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Tweak says, "And you're so smart?"

shieldedbella (shieldedbella) wrote in colligo_threads,
@ 2012-01-15 17:04:00

Entry tags:

bella swan, edward cullen

WHO: Bella Swan & Edward Cullen
WHEN: January 15, early evening
WHERE: 602 D
RATING: PG
STATUS: In Progress

Bella was tired. She had walked around the unfamiliar city for hours.

She had awaken to find herself in her own bed, in her own room and yet, she still wasn't home. It had been two weeks since Edward and her had found themselves in this strange place and within a few hours, even they were separated.

She didn't claim to understand what had happened New Year's Eve. In truth, she didn't wish to ponder on it. She had too many things that had happened to bother lingering on some sort of spell or whatever it was that had happened.

So much had happened and as she walked, she couldn't help but feel relieved to have some time alone.

Normally, she would have immediately ran to Edward as soon as she woke, but things were no longer the same. She'd had a lot of time to think, a lot of time to ponder everything that they had been told and what was in store for them.

She wasn't naive nor was she ignorant. She knew Edward loved her, but Rosalie had been wrong. It wasn't just blood that Edward cared more about.

No, his fear of God and his belief inability to possess a soul any longer would leave him incapable of ever delivering on his part of their deal. Now that he knew just being intimate with her would lead to her death, he would use that as a means to stay away from her. Sure, they could be married, but they would never truly live as husband and wife. And as a person who didn't believe in the foundation of marriage, Bella wasn't sure she could ever truly be happy in a marriage like that.

She loved Edward, more than anything. But she knew he'd rather watch her grow old and die then risk her soul or life for a brief moment of pleasure. He was noble in this aspect, as she was selfish. She truly felt as if that moment of pleasure with him... with Edward, were worth the risk.

If she were to remain as a human, then so be it. Their arrival in this strange place had demolished all the plans they had made. Upon this realization, Bella began to wonder if the time had come to make new plans.

She refused to be forced into the position everyone was expecting her to be. She couldn't be the Bella they knew. She hated that the others couldn't see that she was not that Bella and now, she never would become her.

She hadn't meant to upset Jake. She realized too late that her text had been misinterpreted. She had only meant to convey her frustrations over being in this strange place and forced to deal with aspects of her life that hadn't yet come to pass. This was yet another reason she hated texting and as soon as she could, she planned to disable that feature on her PDA.

She wasn't handling the existence of Renesmee too well, either. But it was difficult to accept something that was being forced down her throat. Especially something as unimaginable as meeting your daughter and being told everything that is to come.

Hell, Alice's premonitions were hard enough to swallow at times, but this was a different story completely. This girl... was her future. Or at least it was the original future that had been intended for her.

Bella didn't honestly mind that Jacob had imprinted on the girl. She had truly wanted him to find happiness. As much as she loved Jacob, she knew it was always going to be Edward who possessed her heart.

But what she couldn't understand is why they couldn't understand that she wasn't going to accept the position they believed she should be in. She had not given birth to any child, hell, she had never done anything more than kiss a boy. She was not capable of being the mother this girl wanted. She felt no connection to the girl.

To Bella, she was just the girl Jacob belonged with. And despite the slight sting of resentment, as her own lingering feelings for Jacob remained, Bella was truly happy for him.

She carefully made her way into the dark apartment that she and Edward now shared. She was thankful they had their own rooms, as she wasn't sure she could face him yet. He wouldn't be happy with what she had decided.

As she opened the door to her bedroom, her fingers fumbled for the light switch. Bumping her knee on something in the process as she tried to slide her fingers along the wall and locate the switch.

"Ouch!"

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shieldedbella
2012-01-18 10:37 pm UTC (link)

Bella shook her head as she pulled the covers around her. Renesmee had mentioned they'd return to the point in which they were taken. But she couldn't help but feel.. doubtful that they wouldn't remember anything.

"After we are married.." she slowly began "which time?"

Without even waiting for him to reply, she snatched up her shirt and tried to cover herself the best she could while pulling it back over her head.

"Can you honestly say you are okay with... her? With all of that? Do you really expect me to believe you are just going to ignore that us being together creates that brat?"

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tolovealamb
2012-01-22 09:12 pm UTC (link)

Edward didn't know how to answer Bella's question. "We don't know how long we are going to be here in Colligo. Most of my family is here, even though I'm not too happy with most of them right now. There's no reason why we can't get married here. If and when we do return to Forks, we can do it all over again there."

"To be truthful, I am not okay with Renesmee. I hate that us..me being with you essentially killed you Bella. But Renesmee already exists here. Maybe, maybe we don't have to worry about it happening again." Edward frowned. He wasn't sure that he was willing to take that risk. It was a risk that would cost Bella her life.

Edward took Bella's hand in his. "There's no reason to let her change our plans."

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shieldedbella
2012-01-22 11:35 pm UTC (link)

Bella pulled away her hand and shook her head.

"Your family is here and it's your family that hates me."

She paused for a brief moment, her fingers twisted the beautiful engagement ring on her finger. She loved that ring, she loved everything that it stood for, but now..

"No, Edward. There is every reason I can't marry you." She slipped the beautiful ring from her finger and pressed it into her palm. "Your family is here and you belong with them. I won't get in the way of that and I certainly don't belong."

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	tolovealamb 2012-01-29 02:41 am UTC (link)
	"My family does not hate you Bella. They love you." Edward said. "You belong with me and you belong with my family. I'm not condoning what Alice or Renesmee said but it does not have to change anything if we do not let it." He frowned, watching her take her engagement ring off. "You are not in the way Bella. I love you. You could never be in the way." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

shieldedbella
2012-01-30 08:41 am UTC (link)

Pressing the ring into his hand, she shakes her head.

"You're right, Edward. Can't be in the way if I'm no longer in the picture." Her voice wavered as she pulled away from him. She could feel the tears brimming in her eyes. "It's over, Edward. We.. we're over."

She got off the bed and rushed into the bathroom, not bothering to lock the door behind her. She knew Edward wouldn't enter and even had she locked it, it wouldn't have done any good. He could easily get through the door. She pressed her back to the door, sliding down it as she cried. Wrapping her arms tightly around her knees, she pulled them close and sobbed.

She wasn't going to change her mind. Edward deserved someone better and she refused to stand in between him and his family.

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