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john druitt had a chest monster (exquisiterush) wrote in colligo_threads,
@ 2011-05-25 01:42:00

Entry tags:

ashley magnus, john druitt

Who: John Druitt and Ashley Magnus.
What: John is uncertain of his place in his daughter's life. They ought to talk about that.
Where: Roof of the Sanctuary.
When: Late evening.
Rating: PG at the highest, most likely.
Status: In progress.

John had not been avoiding his daughter, not in so many words, but he had been keeping to himself more since Helen's arrival. It wasn't anything intentional, simply a product of his nature. Oddly, for someone with such a history of aggression and violence, John tended to retreat inward when it came to emotional issues. It was a failing he had never overcome, and this was no different.

Though he was more than happy that Helen was in the city, both because of his own affection for her and because it offered a reunion for her and Ashley, his place here felt uneasy. He wasn't sure how he fit in his daughter's life any more. Helen was the mother who had raised her, the parent she loved unconditionally. He was a man she barely knew, of whom most of her memories involved violence and conflict. He could hardly imagine they would remain as close as they had managed to become, now that she had Helen back. That was something he didn't feel he deserved.

Still, it seemed wrong to keep away from Ashley. She was his blood and he loved her more than his own life. It was late when he approached her, on the roof of the Sanctuary. He had always loved this place. It allowed him to clear his head and think. It seemed a strangely appropriate place to clear the air with his daughter. "It's a lovely night," he said softly, as he stepped up beside her.

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choseherside
2011-05-25 06:43 am UTC (link)

Truth be told, Ashley had seen better days. Jamie was missing, likely abducted by the mayor's goons for her story on his corruption, and there wasn't a damn thing she could do about it. Sure she could speak to the resident clairvoyant, get a location, and help her friend. However, Peter Fleming had asked her to let him handle it for the time being and, well, he was Jamie's dad so Ashley wasn't going to get in the way of that. She might not like it, she might hate feeling helpless, but she was not about to get between a father and his desire to protect his daughter himself. Especially because Jamie's dad reminded her a lot of her own dad and Ashley had a pretty good idea if the situation was reversed that her dad wouldn't be wanting to play nice with others while helping her out either.

So instead of being out there, making herself useful, Ashley was hanging around the Sanctuary and trying not to think about the situation. Which would have been a lot easier for her to do if she hadn't decided to make her way to the one place in the whole building where thinking tended to be the main event. But she'd always found peace on the roof whenever she'd gone there over some problem or another in the past and hoped this time would be much the same.

Hearing someone approach, Ashley didn't have to look to know it as her dad. Her senses could easily differentiate one person from another, relying on everything from the way they smelled to how they walked and breathed to aid her in identifying them. She waited until he was close before glancing over at him, nodding a little at his comment.

"Yeah," she agreed, turning her own attention to the cityscape spread out before them. It wasn't the same as back home, of course, but it was close enough. She was quiet for a minute, not sure what to say. She wasn't stupid. She noticed he'd been pulling away from her recently. She just wasn't sure what she'd done to cause it and, now that he was finally standing beside her, she also wasn't sure how to ask.

Finally she settled for a casual, "So... what's up?" Because while maybe not the most direct way of questioning in the world, it definitely put the ball back in his court.

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exquisiterush
2011-05-27 05:55 pm UTC (link)

John knew of the situation with Ashley's friend, and he would have offered his own assistance if he hadn't fully believed the situation was already handled. If that hadn't been the case, Ashley would be out looking, not here waiting. Besides, he was well acquainted with what a man would do for his child and, given that Fleming was too much like him for his own comfort, he had no doubt that Peter Fleming would do everything in his power to get his daughter back. He had a good deal of respect for the man in spite of his past deeds, a topic on which he really couldn't judge anyone given his own past, and he got the sense that they could be good friends if they allowed themselves to be.

He wasn't entirely surprised to find her on the roof, all things considered. It seemed to be the immediate choice for people with a lot on their minds, even if they didn't consciously choose it. Many times, he had found himself here almost without realising it when his mind was heavy with thoughts and regrets. Like tonight. Like most nights since Helen had arrived, excepting ones where James or Nikola pulled him forcibly from his brooding and did their best to ease his melancholic humour.

He was grateful to his friends for their support, however unnecessary he deemed it, but he was glad they had both left him alone tonight. He needed the time to himself, to figure out his own feelings regarding Helen. The topic had always left him so divided, particularly after he had become aware of his affliction, and now the divide was gone but what remained was a mess of indecision and regret.

He considered Ashley's question, somehow knowing what she was really asking with the words. He'd been unfair to her, he knew that, and he wanted to fix this. He just didn't know how. Still, he couldn't see how things could continue as they had been now that Helen was here. She would never trust him, and he wouldn't blame her for that, and her opinion would surely influence Ashley sooner or later. He did not wish to grow more attached to his daughter, only to lose her. Still, this wasn't fair, and he needed to do something to rectify the situation. He'd always been awful at opening up to people, but he could try.

"It is...complicated," he said after a long moment of silence. "It always is when your mother is around. That is not to say that I am not pleased to see her, of course, but...she does serve to remind me of all my failings, I suppose. It is not easy to forget the things I have done, but somehow...when Helen isn't here...I allow myself to believe that I have moved beyond it. When I see her, I am reminded of how far I have left to go." He paused. "I am sorry if I have been...distant. I just...I thought it best to give you and Helen time. I know how dearly she missed you."

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choseherside
2011-05-27 10:31 pm UTC (link)

Leaning against the stone edging that reached somewhere between her chest and shoulders, Ashley stared out at the night sky as he spoke. She just listened, trying not to pass judgment one way or another until he'd finished. She could more than understand his worries when it came to her mom. However, it... stung, a bit, to realize he had been pulling away not because of something she had done to deserve it but because of some crap altruistic reason that kept her from even being able to really be upset about it. With a soft sigh, she finally turned, hip pressing into the stone, and met his gaze.

"Okay, first of all? We are talking about my mom," she said as though her point was completely obvious. To her, it was. "No one ever measures up. That just... it doesn't happen." Ashley shrugged, cheeks puffing a bit as she blew out a long breath through slightly pursed lips. Her bangs blew upward as she exhaled, her arms crossing over her chest when she spoke again.

"And I'm not her. Plus? Totally capable of spending time with more than one person in the course of a day." She gave him a faintly bemused look. "But, if I ever feel like that is becoming an issue, I will most definitely let you know and you can feel free to go right back to distancing yourself. Promise." Ashley extended her hand after a second, meeting his gaze with an open, honest, still somewhat amused expression.

"Deal?" she asked with an arched eyebrow.

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exquisiterush
2011-06-01 07:12 pm UTC (link)

John knew he hadn't handled this as well as he could have, but he could also acknowledge that his decisions were often not the most emotionally healthy. It just wasn't as easy to do so as he was making them as it was after the fact. Hindsight was always clearer than his view of the moment. Now that he had gained distance and perspective, he realised that he really wasn't being fair to his daughter. If she wanted distance he had no doubt she would talk to him, and he shouldn't make assumptions about what she needed. After all, he was hardly the best judge of such things.

"Your mother is an amazing woman," was all John could say. He still found it difficult to ever say a negative word about Helen. It wasn't that he believed she was without fault, but it was one thing to privately acknowledge that fault and quite enough to call attention to it. "It only makes sense that she expects the same from others."

He gave his daughter a small smile. "Deal," he said. "And I apologise. It was not right of me to make the decision for you...but I have a long-standing habit of making entirely the wrong decisions." He sighed. "Did your mother ever tell you how we met? I was her patient, though my problems in those days were of an entirely different nature than those of the past century." He looked out at the city, going quiet for a moment. "I have never been the most balanced person...I could hardly tell you what the modern diagnosis would be, but my family had a history of being...not well. My grandmother, aunt and my eldest sister, Georgiana, all killed themselves because of their...illness. My mother died in an asylum. My father always believed that I shared their...weakness, as he called it."

He looked down at Ashley. "I am not making excuses," he said, "but it's only right that you know. I do not always make the best decisions. For a long time my other...infirmities were overshadowed by the rage of my parasite. It is...difficult, I suppose...readjusting. So..if I'm ever upsetting you...please tell me. I don't always realise the affect of my actions, on both myself and others."

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