and figure things out first.

[...] ~~I knew someo~~ It felt like the right choice.

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Re: Eleanor M / Iris R

arrowette
2012-03-14 03:01 am UTC (link)

Wow. Just reading all that makes me dizzy. Is there anything he (or anyone else) that can do that can make things easier to sort out? Or is that just a silly question. I'm so out of my depth with all this that I don't even know what's a reasonable question and what isn't.

Sounds like it. I guess that's what makes a story interesting, right? All that conflict and uncertainty. I just think it would be nice if I didn't have enough of my own to add into the mix.

Yeah, that makes sense. The older I get, the more and more I realize just how scarily alike Orin and I really are. I guess nurture can only go so far to mask nature. Someone should alert the biologists.

I like it. It has a nice ring to it. The name Eleanor Monarch still sounds it belongs to someone a lot fancier than I will ever be.

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Re: Eleanor M / Iris R

soundofwings
2012-03-14 02:35 pm UTC (link)

I honestly don't know. He's worried about different people showing up that he's not used to, since he already tends to have his hands full with the manor and his employer. I've been thinking of trying to track things down to watch and read, just so he knows who might arrive. It's strange because sometimes he'll know things that don't fit in his version, and sometimes he doesn't. And at this point, I think anything is a reasonable question. Who knows.

Orin's done enough of his own type of nurturing since you found each other. Don't discount that as well. But yes, there are similarities. Good ones, never fear.

[...] It's a good name for me, I think. ~~Even if he wasn't a good man.~~ And Eleanor Monarch sounds like someone I'm glad to know. Though am I still allowed to call you Nell?

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Re: Eleanor M / Iris R

arrowette
2012-03-14 07:35 pm UTC (link)

Research sounds like a good idea. It's the only way I can think of to prepare, and Alfred might feel better for it if you do. Let me know if you need help tracking stuff down. My obscure nerd connections reach far and wide. The more I learn about all this, the less I'm beginning to think reason has anything to do with it. We just need to try and hold on to our sanities in the face of whatever comes our way.

Haha don't let him hear you say that. Nurturing doesn't go well with his grah I am man exterior. And you're too kind. I've learned that we share many of our non-so-nice qualities as well (and poor Anton has had to suffer through it).

Of course! Being called Eleanor always makes me think that I'm in trouble and need to go to the Principal's office. I'm still the same Nell.

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Re: Eleanor M / Iris R

soundofwings
2012-03-14 08:42 pm UTC (link)

I think I will start on my own and hopefully be able to find things that are helpful. Even just basics at this point. I think it will make me feel better. Like I'm helping.

And sanity can be a hard thing. Don't let go of it if you can help it.

Everyone that knows him knows that his exterior is just for show. I'm not afraid to say that he has a soft inside. As do you. And it seems as if Anton enjoys the suffering. Don't pity him too much.

You are slightly different. But we all are. You are still Nell though. Which I am glad to hear.

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Re: Eleanor M / Iris R

arrowette
2012-03-15 12:21 am UTC (link)

Sounds like you have a plan. Good.

I'm holding on to it for dear life. Especially since going through the door means I have to let her drive and get stuck in the backseat myself.

I guess we're just marshmallows, us Monarchs. And Anton is a masochist, so I stopped feeling really bad for him a while ago.

I'm glad you're here, Iris. I know we're family only in a strange, distant way, but every little bit helps.

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Re: Eleanor M / Iris R

soundofwings
2012-03-15 03:18 am UTC (link)

I don't know how successful of a plan, but I don't know what else to do.

I think I'm lucky there, because I trust Alfred. He seems to be able to handle almost anything, so I don't mind him taking over.

I'm glad to be here, I think. It's good to know people here, at least. And if you need anything, you should call me. [Number.] ~~Even if we aren't even strange distant fam~~ ~~We are family, at least in the ways that count.~~ [She doesn't even write out the last statements, so Nell doesn't see them or any cross-outs.]

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	Re: Eleanor M / Iris R arrowette 2012-03-15 09:33 pm UTC (link)
	Doing anything at all is half the battle. That's good. I trust mine to protect herself, but I don't know, I think we all know how much trouble I have letting someone else take control. Thanks, Iris. You can always reach me on here, at my cell phone [number]. (Reply to this) (Parent)

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