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Merlin (magicalsecrets) wrote in colligo_threads,
@ 2011-04-21 15:49:00

Entry tags:

merlin, morgana

who: AU!Merlin and Morgana
what: clash of the camelot sorcerers.
where: outside Morgana's room, and going from there
when: shortly after Merlin's arrival
status: complete.

This was not a Merlin any of them would be familiar with. Not their young version, stumbling through life, with no real plan beyond protecting Arthur. Not the old, story book version full of childish fancy. He was taller, tattoos on his fingers, scruff on his chin, and more scars then even he knew. Dressed in black leathers and his hooded traveling cloak that made him look out of place in the hall to say the least, and an imposing figure to be sure. This Merlin was not particularly kind like his other counterparts either, if his brief discussions over the network were any indication.

He turned the PDA in his fingers absently as he leaned back against the wall, gaze holding steady on a door not far from the room he'd woken up in. She would keep close. Morgan in any form was not someone he was ever free of for very long, and he was curious about this one. She already had some of the traits so obvious in his own. Of course, she thought she could hide from him - that he would not be able to locate her - different or not. She wanted him to wait though, and so he would. He watched another man enter the room, heard the sound of children, and finally took a few steps forward. The device he'd been given dropped into a pouch at his belt as he crossed his arms, and stood a few feet from her door.

She had sounded protective of Arthur, one of the many thoughts that he had been considering while he waited. Of course, Morgan had tried to pretend she was worried for her brother too, but he knew better then to think she would give up her claim on the throne so easily. Then there was this Guinevere who claimed to be Arthur's wife. Merlin groaned, rubbing at his temple briefly. He needed to see all this - see their Camelot - to be sure that it wasn't all lies and magic meant to confuse him. That this was not Morgan meddling with magics she didn't understand.

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magicalsecrets
2011-04-22 07:31 pm UTC (link)

“Would you like a glimpse of my world - my Camelot? It is only fair.” She had to be curious, he could see it in her reaction to his words, and she would get to see what his power was like. Their magic was different, and his abilities as a seer were not quite the same as hers either. He wouldn’t teach her, but she could get a taste of it. “After which, I did give you the option of asking me to leave you and the others in peace, if that is what you want.”

--

When he smiled and stopped, Morgana inclined her own head in thanks. She had been about to take her leave when he made her offer. To say that it surprised her would have been redundant and Morgana didn’t like being that, even with just herself, anymore than most. The conditions had been either he teach her or he leave her be. He didn’t need to offer to show her anything and yet there he was. She wondered if there was a reason for it or if it was sudden, genuine, kindness. Morgana decided to go with the first.

She hesitated. Morgana said nothing of of his “option” because she couldn’t, whole-heartedly, say that she wanted him to leave her in peace. It would probably be best if he didn’t speak with the others. “I’m sure that Arthur will seek you out if he hasn’t already.” She said by way of answer. There wasn’t a Merlin in any universe that Mordred would ever seek out and she knew that he could more than handle himself, even if it was on the time of her tongue to warn him away from her … son. What Gwen did wasn’t any of her business and Morgana wouldn’t keep Morgause from speaking with him, so long as she was around when it happened. Yes, the man - something about him continued to fascinate her. Yes, she would learn all that she could from him if that chance ever came. No, she didn’t trust him. Not with her family.

Morgana slowly held her hand out as he had before. His motives could affect how she viewed him, it certainly wouldn’t have bearing on what she wanted to see. “I do. I find myself extremely curious of your Camelot and if you are willing to show me, I am willing to see.”

--

“Alright. I have little control over what you will see. It could be visions of things I witnessed yesterday, years ago, or visions I have had of what is to come. And I warn you, I harbor no delusions that I am now nor have I ever been a good man...” He waited a beat, allowing her the chance to change her mind, then took her hand when she did not. When normally he would try and draw images from her mind, or allow them to come to him - instead he pushed his thoughts and memories to her.

They were suspicious of him, and had every right to be he supposed. As he’d warned, he was not a good man. She could potentially see anything from him changing Uther to have his night with Ygraine, taking the babe who would be king from his mother’s hands, the day he brought Arthur to the ruins of Camelot, the death of his family or the swordsmith’s daughter as he took the sword from her outstretched hand, the deaths he had caused through magic, and the darkness it brought out in him, or even his encounters with Morgan. She could see that he did not age, that he lived to put the sword of mars in its place, making it a legend for Arthur to one day retrieve. His faith in Arthur to be a good king...It was all up to chance.

When he let go of her again, he stepped back and waited, curious as to what she witnessed, and how she would react to it. Her world was under constant threat by magic, but his was ruled more by the sword and manipulating the hearts of the people. His Camelot was a Roman ruin, full of promise and legend, where hers was a kingdom already. His Arthur was younger, and not raised by Uther. He had visions of a land running red with blood, overrun by chaos, and ruled by no one - a fate that Arthur was meant to keep them from - while the other Merlin just wanted peace for magic users again.

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magicalsecrets
2011-04-22 07:33 pm UTC (link)

At least he’s honest, Morgana thought to herself but she didn’t remove her hands despite his warning. His honesty, as much as a desire to see and a niggling - almost morbid - wish to see his sorts of vision - was what kept her hands in his. Morgana was used to dishonesty. She was used to people becoming so blind by their missions, obsessed by their goals, obsessive in general, that they became delusional. So much so that they were unaware, or didn’t care and justified, the extreme and hurtful means that they took. She was sad to say, and actually struggling, with the fact that she became one of those people. Morgana didn’t delude herself. She had always been a person willing to damn consequences for the right thing. She knew that she had never been as good as Gwen had once believed her to be but she had attempted to emulate that. Morgana just didn’t know when the lines had become so blurred.

She hoped that, felt that, his clarity would better serve his Camelot. And she would like one story, one world, where Camelot started out rocky but didn’t fall. As nice as that alternate of Morgause that had been in Colligo once, the one where their father had lived and they were raised together, was Morgana that with the more she knew the more she believed that that world of hope was fake. Some trick of their captors rather than a possibility. It was just too good. A Camelot shrouded in difficulties but became strong, survived, now that was much more believable.

Morgana should have learned by now to stop putting such faith in complete strangers. For someone who played the reserved princess so well, she had the ability and the bad judgement of just opening up far too much to others. Perhaps Merlin was right. She latched on to anyone who spouted the right words.

The visions had come fast and sharp, so very clear, as if she were focusing sharp gray eyes on them right in the moment. It was like having photos, taken with a … with a good lense, held rapidly before her. Photos that moved.

She didn’t know what was worse. Well-intention delusion that cost thousands of people their lives or willingly deceiving, with both eyes wide-open, taking on actions that might not have been as shattering in breadth but damaged lives no less.

--

When he moved away one of Morgana’s hands fisted after she flexed it, she closed her other hand above it, meaningless motions to focus herself and gather her thoughts. Needing to move, despite how her blank and closed face seemed to show that she was implacable and unaffected - that had fallen down after a range of emotions had filed across her face (horror, disgust, understanding, shock, pity, confusion), easily missed if a person didn’t know her or didn’t know how to look. But she did not wish to pace.

She needed a drink or a chair. Her head pounded. She wondered if it was a bad thing that she would prefer his Camelot. For all of it’s uncertainty, for all that his magic frightened her more than her own, there was something much more grounded in all of that blood and sword.

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magicalsecrets
2011-04-22 07:34 pm UTC (link)

“You can’t raise and encourage a people on a bed of lies and treachery. My father,” If he had seen enough then he would know who she really meant. And if he didn’t … well, she would correct him, “once told me that. It isn’t something that I’ve ever forgot … despite, despite what you saw.” Her gaze wavered slightly at that. Because she had no doubt that he saw the Camelot that was to come under her. She had had dreams, there had been thoughts on how to rectify things. Morgana had known that she would have beg and scrape and prove to the people of Camelot that she was the right one to rule, after what she had done. She had been willing to do that but she had also been willing to … make necessary sacrifices before getting there. However, as horrible all of that had been, between herself and Morgause there was honesty. Yes, she was still saying that after so many things her sister had done too her that was questionable, had convinced her of despite inner trepidation. Morgause had her best interest at heart and trusted that she would know what would be best for Camelot. Morgause had known that as Queen, Morgana and Camelot would be one - just as she had ensured that the Knights of Medhia would hurt no one by putting everyone to sleep. “If he is to be king, if you are to advise him. You need to tell him the truth. Coddling him will do more damage than either of you will want.” Morgana warned, her gaze growing even more steady, unwavering as if there wasn’t the space that had placed. She had seen it between Gaius and Uther, she saw it between Merlin and Arthur. Merlin might not be stupid enough to call his Arthur friend but he was to be his advisor, he already was. He couldn’t drag together the different pieces of Arthur - boy, king, and could be legend - all together by force. He couldn’t have all of these expectations, not tell him, and then expect it all to work out. In that way lead disappointment and their disappointment would lead to more death. “He isn’t your puppet anymore than you’re his.” She paused. She didn’t know if he would remember this when he went home - she liked to think that they remembered … yes, still a bit of naive hope despite all of her own disappointment - and she didn’t know if he was even bother listening to her. Morgana was used to having her valid suggestions mocked, distrusted, or ignored when it came to men and their kingdoms. Hell, in general at times. But for some reason she felt that it needed to be said and she was bothering. “Anymore than you are his trophy.”

Merlin rested a hand on the small of her back gently as if to steady her while she dealt with the visions. They were not easy to take in all at once, and he had no doubt that at least some of what she saw was not in the least bit pleasant. While he was set in his goals, and was willing to do whatever it took to avoid the future he had seen, Merlin didn’t entertain any foolish ideas that it lessened the harm he had done. Arthur had witnessed the murder of the parents who had raised him, and was given a life he never asked for. He nearly died in the attempt to retrieve a sword. He knew Uther would be poisoned, and let it happen to bring the boy to the throne.

“And what truth did you see that needs to be told?” He asked curiously, amused by the idea that she believe he coddled Arthur. Even more that she had seen the conversation between himself and Morgan about being wounded deer or the the king’s trophy. Merlin wasn’t mocking her advice, but he wondered what she though he was meant to tell Arthur.

“The boy knows the truth of his birth, and I tell him the truth as he asks it of me. Certain lies are not for him, but for the sake of the people, and for myself.” He lied about the swords, and kept secrets of his sorcery and age. But then no one really knew him, and of all his secrets. However, for the most part his guidance was accepted regardless, because it was known he had knowledge of the world and the future that others did not, and if he offered council it was for a reason.

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magicalsecrets
2011-04-22 07:35 pm UTC (link)

Morgana appreciated the gesture and in fact her thoughts were too full to be concerned - for the moment - by any decorum. "I meant in general, more for situations that will surely come than anything specific that has already happened." Her tone wasn't at all defensive, simply clarifying her previous words. It helped that despite his smile and manner she could tell that he wasn't belittling her suggestion. He seemed like a man of secrets and from what she had seen only made her more certain of that opinion.

Morgana listened as he went on and she turned his words over in her thoughts, looking up at him with furrowed brows and the slight downward turn of her mouth. “For yourself?” She perhaps was pushing it with the questions but she had shared with him her Camelot and him to her, his history. She doubted it would hurt to push a little for an explanation.

“Then you needn’t worry. As I said, I give him the truth when he asks or needs it from me. He needs to trust in me, so lying would not serve that purpose.” Merlin had seen the many lies in her world, and the harm they had done because for all their protectiveness towards one another there was very little trust. It would probably be wise that no one ever completely trust in him, but they had faith, at least, that what he did was for a reason, and with mostly good intentions. Not entirely unlike her Merlin, but he was younger and did not see the big picture when he acted. Merlin saw things in many shades of gray, and what might seem right in the moment would have more consequences in the future - as he’d seen in the vision of Morgana being poisoned.

“Yes.” He nodded slightly, and left it at that. Merlin’s secrets were his own, and the hints she might have gotten through his sight were more then most would ever see. He was feared and not particularly welcomed into any realm. Camelot was becoming a rare exception, but only because he played such a vital role in its success, in guiding its king.

Morgana, as strange as it might seem, almost expected someone to pass-by and tell him not to keep her away from her worrying since she was so good at it. Or that was what others made it seem like given how often they told her not to. It certainly would have placed a certain lighter air to the situation as the realization that his hand was on the small of her back came to her. “Good.” Morgana answered, stepping back from him.

It was good in her opinion. It was certainly better than what she and her lot could expect. And maybe the others were right, she did worry too much, because she knew that she would be thinking on this likely more than she should. Morgana had seen how much unnecessary damage secrets could do, how much trust was shattered because of betrayal and outright lies. While she didn’t agree with the “tell the truth when he needs it”, she did understand that sometimes, some things just shouldn’t be said.

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magicalsecrets
2011-04-22 07:35 pm UTC (link)

“Fair enough.” She hadn’t truly thought he would share much, if anything, but really it hadn’t hurt to ask.

Morgana momentarily bit on her bottom lip before saying, “If you should need anything, all you have to do is knock on my door or put up a message on the network - where we first found you on the device - and I’ll answer.” Not that she thought he was a man who ever asked for help, but she offered anyway. This place could be quite a lot at times and this was a completely different time. Even Uther had had to ask for help, to figure out how to eat, how to pay for things and how to simply survive in a faster, more sterile life than they were all used to.

It never hurt to ask, but he was pleased that she did not push the subject. Their discussion on their worlds, pasts could end here. He did not have trusted friends who could ask of his secrets, and would not trust a stranger with all of them either. It would be a waste to spend the time sharing anyways, he doubted he would be here long. Had this been some longer stay, something that would risk the safety of those back home, he would have seen it.

“Thank you, Morgana.” He appreciated the offer, and while she was right in her judgement of him, if he was stuck here for any real length of time he may bother her for her company. Assuming she didn’t seek him out first to take him up on the offer to teach her to control her magic. Where the rest of it was concerned though - Merlin had adjusted to many changes in his life, this would just be another, more complicated one. He could deal with the noise and the pace, paying for things wouldn’t be an issue either - he had no qualms with murder should the situation arise, he would not think twice about stealing food. Not to mention his counterpart kept the apartment he’d woken up in well stocked so it might not even be necessary.

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