InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "SPACEY, WACEY"

Yamada Kai [山田海] (the_nadeshiko) wrote in disappear_rpg,
@ 2010-05-18 17:35:00

Entry tags:

isao, kai

WHO: Kai and Isao.
WHAT: Eating as a cover for Kai/Isao meeting more people.
WHERE: Noodle Alley.
WHEN: Some afternoon after school.
WHY: "So I herd you promised me free food?" "U herd rite." /shot

Noodle Alley was about the same as Kai had remembered it, but it felt like an eternity had passed between now and when he'd last come here. Back in middle school, he'd never come in alone - it was always trailing after Masaya, eager to dive into their usual favorite shop and talk about the day and their plans to hang out that weekend.

In a short span of time, everything had changed, and he felt like a stranger standing alone in front of his old haunt.

Kai yawned, covering his mouth abesently (the spoils of staying up for the past week working on three costumes for the idol contest), and hoped that Isao would show up soon so he could go inside and sit down. Some hot soup was sure to wake him up.

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the_nadeshiko
2010-05-27 08:32 pm UTC (link)

Kai's eyes widened at Isao's explanation of his parent's careers. That was... "Cool! That is so wild! Acrobats, really? In Belgium?" This was the first thing that had genuinely excited him the entire conversation; acrobats were novel and interesting, and Kai was unabashedly caught up in his own enthusiasm. "Why are you here? Do you know how to do stuff like that? Did you used to be in the shows, too?"

Oh. Isao's reaction was neither the passionate idealism or bitter tirade that he'd expected from someone who'd been on the team longer than him, and Kai didn't know how to react to it immediately. He nodded while he waited for the words to come. "That makes sense. It's...not really a normal situation. To be honest, it's amusing, but..." He trailed off, unsure of whether he should risk saying it out loud. He played with his chopsticks, sliding them in and out of the paper wrapper. "I'm just not sure what to think of it anymore." That seemed like the safest thing to say, even though it wasn't true.

"But doesn't the fact that it's really serious mean anything to you?" He was being vague as well, thinking that saying "people could die" just might not be a wise thing to say in a crowded restaurant if he wanted to be discreet. He wondered what was inspiring Isao's seeming neutrality in all of this, and intended to find out.

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whenitsleeps
2010-06-14 04:24 am UTC (link)

"Yeah. Up until they decided that I should go here," he nodded, wondering if he should expand on that topic. There were plenty of other elements to that story that he didn't really care to go into. He had tried to keep up with his acrobatics even after they had dumped him off at Nanakamado, but... Well, he didn't have the energy for that any more. He could still juggle well though.

But should the seriousness mean anything to him? Isao glanced up at Kai, wondering how he should put it. He meant what he said. It wasn't his responsibility and he didn't like using those things. What more was there to say over what he thought about the place? It was serious he supposed. But if worse came to worse, that wasn't his responsibility. He tilted his head and looked up at the ceiling, searching for the right words. He only perked up a bit, giving the man behind the counter a nod of thanks, when he was handed his bowl of ramen. Steamy, hot, and smelled of salt. Perfect. A great momentary interruption to give him time to think.

"Like I said, it's not my problem," he finally said bluntly, digging his chopsticks into the bowl already. "We're just high schoolers. Not magic problem solvers." Okay, well, maybe they could've qualified as magic. "We can only do what we can do. I don't think it should be worried about more than that. Things happen and we can't always control how they turn out. That's just life."

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the_nadeshiko
2010-06-23 02:30 pm UTC (link)

Kai took the bowl of ramen with a similar nod, and tucked into it as a temporary distraction while he wondered how to respond to Isao. Mmm...miso.

"I just think that attitude can be dangerous, is all. Knowing that other people -" and just in time, he remembered to drop his voice to avoid being overheard - "- that other people could live or die depending on my actions is making me nervous." To say the least. "To not care would be murder."

"What if our best isn't enough?" he said quietly to his soup. The way he was avoiding looking at anyone suggested that it had been on his mind for some time. "What will we do if the worst happens and we're the ones responsible?"

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whenitsleeps
2010-06-25 09:32 am UTC (link)

"Then I guess it's all our fault and we failed everyone forever. We'll live the rest of our lives in shame if we aren't stoned to death by the masses first," he explained flatly before slurping up more of his ramen. "If that's the sort of thing you're expecting me to say, then that's pretty stupid. I'd say guilt tripping over something you can't control is more dangerous than my attitude."

Isao glanced over silently for a moment, but didn't really have anything more to say on the matter. Kai was apparently very serious based on his expression and that didn't really settle well with him. It was so pointless to worry so much about it. He was already thinking about his participation in that world more than he would have liked to, he didn't need to be told that he was potentially damning people for not wanting to hate himself if something went wrong. "Our best will have to be enough, because what else can we do? It's not our fault if the worst does happen. We're not the ones trying to... well, you know. We're not the bad guys, and our best not being enough isn't going to make us the bad guys. We're not the ones responsible regardless of what happens."

This was the same logic that he was comforting himself with and it just made sense to him. If there were some other creeps running around trying to kill people, why would he be at fault? Ever? He didn't start it and he was just there to help. Nothing made him responsible for what happened in that place. Was there anything better to say though?

"I mean, if something happened to me, I wouldn't blame you guys even if it was because of a mistake you made. At least you tried." Okay, well, that may not have been the most comforting thing either. It was the best attempt he had to offer.

Isao frowned to himself and tilted his bowl over to Kai. "Want to try some?"

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the_nadeshiko
2010-06-27 11:08 pm UTC (link)

Kai, sensing that this argument would only go nowhere and end in resentments if pushed, just shook his head and stayed quiet. "I...guess so," he said, his default statement when he just wanted an argument to end.

Ramen was a much better subject of discussion. "Yeah, thanks," he said, taking a taste. He didn't particularly like shio, but he figured it would do well to at least accept Isao's peace offering.

"Um, want some of mine?" he said hesitantly, offering his own bowl to Isao.

He drummed his fingers on the counter top, feeling spectacularly awkward and shrill now that his deepest worries had just been brushed off.

"...You never answered my question about the circus."

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