( I still love you. How..? )

Current Mood: depressed

Dear Me ..
Why is it that you get attached too quickly and end up getting hurt? What is it you are looking for? .. there are soo many questions fluttering around in my head, that I dont think will every be answered ..

Why is it evertime you have a good time w/ someone you start thinking about all the bad.. all the things that could go wrong, and all the little things he could do... why is it that you find a guy that is soo perfect for you, and when they amit that they have feelings for you, that you start too notice all the little imprefections.. even if they arent there ..

Why do the words "I love you" scare you soo much to the point where you want too cry...

Why is it that you want Zac back more then anything, why do you even want to go down that road again.. when you know he is just going to hurt you again .. But yet in your head you make yourself believe that it is all your fault, all the silly fights were all brought on by you, that the reason he is gone is all because of YOU!! If you would have only talked to a few less boys ...

Why is it that after having an awsome time w/ Jason on friday that you want too push him away, so that you dont get attached .. why does the fact that you might get attached scare you soo much .. if it because he is going to college and you know better? Or is it that there is a chance he might accually like you and care about you? ..

Soo many questions, but no answers... I only wish that someday its all going to make sence and all the pieces are going to finially fit in to make the perfect puzzel ..