InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "how do I look"

Maryanne Elizabeth Walker (maryanne_walker) wrote in compass_network,
@ 2013-07-23 23:59:00

Entry tags:

!open, maryanne walker (oe), ~clint barton (comic)

Ugh I forgot tonight was Werewolf night. So... anyone else that was hunting after dark please vacate the woods ASAP. And I see that George didn't do a notification.

As for me. I'm gonna chill in the meadow. Because this is where I was one year ago today when the Train kicked my pregnant ass off. But tonight I'm counting my blessings and not Raging at the Machine that put me here.

Edit: Also, Clint, darling, sugarbutt. The most awesome Special Friend I've ever had. If you don't answer this I might have to come hunt you down. Though I wouldn't mind you becoming fuzzy and bity once a month, seeing what George and Nina go through I'm pretty sure that's not something you would want to do.

Or you know, if he doesn't read this, anyone that's seen him in the city since the bad moon rose over the horizon, I will totally glomp you when I get back in the morning, if you say so. Or point him this way.

Edit 2:By this way I mean the post, not the meadow.

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

	Maryanne \| Clint cfbarton 2013-07-24 04:33 pm UTC (link)
	I don't think you're going to scare him off. Right now he's a bit on the grump side, but I know where he's coming from on that note. Don't take the way he's acting right now as any indication for how he feels about you. Though he and I haven't really talked about you, but we don't really talk all that much anyway. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Maryanne \| Clint maryanne_walker 2013-07-24 09:45 pm UTC (link)
	It's just supposed to be sex exclusively with cuddles. I don't know. I just think it would be best for me to back off. ~~That way I don't end up getting hurt.~~ (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Maryanne \| Clint cfbarton 2013-07-24 09:59 pm UTC (link)
	Just don't shut yourself off completely. If you want to back off a bit, that's fine. You have to feel comfortable in the relationship. But don't back off so far that you risk losing a chance at being with someone who could be the one that makes you really happy. The day might come when you regret keeping it all to yourself. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Maryanne \| Clint maryanne_walker 2013-07-24 10:18 pm UTC (link)
	I don't know. I just... ~~Things are moving fast, too fast. So~~ I might just wait for him to, I don't know, do things. He might not even be all that interested. I might be reading into things. And... I'm not that girl. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Maryanne \| Clint cfbarton 2013-07-24 10:25 pm UTC (link)
	Talk to him, okay? But you might need to wait until after all this bullshit that the island is doing to him. Just so that he's not throwing a pity party while you're trying to be honest about your feelings. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Maryanne \| Clint maryanne_walker 2013-07-24 10:34 pm UTC (link)
	Why does it matter so much? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Maryanne \| Clint cfbarton 2013-07-24 10:39 pm UTC (link)
	Because I think both of you deserve a real shot at having something that could be great and I don't want either of you to throw it away. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Maryanne \| Clint maryanne_walker 2013-07-25 12:42 am UTC (link)
	I already had something great Clint. Asking for it twice might be pushing it a little. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Maryanne \| Clint cfbarton 2013-07-25 01:40 am UTC (link)
	So that's it? You're going to just give up and back off because you already had a great thing once? That's bullshit. Stop being afraid of getting hurt and give yourself a chance at being loved. I was trying to be nice, I really was, but you're making me want to give you a swift kick in the ass. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Maryanne | Clint

maryanne_walker
2013-07-25 03:11 am UTC (link)

No one said anything about giving up. I give up and some other girl is going to have her hands all over his ass. I'm just saying maybe I should reverse gears just a little, because I'm pretty fucking deep, and if... If he's not interested in me like that... If I'm just a piece of ass I need to act like it. Not like overly attached girlfriend. When I'm not his girlfriend.

Bring it Barton. You think I'm afraid of you?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Maryanne \| Clint cfbarton 2013-07-25 03:16 am UTC (link)
	The only way you're going to find out how he feels about you is talking about it. If I have to kick him in the ass to get him to be honest with you then I'll do it. Just let me know. Because you two could have something amazing if you'd both just talk to each other. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Maryanne \| Clint maryanne_walker 2013-07-25 03:34 am UTC (link)
	He's a man of few words Clint. And I think I'm a woman of too many. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Maryanne \| Clint cfbarton 2013-07-25 03:41 am UTC (link)
	I don't know what else to tell you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Maryanne \| Clint maryanne_walker 2013-07-25 03:56 am UTC (link)
	I did what you told me to do. He asked 'why me' so I told him. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Maryanne \| Clint cfbarton 2013-07-25 04:04 am UTC (link)
	We have insecurity issues that we're pretty good at hiding for the most part. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Maryanne \| Clint maryanne_walker 2013-07-25 04:30 am UTC (link)
	Is there anything I can do to prove that he's... I don't know, worthy? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Maryanne \| Clint cfbarton 2013-07-25 04:32 am UTC (link)
	Being there for him now. Still loving him even though he's deaf. That'll help a lot. I can teach you some sign language if you want. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Maryanne \| Clint maryanne_walker 2013-07-25 04:39 am UTC (link)
	Clint, being deaf... He was already that way when I met him. It's not like I'm just now learning about it. I know some. Learned from Laura when her er kids were here. But does he know sign language? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Maryanne \| Clint cfbarton 2013-07-25 04:41 am UTC (link)
	But he had hearing aids before. Now he doesn't. It's completely different. He knows some. Enough to understand if you tell him you love him. You know that sign, right? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Maryanne \| Clint maryanne_walker 2013-07-25 05:00 am UTC (link)
	Still, it was part of him. It would be like disliking him because of his little toe. Or those cute dimples above his ass. I know the long way and the short. I knew those before. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Maryanne \| Clint cfbarton 2013-07-25 05:06 am UTC (link)
	You do understand that we're the same person, right? With the same body? And the same characteristics of said body? Good. Use what you know. Be there for him and don't let him push you away. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Maryanne \| Clint maryanne_walker 2013-07-25 05:25 am UTC (link)
	I do. But I haven't seen the dimples above your ass. I don't think. I'm almost positive that I haven't, but we've been here a while so it's hard to say no for sure. He knows what he has to say to get me to leave him alone. I mean, if I get weird vibes, like I'm more trouble than I'm worth I might back off. But not to the point that I'd... I don't know. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Maryanne | Clint

cfbarton
2013-07-25 02:21 pm UTC (link)

I don't think you've seen me naked, no. Though I guess technically you have. This place is so weird.

If he is anything like me you'll be able to tell when he's bullshitting. If he's telling you to leave him alone but he's like touching his face a lot, that means it's total bullshit. I don't know if he does that or not, though. You know it's total bullshit coming out of my mouth when I start tugging on my earlobe while I'm talking. I have a lot of tells, actually. It's weird.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Maryanne \| Clint maryanne_walker 2013-07-26 12:35 am UTC (link)
	I guess it would depend on how exactly you two are alike. I mean I'm sure there are some differences. I don't want to be a pest. I'm not the clingy girlfriend type. I've also... Never had to work this hard for a guy before. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Maryanne \| Clint cfbarton 2013-07-26 12:41 am UTC (link)
	I'd have to see him naked to know for sure. Do you think he's worth the work? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)