InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "The cleaning lady."

Brynhild Ingouf (brynhild_ingouf) wrote in compass_network,
@ 2020-05-23 02:53:00

Entry tags:

brynhild, jacob frye, miguel o'hara, zatanna

Would anyone be terribly offended if I dubbed the station Texas?

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brynhild_ingouf
2020-05-24 03:04 am UTC (link)

Oh, so my fretting over what you have told Thor about who Zu's mother is, is for nothing? You would be content if I simply avoided him, and never spoke a word of it, and what happened?

It is hardly like I painted it like you would strike me down Loki. I simply painted you as any other sibling of any other wronged significant other. I didn't even name either of you. Zatanna strikes me as a woman that might have been in the same situation, just perhaps not with gods.

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truly_desperate
2020-05-24 03:31 am UTC (link)

Ah, so you fretted not to show me your respect but to what...? Gain my absolution? That is not mine to give. The only promise I can make is that if you tell him your story and you leave out crucial details, I will promise to fill them. You have a child together. Do really believe me that cruel an uncle as to stand between her parents?

Do not insult my intellect. It was clear who you meant to any member of my family. A family who does not know that you have wronged my brother because I did not wish to poison your daughter's relationship with you.

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brynhild_ingouf
2020-05-24 03:48 am UTC (link)

This, this is why I need Tennessee.

My daughter knows that I haven't been abstinent since Thor and I split up, I don't exactly keep my promiscuity a secret. What happened is between me and the Thor that is no longer here. If I must tell the one that is currently here the story, rather than the simple fact that he is not the same man, I will. But I will not pretend to be someone I am not simply because you think it's some slight against you.

May the gods continue to be kind to you, and not put you in the same situation.

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truly_desperate
2020-05-24 04:46 am UTC (link)

A slight? Do you think I would care for that? You were important to me once - you have decided that you do not wish to be part of this family, since then you are only important as far you are my niece's mother.

All I ask of you is to put your negative words behind a filter so that my grandchildren do not read your words when they are children again and decide that they want to spent a second longer in the same room with me.

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brynhild_ingouf
2020-05-24 05:11 am UTC (link)

It was the only thing I could do. You know what I did, probably with who. I couldn't continue to behave as if nothing had happened, where is the honor in that? To act as if he'd simply grown tired of me, as if I was scorned... It's not as if I've ever stopped caring.

Most of your grandchildren don't know who I was. And Bill is old enough right now to know I would deserve anything you sent my way. But I will in no way insinuate that if you were to be vengeful that I wouldn't deserve it.

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	Private truly_desperate 2020-05-24 07:34 am UTC (link)
	Are you saying you were raped? ~~You clearly do not want to understand~~ (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Private brynhild_ingouf 2020-05-24 10:33 am UTC (link)
	What? No. That's not what I meant. No one forces me to do anything I don't want to do, ever. Not even when I was human. Nor did they dare to perform that atrocity if I was on the raid, because they knew what I would do to them. Norse or Saxton or Franc. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Private truly_desperate 2020-05-24 12:20 pm UTC (link)
	Then you clearly had a choice and you preferred a night with a man, who looks like he does not even know how to use a shower, over a life next to a god. It is a very clear choice. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

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brynhild_ingouf
2020-05-24 08:19 pm UTC (link)

I assure you, he showers, probably more than most humans do. But don't get it into your mind that it was something simple as choice. Let's go with facts, shall we? He didn't know me from any other bloodsucking vampire he'd ever met, yet he put himself in harm's way because I needed someone there. And he was willing to stay to insure I carried out the sentence that had to be carried out, was even contemplating doing it himself so I wouldn't have to. He even made it to where there could be no questioning of my ruling. What happened between my ruling and dawn, happened. And there's no changing it, no excuse for it. It was only the once, until Thor ended it.

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	Private truly_desperate 2020-05-24 11:58 pm UTC (link)
	Ah, I can see you are quite easily bedded. Knight in dirty trench coat is all it takes. ~~If you had used~~ You should have known my brother well enough to know that he will not stand by it. All I see is a simple choice. You preferred the man who does not know how to change his clothes over the gods you dined with. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

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brynhild_ingouf
2020-05-25 03:28 am UTC (link)

~~I don't mean it disrespect fully but: well duh~~ Oh don't be immature, he changes his clothes, he has several pairs of the same pants, shirt, ties and coats. And shoes.

Here are some more facts: I was seeing Isabel when Thor came and broke my bed. And... If I hadn't bedded John, Thor would have been down in that hole with me and Abra instead of John, and Shannon would have had the whole of Pennywise's tentacle thrust through her. She would have been gone before you even climbed out of that hole. It would have been her we buried instead of your brother. The Fates are cruel here just as they are in our own worlds.

I'm sorry I hurt you. I would apologize for hurting Thor, but shouldn't I do that to him? I still care for you all, You, Kat, Frigga, Bill, Eddie and Richie, Lucy... Thor. I stopped coming around so things wouldn't be awkward or strange. But I didn't stop thinking about you all. I know you hear my prayers, do you not hear your names among them?

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	Private truly_desperate 2020-05-25 03:49 am UTC (link)
	She was dead. I gave up my chance at being fully alive again for her. Thor's death was in vain. It was pointless. It saved nothing. All it brought was a difficult choice for his brother. ~~You made it a little bit easier.~~ Do not use my pain to justify your deed. You have no right. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

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brynhild_ingouf
2020-05-25 05:04 am UTC (link)

But there was a difference between them. His death was not in vain. She was newly dead, her soul had not yet been claimed by the world she came from, his had I felt it. You wouldn't have been able to save him no matter what you had on you.

I'm not trying to justify what I did, I don't feel I need to. It was down to attraction, and need for a distraction. And the smell of him wakes something baser inside of me that I've yet to define. It was rough, it was dirty, and had nothing to do with love.

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	Private truly_desperate 2020-05-25 06:45 am UTC (link)
	You are wrong. I could have brought it back. I could feel the pull I had on both. But I knew that there was not enough energy to bring back two. I had energy for one and one alone. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Private brynhild_ingouf 2020-05-25 07:32 am UTC (link)
	I wish I was. I had drank from Thor nearly every time we'd made love for two years. My soul was attached to his. I felt it when he was stabbed and I felt it when he didn't feel it anymore. I felt every second until... There was nothing left to feel. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Private truly_desperate 2020-05-25 08:01 am UTC (link)
	I care not for what you think. I know what happened. Your grasp on his soul must have already been waning. Do you know what it feels like to let go of someone like that? You do not forget it. Don't talk like you walked in my shoes. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

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brynhild_ingouf
2020-05-25 09:30 am UTC (link)

It takes more than a month and a half to wash away two years. Why do you think I've been unable to let go? Why do you think I've spent nearly every waking moment either occupied so that I couldn't think straight, or so drunk that I couldn't see straight. And any sober thought spent thinking if I hadn't bedded John... Maybe he'd still be here. I felt everything Loki. To the point that I could have sworn I felt the warmth of blood spilling from me.

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	Private truly_desperate 2020-05-25 09:43 am UTC (link)
	And yet you did not have his soul in your hand and let go. You do not get to tell me that it did not happen. I know what happened. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Private brynhild_ingouf 2020-05-25 10:25 am UTC (link)
	You're right, I don't know what you held. But I know what the state of his body was. I know that clown stabbed through him so deep that it still caught her. I don't think even the advances Asgard has could have repaired him, given his soul a place to stay, and I sure know that our medical staff could have done nothing for him. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Private truly_desperate 2020-05-26 02:18 am UTC (link)
	Ah, so now you admit his soul was still there. Next you admit his body could have been healed. The wound could very well have been healed. Cease your lies. I know what I'm capable of. You might think you know everything about death but you have not walked where I walked. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

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brynhild_ingouf
2020-05-26 03:22 am UTC (link)

Hear what you want to hear, see what you want to see, negate the facts, negate the truth. It's all on you, vengeful brother, and what you want to believe is what you want to believe. Here are two facts that you seem to forget, I am not even three hundred years younger than you, and I wasn't a pampered prince in a golden palace. And you've treated me like trash for about as much as I am willing to handle, I'm not seeing your brother anymore I don't have to take it anymore. You might want to not look down your nose at so many, as if they're all below you. Because the many might be your downfall.

This conversation is done.

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truly_desperate
2020-05-26 03:38 am UTC (link)

It is not I who mistreated you. You think my skills are below yours. You tell me what I have been through and where I lay wrong. You try to prove me wrong at every corner I take. You try to deny my pain. It can't have been because of this, it can't have been because of that.

I know what I know. ~~You were never interested why I know, only to prove me wrong.~~ Paint me a villain for it all you want. You might as well be right.

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brynhild_ingouf
2020-05-26 04:30 am UTC (link)

I have never treated you like you were inferior. Never treated you like you couldn't do something. In fact I remember coming to you when Colonel Crawley lay dying because I just knew you could do something. Where as you have always treated me as if I'm just another mortal that couldn't possibly know anything about anything. That I wasn't worthy of your brother in the first place, you ask why I found John appealing? Because he never made me feel unworthy. He's never made me feel as if I'm a bore to him.

I was trying to take some of your guilt away. Happy? For no other reason than I didn't feel like you deserved to feel guilty. But fine, you want the truth? You actually chose yourself over your brother. Even in that puddle of blood with his spine severed, with a hole big enough for a cannonball to have slid through him with ease, he was still there.

But you want me to truly not to give a shit about you? Congratulations. I don't give a big pile what happens to you. I'm sure this doesn't change anything about how you feel about me.

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