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john druitt had a chest monster ([info]exquisiterush) wrote in [info]colligo_threads,
@ 2011-05-25 01:42:00

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Entry tags:ashley magnus, john druitt

Who: John Druitt and Ashley Magnus.
What: John is uncertain of his place in his daughter's life. They ought to talk about that.
Where: Roof of the Sanctuary.
When: Late evening.
Rating: PG at the highest, most likely.
Status: In progress.

John had not been avoiding his daughter, not in so many words, but he had been keeping to himself more since Helen's arrival. It wasn't anything intentional, simply a product of his nature. Oddly, for someone with such a history of aggression and violence, John tended to retreat inward when it came to emotional issues. It was a failing he had never overcome, and this was no different.

Though he was more than happy that Helen was in the city, both because of his own affection for her and because it offered a reunion for her and Ashley, his place here felt uneasy. He wasn't sure how he fit in his daughter's life any more. Helen was the mother who had raised her, the parent she loved unconditionally. He was a man she barely knew, of whom most of her memories involved violence and conflict. He could hardly imagine they would remain as close as they had managed to become, now that she had Helen back. That was something he didn't feel he deserved.

Still, it seemed wrong to keep away from Ashley. She was his blood and he loved her more than his own life. It was late when he approached her, on the roof of the Sanctuary. He had always loved this place. It allowed him to clear his head and think. It seemed a strangely appropriate place to clear the air with his daughter. "It's a lovely night," he said softly, as he stepped up beside her.


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[info]choseherside
2011-05-27 10:31 pm UTC (link)

Leaning against the stone edging that reached somewhere between her chest and shoulders, Ashley stared out at the night sky as he spoke. She just listened, trying not to pass judgment one way or another until he'd finished. She could more than understand his worries when it came to her mom. However, it... stung, a bit, to realize he had been pulling away not because of something she had done to deserve it but because of some crap altruistic reason that kept her from even being able to really be upset about it. With a soft sigh, she finally turned, hip pressing into the stone, and met his gaze.

"Okay, first of all? We are talking about my mom," she said as though her point was completely obvious. To her, it was. "No one ever measures up. That just... it doesn't happen." Ashley shrugged, cheeks puffing a bit as she blew out a long breath through slightly pursed lips. Her bangs blew upward as she exhaled, her arms crossing over her chest when she spoke again.

"And I'm not her. Plus? Totally capable of spending time with more than one person in the course of a day." She gave him a faintly bemused look. "But, if I ever feel like that is becoming an issue, I will most definitely let you know and you can feel free to go right back to distancing yourself. Promise." Ashley extended her hand after a second, meeting his gaze with an open, honest, still somewhat amused expression.

"Deal?" she asked with an arched eyebrow.

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[info]exquisiterush
2011-06-01 07:12 pm UTC (link)
John knew he hadn't handled this as well as he could have, but he could also acknowledge that his decisions were often not the most emotionally healthy. It just wasn't as easy to do so as he was making them as it was after the fact. Hindsight was always clearer than his view of the moment. Now that he had gained distance and perspective, he realised that he really wasn't being fair to his daughter. If she wanted distance he had no doubt she would talk to him, and he shouldn't make assumptions about what she needed. After all, he was hardly the best judge of such things.

"Your mother is an amazing woman," was all John could say. He still found it difficult to ever say a negative word about Helen. It wasn't that he believed she was without fault, but it was one thing to privately acknowledge that fault and quite enough to call attention to it. "It only makes sense that she expects the same from others."

He gave his daughter a small smile. "Deal," he said. "And I apologise. It was not right of me to make the decision for you...but I have a long-standing habit of making entirely the wrong decisions." He sighed. "Did your mother ever tell you how we met? I was her patient, though my problems in those days were of an entirely different nature than those of the past century." He looked out at the city, going quiet for a moment. "I have never been the most balanced person...I could hardly tell you what the modern diagnosis would be, but my family had a history of being...not well. My grandmother, aunt and my eldest sister, Georgiana, all killed themselves because of their...illness. My mother died in an asylum. My father always believed that I shared their...weakness, as he called it."

He looked down at Ashley. "I am not making excuses," he said, "but it's only right that you know. I do not always make the best decisions. For a long time my other...infirmities were overshadowed by the rage of my parasite. It is...difficult, I suppose...readjusting. So..if I'm ever upsetting you...please tell me. I don't always realise the affect of my actions, on both myself and others."

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