topazlily (topazlily) wrote in crow_syndrome, @ 2007-09-14 12:58:00 |
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Current location: | The Dark Tower |
Current mood: | amused |
ELDRAVINE, QUEEN OF MORDOR
Cross-posted from my Insane Journal and Deleterius. The first installment in a long, sorry saga of Sueness.
Story Or Series Title: Burdens (of Destiny) No, I don’t know what the brackets are for.
Fandom: Lord of the Mad Scientists.
Culprit Author's Name: Khaydarin9
Full Name (plus titles if any): Eldravine. Fade. The Queen of Mordor. = INSTANT SUENESS!
Full Species(es): All of them. No, really, ALL of them.
Hair Color (include adjectives): Dark.
Eye Color (include adjectives): Dark.
Unusual Markings/Colorations: In this case looking like a beautiful woman definitely counts.
Special Possessions (if any): A jewelled sword. A wavy bladed dagger. Black leather clothes.
Annoying Origin: Sauron mixed her up in a blender.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: One of her “mothers” was Celebrían. She’s in love with Aragorn. Tenth Walker. Tenth Rider. Yes, really, BOTH. Led the Nazgûl into battle.
Annoying Special Abilities: 133t fighting skillz. Immortal. Immune to conventional weapons.
Other Annoying Traits: Has a split personality. Will probably turn out to have the usual deep connection to the Ring. Has legends about her. Weeps “poisonous green tears”. Yes, the Sue is LITERALLY poisonous.
Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:
Burdens
Prologue - Body and Soul (an account from the Book of Maia)
Annatar: The book of which Maia?
Compiler's Note: The Book of Maia in its entirety, though there are records that it once existed, has never been found. Parts of it have been salvaged and now reside throughout Middle Earth - in Laurelindorenan under the protection of the Lady of the Wood, in Gallery of Rivendell and even, I believe, in the great fortress of Isengard studied by Saruman the White. This piece was destroyed in the burning of the Rivertown and this is now the only copy that remains.
Topaz: In spite of having been destroyed.
Indeed, if this was to be lost so would a great part of the Making of the World, of which there is little known.
Annatar: What? I know all about it. I was there!
But time will turn, as it has done so in the past, and these pages will be lost. But the legend of Eldravine must not be forgotten as some things were for the mistakes of the past always come back to haunt us.
Annatar: They do indeed.
In the creation of a being, the law of the Maia clearly states that one cannot create a body without a soul which leads to the creation of the Celaeste - the essence that bonds the two together.
Topaz: Your slave is ashamed at her ignorance, my Lord. She thought a celeste was a musical instrument.
Annatar: It may be, slave. It certainly isn’t a soul-binding essence. Ask any necromancer.
The Celaeste must not be broken under any circumstances lest the lost spirits upset the balance of the World.
Annatar: Really. There are plenty of lost spirits wandering around and the world was still here last time I checked.
The soul itself is not created but called upon from those departed.
Annatar: Now it’s talking about Elvish reincarnation. I think.
As the World is young, so shall be life.
Should another soul be called upon to inhabit the body of another, the maiden spirit shall not be crushed, nor destroyed; it's existance shall remain but it shall be passive until the other no longer has the power to maintain control. Yet the two spirits will never be truly seperate - not until the creator of one of them no longer lives.
Annatar: Since Ilúvatar created both of them, that’s a completely pointless sentence.
But the Maia are eternal
Annatar: Maia... are...? Someone’s grammar leaves much to be desired.
and they created all that Is;
Annatar: With just a little help from the Valar.
no soul shall die while they remain. A soul is always under the control of the one who created it - the Maia chose to let their people have free will. But other godly beings may not chose to do so.
Annatar: I’m utterly confused now. You attend to this, slave. I have more important things to do.
Topaz: As my Lord wishes.
Spirits are only spirit-like in what they do.
Topaz: Frogs are only frog-like in what they do... Ants are only ant-like in what they do... I guess that makes sense.
Without a body they are beings of nothingness and though a form allows them to move about the World, it means little to them. For souls are other-Worldly creatures and a body is but an anchor, linking the spirit to the real World.
What we see in the eyes of another is the closest an earthly creature has come to seeing a spirit.
Topaz: Unless, of course, it’s seen a spirit...
Burdens
Written by Khaydarin9
Author's Note: AWOTP is too hard to remember so I'm changing it to AU.
Topaz: Information request: What the Udûn is AWOTP?
The Compiler's Note bit was just to get a better grip on the High Fantasy mood which is for the Book of Maia –
Topaz (as the Suethor): “All fantasy stories have to have an incomprehensible prologue with little or no connection to the plot, right?”
by the way, in case you were wondering, there is no Book of Maia as far as I know. (That was what the Compiler's Note was saying, only it was using the roundabout way). It is just a literacy device.
Topaz: Device not working.
If this story ever gets famous, I might actually write it - but not just yet.
In this fic, *** is used to show that the point of view has changed place - but not necessarily time. If time has passed but the story is still with the same characters then a new paragraph will be used.
Also, this is not a Legolas romance story.
Topaz: Aragorn’s in for it, then.
Orlando Bloom needs a new haircut wig.
Peace.
Annatar: Any further developments, slave?
Topaz: My Lord, the action is finally beginning. Enter the Sue. She has a very individual way of saying hello. *under her breath* Totally not ripped off Movie-Arwen or anything:
Suddenly, there was a very audible rustle and a cloaked figure sprang out of the shadows, grabbing Legolas by the shoulders and shoving a dagger against his pale neck. Even in the darkness, Aragorn could make out that the knife had a wavy blade and he had no doubt that it was very sharp.
Topaz: He was, by now, used to Sues and their super-weapons.
Cursing himself for his inattentiveness, he raised his hands slowly, letting Anduril slip from his fingers.
'Oh, pick up your sword,' a distinctly feminine voice said. 'I think you're losing your touch.' The cloaked figure released Legolas, who immediately drew his bow and aimed it directly at her.
'I didn't hurt you, Elf-prince,' the voice continued. 'So why don't you put that bow away? I doubt you could hurt me with it anyway, even from one pace away like you are now.'
Legolas cast a dubious glance at Aragorn, who was frowning. 'Do you know this woman?' he asked.
'She is not a woman,' Aragorn replied. 'She is not elf, dwarf, hobbit, orc, nor mortal man.'
Annatar: Wait a moment. I think I recognize this Sue.
'So you have not forgotten me, Aragorn, son of Arathorn,' she said.
'And that is more than I can expect from one as long-lived as you.'
'How could I forget you?' it was more a mutter than an actual statement.
Legolas stared at his friend in surprise.
'What are you?' the Elf demanded. 'What do you call yourself?'
'A trifle demanding from one I could easily have killed,' she said quietly. 'But I do not kill allies - not when there are so few of them.'
Topaz (as Mary Sue): “When there are more of them I kill them like flies.”
'Then you do not work for Sauron, nor Saruman?'
'Not now, Legolas of Mirkwood. I did before and I may again but at this current place and time, I work for the ones against him.'
'What do you mean?'
Topaz (as Mary Sue): “You must be Legolas. I’ll speak ve... ry slow... ly...”
She sighed. 'It is a horrible thing to be created by one so evil, young Legolas, more so to be a slave of the one who created you. I was born under the hand of Sauron, a hybrid of many creatures.
Annatar: Ah, yes! This is indeed my prototype. I created her from the remains of Mary Sues who had the ill-luck to annoy me. Now let’s see how my enemies deal with the One Sue To Rule Them All.
He was convinced that I was perfect.
Topaz: Is she, my Lord?
Annatar: No, but I have hopes for the Mark II version.
A mindless warrior, I led the Black Riders into battle many times and I myself killed many brave men of Westernesse.
Annatar: She didn’t, of course. I have endowed my Sue with the typical delusions of her kind.
Topaz: But my Lord, how does the Witch King of Angmar feel about this?
Annatar: The slaves of the Nine Rings have no business having feelings or objecting to anything their master does. *raises voice* You hear that, Witch King? Stop sulking immediately!
'But the moment Isildur cut the ring from my master's hand, I was free. Sauron, defeated though not destroyed, withdrew to the heart of Mordor to regain his strength. Since then, I have being enjoying the pleasure of free life, that many live and die through. But the Dark Lord's power is growing and I fear that my free time grows short. I would rather die than return to his service.
Topaz: It doesn’t seem to have taken the Sue long to turn against your Lordship!
Annatar: No, no, slave, this is all part of her programming. She has to be convincing. Note that she was even permitted to refer to me as “evil”, when I am clearly just misunderstood.
'As for my name, I am called Fade.'
'And why are you here, Fade?' Aragorn said, suddenly emerging from deep, silent thought.
'I thought I already said that. I am here to help the ones who challenge Mordor and its minions. The Bearer of the Ring is in great danger and he will need all the aid he can get. In more ways than one.'
Topaz: Surely, my Lord, they will never trust the Sue now?
Annatar: *smug* Oh, yes, they will. Watch and learn, slave.
'Though I do not doubt Frodo's strength and capabilities,' Aragorn agreed. 'His mind grows weary and the Ring grows heavy on both chain and thought. Can you help him?'
Annatar: Observe, slave, how my Sue’s power to warp minds and destroy common sense compensates for her stupidity in telling them of her origin.
'That is one of the reasons why I came, Aragorn,' Fade replied.
Annatar (as Mary Sue): “After all, the Ring won’t be a burden to him once I’ve returned it to its rightful owner, will it?”
Topaz: Your Lordship is convinced that the Sue will achieve this?
Annatar: If not this particular Sue, then one of the later models. I believe this may be my most brilliant idea to date. What can possibly go wrong?
Let us skip to the obligatory dramatic unveiling of the Sue.
Topaz: My Lord, your slave is apprehensive. She fears that a being composed of so many different species will be a sickeningly hideous monster.
Annatar: Two words, slave: Mary Sue.
The hood of her cloak fell around her shoulders, exposing for the first time the face of the creature Fade. Her features were human - she had long, dark hair and deep, wandering eyes that gleamed in the rosy firelight. Her face was long, even lean and her skin was pale, like of one not accustomed to sunlight. Her clothes were made of soft black leather,
Annatar: Note her classically Sue-ian fashion sense.
most unlike the many layers that Aragorn wore when travelling. Her figure was long and thin. Beneath her cloak, Aragorn saw the gleam of a jewelled sword and the wavy-bladed dagger with which she had threatened Legolas.
'Your beauty is quite astounding,' the Elf said, furrowing his eyebrows.
Topaz: To say the least.
'Had I not known, I would have dismissed you as one of the mortals. Surely you have human blood in you.'
'Indeed,' she replied, sitting down with her back against a tree. 'I was born from the blood of many different races
Annatar: That is, Sues of many different races.
- I could name all of my sires if you were willing to listen.'
Aragorn tossed another stick onto the fire and seemed unperturbed, but the look on Legolas' face portrayed a rare interest.
Topaz: It was highly unusual for Legolas to notice what went on around him.
She sighed.
'Celebrian the Elf was one - a name that will probably greatly interest both of you.'
Aragorn's grey eyes flashed. 'Celebrian? Daughter of Galadriel of Lothlorien?'
'Of course. You may have been told that she was taken by the Orcs during the dark times ...'
Annatar: No doubt, slave, you have heard of the infamous Celebrían-Sue?
'Then you are of kin to Arwen Evenstar?' Aragorn demanded.
'By blood only.
Topaz: So you’re not married to her, Mary Sue? Thanks for clearing that up.
It is enough, though, to give me the immortality that has let me live to see this day.'
'This is astounding news,' Legolas said thoughtfully.
Topaz: Legolas made the most of his limited vocabulary.
'I am flattered you think so,' she murmured, gazing sullenly at the fire. 'Of human blood, I was given Lildria the Blue; the sixth sorceress of the wizard's order.'
Annatar: Those Sixth Istar-Sues are so much fun to torture. Almost like having the real thing at one’s mercy.
Topaz: “Human blood”, my Lord?
Annatar: Ah... yes... Well, there’s always some minor glitch in a prototype.
'And who else?'
'The rest come from races long forgotten - for I am as old as Elrond, lord of Rivendell and I saw the fall of Sauron and the betrayal of Isildur.'
Topaz: Enter Gandalf, who recognizes the Sue.
'You should have known better, Eldravine,' Gandalf replied.
She flinched as if he had brandished a whip in her face.
Topaz: Not that she minded whips...
'Do not call me that!' she said, sounding alarmed. 'It was given to me by the Dark Lord and I have no wish to keep it while I am free.'
'But it is your true name.'
'Yet it means Hybrid of Darkness in the language of Mordor,' she said and her eyes were cold.
Annatar: It does not! My Sue was meant to be fluent in every language ever. The field test is revealing some unexpected flaws.
Topaz: My Lord, nothing much happens for a while, so I’ll skip to the next morning.
It wasn't hard for Legolas to track down his quarry.
Topaz: Uh... that’s kind of creepy...
Her step was light and she left few tracks but his sharp eyes read these well enough. He needed to talk with her and he sensed last night that she knew more about him than he wished. The sound of falling water met his ears and he saw that a small-scale waterfall was just ahead. The tracks lead in that direction. As he moved closer, he noticed that several black leather garments had been strewn on the ground near the pool. He stopped.
'Fade?' he called. 'Are you here?'
'Go away, Elf Prince!' Her reply came back to him, ringing clearly against the sound of the water. 'You are not wanted here.'
Topaz: Snip! Stalker!Legolas bleats about needing to talk to her.
'I'm afraid that doesn't change anything. I am bathing so you must leave. If you don't, you will find my dagger against your fair neck once more. I have few secrets but I will protect them.'
Topaz: What deformities is the Sue concealing, my Lord? Scales? Fur? Leaves?
Annatar: None at all. She’s supposed to have the form of an attractive human female. Well, apart from the green bodily fluids, anyway.
It was as he feared. He shut his eyes tightly and spun around. 'Will you listen to me, please? You probably know about it already and it will be a simple matter-'
'I really do not care,' she said but there was the sound of someone climbing out of the water. 'But if I must, I will listen to you - if you let me bathe in peace.'
He smiled slightly and began to turn around but stopped as he felt steel against his neck. 'Do not turn around, Elf Prince. Your life is at stake here.'
Topaz: The Sue seems very fond of holding people at knife’s point, my Lord. Might it not cause them to become just a trifle suspicious?
Annatar: She’s not meant to be doing that, slave. This is disturbing. It’s almost as if she’s developing a mind of her own.
Topaz: Back at the camp, Aragorn asks where Legolas is.
'He has gone in search of Eldravine.' Gandalf spoke quietly but the Fellowship jumped. The wizard had quite a way of disappearing into the scene when he wanted to.
'Do not call her that!' Aragorn said, his eyes suddenly alarmed. 'Eldravine is the Queen of Mordor - Fade is a lonely traveller who wishes for nothing more than freedom. They are not the same, Gandalf.'
Annatar: *stunned* Queen. Of. Mordor. She told them she was THE QUEEN OF MORDOR? *headpalantír* What have I done?
The old man shrugged. 'Maybe to you - but my order have studied the records of the Last Alliance for many years and I know what terror Eldravine caused.'
'Fade will help us if she possibly can,' argued Aragorn. 'She will not aid Sauron if she can help it.'
Annatar: She will if she knows what’s good for her!
'Yet she will be under his control the moment he regains enough strength. Then whose side will she be on?'
The Ranger was silent. 'Well,' he said. 'For what it's worth, I think we can trust her.'
'I suppose she will be some help,' Gandalf admitted. 'After all, she knows the tunnels of Mordor as well as Sauron himself.'
Annatar: Much good may it do her. What are these fools trying to do, assassinate me? *laughs* Next you’ll be telling me they’re planning to destroy the Ring!
'What kind of witch is this woman?' Boromir interrupted. 'No one has been inside Mordor and come out alive except its minions.'
Gandalf sighed. 'That's because she was one of them,' he said. The Ranger's eyes blazed. 'They have a right to know the truth, Aragorn,' Gandalf said gently. 'Secrets Sue-fic will only destroy us all.'
'This is blasphemy!' roared Boromir. 'No servant of Sauron can join us in our quest!'
Annatar: The son of Denethor always has a terribly high Sue-resistance.
'Calm down, Boromir,' Aragorn said urgently. 'She was once under the control of Sauron but she is no longer - not while he is passive. She does not want to be his slave again - that is why she will help us in any way she can.'
'Will you be responsible for her?' Gandalf offered.
Aragorn took a deep breath. 'If I must, yes.'
'Looks like this Fade woman has corrupted Aragorn already, Mister Frodo, sir,' Sam whispered to his master.
Annatar: They’re ALL onto her now! This Sue is a complete failure.
*** <–– threesome. See below.
'How long have you known Aragorn?' Legolas asked hesitantly, sitting on a rotting log by the waterfall. Fade was busy fitting her sword back into its sheath.
Topaz: Her dagger hadn’t been enough to keep Voyeur!Legolas away.
'Many years,' she replied. 'I have travelled Middle Earth several times over and I enjoyed the company of the Rangers of the North.'
Topaz (as Mary Sue): “They were into leather too.”
The Elf was silent for almost a minute. 'You know Arwen?' he began, but then corrected himself. 'A foolish question, especially for one so long lived. Of course you know Lady Arwen - you were sprung from Celebrian, Evenstar's mother.'
Topaz: Because all living beings are personally acquainted with each and every one of their blood relations.
'I do not see where this is going,' she answered, looking up from putting on her leather boots. Legolas looked very troubled indeed, he was staring at the leaf-covered ground, his severed head resting on his hand.
'Arwen ... she is ... perfect,' he hesitated. 'They say that she is like Luthien, reborn. I have seen pictures of Luthien ... they don't look anything alike, yet their beauty is so close.'
Annatar: *headpalantír* I suppose I should be used to the effect of a Sue on the logical capacities of those around her.
He looked up, his heart in his azure eyes once more. 'I don't know how to say this ... but ...I love Arwen.'
Fade inhaled sharply.
'We spoke in Rivendell, anon.
Annatar: *stares* What? She just said, “We spoke in Rivendell in the future”. What is the matter with this Sue?
But Aragorn loves Arwen as much as I do. I have not the heart to tell him. He has endured so much hardship in his life already.
Topaz (as Legolas): “There was the time he and I were trapped in a cave, and the time we were sold into slavery in Harad, and the time we were prisoners of the Witch King...”
Arwen would not choose between us if her life depended on it. She would not speak to him either - though I asked her to.
Topaz (as Legolas): “They always communicate in Morse code.”
And every passing day, Aragorn is being betrayed and he does not even know this.'
'I suspected this,' Fade replied, heavily, her face sober.
Legolas smiled ever so faintly. 'I had a feeling you did. From what I've seen, you are more aware than any other creature I've met.'
Topaz (as Legolas): “MUCH cleverer than my pet rock!”
'Why did you tell me this?' she demanded, her expression changing from serious to horrified in less than a moment. 'I didn't need to know! Now I will be cursed with the memory of this - as will Sauron, when he regains his strength!
Annatar: *shudders* Yes.
I cannot help you, Elf Prince. I know not of the ways of men or Elves and I know even less of love.'
He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.
Topaz: Easily confused, that Elf.
'Surely you have loved once in your long years?'
She avoided his questioning gaze and looked away. 'I have.'
'Then there is more man and Elf in you then you think. Who, if I may ask, is this fortunate man?'
Her eyes widened. 'Fortunate? You think it is fortunate to be loved by a creature who belongs nowhere? One made from light but forced to live in darkness Mary Sue? Courteous are the tongues of Elves, but you are wrong. Wrong.'
'Who is he?' Legolas persisted.
'He is promised to another,' she answered simply. 'I cannot part them, for they will give up their lives for each other. Indeed, already she has already given up so much for him.'
Legolas' piercing gaze increased tenfold, drilling holes in the Sue, as he realised who she talked of. 'The Lady Arwen!' he cried, leaping from his seat. 'You love Aragorn!'
'Go away, Legolas of Mirkwood.' Her voice was bitter.
'But there is hope for both us!'
Topaz: Hope? For Mary Sue and Pod!Legolas? I really don’t think so.
'I will not seperate Aragorn and Arwen. Their souls are so hopelessly entwined that it would be impossible even to try.'
Topaz: That is giving me some horrible mental images.
'Will you not even speak to him for me?'
She spun around, her dark eyes desperate. He was shocked to find poisonous green tears streaming from them, trickling down her cheeks and down her garments. 'You cannot ask me this.'
'But I have.'
'Please! Do not make this worse!'
Annatar: That, I fear, is entirely out of the question.
'Then you will not talk to Aragorn?' Hope faded as Legolas spoke quietly.
Fade bowed her head. 'Nay, not unless the fate of the world depended on it.'
'So be it then ...' The Elf trailed off.
Annatar: Is there going to be more of this, slave?
Topaz: All too much, my Lord.
Annatar: Will my Sue become more of a menace to me or to my enemies?
Topaz: A close call, my Lord, but judging from preliminary reports, the Sue’s chief victim will be your Lordship.
Annatar: I wish I’d never created her. It seemed like a good idea at the time. *sighs* It’s the story of my life...
Note: I do not own either this story or any characters created by J.R.R. Tolkien.