InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "it's too late to apologize"

Astoria Greengrass (miss_greengrass) wrote in collision_rp,
@ 2013-06-01 20:14:00

Entry tags:

astoria greengrass, pansy parkinson

WHO: Astoria Greengrass and Pansy Nott
WHAT: A chance to talk
WHERE: Greengrass Estate
WHEN: Saturday late afternoon
RATING: Low
STATUS: Incomplete

It had never occurred to Astoria that she would end up with company. So, when the Elf came to let her know that she had a visitor, Astoria was momentarily lost. Who would be visiting her? As far as she knew there hadn't been a letter, but then again, anything that came for her was having to go through her father. Maybe he'd set the visitation up. In that moment, no matter who it was, Astoria was just greatful to have someone on the outside interested in seeing her.

Her book was set aside, along with her cup of tea, and Astoria stood and straightened any wrinkles from her dress before she re-entered the house to meet her guest in her mother's parlor. When she entered, Astoria was momentarily stunned to see that her guest was none other than Pansy. "Pansy, so lovely to see you. I trust you had a wonderful time on your honeymoon." She didn't have any problems with Pansy, but knew that the older woman was very close with the others involved in her 'tantrum', she could only guess that was the reason Pansy was here.

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

queenofsnakes
2013-06-02 02:30 am UTC (link)

Pansy was not one to be kept waiting though she did keep her composure even if the house elf was a bit annoying. The only thing that she had heard since she got home was about this thing that had happened. Her mother had even discussed the situation with her which had given her a very interesting perspective. It struck her then that the elder members of society viewed them as squabbling children as a whole. This would not do.

Turning she smiled when she saw Astoria. "Darling, it has been so long," she crossed to her and gave her air kisses on each cheek. "The honeymoon was lovely but married life is simply divine." She pulled back to look at Astoria. "But I want to hear from you. What has been going on? It would have been easier to see the Dark Lord himself than it was to see you."

(Reply to this) (Thread)

miss_greengrass
2013-06-02 02:40 am UTC (link)

Astoria returned each of those air kisses in return and gave Pansy a sad little smile. "I am happy for you. It was a beautiful ceremony." Pansy's question was not a surprise to her and yet she quirked a brow before answering. "There has been far too much going on and yet nothing all too surprising I guess. Though, I have to say I am surprised to see you here, Daddy hasn't let anyone see me for the last two weeks. Well, thirteen days to be exact."

"I am sure you have heard at least one side of another. Would you join me outside? The weather has been far too nice to stay cooped up in here. I have tea and little snacks out there." Astoria paused a moment before continue, almost as if she was hesitant to continue. "Then you can at least tell me what you have heard and I can try to explain my side."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

queenofsnakes
2013-06-02 02:59 am UTC (link)

"Thank you darling" Pansy said, with a smile. "Yes, I spoke with your father. I suppose he believes that I can be a good influence but mostly I wanted to just see my friend."

Nodding, Pansy followed Astoria outside. "That sounds lovely." She raised an eyebrow at the girl. "Well, I heard that there was some sort of alcohol fueled breakdown precipitated by jealousy and public outbursts. Frankly, the picture painted was quite unflattering and unlike you. This is why I had to come and see you. I am a bit concerned, darling."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

miss_greengrass
2013-06-02 03:38 am UTC (link)

"Ah, 'friend' a word I have not heard in quite awhile. I am greatful to hear you can still consider me a friend. That might just change here shortly. Once you hear what I have to say. If so, I completely understand. If I could, I would distance myself from.. well, myself."

Once back outside, Astoria was not surprised to see an extra setting had been brought out for Pansy. Astoria motioned for Pansy to sit before she took her seat again. "I wish I knew where to really begin. For a while now, I have suspected... things... were going on. Draco was still 'engaged' to Lily when the flirting between him and Gwen went to a whole other category. It bothered me, and yet I held my tongue. It just felt.. inappropriate to me. And then, once things were officially over between Lily and Draco, he was different. At the time, I thought it was just me.

When the truth potion began spilling out into Diagon Alley - like those love potion candies and treat, remember? Well, I couldn't pass up an opportunity to confront Gwen and ask her if there was something else going on between Draco and her. All of this was in a private comment over the journals so as not to cause a scene for the public eye. Adrian sent me a nasty owl, and at that time, I had been going on very little sleep. I sent him an owl back and told him that I was tired and going to try and sleep, if another hour happened to tap at my window, I was going to blast it into a pile of ash and feathers. Not one of my finer moments, but that was the start of this whole blasted mess."

Astoria paused as she rested her head in her hands before continuing. "I sent Draco a letter, in which I did my best to explain myself. I told him that I have nothing to compare this relationship to. He was my first... everything... and it felt like things were going to fast. It was the weekend of your wedding, just before all of this, and maybe that was what caused it. I do not know for sure. But, I broke it off with him. I sent him his grandmother's ring. I just wanted to start over, to take things slower. To maybe gain back the trust that I was losing in him, which at the time I very well thought could have just been my own insecurities.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

miss_greengrass
2013-06-02 03:38 am UTC (link)

Three nights after that, I think, we were talking through the journals and he asked me to come by. So, I did. I might have given back his ring, but that did not mean I stopped loving him. I cared about him, and I worried. I just wanted to make sure he was okay. He was drunk, so very drunk. He could barely manage the stairs at his flat, so I helped him up to his room. I wanted him to shower, he had not done much of that it seemed like. While he was going to do that, I was going to clean up a little bit and make him something to eat. Again, he was drunk, I would have done the same thing for anyone who was that bad off." Astoria's voice wavered some as she spoke, as angry and disgusted as she was by him, it still hurt that things ended how they had. She quieted a moment as she wiped at the corners of her eyes. "He wanted me to shower with him, I told him that he had nearly killed me on the stairs, I was not getting in the shower when he was like that. He said that Gwen would shower with him. That was all it took. Whether it was true or not, those words were what was needed to confirm what I had suspected. And, I blew up at him. I called her diseased, he grabbed me and did so strong enough to leave bruises in the shape of his fingers. In defense I kicked him in the shin and ended up smacking him when he called me a cow. I ran out of there so fast and would not bring myself to look back.

After that, there is little I remember. I bought whiskey. Not just one bottle, but multiples. I do not know if one of them might have been drugged with the truth potion or not, but, I apparently told the entire world that Draco and Gwen were sleeping together. I do not know what else was said. I have never drank that much in my life. The incident with Draco happened on a Friday night, all of Saturday and Sunday are a blank to me. Monday, I woke up here and this is where I have been ever since. I tried to apologize to everyone, Adrian only made it worse by telling me that Draco's been sleeping with him as well. He gave me his permission to run a full page ad in the Prophet to tell the world of he and Draco. That is not me. I hate the person I have become. So that is what you missed out on. And, to the world, I am a raving lunatic. All I want is to be obliviated and forget I ever knew who Draco Malfoy was."

Astoria sighed and turned her attention up to the woman who sat across from her. "I know I did wrong. All of this could have been avoided had I never agreed to go on that date with him on Valentine's Day. I should never of accepted his apology over the ...mudblood... debacle and left it at that. Now, I have to get myself a flatmate or lose my home, Daddy does not want me living alone. Among other things I have had to agree to on threat of being disowned. My life is a mess, Pansy. I blame no one else by myself. Since I have tried to right my wrongs, from here on out, the only thing I can do is try to move on. Sorry for being so long winded. It is a long story."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

queenofsnakes
2013-06-03 02:43 am UTC (link)

Pansy listened to Astoria as he talked. She didn't even attempt to interrupt. It was clear that she needed to get all of this off her chest. Her lips turned up into a smile that didn't reach her eyes. "Well, it had been a full few weeks for you, hasn't it?" she asked though not really expecting an answer to the rhetorical question as she poured her tea.

"Frankly there's been a bit of a ripple effect. It was bound to happen given everyone's lack of sanity in the whole situation. Let me tell you what I've been hearing," Pansy started, reaching out to take a sip of her tea. "Upon my return from my honeymoon, my mother invited me to tea with her and her friends. They were incredibly amused and contemptuous at the display. The fact is that it has reflected badly on our entire generation. They spoke of us being called a lost generation? Do you know what that is? That is when the older generation is slow to hand over the reigns of polite society to their children and instead hand them over to their grandchildren. Now I don't know about you but I certainly did not sit through all of my mother's lessons to be skipped over."

She took a breath to calm herself because Pansy could feel herself getting worked up all over again. "Listen to be very carefully darling because I have a feeling that you may not believe me but there is a difference between love and sex. If you are not comfortable with the split then this may not be the society for you. The truth is that we are the only ones that can protect ourselves and everything that you do publicly puts all of us either at an advantage or a disadvantage. You have to decide if you are actually ready to enter into this world just yet. My fear is that you have been very protected here in this beautiful estate." She reached out and covered Astoria's hand with her own simply so ensure she could look in her eyes. "Make no mistake, this is not a flaw with you but rather your mother but regardless there is a reason that you are a Slytherin my darling and you need to start getting over this Snow White fairy tale persona that you have wrapped yourself in. It is unrealistic and will only bring yourself misery. You will dive yourself mad and get us all killed. Worse than that, and again I don't expect you to believe me but it also drove away a man who loved you. Because if you hear nothing else to take away from this conversation, take this: in this society, there is a difference between love and sex. Sex gets you off and is forgotten. If a man loves you, he keeps any outside sex from you and the gossip. That is a man who loves his wife. Do not punish him for following the rules of our society because you don't like them. Recognize what he did for you and don't punish him for that. If you don't want him seeing anyone else then be his mistress."

Pansy sighed. "The fact is that perhaps you were too young to find the love of your life now. Keep this in mind if a man declares his love for you. You deserve to find your own happiness but don't expect that it will be handed to you as it is in a storybook. That's a disservice to him."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

miss_greengrass
2013-06-07 08:54 pm UTC (link)

Astoria was both shocked and dismayed to hear just how her actions had affected others. And she found it hard to lift her gaze to Pansy as the woman continued to talk. A hand was placed on her's and Astoria finally lifted her eyes to search Pansy's. There were so many questions she had. So many doubts.

"You are right, but then, I guess you already knew that. Can I ask you something Pansy? Let's just say in a hypothetical world, you found out that your husband was secretly shagging um... let's say the Mudblood Granger, would you be able to accept that? Accept it because this is how the world we live in works? Wouldn't you be disgusted to know that he touched her? That he laid with her?" Despite the fact that Gwen was a pureblood, it made no difference to her, Astoria was still disgusted. Then, there was Adrian's involvement in all of this as well. "I know there is more to what you said than my ability to simply accept the fact that sex is going to happen. This is just something I cannot get past. Be it because I have been protected here, or that I am too young, whatever the reason it is hard."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

queenofsnakes
2013-06-08 12:33 am UTC (link)

Pansy narrowed her eyes. "Are you saying that Draco is sleeping with a mudblood? Because if you are, that is both scandalous and dangerous. To answer your question, no it would not be acceptable but my husband would never do that because of the danger that would put us both in." Pansy leaned in. "Is that what you are trying to say, Astoria? Is Draco carrying on with with a mudblood or even a muggle?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

miss_greengrass
2013-06-08 12:40 am UTC (link)

Astoria could not help the sarcastic little laugh that erupted from her mouth. "Honestly, it would not surprise me if he was. But, in this instance I used someone that you hate, for obvious reason ofcourse. Because, that is how I feel. Yes, I understand she is your best friend but that does not mean I have to like her. I tried once upon a time, but over the last half of a year, or however long it has been, it is obvious she had no interest in even pretending to be civil. No Pansy, as I said, Draco is shagging Gwen and Adrian. One is a person I hate, the other is just disgusting." Astoria knew she was overstepping her boundaries, but what was one more person who had a dislike for her?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

queenofsnakes
2013-06-08 01:08 am UTC (link)

"Don't you see the difference, Astoria?" Pansy snapped. "Fine you aren't fond of Gwen. I could list the women in this society that I don't like but it doesn't mean that you get to endanger the rest of us because before you were married or engaged, Draco slept with someone you didn't like. Don't you understand the difference?" She took a deep breath to compose herself. "You knew Draco was far from a virgin before you met him. You knew he'd slept with Gwen and with me for that matter before you. You know what he is like. If you can't accept who Draco is then what were you doing with him?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

miss_greengrass
2013-06-08 01:34 am UTC (link)

"No, I don't see a difference. Maybe I am just an ignorant little girl. To young to understand that the world she was born into are full of depraved sex maniacs content on sharing everyone else's bed!" Like Pansy, she took a moment to breathe and calm herself before continuing. "I am well aware that he was with both of you. I understood that, and I am aware there were probably many others. What I did not know, is that he was in to having multiple partners at once! That is something I should have been made aware of beforehand. As there never would have been a relationship between the two of us. Especially if I had known that he had a thing for men."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

queenofsnakes
2013-06-08 02:05 am UTC (link)

"No you are behaving like a spoiled little brat" Pansy said standing. "Did you ask him, Astoria? Did you ask him anything about himself? Or have you just shut everyone out who didn't fit into your precious little world?" She leaned in to add emphasis to her next statement. Pansy's gaze was steady and her voice steely. "While I do hope that we can continue to be friends because I do like you quite a lot Astoria, if you do anything else to endanger my family or my friends, you are going to have more than daddy to answer to. Do I make myself clear?"

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(Read comments) -