InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I love someone I can't have"

Malcolm Tucker (fuckitybye) wrote in compass_network,
@ 2013-05-15 09:20:00

Entry tags:

!open, maryanne walker (oe), steve rogers

Filtered away from children.
~~Fuck this~~

So, if we die here, we go home, right? Not to be totally fucking morbid- ~~why don't we just~~

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	fuckitybye 2013-05-15 09:44 pm UTC (link)
	I really don't fucking know anymore. No, probably not. Just a thought. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	maryanne_walker 2013-05-16 02:29 am UTC (link)
	All I can say is please. It's selfish that I don't want you to die. But it's so hard to bury the people I've grown to love. The hardest thing I've ever had to do. ~~I know it's not likely to stop. Until I'm here all alone.~~ (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Maryanne

fuckitybye
2013-05-16 12:50 pm UTC (link)

Like I said to Damon, I've probably got too much of an ego to actually do it anyway.

Just pissed off with everything. When Grey was here, I didn't even want to go home, I was much happier here than I was there. And Kelly- I can hardly stand to be in the same room as her, but it was familiar. I just realise that I might never see my kids again. Wouldn't want them to come here anyway, but- I don't know. Sorry, I know it's shit for everyone.

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Malcolm

maryanne_walker
2013-05-16 09:54 pm UTC (link)

There's no need to be sorry. I know what you're going through. Sometimes I want to go home too, even though I know Daryl isn't there, and Tim wouldn't be there, which probably makes me a horrible mother... Hell I'd probably be two seconds shy of becoming a rug in front of someone's fireplace.

But there's got to be a small glimmer of hope that maybe he'll come back, maybe she'll come back. So I put up with the bullshit. You're stronger than I am Malcolm. One of the things I love about you is that you're one stubborn bastard, don't let this place talk you into doing something you'd never dream of doing back home.

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	Maryanne fuckitybye 2013-05-16 10:50 pm UTC (link)
	I know you do, and I appreciate it, but- you've got enough to worry about without me adding to it with my own shit. I'm not stronger, Maryanne. I just put on a good front. It's not a new thing, it's not something I wouldn't do back home. I considered it, regularly. I've had a breakdown before. I won't. I won't leave you, not on purpose. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Malcolm

maryanne_walker
2013-05-17 02:11 am UTC (link)

Don't ever think your woes are burdensome to me, they aren't. You need somebody, I'm here. I'm actually not doing as bad this go around as I was the first. While having him vanish mid coitus was very weird, he didn't die this go round. And then there's the other Daryl. While they aren't the same it lets me know that he didn't go home to die. So if you need me, don't think that you're adding to my pile.

Considering it and actually doing it are two different things.

Thank you. I hate to ask you not to, it makes me feel like a world class ass.

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Maryanne

fuckitybye
2013-05-17 12:06 pm UTC (link)

I appreciate that. Not really used to people actually giving a shit. Takes some getting used to. Yeah, I suppose it's different from dying. Still fucking shit though. How is other Daryl? How's he taking all of this?

Aye, I know. And really, as shit as things are here, it's a very different kind of stress from home. Not quite so- suicidey.

Nah, I get it. It's kind of sweet in a fucked up way.

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Malcolm

maryanne_walker
2013-05-18 04:36 am UTC (link)

When I felt like I was getting it from all sides, you were there to call people on their bullshit. It's not something anyone has ever done for me before. I didn't realize how nice it was to have someone champion for me. And I know it wasn't just for me... But it's not something I'll ever forget. How could I not give a shit about you?

I think it's weird for him. I told him how it happened, without making it a novel. But he's how he was before we started anything.

That's good to know

It would be hard to imagine this place without you Malcolm.

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	Maryanne fuckitybye 2013-05-18 05:25 pm UTC (link)
	Calling people on their bullshit is my specialty! I've always got your back, darling. Yeah, it would be weird. I'd find it weird. But I guess it's good that he's here in some form at least. And you, sweetheart. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Malcolm maryanne_walker 2013-05-18 09:52 pm UTC (link)
	I know. And I know I don't ever have to ask. And you know I've got yours, right? I don't know if I find anything this island does as weird anymore. Fucked up, sure, but not too weird. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Maryanne fuckitybye 2013-05-18 11:09 pm UTC (link)
	I know, darling. We're a fucking good team. No, but he's just arrived. I would find it weird if I'd just arrived. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Malcolm maryanne_walker 2013-05-19 02:57 am UTC (link)
	We are. That's why the island would sink without us. Yeah, I guess I would too. (Reply to this) (Parent)

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