InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Okay!"

Maryanne Elizabeth Walker (maryanne_walker) wrote in compass_network,
@ 2013-05-24 22:02:00

Entry tags:

!open, maryanne walker (oe), ~clint barton (comic)

Is this how mourning goes? You have so many good days, that you're lead to believe that you're okay. And then something suddenly reminds you of who you lost and it's like your world crumbles around you all over again? ~~Jason wasn't like thi~~

One stupid song that that stupid train made me sing starts playing out of nowhere, and I want to crawl under a ~~fucking~~ rock and stay there.

I need a distraction.

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

	vanya_elenwe 2013-05-25 06:54 am UTC (link)
	Of course. It's all very natural. I cannot promise it will get better, as I don't know if it will for you. But I do know what you feel. And it's good that you are able to speak about it, as you need not bear the burden alone. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	maryanne_walker 2013-05-25 07:49 am UTC (link)
	I think I should probably ask permission from his... Other self? I'm not sure how that works. But I don't want to embarrass Daryl. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	vanya_elenwe 2013-05-25 07:51 am UTC (link)
	Permission for what? They are not the same person, and to treat them as such would only end in pain for you. It would be best, perhaps, to keep them separate. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

maryanne_walker
2013-05-25 08:04 am UTC (link)

For talking about things that happened between his otherself and me. But they are one in the same. To me they have to be. Even if he doesn't remember. Even if he never will see me in the same light. Because if... If he were in complete proper death I couldn't handle it.

I'd rather him be alive somewhere that he doesn't know me, then cold and dead in the ground here, where he can't.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	vanya_elenwe 2013-05-25 08:08 am UTC (link)
	I don't understand. But we are different in that way, and if it eases you to imagine them.. being the same I suppose that's all that matters. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	maryanne_walker 2013-05-25 08:19 am UTC (link)
	The Daryl I knew came from the Daryl that is here... He came from his past. If that makes sense. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	vanya_elenwe 2013-05-25 08:26 am UTC (link)
	Any and all follow up questions I had to that statement would only upset you further, and so I think I must depart from this conversation to avoid it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	maryanne_walker 2013-05-25 06:29 pm UTC (link)
	Oh, sugar, any questions you have wont make me anymore upset than I've made myself. And you're sweet enough that you could talk bad about my Momma and I probably wouldn't even twitch an eyelash. ...You didn't make me feel bad for remembering, you made the burden easier to carry. How could I get upset at anything you say? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	vanya_elenwe 2013-05-25 06:49 pm UTC (link)
	Then I'm glad to have offered even a moment of peace. And I certainly hope you are able to come to your own with time. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	maryanne_walker 2013-05-26 12:20 am UTC (link)
	I hate to ask, can we add his name to the memorial? With the (OE) beside it? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	vanya_elenwe 2013-05-26 02:59 am UTC (link)
	Yes, of course. I have barely begun inscribing names. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	maryanne_walker 2013-05-26 03:28 am UTC (link)
	Thank you. It's Daryl Dixon. (Reply to this) (Parent)

(Read comments) -