InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Foozball's the devil, Bobby!"

Anastasia Steele (msanasteele) wrote in compass_network,
@ 2013-10-19 20:13:00

Entry tags:

sunila montrose, ~anastasia steele

Well, that was certainly an interesting day with Raymond today. I like it when we don't fight all the time.

filtered to Christian
Are you just going to continue to ignore me? I know that you are still in the shocked stage and everything, but Raymond is worried about us. Why don't you come out with us some night....as a family.

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	blue_eyed_force 2013-10-20 01:13 pm UTC (link)
	I don't think anybody likes fighting all the time. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	msanasteele 2013-10-20 07:21 pm UTC (link)
	No they don't. And my son doesn't deserve this. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	blue_eyed_force 2013-10-20 09:09 pm UTC (link)
	I think I know your son. He's nice. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	msanasteele 2013-10-20 09:34 pm UTC (link)
	He really is a nice boy. Are you a friend of his? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	blue_eyed_force 2013-10-20 09:52 pm UTC (link)
	No, I've just talked to him on the network. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	msanasteele 2013-10-21 09:57 pm UTC (link)
	Oh...well, I appreciate you saying that about my son. He is a very nice man. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	Filtered to Ana 50shadesofgrey 2013-10-20 05:26 pm UTC (link)
	I don't know, Anastasia. I am not sure that I can handle things right now. It has not been my intention to ignore you. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	Filtered to Ana msanasteele 2013-10-20 07:22 pm UTC (link)
	You know what, I don't think you'll ever be ready. I'm beginning to think that he's actually right about things. Well, you have and guess what Christian. Just forget it, forget about us, forget about everything. I'm just done waiting. So if your not going to step up and be a man about things, forget about our contract, I'm so over everything. Goodbye Christian. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Filtered to Ana/Christian 50shadesofgrey 2013-10-21 06:09 pm UTC (link)
	Anastasia..... you are a much stronger person than I am. You don't need as much time as I do to adjust to things. If you leave..... I can't promise that I'll be okay on the other side... please don't do this, Ms. Steele. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Filtered to Ana/Christian

msanasteele
2013-10-21 10:00 pm UTC (link)

I was freaked out, but he had nobody to go to, so I just decided to let him in and get to know him. He's the greatest person ever.

I can't go through this rollercoaster of emotions. Christian, I care about you, but we're not in your world anymore. This time I'm going by what my heart is going through. If you can't or don't want this, then I'll find someone that will. Even if that means that Raymond never exists because your being stubborn.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Filtered to Ana/Christian 50shadesofgrey 2013-10-26 01:00 am UTC (link)
	I never said that he wasn't. I never said that I didn't want to know him. You think I can? Anastasia.... I never... I've never had this kind of feeling about anyone... and I don't know what to do. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Filtered to Ana/Christian msanasteele 2013-10-26 07:54 pm UTC (link)
	Well, he's been here for a great while and all you've seem to do is meet him once. I'm just done with the mind tricks on us. Than when you figure it out you know where we are. Until then, lets just consider us not together. I'm not just some toy that you can play around with. Figure yourself out and then maybe we'll talk. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Filtered to Ana/Christian 50shadesofgrey 2013-10-28 03:57 pm UTC (link)
	I am not trying to play mind tricks, Anastasia. I don't even really know how to. It's not in my DNA. I am a very forward person, I never lie about anything. You are not a toy, and I have never seen you that way. Please don't do this. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Filtered to Ana/Christian

msanasteele
2013-10-29 10:13 pm UTC (link)

Right......one minute you are this caring wonderful person. Than the next your just completely turned off, I can't go through this whole mind trick thing.

Oh really? Because I feel like I'm just a play thing to you....no pun intended because of that stupid contract.

Christian, I don't know what you want anymore. I'm emotionally exhausted just wondering what's going on in your head. You don't talk, our son is constantly angry at me because he wants us to be a family and your just......just not here. What do you want from me?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Filtered to Ana/Christian

50shadesofgrey
2013-11-01 04:57 am UTC (link)

I can't be ready for something I'm not, but dammit Ana, I don't want to lose you. I read those infernal books about us.... we work this out.

You're not a plaything... and I told you, that is the only way I know how to be.... it's the only way I've ever had a relationship with a woman.

I will talk to him.... get him to take it out on me and not you. I want you to not do this.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Filtered to Ana/Christian

msanasteele
2013-11-02 12:57 pm UTC (link)

And that is why I'm not going to force you anymore. Have it your way all you want. Yes, I know, but I don't think we'll work out here, we're just too different.

Yes, I know. So now you'll be able to go about your business and find someone that will match your demeanor. I....I can't be the person that you want me to be.

No you will not because I understand why he's upset. He's frustrated Christian. He may never exist because your too damn stubborn. I don't have a choice, I'm sick and tired of wondering if your going to get yourself together enough for us to work out so that Raymond could exist. I'm emotionally exhausted and done. From now on if you want us to work, then you have to prove it to me that you want to be with me.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Filtered to Ana/Christian

50shadesofgrey
2013-11-03 02:54 am UTC (link)

You haven't been forcing me, Ana. I don't want you to think that. I was with you because I wanted to be.

I don't know, Anastasia, I don't want to be with anyone else. If I wanted to be, I would be.

Giving me ultimatums is never a good idea, Anastasia. I don't want to have to deal with that for one, and two, I don't think that it's going to do either of us any good. I don't want to face this. I am tired of losing people, please don't do this.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Filtered to Ana/Christian

msanasteele
2013-11-03 04:32 pm UTC (link)

We weren't really doing anything except for that contract. And to tell you the truth, I only agreed to sign this contract because I didn't want to lose you, because I know that I would be hurting if I ever did. Which is why this is so hard to do.

If we were back in Washington or should I say back home, you would be on your next conquest. Its no different here. I....I just can't do this anymore Christian. I haven't been smiling or myself lately and I would like to be my outgoing self again.

Well, then change your attitude. Do things that will make us happy or you happy for that matter. Show me that you care. When your ready to make that happen then I'll be here.

(Reply to this) (Parent)