| Down in a hole (Narrative) |
[16 Feb 2011|02:20pm] |
She was not in Irkalla. She was not on the mortal plane. She was in the one place where nobody could touch her. Find her. See her.
Nobody, of course, but the one she had found in the Greek pantheon. But he, too, was gone. He that could have discovered her was not where he should have been, by his wife's side.
Reshi was unsure how she felt about things. She had destroyed so much with one simple move. Selfishly. Somehow, she still did not regret harming Nergal. But she did regret the harm that had been brought upon others. Beautiful Nyx. Her only beloved son. The scattered peripheries that would still be dealing with the fallout long after those in the center. Who were those unfortunates? She didn't know. She had no idea if she would ever know. Or if they would ever know who had truly caused their pain. She only knew that they were out there.
What she would have given for her brother right now. Where was Enki? Why had he not come for her long before this? Did he not care? Was he in trouble? Did he somehow not know? But how could Enki, of all people, not Know? They were twins. They were close.
The Darkness swirled around Ereshkigal, a living thing. Moving as it's own mind dictated. She let it do as it wished. She had no desire to control anything at the moment. Not even her own life. There were times when she wanted to be away from the Underworld and be Above, where she could meet new people and see new things. Those times were rare indeed, but they happened. That was what had brought her Above this time. And what a mess she had created. Now she didn't want to go back. She didn't want to be at all.
Never in her long life had she ever felt like this.
Her regret was meaningless. She had done too much damage to those she loved. And of course, there was Nergal. What his decision had been confused her. To be his wife forever. When had she ever expected differently? And that her only punishment? From him, of all people, it was unexpected. She didn't know what to do with it. There should have been something more. Something substantial. This coupled with things that he had said to her, confused her, Reshi didn't have any idea where her own mind was on the matter. She had always known that he loved her. That much was clear. But she just hadn't been able to return it. Was she wrong? Had she been foolish to not forgive him for his actions? She no longer knew.
There was nobody to call out to. Nobody to comfort her. Which she knew she had brought upon herself. It didn't help the sting of it, however. The pain. To be so utterly alone. No Enki, no Kur, no Namtar, nothing. Not even a solace in her own home. She had no refuge. Before she'd left, she'd closed up Irkalla tight. Only the dead could pass through there. She didn't want anybody within her home. Anybody. This would impede some jobs, she knew, but they would either have to wait, or they would have to be done in another way. If she couldn't go there, nobody could.
How could she be simultaneously glad for the solitude of the Darkness, and hate it so much?
Reshi let out a scream that, while normally could have been heard in every corner of creation, only stretched out through the Dark.
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