InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Can't stop, won't stop!"

James Potter (stolensnitch) wrote in colligo_threads,
@ 2011-06-11 14:54:00

Entry tags:

james potter, regulus black

Who: James Potter, Regulus Black
What: A lack of murdering each other. Amazing!
Where: The roof of Building D
When: Saturday, just after lunchtime.

James was tired. He was tired and scared and worried and honestly? He was terrified. He didn't know what he was doing. He had no idea how to deal with his own wife when she was reduced to the shell she currently was. He was making bucketloads of daisies for her since they made her grin and clap her hands in glee, and he held her close when she was startled by things or she accidentally did wandless magic and he fed her and bathed her and basically, it was like the first few months after Harry had been born, only it was Lils.

She told him random things every once in a while, mainly about how she felt dirty and the wriggly things were back (he hated those wriggly things. They showed up in Lils' mind at the worst times, usually when she was calm and playing with some of the things they'd already bought in preparation for the baby, and they sent her loopy, trying to scrape her skin off, and he couldn't stand them) and sometimes she just said his name over and over until it meant nothing any more, it was just a noise she was making. Mostly it was just random babble that didn't make any sense, and he just had to hide how he felt and deal with Lils as best he could. Which wasn't very well, he thought.

He knew Pads couldn't cope, and he didn't want to ask Moony or Harry or Jamie if they'd take over for a little while so that he could get a little break because Lils got so worked up if he wasn't there to keep her grounded. He had to wait until Lils fell asleep, and then he used the baby monitor he'd bought a few weeks ago. The base unit sat on the chest of drawers in their room, the hand-held bit was clipped to his belt, and then he apparated to the roof to smoke constantly and try to get his mind to slow down. It was his routine now, and it was working as well as anyone might expect.

Lils had dozed off after lunch, so he'd grabbed a mug of tea and his cigarettes, and apparated. Once he was up there, he realised he wasn't alone. Then he realised who the other person on the roof actually was. He was too tired to react like he normally would, though, so he just stood where he was, checked that the monitor was working, and then lit up using his wand. "I heard... Sirius told me. About Juno. I... Sorry."

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arrogant_black
2011-06-11 08:26 pm UTC (link)

Regulus had been following much the same routine. When Juno was a wake he made sure she was safe, happy, and fed. When she was scared he forwent his aversion to touch and held her until whatever was frightening her passed. But sometimes that was the opposite of what she wanted, or as best Regulus could guess, and during those moments he felt so helpless. He felt that often, especially knowing the horrible woman who’d done this to Juno was still out there.

Regulus didn’t have many moments to himself, only slipping away once Juno was asleep or when her friends visited her. In the case of the latter Regulus didn’t want to overwhelm Juno with too many people around her, or maybe Regulus was overwhelmed, it was probably both. When Regulus had the chance, he’d calmly slip out of his brother’s flat, but the moment the door closed, and Juno couldn’t see him panic he was all but bolting for the roof.

He’d had a moment now, a chance at a cigarette that barely kept his nerves from fraying into a thousand threads, and at the open air that broke down the sensation that the walls of this new life were tumbling, crushing down on him. Needless to say he wasn’t thrilled that the last person he got on with in this place had burst through that door and was now staring at him. And not only was that man definitely not leaving (considering he’d been there first Regulus felt he shouldn’t have to be the one to walk back through the roof access door, James should) but he was talking, actually talking to Regulus.

Regulus knew Lily had succumbed to the same terrible ordeal as Juno, though, to be honest, even as he and Lily had reached a point they could converse with each other, Regulus hadn’t given her plight much thought. They still weren’t exactly friends and his presence, being a former Death Eater and all, and with so many friends already assisting her, would be less than welcomed. It had been best to stay away.

Slightly appalled, but knowing he’d need to exercise discretion when dealing with James, Regulus stared at James expressionless until the older man had finished speaking. He knew James was in the same position as he, but hadn’t bothered to try and reach out given their history, and now… James was doing something like that?

Regulus did eventually nod, though caution still tempered his every move, mistrustful as he was. He thought about leaving, but stubborn Black arrogance, and a need to get as much fresh air as possible held him to the spot. “How’s… Lily?” he asked hesitantly, unsure how James would react to him voicing Lily’s name.

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