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Tweak says, ""The stupid - it burns!""

kondo kozue | 近藤梢 (anthesphoria) wrote in disappear_rpg,
@ 2010-11-02 15:31:00

Entry tags:

kiriko, kozue

WHO: Kozue and Kiriko.
WHAT: What we do every night, ~~Pinky~~ Kozue!
WHERE: Their room.
WHEN: Some time after the dungeon.
WHY: Because Kozue and Kiriko are actually a pretty good Pinky & the Brain allegory; one is ambitious and a bit evil, one is well-meaning but a doofus.

Kozue was actually fairly predictable when something was on her mind.

She tried to make herself busy, usually in doing things that she'd already taken care of once that day, like touching up her nails or checking her email over and over; she opened and closed the binder where that day's study assignment was housed without really looking at it. (This in and of itself was not unusual at all, since she barely ever studied, but she usually only touched her homework once in an evening, if even that.)

Today she had also been channel surfing for ages; but television had proved to be, once again, a vast wasteland, and Kozue had given over to watching amusing commercials. Finally, she gave a heavy (slightly over-dramatic) sigh and turned to look at Kiriko.

"I want to talk about Paradise for a bit. Do you mind?"

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anthesphoria
2010-11-04 01:36 am UTC (link)

This gave Kozue pause. She was not sure what she had been expecting—speaking in the heat of the moment and without thinking it through—but this, she decided, would have been ranked fairly low if she had made a list.

And saying that she didn't know wasn't fair. She'd started this; she owed it to Kiriko not to simply dump it upon her and wash her hands of it, to say she had no responsibility to help fix it now that she had pointed it out. It was tempting to leave it all to Kiriko. And that itself was part of the problem. It was easy, and it was sometimes enjoyable, to depend on her friend, but...

"Let me try to take care of myself, sometimes."

God, that sounded crazy. To Kozue's pampered desire for safety and pleasure and ease, it sounded insane. "Trust me, I guess, to be able to handle Paradise, or real life, even. I depend on you, there, too. I've always liked depending on you," she added, feeling unkind. It made her leave off her last thought, but that's more like going back to Paradise than checking into a hotel would ever be, and substituted, instead. "But I can't do that forever."

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apathyisboring
2010-11-04 01:54 am UTC (link)

It was hard to take, and Kiriko took it sullenly, with a fair bit of internal denial and quiet resentment at the suggestion. She had not been smothering Kozue. Had she? Did it matter if she thought she had or not? Obviously she had been doing something wrong, though it was hardly fair, in her opinion, that that something was being too dependable.

It was for Kozue's sake that she did her best to cut through the bitterness. It would be good for everyone if she learned to stand on her own, wouldn't it? Wasn't the fact that she hadn't wanted to been what was so confusing about her dungeon? So this was progress. Unhappy progress, though - Kiriko liked to be depended on, and newly devoid of her TV set and earring collection, was still not entirely convinced that she had something to offer Kozue as a friend outside of answers and dependableness.

"I can try," she finally managed, somehow simultaneously glum and passive-aggressive in tone.

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anthesphoria
2010-11-04 05:40 pm UTC (link)

After a moment, Kozue decided to take that as a good sign, despite the way Kiriko had said it. She didn't seem happy about it, granted, but Kozue wasn't even sure she was happy about it, herself. And she'd been asking.

"That's all I'm asking." She tried to make it sound grateful, and kind, but there was only so much kindness she could find in this topic. It frightened her, suddenly, now that she had voiced her thoughts and been granted at least a trial of them; oh god, what am I going to do.

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