Tweak

InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "A lady to see ya'"

ofmanydevices (ofmanydevices) wrote in disappear_rpg,
@ 2009-08-03 15:03:00

Entry tags:

Who: Tom and Misaki
What: Tom melts down
Where: Rooftops of the dorm
When: Monday evening
Why: Because he should have known

Tom stood on the roof of the dorms, looking out at the setting sun. He could almost feel his heart beat, and anger surged through him so much that his body was shaking, but the anger was undirected, and mixed with profound sadness and disappointment.
He'd known. It would have been one thing if he hadn't been there, or if he hadn't noticed it, but Tom had followed them on the school trip expecting the killer to strike. He knew, or at least he was relatively sure that people's shadows were coming out of Paradise while they were trapped inside. He'd watched that camp all night looking for suspicious behavior, and he'd seen Aomori acting odd, he'd noted it and done nothing. He shut his eyes and dropped his head trying to control the powerful emotions that tore at him.

Another person was dead, and it was his fault.

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pinksunbeam
2009-08-04 03:24 am UTC (link)

Misaki watched as Tom started to jump back and then ramble some, she scowled and looked at him carefully, "What do you mean you saw it...Sagaki-san, what did you see? Please tell me! If something happened to Aomori-sensei and we missed it..."

She bit her lip, this was bad. Misaki noiced the way he was going and grabbed him pulling him back, "Sagaki-san watch yourself! You're going to fall off the roof!"

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ofmanydevices
2009-08-04 03:54 am UTC (link)

"No no stop I..."

Once Misaki had pulled him back from the edge, he put his hands on her shoulders. It took all his sense to hold his composure and push her away.

"Aomori, I saw him I saw him before he died! I knew the Shadows came out of Paradise and I saw him acting suspicious, and I DIDN'T Do ANYTHING ABOUT IT!"

Tom slapped his palm to his forehead. He was far too upset to realize that he was spilling his cuts to Aoi, and far to upset to worry about what she thought of him afterward.

"I went on the trip because I thought the killer was going to do something. I was there I saw it and DIDN'T DO A THING! I've been studying and training for a year to stop this and it HAPPENED AGAIN!"

Tom sucked in a breath closed his eyes and screamed in english.

"GOD DAMN IT!!!"

He spun away from Misaki and toward the wall and put his left hand to the wall. His right balled up in a fist and slammed into the brick. The first punch was strong enough to split his knuckles, but that didn't stop him from punching three more times leaving a bloody smear there. He turned back toward the setting sun and screamed putting all his anguish and rage into it.
After that Tom seemed drained, he fell back against the wall, and slid down it to the ground. Knees pulled up in front of him. His head dropped forward.

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pinksunbeam
2009-08-04 05:09 am UTC (link)

Misaki was shocked by his sudden outburst and stared at him unsure what to make of it, trying desperately to peice together what she could from it.

"Wait...Wait a second Sagaki-san, I don't..." she tried to calm down. Just think like the Great detective does peice things together. Misaki thought and took a few deep breath watching as Tom injured himself. Misaki wasn't sure what to make of it, but needless to say, while she was terrifed by his sudden outburst, she sucked in her fears and went over to sit beside him.

First she picked up his injured hand and put some antiseptic on it that she kept with her just in case she cut her self in cooking, and wrapped her kerchif over his bleeding knuckles, since a bandage wouldn't cover it and tied it tightly enoungh then wrapped her arms around Tom gently.

"It's okay Sagaki-sempai, now start slowly. When did you see Aomori sensei in paradise? What do you mean you've been working for a year on this? This just happened recently, how could you have been, unless there was something earlier like this that we didn't know about." She looked at him with worried eyes.

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ofmanydevices
2009-08-04 05:23 am UTC (link)

Tom didn't fight back when she began to bandage his hand. When she hugged him his body got stiff, but he didn't push her away.

"This isn't the first time in my life someone died, and I could have stopped it. And I didn't see him in Paradise."

At that point Tom seemed to be able to endure the hugging no longer. He gulped, and his heart was racing. He reached up and pulled Misaki's arms from him, as carefully as if they were egg shells.

He sat silently then, looking away from her.

"I guess now... you know what's wrong with me.

I... I actually care about people. I know it's... wrong."

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pinksunbeam
2009-08-04 05:32 am UTC (link)

"Um...Sagaki-san, that's not true. Caring about people is the right thing to do. If you don't care about people then you have an issue. Being worried about someone, telling them that you want to stay safe is normal. Everyone should care about others, if not then we'd all be very very sad indviduals." Misaki sat on the ground near him. She was very suprised by his sudden comment. More so then about the sudden outburst.

Misaki looked at him, "Why do you think that careing about others is a bad thing? Who told you that? Whoever they were they were really wrong in saying that to you."

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ofmanydevices
2009-08-04 05:36 am UTC (link)

Tom looked at Misaki confused. As if she had just explained that people also had the capacity to fly, and did not require oxygen to breathe.

"Are you- making fun of me?

I try alright, I know that everyone just... pretends to be friendly it's the social contract. I never pretended to be friendly but I didn't hang it out there that I..."

He shook his head and reasted his face in his hands.

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pinksunbeam
2009-08-04 05:47 am UTC (link)

Misaki really looked confused now. Making fun of him...why would he even think that! She would never do anything of the sort.

"No Sagaki-sempai! I would never do that! And if someone pretends to be friendly then they're being silly. We're not like that. NO one here pretends to be friendly, at least...I know I'm not like that. You shouldn't pretend either...people really do want to be friends with one another it's natural."

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ofmanydevices
2009-08-04 06:19 am UTC (link)

Tom searched her face, he was completely lost by what she was saying. She certainly didn't seem to be making fun of him. Maybe she had the same problem, she cared. That would explain a lot of her behavior.

But it would make things even worse. Because Tom knew something would happen, and he couldn't take any more of that.

"Right... uh, okay. Uh thank you Aoi-san, I'm sorry you had to see me like this."

He stood up and brushed himself off.

"I think there's a lot I need to do now. I will return your bandage soon."

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	pinksunbeam 2009-08-04 06:35 am UTC (link)
	"Sagaki-sempai, are you going to be okay? You seem really shaken up. At least let me walk you down stairs." Misaki got up and smiled, "And it's okay you can keep it. You need it more then I do. Just don't go picking fights with brick walls, they'll always win." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ofmanydevices 2009-08-04 06:41 am UTC (link)
	Tom stepped back to the door back into the dorms. His head lowered, and his mask was back in place. His deadpan tone returned when he spoke. "It's fine, I won't make the same mistakes again. I'm alright now. Besides, you have something to do... with Ishiomori right?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	pinksunbeam 2009-08-04 06:50 am UTC (link)
	"Well yes, but he won't be back for a while I think. He probably went to pick up something, so I can at least check on your hand," Misaki pointed out and followed him. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ofmanydevices 2009-08-04 07:24 am UTC (link)
	Tom immediately pulled his right hand close and covered it. He spoke quickly. "It's fine. And besides I'm going to my dorm room. I don't want you to know where it is." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	pinksunbeam 2009-08-04 07:27 am UTC (link)
	"But, why not? We're on the same team Sagaki-sempai. And Well wouldn't it be better to let someone know where your room was so we can check on you, like in the event you feel sick and need homework dropped off? You wouldn't want it to be Retsu-sempai would you?" Misaki pointed out and walked behind him slightly. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ofmanydevices 2009-08-04 07:33 am UTC (link)
	"I don't like people checking up on me. If I was sick I would still take care of my school work. And I told you I'm not on the team, I'm not one of you people. I think you all could use my help, and I know I can't save the people in Paradise on my own, so we work together. That's it." He walked down the stairs quickly, heading for the first floor. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	pinksunbeam 2009-08-04 04:20 pm UTC (link)
	"Now you're just being silly!" Misaki followed him worried a bit that he might grab her arm again but hurried along. "We were doing okay before you came along, Sempai. You need us just as much." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

ofmanydevices
2009-08-04 04:41 pm UTC (link)

"I said that. But it still doesn't make me on the team. Just because someone has a persona doesn't mean they are automatically one of you guys.

Hell I bet the killer is a persona user."

Tom reached a door to the outside, and turned back to Misaki. He put his hands out to keep her from takig steps forward, but tried to avoid actually touching her.

"Alright, I'm fine, everything is fine. I have work to do, and you need to go now."

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pinksunbeam
2009-08-04 04:46 pm UTC (link)

"You are not alright Segaki-sempai! If you were then you wouldn't have been on top of the roof like that! And we don't know if they are or not! Why would anyone willingly throw someone into that world if they KNOW what will happen? That's just...so...very wrong, on so many level's it's not even funny." Misaki pointed out and blushed. She didn't like to raise her voice but she'd been doing it more and more and it was making her sick.

"You think that it doesn't? You know as well as I do that that's not true. You have the same power as we do, you want to find the person who did this."

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ofmanydevices
2009-08-04 05:13 pm UTC (link)

"Fine I'm not alright, but I'll deal with it alone, just like I always do!
And yes, pushing someone into Paradise knowing what will happen to them is wrong, and it's terrible, and it happens *all* the time. It's called murder, and whether the weapon is a gun, or a knife, or a parallel world, it still happens plenty."

He pushed open the door, and stepped out of the dorms, then turned back to look at her.

"And I do want to solve this, I do want the same thing as the rest of you. But I'm *NOT* on the team. I don't want to do any kind of friendship building, when this is over I walk away. After this I'm not going to be dealing with any of you ever again."

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pinksunbeam
2009-08-04 05:22 pm UTC (link)

Misaki stared at him with wide eyes, "But we don't know anything about the person. Sagaki-sempai, listen jusst for a moment please. It's not a good idea to just deal with it alone. You'll only wind up getting hurt. At least talk to someone about it!"

She shook her head, "You can't...you can't do that Sempai. When you've been through a lot with other people, you can't just walk away. Even police say that when they have a partner. You can't walk away from that person because you've been through so much. Not even comic heros do that!"

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ofmanydevices
2009-08-04 05:51 pm UTC (link)

"THAT'S WHY I"M WALKING AWAY NOW!"

She had pushed Tom to the point where he could no longer keep it inside.

"That's why I'm not part of the team! Because I'm going to go, we're all going to go, and I need it to be easier."

Tom put his hand to his head and let out a sigh. His shoulder slumped slightly defeated and he looked at her differently then when he was trying to brush her off.

"Look... Aoi-san. I get it. I get you have the same feelings I do, you care about people and I believe that.
But I'm not a... I'm not a group person, I'm not a friends person okay? I'll do my best to help you all, and I don't think that I can do this on my own, but I just can't...
Please respect my desire to stay away. Don't make this harder on me then it has to alright?
Just... let me be me, and let it go."

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pinksunbeam
2009-08-04 06:08 pm UTC (link)

"I don't see why you can't be, if you care about people that means that you can be. Who says we're all going to go? I'm not going to let anyone tell me who I can and can't be friends with Sagaki-san, and neither should you. Just becuase you think that it's not normal to be friends with people, doesn't mean that you're right. In fact, you're very wrong in this case."

Misaki moved closer to look at him, "If I didn't care about you, why would I waste my time trying to convince you that others care?"

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	ofmanydevices 2009-08-05 03:57 am UTC (link)
	"No, AOi... I..." Tom sighed, and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Bad things happen to the people close to me. I just... why is this so hard for you? It's easier for me, and you and all of us if I just do things my way. Just let it go, and leave me alone." Tom turned and began walking quickly along the outside wall of the school. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

pinksunbeam
2009-08-05 03:54 pm UTC (link)

Misaki shook her head and followed after him, "Well that's just silly to say Sagaki-san! You can't just assume that bad things happen because people are close to you."

She rubbed her arm and sighed, "It's not hard for me Sagaki-san, and I'm sure that doing things your own way is something that you grew up with. But...there are times that you need help and you can't just simpley rely on yourself. You have to have other people to have your back."

"Look at Satou-sempai's soccer club," she pointed out, "If they didn't have each other, didn't work as a team, do you think they would have won so many games? No, probably not. It's because they're friends with one another and like each other that they're able to coordinatate their efforts and pull out a victory."

She smiled as she followed him around the school, "Sagaki-san, we're like that, we can't just leave out a player just because they think a certain way. We have to try to find a way to work with that. Maybe that's why you think it's so hard for me, but the truth is...it's harder for you, isn't it Sagaki-san."

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ofmanydevices
2009-08-05 06:17 pm UTC (link)

"I have been relying on myself since I was six years old! On top of that, the way I do things doesn't get in the way of me working with the others. I still provide the information I have, I still go with them, there is absolutely nothing that says I need to be friends with everyone else.

And if you really think we should all be friends, you should probably sit down with Satou and Akuba first, or Shirai and Ito."

Tom finally stopped walking and turned toward Misaki.

"You know what? Now that you mention it. You want to prove me wrong about people? You think I should be on the team? You think it's important? Ask Ikeda. Ask Ito, or hey ask Satou, since you brought him up.
Do you think they *want* me around? Do you think they, for a second care about what happens to me? Or do they tolerate me because of how useful I ae, or because I have a persona.

You're wrong about the world Aoi. You're the one with a skewered perception. You care, but no one else does. You're actually friendly, no one else is. This isn't a volunteer sport, or a game like Satou's soccer team. It's a bunch of people doign what needs to be done, so that it can be over with."

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pinksunbeam
2009-08-05 06:38 pm UTC (link)

Six? He's been on his own since he was six? How is that possible? What sort of life has Sagaki-san been living?

Misaki was shaking and snapped, "You think I have a skewed vision of the world, well your wrong! I try to make friends because at least then I know people care about me. It's not like walking into a house where your mother is never home and your father is always in his office! You just never give them the chance because you act so sure of yourself Sagaki-san."

Misaki rubbed the spot where he had grabbed her, "You're very wrong about them. They would give you the chance if you stop acting like you know everything. This isn't some sort of game we're playing. Things don't always go according to some master plan. Have it over with? You're acting like this is a manga, a...a comic book. But this isn't. People have died here. People that had loved ones, who cared about them."

"Do you know why people are scared of you Sagaki-san? It's because they think you act like a know it all. They think that you think you're so utterly perfect. But you know what...you're not. You're a teenage boy living in a dorm! Even Detective Shirow doesn't act like that and she's a detective. She's got to work with her team to figure things out, if she went off like you did, nothing would be done!"

" It's not about what you can bring or about the personas. We're the only ones that know the truth about that. If we go to the police they're going to think we did it or that we're all insane. They would want you around if you stopped acting so presumptious and start acting like someone who cared about the situation. You say you prepared yourself to stop someone from dying, then start acting like it, and stop acting like the whole world is out to hate you, because it's not! It's only the way you see it Sagaki-san."

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ofmanydevices
2009-08-05 06:56 pm UTC (link)

Tom was shaking, just a bit. He realized that the more he argued with Aoi, the worse the two would get. He worried he might do something he didn't want to, or say something he would regret. Through it, he heard her express some disdain for his methods and attitude. That was good, he latched on to that in the hopes that Aoi would actually believe this was a game to him, that he didn't know the stakes.

He took a breath, and the walls were back up.

"Think whatever you want about me. I'm done talking to you."

He turned away, for, what he believed was the last time, and began walking away.

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pinksunbeam
2009-08-05 07:03 pm UTC (link)

"We're not done yet!" Misaki shouted and followed him. "I know what I saw on the roof Sagaki-san! That wasn't a lie, you didn't fake that reaction. You were really upset by what happened."

"Why are you acting like this? Don't you see, if you show that you actually care, then people will be more understanding of what you're doing, maybe even like you. Or are you afraid that if you cared someone would reject you. Well that scares me too, but I at least try to deal with it."

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ofmanydevices
2009-08-05 07:24 pm UTC (link)

Tom didn't respond, he forced himself not to, and kept walking. Finally he walked around a corner to a window on the first floor. Tom pushed it up, and climbed inside.

In Tom's room Misaki could see lines on the walls leading to various pieces of paper, and a bed. There was also a small white and tan puppy who seemed to greet Tom with a wagging tail.

Before she would be able to spy anything else though, Tom pushed the window shut, and with a click, locked it. Then the blinds dropped.

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