InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I can fly!"

Marian of Knighton (_night_watchman) wrote in compass_network,
@ 2019-02-06 04:10:00

Entry tags:

!closed, fitzwilliam darcy, ~marian of knighton (oe)

Message to Darcy
Dearest Darcy,

I am going to plead ignorance, though to be fair, it is, because there is a lot of time between the twelfth century and the nineteenth, it is. I don't know how long you have to stay in isolation. But I also know, that when my father did, he wasn't completely alone. When I did. I wasn't completely alone.

So, I don't know if you'll read this, I don't know if you have everything shut off... But I think this could be a compromise.

And here's the stupid question: How are you, my friend?

Yours,

Marian.

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_night_watchman
2019-02-06 11:11 am UTC (link)

Darcy,

Think nothing of it. I am sure you would have done the same if it were anyone else. I was sorely tempted to come and cook it. But I remembered. Are you running low?

I don't want to sound confrontational. But I don't believe you. No one is fine after this, unless they are cold and unfeeling. And I refuse to believe you are anything close to cold and unfeeling.

~Marian

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mrdarcy_
2019-02-06 11:28 am UTC (link)

Marian,

You are very kind, but please do not trouble yourself. Lyla is very helpful in the kitchen, I am in safe hands.

I am fin. My sister is not dead, she has simply returned home where there are many people, most likely myself included, there to look out for her. She will be perfectly well, although I shall miss her company dearly.

My wife is not dead, either. We are in the same place, it is only the time that is wrong.

- Darcy

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	_night_watchman 2019-02-06 11:38 am UTC (link)
	Darcy, That's what friends do. It's no trouble. But since you have Lyla fresh food os better than reheated soups. That all sounds very logical. But I'm unsure what you mean the time is wrong. ~Marian (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

mrdarcy_
2019-02-06 12:36 pm UTC (link)

Marian,

My wife was born here on the station. In fact, she is currently but one year old. If, when people disappear, they are returned to the last moment of their lives at home, Mrs Darcy is currently 25 years into the future, but in the same place. Still on the station.

People move around in time very regularly here. I have done as much myself already, although it was unintentional. So if I am patient, there is a high probability that it will happen again. And if I am not patient, then I am as well putting that energy towards learning everything I can about time travel.

When I swapped places with my future self, he was still married to Ashley, he had a family with her. Why would I have experienced that if not to give me hope?

- Darcy

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_night_watchman
2019-02-06 08:59 pm UTC (link)

Darcy,

Hope is a good thing to have, because there is always a small chance that they may come back. I don't know anything about time travel, besides we both did it. I haven't traveled about in time here specifically, but I do know it's done. My own son has come back as an adult once. And the island did enjoy tossing about the Sully children quite a bit.

But that said... And I hate myself for having to say this, the chance is very small. This place enjoys it's cruelty. I would hate to see your hopes fly so very high, only to be dashed. Please be careful.

You're a good man and you deserve far better than this.

~Marian

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mrdarcy_
2019-02-06 10:58 pm UTC (link)

But as long as a chance remains, no matter how small, then I just have to hold onto hope. What is the alternative? I have lost both of my parents, and it was awful. It took me a long time to come out of my grief and back to the world, but I did, eventually, because I could trust in God, and because there was closure. I could bury them and mourn them and know that they were never coming back.

This... how do you mourn this? When there is no closure, when the chance remains? And when you have seen the future you want already? Why? I cannot believe it was a fabrication, a lie.

No. No, I must hold onto the possibility.

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_night_watchman
2019-02-07 05:37 am UTC (link)

I'm not going to pretend I understand how time travel works in general, let alone this place. And I'm not going to tell you not to hope, because there is that rare instance where people do return.

But there is a chance she may not. And I'm not saying you will have to face that inevitability now, or ever, but I don't want that possibility to hit you in the face like a herd of stampeding cattle. I don't want to see you crushed any more than I know you already are.

And them taken by death doesn't make it any easier. Not when you're left behind. ~~Not when you see the last breath leave their body.~~

But I will tell you this, you need to get out of that apartment. When you're ready you should pack your things and lock it up. Just leave it as she left it, so you have a place to go when you need to feel her. To smell her. To even hear the whispers of... her life.

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	mrdarcy_ 2019-02-07 06:51 am UTC (link)
	I appreciate your concern, but I am not leaving the apartment. I mean, I am, to walk the dog at least, but not like that. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

_night_watchman
2019-02-07 07:25 am UTC (link)

That's not healthy Darcy.

And I have never heard of anyone returning to the same spot that they left anyway. I left, and I was on an island, in my apartment trying my damnedest to keep myself and ~~Oh hell I had totally forgot about Hansel~~ Robin warm. And then I came back and a year had gone by here, when there had only been a few months, and I was in a room full of sleep pods.

I'm not saying do it today, or tomorrow, or even a week from now. But you have people that care about you. And we are selfish and want you to come back to us. And you wont be able to, if you stay in there. Because I bet her last cup of tea is still sitting exactly where she left it.

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mrdarcy_
2019-02-07 07:55 am UTC (link)

If she is my Ashley, she will still know which apartment is ours even if she arrives in a different place.

Eventually, I will pack her belongings up and store them somewhere safe for her. I do not mean that I will live in a shrine. I have her library if I want to go somewhere to feel her presence enough for that. But it will not be before the fortnight is up, and possibly a good deal longer than that. In my time, it is not uncommon for a full year to pass in mourning a spouse. I can understand why now.

Please do not rush me.

- Darcy

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_night_watchman
2019-02-07 08:15 am UTC (link)

If she is your Ashley likely she would yell for you through the CB the moment she got here to find your exact location at that given moment. And then dash to wrap herself around you arms and legs not caring who was there to witness it.

It took me two years, seven months and sixteen days after Robin died to pack up his things. I will not rush you. But I won't let you vanish either. And I will help if you'll let me. Because it is difficult, more than it is doing it for a Parent.

Us northerners have to stick together, remember?

~Marian

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mrdarcy_
2019-02-07 09:02 am UTC (link)

For once in my life, I wouldn’t care who was looking either.

I thought you married as you lay dying before you were brought here? Apologies. Perhaps he was a second husband. I am not going to vanish, I just intend to complete the two weeks. Thank you for the offer but I am not sure yet. I am not ready.

Yes, that is true. How is Mr Rochester faring after his surgery?

- Darcy

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_night_watchman
2019-02-07 09:23 am UTC (link)

Good. Because she could rightly box your ears and no one would complain if you did care.

This place is odd as it is cruel Darcy. It is the same Robin, but I didn't get the chance to marry him while he was here, and he didn't remember this place, and I only had vague memories of it. And he was quite charming and persuasive when he was here. If you get my meaning. And we were engaged.

It is an open offer. As long as I am here to offer it. Even if it is to simply unfold boxes, and give support. I don't have many friends, I am stubborn and willful, there's not many people who can disregard these faults. So I have to hold what friends I do have close. And I am willing to fight tooth and nail to keep them. And I would call you my friend.

He has a hand, now, and can see. ~~And is also charming~~

~Marian

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mrdarcy_
2019-02-07 09:56 pm UTC (link)

I never thought I'd see the day that I could actually follow the logic of that explanation, but I can. And I am sorry for you, it seems you have had to lose him more than once.

I will keep it in mind. I think that we have similar problems with finding and keeping friends.

That is excellent news, I am glad for him. I shall resume calling upon him next week.

- Darcy

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_night_watchman
2019-02-07 10:40 pm UTC (link)

Thank you. I tell you all that not to draw attention from your own sorrow but to prove that I can, well and truly, relate. And I would go through that pain a thousand times if it meant you did not have to. Sadly things don't work that way, so all I can do is to weep beside you and try and take your mind from the sad bits.

The ones we do have are very loyal and worth keeping.~~.. Which sounds as if I'm stroking my own ego,~~

I shall tell him, I'm sure he will be glad to hear it.

~Marian

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