InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "somebody needs a tickle"

Maryanne Elizabeth Walker (maryanne_walker) wrote in compass_network,
@ 2013-05-24 22:02:00

Entry tags:

!open, maryanne walker (oe), ~clint barton (comic)

Is this how mourning goes? You have so many good days, that you're lead to believe that you're okay. And then something suddenly reminds you of who you lost and it's like your world crumbles around you all over again? ~~Jason wasn't like thi~~

One stupid song that that stupid train made me sing starts playing out of nowhere, and I want to crawl under a ~~fucking~~ rock and stay there.

I need a distraction.

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	maryanne_walker 2013-05-25 05:29 am UTC (link)
	Oh, was it randomly done? Or had it been planned that way? Unchained Melody. You can hear it here. I'd been in denial about how I felt about him. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Maryanne

anaire
2013-05-25 01:45 pm UTC (link)

Planned?

No, I don't think so. But after we kissed for the first time, we knew it was only a matter of days or weeks before it happened. Our hearts had such a strong pull to each other that there was no other possible ending.

It is a lovely song. Eventually, my dear, you will find beauty in the love you once had and find comfort in your memories.

Take it from one who has lost her husband and all four of her children.

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Anaire

maryanne_walker
2013-05-25 10:45 pm UTC (link)

Well, sometimes the menfolk like to plan when they're going to do something romantic. Some are spontaneous, when the mood strikes.

There are times that I wish I could fast forward things, advance time enough that I'm there. That I can look back on everything he did for me and not find myself in tears because of it. Because they aren't painful memories. They're all good ones. Even the one right as he vanished.

There's just the odd moment where I'm just sitting here minding my own business, and something like that song will pop up, and instead of a good memory, it brings up one like me putting him in the ground. Or how he looked when I found him dead in the woods. Or just the fact that I need him, and he's not here.

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	Maryanne anaire 2013-05-26 01:34 am UTC (link)
	I truly am sorry beyond all measure. There is no healing that words alone can bring; only time will bring you peace, and it is never quickly enough. But if you need someone to talk to, I will be glad to listen whenever you need it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Anaire maryanne_walker 2013-05-26 01:54 am UTC (link)
	Talking is really hard to do sometimes. Usually the only way I can feel any measure of... peace is through violence or debauchery or both. Strong liquid refreshment has been having to play substitute since I've gone normal. And it's not a good substitute. (Reply to this) (Parent)

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