LJ-SEC: (ORIGINALLY POSTED BY juno_domina)

I thought this letter to the Editor in "The Age" (Melbourne) might appeal:

Short and sweet

HERE is an even shorter version of the Bible than that condensed by John Crace ("The 378-word Bible, Opinion 26/9):

After Adam and Eve failed the temptation test, God made Jews his chosen people. As a result, they became paranoid overachievers until Jesus came in to provide non-competitive, huge-gain-for-little-pain equal opportunity for all. Whether being superior was better than just being good posed a problem at polls throughout the ages. After much soul-searching, leaders seeking re-election reached a brilliant compromise. They simply wed Superiority by Birthright to Equal Opportunity. This auspicious marriage led to the modern practice of pre-emptive strikes in the name of both the Father and the Son forever and ever. Amen.
Piri White, Brighton

I wish I had the John Crace one.