InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Insouciant."

Oubai, Kouchisei (daioujou) wrote in disappear_rpg,
@ 2009-12-21 04:43:00

Entry tags:

kiriko, kou

Who: Kiriko, Kou.
What: Encounter.
Where: School Roof.
When: Lunchtime.
Why: Advice.

The roof was thankfully quiet, and a place where dazzling sunlight pursued the students of Nanakamado relentlessly, for there was no place of profound darkness. It was almost the time that the sun would be in high noon. Kouchisei was seated alone on one of the few benches kept close to the railing. A napkin and bento box were resting on top of his lap, the fabric dangling over his legs that moved backwards and forwards in idleness. There was no peace because there was no certainty if he would last. Kiriko had been called for advice, and he wouldn't be lying if he said the thought of dealing with her was akin to despair.

Kiriko would think he didn't know how to love someone, he believed; she'd be right. He didn't want this to make Kozue happy so muh as to keep her happy.

And it wasn't a good sign that he wasn't hungry.

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	apathyisboring 2009-12-21 06:36 am UTC (link)
	Kiriko arched a brow. Did he really expect to get away with an evasion so obvious? "You're concerned about your relationship with Kozue-san." Subtlety and vague allusion weren't working, but she was not prepared to let him off the hook. "How much do you like her, and what are your worries, specifically?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

daioujou
2009-12-21 05:18 pm UTC (link)

Kouchisei, after a moment, finally spoke but with reluctance:

"I'm scared, I suppose. I'm not sure what to do next," he admitted. After all he hadn't focused much on women in his life, except his mother. Most would find it hard to live up to her.

"Whether or not she gets something from this relationship, I want things to be able to go back to the way they were." He rested his hands on his thighs. "Probably lucky for you, since you got something to talk about."

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apathyisboring
2009-12-21 07:18 pm UTC (link)

She smiled when he finished speaking, but it was difficult to read. He was being amusingly sentimental in his own way. Having witnessed a relationship between Kozue and another group member, why would he think it wouldn't go back to normal? Ah, but then that meant he wasn't planning for the long term? Interesting.

"I don't think you need to worry about that part. She can handle it." Probably better than he could.

"Anyway, you don't need to be scared. Just... loosen up. Have fun. Isn't that the whole point?"

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	daioujou 2009-12-21 07:38 pm UTC (link)
	Kou was silent for a moment. Kiriko hadn't confirmed she was the worst information-gatherer in this school, so she must be, he thought. He then spoke in a frustrated voice. "Why do people think I have to loosen up," he indicated it with his fingers, "to have fun?" A scoff. "I have fun." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	apathyisboring 2009-12-21 07:56 pm UTC (link)
	She laughed behind her hand at his finger-wiggling. That was certainly unanticipated. "What kind of fun do you have? Being nervous certainly isn't any fun." She paused for another bite of food. "So just relax." More thoughtful chewing. The silence was somewhat awkward, but Kiriko didn't seem to notice. "So - you're worried. You like her a lot, then?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	daioujou 2009-12-21 08:49 pm UTC (link)
	Kou methodically checked his bento. Fish, rice, meat; Kiriko had better be eating her own. Worrying about that also stopped him answering her question. Eating his lunch worked just as well, he thought. So he did it. "Plenty," he said, mouth empty. Though what it answered was vague. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	apathyisboring 2009-12-22 07:17 am UTC (link)
	Her own lunch was nearly half-finished by now. A clever eye would have determined that she'd stolen a second pickle earlier but the rest of Kou's lunch was intact. "Enthusiastic. What's wrong with your lunch?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

daioujou
2009-12-22 07:25 am UTC (link)

Kou was worrying about more than pickles and enthusiasm. Love? He never had understood what sex had to do with it. He really wanted to think better of Kozue, but that was a large part of her reputation, and the accusations towards her of it were unwelcome. He didn't need the hassle.

He spoke with his mouth empty.

"Nothing. I like it packed specifically. If it's out of place, I feel like I have to move it. It's strange." A pause. "This conversation's also stale if this is all we have to discuss."

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	apathyisboring 2009-12-22 07:36 am UTC (link)
	Kiriko shrugged and leaned back against the rail. "Well then, if that's all you wanted to say. I thought I could help with answering more than that, though." She continued on with her lunch and landscape gazing with apparent indifference. Nonchalance would probably work best in this case. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

daioujou
2009-12-22 07:45 am UTC (link)

"I thought it would be, but..."

He swung his feet and caught himself with how childish it was. Getting all the advice he could was probably the right thing, since he wouldn't have the nerves to ask again. Plus if Kiriko said he'd asked her of this, nobody would believe her, because nobody would believe he'd said it.

"This is a personal matter of some delicacy. She wants to go shopping, but I don't. What's the firmest way of saying no?"

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	apathyisboring 2009-12-22 07:35 pm UTC (link)
	Kiriko blinked. Shopping? A personal matter? Was he traumatized by credit cards as a child? "... Um. I guess you should just say you'd prefer not to go..." She tugged thoughtfully at a lock of hair. Why was this even an issue?! "... And then say you'll make it up to her, by taking her somewhere else or getting her a gift or something like that." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	daioujou 2009-12-22 10:00 pm UTC (link)
	He scowled. Was Kiriko always this obstinate? She had impressed upon him that she wasn't. It hadn't gone over well. "I'm not talking about that. I meant... you know. That." Funnily enough, it was still awkward to give it a name in public. He didn't understand why people were obsessed with it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	apathyisboring 2009-12-28 06:04 pm UTC (link)
	That? She stared back confused for a minute, but finally clued in. Her recoil was slight but still visible - Why was he asking her of all people! Guys were supposed to ask other guys about that sort of thing! "... Wait, you... don't want to?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

daioujou
2009-12-29 04:05 am UTC (link)

Kou hadn't known many people before this mess happened. It had been hard, getting to know eleven different people. He'd found it easier talking to her than the likes of Satou or Ito, he thought. The former would discuss it with all the other guys, and the latter would treat it like it was meant something.

Intimacy made him want to vomit.

"Uh, no?"

Really, now. What was wrong with that? His words put that to her, though he had not noticed if they were amiss.

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apathyisboring
2009-12-30 07:39 pm UTC (link)

Kiriko tried not to frown any more than was usual as she ran down a list of possible reasons in her mind. STDs? Irrational fear of STDs? Gay and only using Kozue as a cover story? Erectile dysfunction? Really ugly junk? Awful childhood trauma? On the off-chance it was the last one she proceeded tactfully.

"Well... I suppose it's the same as what I said earlier. You'll just have to tell her that you don't want to, and why."

She wondered if any reason would be good enough for Kozue to accept, but hey, he could find that out for himself when the time came.

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daioujou
2009-12-31 04:27 am UTC (link)

The fact was that Kou hated people.

"Right," he replied firmly, sitting up some. He considered whether it was hate or fear, either of which meant he couldn't get close to other people, and decided it was the latter. He didn't see anything wrong with it. He wasn't hurting anyone. Importantly, he was comfortable.

"You'll keep this to yourself of course." It seemed presumpteous, but he was wondering if Kiriko would do anything to take the matter out of his control. "Don't mention it to anyone. Please."

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	apathyisboring 2010-01-01 07:26 am UTC (link)
	Her eyebrow lifted. Was that an order? It lowered again with the addition of 'please.' Cooly, she took another bite of her lunch, then nodded to him in confirmation. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	daioujou 2010-01-03 02:41 am UTC (link)
	Their business had finished. He thought about staying longer, but found himself checking his cuffs; he saw no reason to stay because there were things he could be doing. They weren't that close. He didn't see why he had to spend more time with her. He picked up his box and stood up. "Thanks." Then he went to leave. (Reply to this) (Parent)

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