The Crow Syndrome - Day

9:48AM - Gandalf's Gift - Being Returned for Store Credit

Well, here's a fun little spork I did way back on Deleterius.  Enjoy....

Story Or Series Title: Gandalf's Gift to Middle Earth
Fandom: Ring? What ring?
Culprit Author's Name: Roseville

Full Name (plus titles if any): Gwendolyn Grey Peters
Full Species(es):  Fillis Gandalfus (is that right?)
Hair Color (include adjectives):  honey-blonde
Eye Color (include adjectives):  bright blue
Unusual Markings/Colorations: Give it time
Special Possessions (if any):  Seems to live in Gandalf's purse.

Annoying Origin:  Mama bamfed into ME
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Claims Maia DNA
Annoying Special Abilities:  very very very powerful witch
Other Annoying Traits:  Mixing up potions in the coffee maker

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story: 

 

The preceeding is a satirical review. It quotes from original fanfiction in order to make with the mockery. I do not own this fanfiction, I did not write it, and I make no claim to have done so. Indeed, I strongly insist otherwise. If you claim that I wrote this fanfic, I will, in fact, sue you for slander.

12:58PM - ELDRAVINE, QUEEN OF MORDOR

Cross-posted from my Insane Journal and Deleterius. The first installment in a long, sorry saga of Sueness.

Story Or Series Title: Burdens (of Destiny) No, I don’t know what the brackets are for.
Fandom: Lord of the Mad Scientists.
Culprit Author's Name: Khaydarin9
Full Name (plus titles if any): Eldravine. Fade. The Queen of Mordor. = INSTANT SUENESS!
Full Species(es): All of them. No, really, ALL of them.
Hair Color (include adjectives): Dark.
Eye Color (include adjectives): Dark.
Unusual Markings/Colorations: In this case looking like a beautiful woman definitely counts.
Special Possessions (if any): A jewelled sword. A wavy bladed dagger. Black leather clothes.
Annoying Origin: Sauron mixed her up in a blender.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: One of her “mothers” was Celebrían. She’s in love with Aragorn. Tenth Walker. Tenth Rider. Yes, really, BOTH. Led the Nazgûl into battle.
Annoying Special Abilities: 133t fighting skillz. Immortal. Immune to conventional weapons.
Other Annoying Traits: Has a split personality. Will probably turn out to have the usual deep connection to the Ring. Has legends about her. Weeps “poisonous green tears”. Yes, the Sue is LITERALLY poisonous.
Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:
( Attn: fantasy writers! Never forget to kick-off your novel with an incredibly confusing prologue. )