InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Kinky!"

Akuba Maeko (giantfruitbyday) wrote in disappear_rpg,
@ 2009-10-22 17:47:00

Entry tags:

maeko, misaki

awkward...
Who: Maeko, Misaki
What: A conversation neither of them really want to have.
Where: Their dorm room
When: Evening, after the rerun
Why: Because change isn't alwys right.

Maeko closed the lid of the box and locked it. The lock was the cheap kind that came with diaries bought for very small girls but ti wasn't really there to be secure, just to make her feel better. Lock closed, it wasn't something she needed to worry about anymore.

In silence (because everything in this room for the last few days had been done in silence) she finished wandering through the room, putting loose things away as she ran into them. It wouldn't do to have this conversation in a messy room. Just like last night it wouldn't do to have this conversation while there was still tape gunk all over. The night before she couldn't have this conversation before she'd done the laundry and attempted to write with the stupid mittens. She could keep putting it off in this manner indefinately.

Except much as she wanted to she didn't intend to keep doing this. So she stopped, forcing herself to ignore everything else.

"Misa-chan?" She started, starting a conversation for the first time in days.

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	giantfruitbyday 2009-10-22 06:50 pm UTC (link)
	Maeko shook her head. "I'm still sorry for that, that's why I'm doing this. Even after that I didn't stop hurting you, I've just been doing it in a different way..." "Senpai? Why would he tell me to say anything like this? You never screwed up, this is my fault. It's not yours." Yup, this was even more difficult than she was bracing herself for it to be. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

pinksunbeam
2009-10-22 07:04 pm UTC (link)

Misaki fell to her knees, "It's not true...it's not...You..." tears were slipping down her face now. "You were always there for me. For five years you've...you've been nothing but suportive. Even when I failed you told me just to get up, that it would be okay, and just to try harder. And...and I did. I...wanted to make you happy Maeko. j-just like y-you make me..."

Trembling she looked up at the older girl, "What that shadow said wasn't true...you don't think like that. You did but that's not you Maeko-chan, it's not...You can't just..."

Misaki started to sob harder now, "I promise I'll be a good person. I'll do whatever it is that you want Maeko-chan. Just don't leave me! Please...Please...you're the only real friend that I have. I can't...I'll die with out you. I just know I will."

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giantfruitbyday
2009-10-22 07:26 pm UTC (link)

So. In hindsight this was going to make sharing a room really, really awkward.

"You won't. You have other friends. You have Kondo-san and Ikeda-san and-" a slight pause, flinching for a second before she continued. "Ito."

So she was admitting it. Ito was a better friend to Misaki than she was. Okay, she was just going to go curl up under her bed now...

"You're not a bad person, not at all. It's just..." So how to explain this? "Remember when you told me about how you used to talk to imaginary friends? The Misa-chan I thought was friends with, she was am imaginary person I was forcing you to be. And I shouldn't. You're your own person, not mine, and you have the right to choose who you want to be just as much as I do."

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pinksunbeam
2009-10-22 08:10 pm UTC (link)

"But...Keiichi-sempai isn't you! And...And Kozue-chan is nice and all but I...I don't feel close to her at all, and Kiriko-chan...she...she thinks I'm a pain at times." Misaki sobbed harder. How could this be happening.

Sniffling she nodded some, "But when you became my friend they just sort of vanished from my head...You...you filled that empty place Maeko-chan..."

Imaginary person...is that how she see me? That I'm not there...Oh god... Misaki was shriviling up and trembling badly. "I'm not my own person...I want to be with you Maeko-chan. I love you so much...I want to be a person that Maeko-chan likes. I want to be friends with Maeko-chan."

She was starting to babble like a child.

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giantfruitbyday
2009-10-22 08:21 pm UTC (link)

"You are your own person. Don't- please don't cry..." Maeko bit her lip, suddenly very glad she'd prepared an overnight bag just in case. It looked like she was going to be spending tonight, at least, at home. "If you need anything...like if someone's picking on you or if you don't understand work or anything like that. You can still come to me. I promised I'd protect you, not that I'd be your friend."

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pinksunbeam
2009-10-22 08:32 pm UTC (link)

"You said you would be my friend! Don't take it back now!" Misaki shouted and was like a puppy that had just been hit by something hard in the head for making a mess on the comforter. She was shaking and holding her head.

"You...You told me back then...you said you wanted to...How...why...." Tears were running down her face. Her heart heart so bad, it was like she was drowning. "Wait...where are you going. Please don't go Maeko!"

The smaller girl threw her arms around Maeko's legs and sobbed helplessly into her skit. "Please don't leave me! I don't have anyone else Maeko...I don't want to go back there! Please! I'm scared Maeko!"

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giantfruitbyday
2009-10-22 08:58 pm UTC (link)

This was significantly more dramatic than she'd expected this to be. In her head it had involved her saying 'bye' and walking off and Misaki just going to find new friends. Except walking off was difficult since they lived in the same room and also because Misaki had hold of her legs.

"I have to." Maeko said, shaking her head. "This is important, I'm sorry."

"You don't have to go anywhere. I'll stay here so you don't have to be on your own. We just can't talk any more."

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	pinksunbeam 2009-10-22 10:36 pm UTC (link)
	"No! You can't do this...I can't..." Misaki's grip tightend. "I can't....I don't want to be like that...I don't want to just...exisit Maeko-chan...I don't..." She let Maeko go and stood up slowly mumbling, "You...you should stay...it's your room. I need...I can't stay here...I can't..." Misaki turned fast and ran out the door slaming it hard behind her. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	giantfruitbyday 2009-10-22 10:58 pm UTC (link)
	Maeko wasn't entirely sure what to do. She could go after Misa or- No. That would only make things worse. She clambered onto her bed and headbutted her pillow. If she hadn't been raised to see such a thing as completely pointless she might have been crying. As it was, she was just mad at herself for screwing up something so simple so badly. (Reply to this) (Parent)

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