Hypnos, god of sleep and zzzzzzzzzzzzz.... (somnius) wrote in deities_dot_com, @ 2012-07-08 00:19:00 |
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Entry tags: | ~hypnos, ~thanatos |
Sleep Number (WIDE open!)
Hypnos wiggled slightly, trying to find the sweet spot. Every mattress had one. At least, every mattress that he'd ever tried before this had one. Except the memory foam mattresses which were just one entire bed-sized sweet spot. Hyp loved memory foam. This new mattress though? He wasn't so in love with.
“I don't know,” he said to the salesman that was hovering nearby, his tones lazy and his words all but drawled. “I'm not sure this is the right number either.”
Joe, at least that's what his name tag proclaimed his moniker to be, did his best not to roll his eyes, though Hypnos could tell he wanted to. He'd had enough rolled at him that he recognized the signs. But really, wasn't it a salesman's job to sell the product? Hypnos was definitely not sold. And for him to not be sold on something he could sleep on was a very bad sign for the product.
“Well, let's just adjust it then,” Joe said pleasantly, though there was a small pause before he added under his breath, “again.”
Hypnos couldn't really recall right in that moment what had lured him into a mall, a mortal mall, of all places. Generally he avoided them like the plague. They were noisy, full of too many people, rushing about doing too many things, and worst of all, there were coffee shops. He hated coffee shops. They were horrible things, filled with nothing but concoctions designed to keep people awake. He very suddenly decided that every single coffee shop in this mall today was going to have problems with workers that were too tired to do their jobs properly. And as soon as he remembered why he'd come here in the first place, he was going to do that very thing, and then leave.
After he was finished looking at these beds that proclaimed they could be tailored to each person's individual desire for firmness or softness. Simply by changing how much air was in them. They were giant air mattresses. Hypnos hadn't heard of such a silly thing since waterbeds were all the rage. He'd not particularly liked those either. They made him sea sick half the time. This one just didn't seem comfortable. No matter what number Joe dialed in.
Hypnos had been strolling down the mall, going to...
What had he been here to do? That was growing irritating.
In any case, he had been strolling along and there it was: an entire store font with mattresses, with a large sign inviting people to come in and try them out. Hypnos did not think that mattress stores were common in malls, though he hardly visited them often enough to know for sure, but because he felt it was so, he was tickled to find one in this particular mall. And to be given permission to lay on the mattresses? Wonderful! Most mattress stores became impatient with him by the time he tried out the seventh or eighth bed, but this one was telling him to do just that.
Except he'd only been allowed to lay on this one mattress. Joe insisted it was like a million mattresses in one. If that were true, Hypnos had bad news for the man: they were all bad. He listened to the slight hiss as the bed deflated a bit beneath him, which was just another thing he disliked about the contraption. Joe looked at him expectantly, a hint of desperation behind his eyes.
“I don't like this one either,” Hypnos told him. “Are you sure you're doing it right?”