InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Scooby Doo, where are you?"

Akuba Maeko (giantfruitbyday) wrote in disappear_rpg,
@ 2009-12-27 03:49:00

Entry tags:

maeko, tom

Who: Maeko, Tom, Max
What: OHAI CAN I PLAY WITH PUPPY
Where: Dorms
When: After meeting sometime I think?
Why: Alter ego is depressing. This game needs more threads involving puppies.

It was strange, making her was to the dorms again. Even after just a few days away her mind no longer registered this as a home. Instead it was a place of danger. What if she ran into Kanaye? Or worse, Misaki? (Misaki in the boys dorm did not seem like such a strange event).

She had no soup this time but another plastic bag of (expressionless) oranges and a packet of throat lozenges in case Tom was still unwell. And a small bag of dog treats (it had taken a good deal of seeking out people and demanding information to find a kind that were meant for puppies, Maeko knew very little about dogs).

She'd proven herself excellent at driving people off lately. And that was why she was here. Tom had, back when she was actually trying, proved near impossible to drive off. Either she'd still have someone around or she'd have accomplished something today.

And also she wanted to see Max. She'd justified the risk of going through the dorms to herself with 'puppy!'.

"Hey Sagaki, you in?" She asked through the door, knocking on it.

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giantfruitbyday
2009-12-28 10:17 pm UTC (link)

Max was about the best thing in the world right now. Maeko's smile was fading quickly but she patted his head cheerfully.

"It'd probably be unwise to." She said, deciding it was best the incident at the butterfly room went unmentionned. Nothing but a stupid slip of judgement.

"It is, isn't it?" She sighed. Wasn't it supposed to be comforting to have this kind of control over herself? It just meant she had nobody to blame when she ruined everything. It would so so much easier to just follow instructions.

After a while longer of watching Max eat the treat, she finally spoke again. "I can't protect Aoi-san anymore. I don't know what I'd do instead. I never really had any other aim."

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ofmanydevices
2009-12-28 10:52 pm UTC (link)

Max could tell his friend was sad, and needed a heavy does of cute to help. (Because if she was happy she would give more treats.) He lightly stepped up onto her lap, and laid down with his front paws hanging off her knees.

Tom cocked his head to the side at her question. He contemplated sitting next to her, but didn't think she'd approve, or that they were close enough for it yet.

"It's just as well. Akuba-san... none of us can live our lives solely for someone else. I...

I guess you should ask yourself... what do you want?"

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giantfruitbyday
2009-12-28 11:07 pm UTC (link)

Maeko stroked Max quietly for a while, reflecting quietly on the fact hat she'd had to go to Tom for advice despite him being 3000% stupid while she considered the question. When she thought she was ready to answer she helf out another treat in her palm

"I want...I want to be able to be useful somehow. So I don't just die one day and get remembered only as that girl who couldn't talk. I'm lucky to have my health and my ears and a voice, it'd be selfish to go my life without using them when other people aren't so lucky. I want to use that stuff to make something better."

"...but that's not really specific, is it? I thought working on stopping all this from happenning might be a good thing to try but I think I'll always be a few steps too many behind everyone else to be of use."

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ofmanydevices
2009-12-29 04:18 pm UTC (link)

Max was pleased with the treat, and this time went face first into her hand. Touching his cold nose to her palm as he chomped down on the treat.

Tom shrugged.

"I don't know, I've always thought of you as one of the more significant members of the team.
I don't think any of us would have survived up until now, not without you or Kondo-san to keep us going. I know my Shadow considered you one of the biggest threats in the group, one that needed to be taken out first.

But... really, our persona's aren't entirely us. And outside of Paradise you're always trying, and I think someone that had to work for everything they have is a much stronger person then someone who just had things handed to them."

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giantfruitbyday
2009-12-29 04:39 pm UTC (link)

Maeko reflected briefly on the fact that she lived in a world where 'I decided I needed to kill you first' was a genuine compliment. It was also a world where a puppy was headbutting her hand so it wasn't that bad.

Maybe it was the fact that she'd had to think about how bizzare it was that it got through rather than instantly being dismissed as stupid. It was still stupid, naturally, but maybe there was some value in her one skill.

"Still, Ideka-san and Aoi-san can do the same as well as being able to fight." She vocalized her next thought without thinking too much about it.

"It doesn't make that much difference how much you try, really. People only give that token respect when you're a kid. In the end it's just about what you know or don't know or have and don't have or can and can't get done." She shrugged as she said it, she didn't even sound bitter.

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ofmanydevices
2009-12-30 05:28 am UTC (link)

Tom scoffed.

"Then they're stupid. A person who understands what it's like to not have something, and work to get it is someone you can rely on far more then someone who just has those things handed to them."

Tom walked over to the closet, and pulled out an old comic book. He held it up for Maeko to see.

"When all you have is super strength, eventually the only way you can think of to deal with any problem is to smash it.
If someone has to think about every problem, they're far more capable of dealing with any problem."

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	giantfruitbyday 2009-12-30 05:44 pm UTC (link)
	Maeko shook her head. "I think they're right. It doesn't matter in the end how much effort's gone into something if you're contributing the same amount. It doesn't really bother me that much. She gave what might have been a laugh. "Hurting people's still my solution to everything. I'm just bad at-" She fell quiet looked at the cover of the comic book. (Reply to this) (Parent)

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