sobbinginsleep (sobbinginsleep) wrote in dear_you, @ 2004-06-29 02:07:00 |
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Current music: | Wonderwall(Oasis) and Epiphany(Staind) |
Dear Zach
I'm glad you decided to talk to me more like you said you would. Oh, wait, wait. no, in fact, you did the exact opposite, you've been talking to me even less. Now, I can deal with it, it just seems liek sometimes, you're the only one that matters in this all. I don't have Andy anymore to tell me what a horrible person I am, Jeff is always going to be there making feel guilty about everything I do, but to exude the essence of comfort. And you're gone now. You tell me nothing. I can live with it, it's just that it feels...not good all the time. I mean, you're really the first one I told and now to have you gone in the middle of this personality loss...well it's not feeling good. It just makes it worse. I think you were right when you said I was bascially you're sister. I think you were right with that idea, which means that we could come back to each other and act like no time has passed and still care about each other no matter what, right? I mean, I know that's what it means, but is it true? You really haven't ever left me, have you? Well I still feel abandoned. And I don't like it. I wish it wouldn't seem as if you've forgotten me. I'm so imperfect that you're the only person to care about me. If you're going to leave me, tell me.
I'm listening to Wonderwall right now.
You're the only light in this dark. You'll probably be the only person I think about when I leave this place. I mean genuinely think about. I miss you. And even though I don't doubt, anymore, that you do care about me. I hate the fact that you probably don't miss me. just once, I wish you'd miss me.
I think I want to still know you in the 10 years. In fact I hope, somehow, we'll remain close friends, maybe. But I'm sure it'll be one of many lost hopes. Goodnight.
~ED