InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Hey is Shaniqua there?Hell no!"

Christian Grey (50shadesofgrey) wrote in compass_network,
@ 2013-12-11 06:49:00

Entry tags:

!closed, ~anastasia steele

Private to Ana
Ms. Steele, I am aware that I don't have a right to ask this. But I want to take you out for coffee and talk. I am sorry..... ~~I don't deserve this~~ please permit me to do this.

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	Ana/Christian msanasteele 2013-12-11 12:13 pm UTC (link)
	You're right...you don't. But, I accept. I will meet you for coffee. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	Ana/Christian 50shadesofgrey 2013-12-11 12:39 pm UTC (link)
	I want you to know that I am not expecting anything. I know that I don't deserve to be with you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Ana/Christian msanasteele 2013-12-12 12:07 am UTC (link)
	Its okay...I'll meet you at Sookies for coffee lets say tomorrow at 11:30? And Christian...can I be honest about something? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Ana/Christian 50shadesofgrey 2013-12-12 02:11 am UTC (link)
	Sounds acceptable. I will be there. I would expect nothing less, Ms. Steele. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Ana/Christian msanasteele 2013-12-12 03:40 am UTC (link)
	Great. See you then. Its just....its just that. Well, I miss you. You make me miserable with or without you. You've turned my world upside down. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Ana/Christian 50shadesofgrey 2013-12-12 04:13 am UTC (link)
	Yes, I shall see you then. I don't really know what to say to that.... I, I am flattered, for one thing, even though I am used to having that affect on women.... but I don't want to say the wrong thing, either. Also, I am sorry that I make you miserable. I also would have to say the same.... that you've turned my world upside down. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Ana/Christian msanasteele 2013-12-13 04:19 am UTC (link)
	I....I'm sorry, I know that I said too much. I can take it back if you want me to. I know that talking over coffee will be good. But I don't understand what you want. I thought that us being apart would make things better on you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Ana/Christian

50shadesofgrey
2013-12-13 08:09 am UTC (link)

I... you don't have to take it back, Ms. Steele. I can't change the way you feel, and I don't want to. I don't want to hurt you. I don't.... I can't take back what I did, but I don't ever want to do it again. Ms. Steele, I would be lying if I said I didn't feel the same way.... I just don't know that I can be what you need me to be. I don't want to end up hurting you again.

Being apart... it was a good idea in theory, but it was the wrong idea in the end.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Ana/Christian

msanasteele
2013-12-13 11:32 pm UTC (link)

I just want you to be yourself, if you can't see us together, than what's the point in even trying. I don't know what your doing to me but I can't stop thinking about you and even then I know that its too much. Raymond said that in his future we're happy and that we really bond as a family. I just wish that it were true or going to be true.

So what are you trying to say? You don't want to be apart?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Ana/Christian 50shadesofgrey 2013-12-14 04:06 pm UTC (link)
	I am doing my best to be myself, I really am. I don't think that I've ever been anything but... I just don't know how to be in a relationship. I can't even imagine Raymond's future. But that doesn't mean that it's not going to happen. We can't control everything. Which is what I am slowly learning. I.... I don't want to be apart. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Ana/Christian msanasteele 2013-12-14 10:23 pm UTC (link)
	Can't you at least try? I mean yes I know that your into fucking and pleasure in your red room of pain and not really love because you either don't know what love is or you've never been loved yourself. But I will say it as much as you are fucked up I love you Christian. And nothing will ever change that. I can't be apart from you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Ana/Christian 50shadesofgrey 2013-12-15 11:19 am UTC (link)
	I don't know how love works, this is true, but that doesn't mean that I am unwilling to try... I never have been before, but I have never encountered someone as you, Ms. Steele. I want... for the first time in my life I want to try and be what you need me to be. I can't be apart from you, either. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Ana/Christian msanasteele 2013-12-21 05:11 am UTC (link)
	I'm glad that you are wanting to at least try. Really, its not as hard as you think it is. You just haven't believed in yourself to love someone and to be close to you filled with love. I'm so glad to hear you say that too. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Ana/Christian 50shadesofgrey 2013-12-21 01:16 pm UTC (link)
	There is a reason I never have. I am just not sure I want to tell you what it is.... it's hard for me to talk about. I'm glad you are happy. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Ana/Christian msanasteele 2013-12-28 05:42 pm UTC (link)
	I'd be willing to sit and listen to you Christian. I just want us to be able to trust each other with our secrets so that we can grow together. This is what love is all about. With you....I am happy. (Reply to this) (Parent)