Harmonia: Goddess of Harmony, Balance and Concord (ophios_harmonia) wrote in deities_dot_com, @ 2012-09-29 12:07:00 |
|
|||
Entry tags: | ~ares, ~harmonia |
Daddy's Little Girl?? [tag: Ares]
If Harmonia thought seeing her mother had been a difficult and daunting task, it was nothing compared to what she was doing now. There was hurt here, and perceived betrayal. She had never really hated her mother or anything like that, but Balance wasn't exactly super close with her either. Aphrodite was her mother and Aphrodite would do as Aphrodite would do. Besides, it always seemed like Love loved Eros best, anyway. Even so, seeing her mother had been hard.
Hard enough that she was putting off reunions with any other family members until she could deal with the hurt, bit by bit, and move past it. Sure, most of it was Hephaestus' fault with the stupid necklace that was again in her pocket, but there were underlying abandonment and neglect issues too. Meeting the Norseman had been a nice distraction from doing what she had to do, even if talking to him had reminded her of the pain she was trying to work through. Philotes bringing her to meet Idun had done a lot to put a band-aid on some serious emotional hurt.
And Idun was so wonderful. Harmonia would bake both she and Lottie some cookies for just being the wonderful goddesses they were... if she knew how to use an oven. She should ask Philotes to teach her. Or Idun. Or Hestia. Balance was pretty sure her aunt Hestia knew her way around a modern oven. Maybe she should turn around from the temple she was pacing in front of to the point where she was sure she was wearing down the earth beneath her feet and go stop at Hestia's for tea and cakes and a cooking lesson.
Yes, that's what she was going to do. Because that was going to be easier than facing any possible hurt or disappointment that might happen as soon as she knocked and the temple door opened. There was no way around it. Harmonia was going to cry. No matter how hard she tried to fight it, no matter how much she know he wouldn't like it, Harmonia was going to cry. There was no way she couldn't. She knew what was going to happen. She was going to knock, he would answer, she would look at him for the first time in thousands of years and say, “Daddy, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that I was weak and made you ashamed of me. I'm sorry I ran away.” Then she would cry.
At least that was how she thought it would play out. It wouldn't matter if he would tell her wasn't ashamed of her or if he would shut the door in her face. She would cry regardless.
Ares was the world to her. He was the sun, the moon and the stars. As a child she lived to make him proud and not seeing him at all after her doomed marriage happened, Harmonia was certain she had grown up into something he wasn't proud of. And that destroyed her in some ways. He might as well have tore her heart out of her chest, run a spear through it and then put it through a meat grinder for how she felt when she perceived he had abandoned her. Actually, pulling her heart out, stabbing it with a spear and grinding up the remains would probably hurt less.
She tried to bite back her tears already, but it stung so much. So she stepped forward at the temple of War, the only Greek War that truly counted in her book -Enyo and Athena be damned, raised her fist and knocked three times while biting her lip.
Then... she waited.