InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "The pickle people prefer"

Akuba Maeko (giantfruitbyday) wrote in disappear_rpg,
@ 2009-10-22 17:47:00

Entry tags:

maeko, misaki

awkward...
Who: Maeko, Misaki
What: A conversation neither of them really want to have.
Where: Their dorm room
When: Evening, after the rerun
Why: Because change isn't alwys right.

Maeko closed the lid of the box and locked it. The lock was the cheap kind that came with diaries bought for very small girls but ti wasn't really there to be secure, just to make her feel better. Lock closed, it wasn't something she needed to worry about anymore.

In silence (because everything in this room for the last few days had been done in silence) she finished wandering through the room, putting loose things away as she ran into them. It wouldn't do to have this conversation in a messy room. Just like last night it wouldn't do to have this conversation while there was still tape gunk all over. The night before she couldn't have this conversation before she'd done the laundry and attempted to write with the stupid mittens. She could keep putting it off in this manner indefinately.

Except much as she wanted to she didn't intend to keep doing this. So she stopped, forcing herself to ignore everything else.

"Misa-chan?" She started, starting a conversation for the first time in days.

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pinksunbeam
2009-10-22 05:16 pm UTC (link)

Misaki was busy on her bed finishing off the latest in a series of sketches based on things she had been looking at. One, in particular, she was trying to hid from Maeko. It was, to put it simply, a light red jacket with detailed embording on the lapels that were emerald gree vines with strawberries on them. The same were on the sleeves. The skrit was knee lenght that flared just a bit to show a hint of Maeko's nice shape, and also had the same strawberry highlights.

Misaki paused when Maeko spoke up, this was the first time in several days that the girl actually openly engaged in conversation with her, "Oh Maeko-chan, sorry I was...er...working on something."

She shut the book carefully, so as not to show Maeko the outfit. It was going to be a gift for the anniversery of their friendship. Misaki realized she was going to have to tell her about the job, so that she could explain where the money for the dinner party she was planning for everyone came from. But that could wait.

Sitting up she grinned, "Something you wanted to talk about? OH! Almost forgot. I found a job, just like you asked."

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	giantfruitbyday 2009-10-22 05:19 pm UTC (link)
	Oh hey, a brief change of subject! Those were good! Maeko smiled. "Hey, congratulations! Where?" Okay, so maybe she was still looking for an easy way out of doing this. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

pinksunbeam
2009-10-22 05:24 pm UTC (link)

"Well you know Haruka-sempai right, the head of the drama club? Well...a few days ago before everything happened, I...well I was kinda looking for something,and I went to get lunch. And you know me, when I'm thinking I just wander. So I found myself at this place called the Barabara Rankun, it means two palaces. It's a...cafe...of sorts. Very nice people that work there they're all energetic." She grinned happily and leaned over towards Maeko.

"Well it seemed like a nice place to work so I applied and the manager Ninomiya-san said I'm very friendly and good with costumes, like making them and such, and so he asked me if I could start work tomorrow." She looked cheerful. "Now I can help pay for the room and everything!"

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giantfruitbyday
2009-10-22 05:37 pm UTC (link)

"A cafe...with costumes?" Maeko didn't sound particularly sure about that. Shen her disposition seemed to change completely and she grinned again, nodding. "That's great! Well done!"

Another pause. Oh hey, nother distraction! Awesome!

"Wait, doesn't that mean something different?" She asked, wondering vaguely about how they were having a discussion about the meaning of a term in thoer own language.

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pinksunbeam
2009-10-22 05:46 pm UTC (link)

"Hummm," Misaki thought for a moment, "Oh...you're right. I'm thinking of his name, well my managers. He said it ment two palaces." She giggled some and shook her head, "Would be very weird to have place named Two palaces and not be like, a chinese restruant or something."

She paused and then grinned, "I was worried that you wouldn't like it. But it's nothing like the devil's torte, they don't let creeps in, and it's a small family run thing so...they treat everyone there like family. And they have themes so girls don't have to always wear maid stuff, you can wear like the uniform they were on Ultimate Sci-fi, you know the whole miltary one."

Misaki grabbed hold of Maeko's hand and smiled, "Please come and visit okay? I want you to be the first customer I have."

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giantfruitbyday
2009-10-22 05:56 pm UTC (link)

Brace self. Gather strength. Was there a variation of mind charge that worked for confidence in conversations? If so she was cursing Baba Yaga for not being capable of using it.

Drop smile. Pull hands back. Shake head. Sigh was unintentional. Look up. Deep breath. That exhale contained no words, try again. Another deep breath.

"I'm sorry." Maeko started. Too loud, lower volume. "I'm not sure. I don't think...I've been using you as an excuse to keep being her for too long now. It's doing damage. For five years, I've been keeping myself from being anything but your protector and I've been keeping you from learing how to function in the real world. Everything she said over there was true. I have thought that way before." This is too long. Get it done with quickly before breath runs out. "I don't think we can be friends."

And take a step back, just to be safe.

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pinksunbeam
2009-10-22 06:30 pm UTC (link)

Misaki paused and just stared. Excuse...doing damage...Keeping herself being anything but a protector...Is that how she really saw it...learning not to function...what is she...

She couldn't speak, couldn't even think straight. Misaki slowly got up and looked around the room. "Wait...what...But that time, in the bathroom. When I was trying to fix my bandages. When you helped me and said you were sorry for all the things you said to me, DID to me! And now...you're saying you don't want to be friends..."

Tears were forming on her eyes, "Did Kanaye-sempai set this up? Did he tell you to say this? What did I do wrong Maeko-chan? What...Where did I screw up. Just tell me and...and I'll change."

Misaki looked at her and felt her knees go weak.

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	giantfruitbyday 2009-10-22 06:50 pm UTC (link)
	Maeko shook her head. "I'm still sorry for that, that's why I'm doing this. Even after that I didn't stop hurting you, I've just been doing it in a different way..." "Senpai? Why would he tell me to say anything like this? You never screwed up, this is my fault. It's not yours." Yup, this was even more difficult than she was bracing herself for it to be. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

pinksunbeam
2009-10-22 07:04 pm UTC (link)

Misaki fell to her knees, "It's not true...it's not...You..." tears were slipping down her face now. "You were always there for me. For five years you've...you've been nothing but suportive. Even when I failed you told me just to get up, that it would be okay, and just to try harder. And...and I did. I...wanted to make you happy Maeko. j-just like y-you make me..."

Trembling she looked up at the older girl, "What that shadow said wasn't true...you don't think like that. You did but that's not you Maeko-chan, it's not...You can't just..."

Misaki started to sob harder now, "I promise I'll be a good person. I'll do whatever it is that you want Maeko-chan. Just don't leave me! Please...Please...you're the only real friend that I have. I can't...I'll die with out you. I just know I will."

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giantfruitbyday
2009-10-22 07:26 pm UTC (link)

So. In hindsight this was going to make sharing a room really, really awkward.

"You won't. You have other friends. You have Kondo-san and Ikeda-san and-" a slight pause, flinching for a second before she continued. "Ito."

So she was admitting it. Ito was a better friend to Misaki than she was. Okay, she was just going to go curl up under her bed now...

"You're not a bad person, not at all. It's just..." So how to explain this? "Remember when you told me about how you used to talk to imaginary friends? The Misa-chan I thought was friends with, she was am imaginary person I was forcing you to be. And I shouldn't. You're your own person, not mine, and you have the right to choose who you want to be just as much as I do."

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pinksunbeam
2009-10-22 08:10 pm UTC (link)

"But...Keiichi-sempai isn't you! And...And Kozue-chan is nice and all but I...I don't feel close to her at all, and Kiriko-chan...she...she thinks I'm a pain at times." Misaki sobbed harder. How could this be happening.

Sniffling she nodded some, "But when you became my friend they just sort of vanished from my head...You...you filled that empty place Maeko-chan..."

Imaginary person...is that how she see me? That I'm not there...Oh god... Misaki was shriviling up and trembling badly. "I'm not my own person...I want to be with you Maeko-chan. I love you so much...I want to be a person that Maeko-chan likes. I want to be friends with Maeko-chan."

She was starting to babble like a child.

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giantfruitbyday
2009-10-22 08:21 pm UTC (link)

"You are your own person. Don't- please don't cry..." Maeko bit her lip, suddenly very glad she'd prepared an overnight bag just in case. It looked like she was going to be spending tonight, at least, at home. "If you need anything...like if someone's picking on you or if you don't understand work or anything like that. You can still come to me. I promised I'd protect you, not that I'd be your friend."

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pinksunbeam
2009-10-22 08:32 pm UTC (link)

"You said you would be my friend! Don't take it back now!" Misaki shouted and was like a puppy that had just been hit by something hard in the head for making a mess on the comforter. She was shaking and holding her head.

"You...You told me back then...you said you wanted to...How...why...." Tears were running down her face. Her heart heart so bad, it was like she was drowning. "Wait...where are you going. Please don't go Maeko!"

The smaller girl threw her arms around Maeko's legs and sobbed helplessly into her skit. "Please don't leave me! I don't have anyone else Maeko...I don't want to go back there! Please! I'm scared Maeko!"

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giantfruitbyday
2009-10-22 08:58 pm UTC (link)

This was significantly more dramatic than she'd expected this to be. In her head it had involved her saying 'bye' and walking off and Misaki just going to find new friends. Except walking off was difficult since they lived in the same room and also because Misaki had hold of her legs.

"I have to." Maeko said, shaking her head. "This is important, I'm sorry."

"You don't have to go anywhere. I'll stay here so you don't have to be on your own. We just can't talk any more."

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	pinksunbeam 2009-10-22 10:36 pm UTC (link)
	"No! You can't do this...I can't..." Misaki's grip tightend. "I can't....I don't want to be like that...I don't want to just...exisit Maeko-chan...I don't..." She let Maeko go and stood up slowly mumbling, "You...you should stay...it's your room. I need...I can't stay here...I can't..." Misaki turned fast and ran out the door slaming it hard behind her. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	giantfruitbyday 2009-10-22 10:58 pm UTC (link)
	Maeko wasn't entirely sure what to do. She could go after Misa or- No. That would only make things worse. She clambered onto her bed and headbutted her pillow. If she hadn't been raised to see such a thing as completely pointless she might have been crying. As it was, she was just mad at herself for screwing up something so simple so badly. (Reply to this) (Parent)