Dear Roommates,

I love you both, but I will kill you if i can't sleep tonight. And also, I'd appreciate it if you'd stop with the obsessing over your respective crushes. It's really frustrating for me to have to listen to every detail of your conversations with them and quite frankly, I'm over it.

Don't mean to be a bitch, but I've got other things to worry about than whether the fact he used the word "hey" instead of "hello" means he likes you or not. (okay that was an exaggeration, but really, not by all that much.)

Trying to hear myself think,
Me