InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "i wanna be like you!!"

Sarah Sully (sarah_sully) wrote in compass_network,
@ 2013-10-06 00:28:00

Entry tags:

!open, jake sully, sarah sully, ~izzy shaw

I wonder if I should find or build my own lab somewhere else.

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	sarah_sully 2013-10-06 06:05 pm UTC (link)
	Yes sir. But it's still your tower. I can't ask someone not to come in if it's more their property than it's mine. And even with ten the variables aren't enough to keep from seeing someone by chance. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	aedwardstark 2013-10-06 06:19 pm UTC (link)
	You're allowed to have your own lab. Just tell JARVIS to set security protocols so only certain people can get in. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	sarah_sully 2013-10-06 09:59 pm UTC (link)
	but.. he's your son. You'd... let me do that? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	aedwardstark 2013-10-06 10:01 pm UTC (link)
	I have protocols in place that block out Richie and he has protocols in place that block me out. Don't see why you should be any different. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

sarah_sully
2013-10-06 10:56 pm UTC (link)

While the offer brings me to tears at the generosity of it, I don't think it would be fair for me to take you up on it. He's your blood. And I'm not. And while that doesn't mean anything to my sister... It means something to me.

The offer means more than just words can say, Mister Stark, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for it. And I really enjoyed working on projects with you. But I think I need to find some place where I can be sure not to... accidentally run into him and my sister on the elevator.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	aedwardstark 2013-10-06 10:59 pm UTC (link)
	Just out of curiosity, have you actually sat down and talked to your sister or has it been completely accusations and anger on both your parts? I'm not taking sides in any way, just wondering. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

sarah_sully
2013-10-06 11:14 pm UTC (link)

I haven't talked to her face to face, no. I didn't feel like I could without resorting to lowbrow insults and screaming. She doesn't get it anyway. In her mind she didn't do anything wrong. So explaining it to her is like explaining it to a rock, only I'd probably get farther with a rock depending on the material that made it up. Because some guy named 'Dave' exists somewhere in the universe, to her, it makes everything alright.

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	sarah_sully 2013-10-06 11:15 pm UTC (link)
	Or because I didn't lay on my back before your son, and say 'take me please take me' while my Dad's still missing, that it's purely my fault. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	aedwardstark 2013-10-06 11:19 pm UTC (link)
	Didn't really need that last image but I'm pretty sure that's not exactly what she meant. Would you like me to mediate? Keep things calm so you can discuss it like rational people? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

sarah_sully
2013-10-06 11:27 pm UTC (link)

Sorry. It boiled down to me not moving fast enough for her. I should have went for that image first, but it's still pretty raw.

Thank you, but no. If I knew she'd understand, I'd say it would be worth your time, but she wont. She's not ever going to see it any other way.

Part of me wishes I was attractive enough to show her why it hurts so bad. So she'd get it. But I'm not. And now I wont ever be.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	aedwardstark 2013-10-06 11:29 pm UTC (link)
	You keep thinking like that and you're not wrong. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	sarah_sully 2013-10-06 11:36 pm UTC (link)
	Thinking like what? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

aedwardstark
2013-10-06 11:41 pm UTC (link)

If you think you're not attractive, you won't be.

Sarah, you and she are identical twins. That means that when you get to her age you are going to look exactly like her.

I am a giant nerd. I make Bill Gates look like one of the popular kids. And yet, I have women literally throwing themselves at me on a regular basis. Well, not here but back home I did. You know why that was? Attitude. Being attractive is all about attitude. I would walk into a room completely convinced that I was the sexiest mother fucker in there and because I thought I was, I made it happen.

Henry Ford said whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right. If you want to be the most beautiful girl on the island then convince yourself that you are. Just don't be a bitch about it. Because there is a fine line between being confident and being a bitch.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

sarah_sully
2013-10-07 12:07 am UTC (link)

It's a little hard to think that way with such a hard kick in the ego. Even my smart feels like it's smarting a little. In your lab I feel like I'm... the lead ballerina in the Nut Cracker. There's not anything I couldn't do, if I couldn't do it by myself I could ask for help. Or make something to do what I wanted done. I didn't have to be pretty, because I was smart, and smart gets you anywhere, where pretty only lasts so long... and can't get you as far. Didn't mean I didn't try to be. I like my girly dresses, and fingernail polish (taking it apart to the molecular structure is fun too) and make-up.

Right now, I feel like the dumb kid in the corner eating my paste. And paint chips.

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	aedwardstark 2013-10-07 12:14 am UTC (link)
	Bruises heal, even when they're just to your ego. You're still the smart, beautiful young woman that I have come to know. The only person that can change that is you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	sarah_sully 2013-10-07 12:33 am UTC (link)
	Thank you. I kinda needed that. Not that I was fishing. Do you have days where you don't feel... As pretty as you are? Or as smart? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	aedwardstark 2013-10-07 12:36 am UTC (link)
	Yes, I do. Every time I take off my shirt and see the huge scar on my chest where the reactor used to be, I feel like Quasimodo. And I have on multiple occasions experienced my own son making me feel like an idiot. Of course that just lets me know how Howard must have felt when I was little. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	sarah_sully 2013-10-07 12:48 am UTC (link)
	What do you do for an ego boost? And while you are very pretty, the outside isn't what makes you beautiful, Mister Stark. You've always been kind to me, and generous. And you're one of the smartest men I know. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	aedwardstark 2013-10-07 01:09 am UTC (link)
	When I'm feeling stupid I just look through all the various news articles about my genious. I have yet to find something that gets me out of the "you're so freakishly ugly" funk. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	sarah_sully 2013-10-07 02:11 am UTC (link)
	I'm tempted to see if what was good for the goose is good for the gander. Doll up in my cutest dress, fix myself up nice, and go out for a night on the town. But I'm torn, as much as I need a night off... I need to find a store front, and Daddy is still missing, I have the 'what if' plaguing me. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	aedwardstark 2013-10-07 09:42 am UTC (link)
	You need a night off, Sarah. There are so many people that are looking for your dad and finding a new lab area can wait a couple of days. You're going to go insane if you don't have a little fun every now and then. Don't make me tell you about Jared Masters. It's not a pretty story. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	sarah_sully 2013-10-07 06:28 pm UTC (link)
	But time in the lab is fun. I might compromise with myself. Make myself pretty, and look for a good place for a lab. It'll be like window shopping, but with more purpose. Who's Jared Masters? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	aedwardstark 2013-10-07 06:59 pm UTC (link)
	Jared Masters was a kid that I went to college with. He spent all of his time in the lab. Never took any time off. Studied constantly and never had any fun. Killed himself Junior year. Jumped off the roof of the robotics lab. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	sarah_sully 2013-10-07 09:10 pm UTC (link)
	I'm sorry, Mister Stark. That must have been horrible. Were you friends with him? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	aedwardstark 2013-10-07 09:21 pm UTC (link)
	I was. He was one of the only people that didn't have a problem with the fact that I was at college at age 14. I don't want to lose another friend, Sarah. Not like that. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)